…And to think he'd been worried for Meredy. How ironic.. It is himsef he should have protected better.
( Then again, why would he have? )
Hadn't it always been Erza, with her beautiful locks of red hair - even with Ultear by his side and in his bed during the time spent masquerading as a council member? Had she not possessed his heart ever since their tender years? Hadn't it always been girls and girls only?
How in God's name could he have predicted the havoc Lyon would wreck in his life, and that only with a simple kiss under the mistletoe? How could he he have predicted that the smug, arrogant, frustratingly handsome Ice wizard would pierce through the walls he'd shielded himself with oh so easily, digging his way to his fragile, broken heart and making it his?
How?!
.
Overwhelmed, Jellal screamed, striking the tree he'd been using as a punching bag for about fifteen minutes in an attempt to find release. He knew Meredy would ask questions in the morning. He didn't care. He didn't care that it was past midnight either; he needed this, him who was always in control, head high and master of his emotions - but all that was a facade, obviously. A mask behind which hid a young boy fascinated by stars. A broken soul.
They couldn't know about this. SHE couldn't know, because she was happy and in love and so was he, with the same man Or was he? Was it love?
…He didn't quite know.
…
He was tired. So tired.
( At least, he had not forgotten to raise a soundproof barrier this time. )
( Not that he knew whether it'd fool Erik or not… )
.
The golden glow surrounding his hands faded away, and with it left every ounce of adrenaline that had inhabited him. He sunk to the ground, hands ( bleeding from punching the tree so much ) grasping his throbbing head and tears threatening to spill from his hazel eyes.
He cursed Lyon and his kiss. Lyon, the man that had made him question everything that had once made sense in his insane life. Speaking his name brought him grief, a feeling of helplessness, warmth in his heart and butterflies in his stomach he pained to crush. Hearing it leave his ( glowing with happiness ) pink-haired guildmate's lips brought him scorching jealousy which guilt always followed. He had turned his world upside down, invaded his thoughts and dreams - because suddenly he was not dreaming of red locks and lipstick but of white hair, cold hands and broad shoulders, of snow, ice and peppermint breath and exquisite perfume and soft, haunting and tempting lips and Mavis, of his eyes. Those beautiful, hypnotizing eyes of a deep cornflower blue, irises he felt as if he could drown into, eyes full of malice and audace but also of sadness, mystery and-
The laugh that escaped him was bitter and desesperate and mixed with a sob, because he knew that Lyon Vastia unconsciously had him wrapped around his finger.
And he hated it.
Jellal Fernandes hated how deep he'd fallen for the ice prick currently courting his sister-figure, all because of a stupid Christmas tradition the other man had decided to follow.
And, most of all, he hated how he couldn't even bring himself to resent the man for it.