A/N: This was a random idea I had late last night when I was writing my other hpff (casually plugs her other stories). I wondered what the Marauders themselves would think of some of the situations we writers put them in and decided it might be fun to try and write.
I'm not sure if this idea has been done before, it sounds like something that might've but since I have never read any I don't really care!
This is set in the Marauder's fifth year. I now present...
'Marauders discover Fanfiction'
…Holed up in Remus's bedroom, his three friends gathered excitedly around his Muggle computer. The screen had just loaded when a random window appeared labelled 'Fanfiction'.
x
"What on earth is this?" Sirius exclaimed, staring at the many titles with their names in.
James peered over his shoulder, "Moony... have you been writing about us?"
Remus walked over to the screen and looked at it in equal disbelief. "No, of course I haven't. I have no idea what this is" He shook his head, unable to understand it. "It's never come up before."
Sirius clicked on a girl's name that was next to a story called 'Sirius falls in love'.
"You guys, I think these names are the people who wrote this stuff."
He read the girl's profile out loud.
"Name: Shelley
Age: 14
Hair colour: Brown with blonde bits in when the sun hits it at just the right light"
"Sounds dreamy" Sirius quipped. He clicked back onto the girl's story.
"Slash," Sirius pronounced slowly, "I wonder what slash is…"
Scanning its contents, a stunned silence followed.
"I'm gay?" he said eventually, his face a picture of disbelief. He looked a bit put out by it- all those years spent snogging random girls had officially just gone up the swanny.
James laughed, spotting another one. "Knew you had a thing for Moony, Padfoot!"
"What?" Sirius and Remus chorused. They hadn't been aware they harboured feelings for one another. It seems they were mistaken.
James pointed at the screen. "Look, it says so right there."
The two 'lovers' peered closely at the screen. Sure enough the story told of a brief, but hot love affair they had shared at the end of fourth year.
Remus looked away embarrassedly, his face slowly turning a bright shade of red
"We never had 'beautiful canine sex,'" he muttered quietly.
James laughed even harder.
"I second that Moony," Sirius exclaimed loudly, apparently not as self-conscious as his friend, "And I most certainly do not 'ship' you."
x
James pushed his friend off the chair so he could take full control of the mouse.
"Hey!" Sirius protested as his backside hit the floor with a thump.
"Move it or lose it Pad," James grinned. Sirius got up and punched James's arm half playfully.
Remus looked at the screen again as James scrolled down.
"How do all these people know I'm a werewolf?" he muttered in disbelief.
"You lot haven't told anyone have you?" he asked uncertainly.
They all protested their innocence forcefully with numerous "course not's" and "we would never's."
"These people must be spying on us somehow," Sirius stated.
"I bet it's with an invisibility cloak," Peter said knowledgably; sure it had been a clever thing to say.
"All of them?" Remus asked, somewhat tiredly.
"Maybe they all know one another? Like one big spying unit," Peter mused.
Sirius promptly thwacked Peter across the back of his head for his imbecilic nature.
x
"What's this 'au' business that keeps cropping up?" Sirius asked suddenly.
"Dunno" James shrugged, "but this one here says you get together with a girl called 'Hermione' after spending 12 years in Azkaban prison."
Sirius paused to think about this. "How ridiculous," he scoffed finally. "Like I would ever get together with a girl who had a name like Hermione."
"Yeah," Peter laughed, once again trying to include himself. "Herm-own-ninny, what a stupid name!"
"It's Hermione, Pete," Remus explained, "And it's probably best you don't speak anymore tonight."
Peter nodded and promptly curled up into a ball on the floor and went to sleep.
Not long after, Peter's loud snores began issuing from underneath the table (where the three boys had kicked him out of the way).
"Pass a sock would you Prongs?" Sirius said casually. "I'm going to stuff it in Peter's mouth."
James looked around, "I can only find dirty ones."
"Good."
x
"It says in this one that this Hermione is 20 years younger than you!" James exclaimed, looking slightly impressed. He patted Sirius on the back in congratulations, "Get in there, mate."
James and Sirius high-fived at Sirius's ability to score a younger woman.
"Yes" said Remus doubtfully. "That's either extremely impressive… or extremely disturbing…"
"You need talk Moony, at least I only bang this Hermione bird a few times. It says here that in 'non au', you marry someone almost young enough to be your kid."
Remus looked surprised, then secretly pleased, then finally slightly concerned. "This person is a woman, isn't it?" he asked hesitantly.
Sirius laughed and nodded before looking doubtful himself. "At least I think Tonks is a girl's name…"
x
"Holy Merlin!" James exclaimed suddenly. "It says here that this 'Harry' bloke that keeps being mentioned is my son…"
There were gasps and cries of shock.
"….with Lily." James finished.
There was now a stunned silence, quickly followed by raucous laughter.
"Hey, it could happen…" James said defensively. The laughter continued.
"Ha, you and Lily, as if." Sirius breathed between laughs.
Peter was apparently awake again, for his laughter carried on for slightly too long under the table.
James kicked his foot out and could only presume he had hit Peter's head for his giggling stopped immediately and was followed by silence.
Remus peered under the table and nodded. "Unconscious."
The three boys chuckled.
x
"Who's this Mary Sue girl that keeps being mentioned?" Remus asked curiously.
"Dunno," Sirius shrugged, "But I'd do her. She sounds like the perfect woman; compliant, always happy, perfect hair, face, body."
James nodded in agreement, "And these 'review' things say it like it's a bad thing." James shook his head in disbelief, "How can all those qualities be bad?"
x
"Hold on, what's this one…?"
James clicked on the story labelled 'Marauder's discover Fanfiction'.
He scrolled down in disbelief before clicking the screen off immediately.
"I think we should all go to bed now," he said suddenly.
"I don't think I like this Fanfiction lark very much."
