A/N: If you've never read any of my other stories don't worry, just know that Violette is Jamie's older sister and dates Kurt since season 2 of the show. And her dead father Videl was French. And if you like this, I recommend reading through the rest of my AU. If you do know my other fics, it's not very spoiler-y at all. If you've actually read any fanfic ever, it's actually very much expected.
WARNING! mentions of a miscarriage. And a lot of periods.
June 2003
When she was still in the Brotherhood, Tabby's arrival was a welcomed change. Being the only girl in a house full of teenage boys was suffocating at times. She had no female friends. Rogue's short-lived stunt in the Boarding House didn't develop any kind of a relationship between the two of them. Pietro knew some shit about girls, but only through trial and error. Everything that served as a reminder of Violette's femininity was hidden away in the bathroom's cabinets, while the boys' razors, deodorants, and shaving creams laid on the counter. She didn't want her things to stick out.
The second Tabitha moved in, her shit was everywhere and it felt a bit liberating to have to kick a bra around to be able to open a door. Violette started to leave her shampoo and body wash out in the open so she didn't have to rummage through the cabinets every time she wanted to take a quick shower.
And Tabitha actually became her friend. They'd talk about anything and do stuff together without the boys and Violette never really had that with any female except for her mother.
One day Tabitha told her about her inner demons and Violette told her about hers. Tabby's life was very cruel to her, even more so than Violette's. But they were survivors and Violette couldn't help but admire Tabitha's ability to still be outgoing and talkative and fun after everything that happened to her.
And then Tabitha said that she thought she might be pregnant.
They stole Lance's jeep and drove to the next town over to buy a test. Violette waited in the car while Tabby took it in a gas station bathroom. She wasn't. Violette didn't ask her about the almost-would-be father and Tabby never told her. She didn't have too, Violette wasn't blind and lived under one roof with the two of them.
The first time it happens to her she's barely eighteen. She's just had sex for the first time close to a month ago and her period's already almost two weeks late.
It has to be a joke. Or God's punishment for taking Kurt's virginity. He was such a nice, Roman-catholic boy and now she went and sullied him with her womanly ways.
The thing is she wasn't stupid about it. They used protection, she practiced how to properly use condoms because there was no way she was trusting any virgin boy with her future no matter how much she loved him, hell she researched as much about preventing pregnancy as she could. There's no fucking way.
But then two weeks pass and her period should be there, but it's not. She tells herself it's alright and waits another few days. Still nothing. When a week passes, she starts to worry.
She can't tell Kurt about it. First of all, they never talk about her periods – not because they agreed on it, the subject just never comes up. Second, it's probably nothing. It has to be nothing.
She works up her courage for another few days. She has only one person to turn to and she's so thankful they're still there.
She knocks on Tabby's door and prays that she's alone.
The girl opens the door with a smile that disappears as soon as she sees Violette's pale face and wide eyes.
"What's up?" She asks and lets Violette in, immediately closing the door and turning the lock. "Amara won't be back for a while, she's out with Pyro."
"I'm late" There's no use sugar coating it. "Can you drive me to get a test? I don't think I'm capable of flying right now, let alone driving a vehicle."
"How late?"
"Two weeks."
"Shit" Tabby unlocks her door. "I'm gonna steal Kitty's keys, wait for me in the garage."
She does just that and Tabby runs in with the keys in her hands within seconds. Violette's stomach turns more and more with every passing mile.
Within minutes they're in Oyster Bay and Violette tires not to look into the cashier's eyes at the local pharmacy as she slides the test across the counter. Tabby drives her to the same gas station they visited over a year earlier and Violette stares dumbly at the door leading to the bathroom.
"Do you want me to come in with you?"
She looks at Tabby and still can't believe how much the younger girl has already been through. All of them had their demons and all of them had to grow up faster than non-mutant children, but Tabby still amazed her.
"No, it's fine" Violette opens the car door and slams it shut a bit too hard. She takes a deep breath and starts to make her way to the bathroom.
The door lets out a painful creak and Violette thanks God that she's alone. She locks herself up in a stall, reads the instruction, pees on the stick and prays, glancing at the clock every now and again. When the time comes she looks down at the test she balanced on the toilet paper dispenser.
Negative.
December 2004
She's nineteen and halfway through her first semester of Gender and Sexuality Studies at NYU. It's one of those majors where you're either very passionate about the subject or thought it sounded cool while picking majors. Violette's case is the latter, but she isn't complaining. It's interesting.
Kurt decided to study at Cornell, so they rarely have the chance to see each other. The fastest way to get to Ithaca for Violette is to fly coach from Newark, but it costs a ton of money and she doesn't feel like robbing the Prof of more thousands of dollars than she already is. But two weeks earlier she used up the money she saved up from her job as a barista and begged the Prof for some aid and with that money she bought herself a ticket from NYC to Ithaca and back.
They haven't seen each other for a month and it was no surprise that the first thing they did when they arrived at Kurt's flat was tearing off each other's clothes. Poor Kitty had to live through a weekend of having to hear them have sex through the thin walls separating her and Kurt's bedrooms.
Now she's running to the subway, praying that she won't be late for her morning lecture. She can see the doors of the train close as she's running down the stairs and curses, slowing down to a jog. Of course, she's going to be late.
She thinks about flying from the 175th Street to the 168th Street Station, but flying in New York is more time consuming than using the public transportation. The twists and turns she'd have to do every few blocks aren't worth it.
She rests against one of the steel beams and thinks about whether or not being late for the lecture would hinder her ability to understand it.
"Fuck it" She mumbles and starts to walk back up the stairs, ready to go back to her flat.
She's rooming with Bobby and Rogue, which is an odd combination, to say the least. They're already looking for a place for next year's New York-bound X-Men, Jubilee, Amara, and Lorna. Although Violette is pretty sure that Amara will find a place for herself and Pyro, and Jubilee and Bobby will be the ones in a new apartment, leaving Lorna to room in what was now Bobby's room. It wasn't openly discussed, but they all knew it.
Ten minutes later she's just walking through the door when she hears Rogue yelling from the bathroom.
"Violette, that you?"
"Yeah" Violette puts her keys down on the coffee table and curses Bobby for leaving a bowl of half eaten cereal on top of her essay. What a prick.
"You've got any pads or tampons with ya? We've run out."
"Yeah, wait a sec" She opens the pocket of her purse and passes one of the tampons she stores there to the pale hand sticking out of the crack in the bathroom door. "I've gotta take a shower, can you go out and get some?"
"Sure" As she walks to the door she thinks about how in the hell she didn't notice they were out. As soon as she steps onto the street it hits her.
When was the last time I had my period?
It was almost two months earlier.
Shit, shit, shit.
She picks up the tampons and pads and practically runs back. As soon as Rogue is out of the bathroom Violette takes her place, going through the cabinet under the sink. Although Remy was back in the Institute, he and Rogue saw each other every weekend and Violette already stumbled across a box of tests Rogue kept just in case. She's going to have to buy some to replace the one she was using, but it's not like Rogue was going to use them anytime soon.
She thinks about what this would mean for Kurt's education. Unlike her, he was passionate about his major, which of course was Religious Studies. How did she manage to snatch a guy like that?
They couldn't do it, she couldn't do it to him.
She paces around the room, praying that Rogue doesn't think anything of her extended stay in the bathroom. Violette looks down at the watch Remy gave her for her nineteenth and flips the test as soon as the three minutes pass. She can only see the control line.
She sighs with relief and wraps the test in toilet paper before putting it in the trash and washing her hands.
As soon as she steps out of the bathroom she sits next to Rogue on the couch and accepts the offered spoonful of vanilla ice cream.
"I hate periods" The goth takes another spoonful for herself and flips through the channels before finding a rerun of Law and Order SVU. The detectives are hunched over a body of a dead sex worker. "Gross."
"They're better than the alternative, though."
"True that sugah."
February 2009
She drops out after that first semester. She's never been one for college education and instead follows Kurt to Ithaca. After he gets his Bachelors they're back at the Institute, which by now has become an actual school with classes. Kurt gets on the main team and Violette's welcomed back to the X-Force, which by now has become a rarely-used task force. The Prof offers Kurt a teaching position as the PE coach and Violette's offered a spot as Remy's replacement. Apparently, the name of the college major she didn't finish is enough to make her a better candidate for the job of a Sex Ed teacher than the only adult willing to talk to teenagers about sex in the entire Mansion.
Two years later she's almost twenty-four and has everything she could have ever dreamed of – a steady job, a roof over her head, Kurt by her side and Jamie safe, happy and studying in New York.
Also, her period's late.
It sucks, because of that, she can't really enjoy the anniversary date Kurt has planned for them. They've already eaten at a nice, Italian restaurant and are on their way back to the Institute when this tense silence falls over them. Violette's miles away, thinking about what having a child would mean for the two of them and Kurt's also seemingly thinking hard about something. Or maybe he's mistaking the stiffness in the car for sexual tension. It happens to the best of people.
Violette walks into their en-suite the minute they're back in their room, telling Kurt she'll be back in a minute.
She has to find out now or she'll burst into tears in the middle of the night out of stress, she knows it.
She sits on the edge of the bathtub and starts to really think about it while waiting for the test to do its thing. Would it really be that bad to have a baby right now? Yeah, they weren't really married and that would be kinda bad according to his adoptive parents, but she was pretty sure they would still be fine with it. Although, maybe if they're still boyfriend and girlfriend after seven years Kurt really isn't into the thought of settling down with her.
She chased that thought away, knowing he was very serious about them. Especially lately he started to talk about their future a few years from now and that had to mean something.
She glances down at the test and feels indifferent about the result. It's not a bad thing to not be pregnant, but she decides she wouldn't mind either way.
She throws it in the trash and washes her hands before adjusting her dress. She takes a deep breath and smiles, excited for the rest of the evening.
She turns off the lights to the bathroom before opening the door and is greeted with the same level of darkness.
"Hmm, Kurt" She smirks, stepping out and closing the door behind her before reaching for the light switch. "You can't just go to sleep on me. The night's still young, mon amour."
The second the lights are on Violette's rendered speechless. Kurt's kneeling just a few feet in front of her, a small jewelry box in his hands.
October 2012
She's twenty-seven and they're a few months away from the wedding. She thinks Jamie is the one who's panicking about it the most. Kurt and the Professor are taking care of flying Kurt's parents out to the US. Since both Kurt's and Violette's closest friends are opposite to their gender, Violette gets to choose the best man and Kurt the maiden of honor. Remy spends his days giggling about the stag night, while Kitty mostly glares at Lance while leafing through napkin and cutlery choices.
The Professor has the money and wants to spend it and Violette lets them all voice their ideas, knowing that she will be happy as long as she lives through the wedding day.
Scott and Jean's twins from hell are currently running around the room while their mother sits with the rest of the volunteers, closing and stamping the envelopes of their wedding invitations. Kurt addressed his half of the invitations yesterday and now she has to give up her free time to do the same.
She's ready to call off the wedding if she has to because it's inhumane.
"I don't even know why we need half of these people here" She mumbles, addressing one to Magneto of all people. "We should've just eloped years ago."
"That would be no fun though" Kitty pouts, licking the envelope's seal. "My tongue's getting dry. What do you ladies say we open some wine?"
"Hey" Jamie protests, halfway through licking a stamp. "I'm not a lady."
"You're also banned from wine since your first off-age New Year's party" Laura snickers next to him, being the one who told everybody about the night of hardcore drinking of red wine Jamie went through just because he legally could all those years back. She, just like Logan, has a hard time getting drunk so of course, she has the best stories. "I could do with some."
"Count me out" Rogue sighs, patting her growing stomach. "Can't wait for the little rat to get out."
"How can you call your own child a rat?" Kitty chooses a fruity Rose and passes it to Jamie. "Just because you can't drink it doesn't mean I'm going to open it. You're the solo man here."
Jamie rolls his eyes and passes the bottle to Laura, who delicately stabs the cork with her extracted claw and takes it out to Kitty's horror.
"I know her father" Rogue mumbles, taking a sip of her orange juice.
The afternoon turns into an evening and Violette bids her helpers farewell while walking up the stairs and to her room. She knows Kurt will be already waiting for her, probably pacing.
After Violette completely forgot about her birth control a few weeks back, they've decided to talk about it for the first time since she started it five years earlier. After weighing the pros and cons for a few days they decided she would go off it completely and they'd see what happened.
And for a long time, nothing happened. Until two weeks ago, when her period didn't come.
As she predicted, Kurt's shuffling his feet across the carpet, wearing it down in a straight line from the door to the window. As soon as he sees here he smiles warmly, walking up to her and kissing her.
She melts into his warm embrace, moaning as his fingers work on the stiffness in her back after hunching over wedding invitations for the past four hours.
"I promise, five minutes and you'll have better reasons to moan, Liebchen" Although his accent's almost completely gone after close to thirteen years in America, she can still clearly hear it in moments like this. She shivers.
"I'll be right back" She promises, walking into their en-suite. After she's done peeing she opens the door and Kurt walks in, both of them waiting in silence as the required minutes' pass. As soon as her phone rings she reaches for the test and…
Negative.
She feels herself deflate and sighs, turning to Kurt. He gives her a sad smile and they both stare for a while at the test she tosses into the trashcan.
"It's okay" He squeezes her shoulder. "We've got time, Violette."
January 2015
She's nearing thirty and she's sobbing.
"What's wrong with me?"
Her husband wraps his arms around her as another cramp makes her sob.
"Come on, Liebchen" He sighs, standing up and picking her up bridal style. "We're going to Hank."
She tries to protest because she's a grown woman and period cramps should be nothing but these, these are different. She's in so much pain she can't walk.
She barely registers when Kurt puts her on the bed in Hank's lab. She hears them talk but the only thing she can focus on is the pain. She sees Kurt's face through her tears and protests as he gently pries her hands off her stomach. She doesn't understand what is going on.
Hank draws her blood then puts an ultrasound wand on her stomach. She gasps at the gold gel, the feeling not giving her any relief and only more discomfort.
"I'm so sorry" Hank sighs and suddenly he looks a hundred years old. He turns the screen towards them and points at a black blob in the middle of gray. "That's a gestational sac, I think at about 5 weeks."
"What?" Violette feels as if she can no longer breathe and stares at the blob.
"I'm so sorry, Violette" Hank turns off the machine and wipes her belly with a paper towel before putting his hand on her knee.
Kurt's arms are around her as soon as the machine stops and she can recognize the shaking as his silent sobs. She grips his shoulders so hard her knuckles turn white.
A few hours later her blood test confirms her worst fears. Hank's right.
A few days later she's back in his lab and the sac is nowhere to be found.
August 2020
She's thirty-two and she's still gasping for breath when she falls in love with a tiny blue boy. She feels tears running down her cheeks as he squeezes her finger, looking up at her while eating.
"I didn't think he would be this small" Kurt leans in, resting his cheek on her head. They both watch their son, whose little tail whips around in joy as he fills up his stomach.
"He looks just like you" She smiles, the three fingers squeezing her pointer a bit harder as if to confirm her statement.
"The coloring and appendages? For sure" Kurt brushes his finger across the baby's tiny cheek. "I still feel like he'll fave your features, though."
She hopes not. She's been dreaming of a little copy of her husband running around and bringing them all joy for far too long.
They've fought over the spelling of his name for hours. Kurt wanted to honor his motherland with the more German Luis, while she opted for the French Louis. Kurt won after giving her a free hand in choosing his middle name.
And thus Luis Videl Wagner was welcomed into the world. Long awaited and so, so loved.