I drink from my water bottle, feeling the cool liquid slide down my throat, as if its sole purpose were to distract me from the exhaustion and growing pins and needles in my feet.
"It's this way!"
"Pozhaluista, Fredka, you did not even check the compass. How do you know that's the right way?"
"Isn't it obvious, Ivan? I know this is right, because I'm the hero and I'm always right!"
That bigoted git is the reason for my discomfort. Luckily this is the practice hike, so we're not going to fail our Silver Duke of Edinburgh and be forced to do it again. All we'll face are the stern comments from our supervisor.
Anyway, this third and final day is only supposed to be three hours' worth of hiking. Five hours have passed, and my body is becoming increasingly unable to cope with the extra walking.
"It's this way," Yao confirms, walking along the path to the left with Francis close behind. I quickly put my rucksack back on and follow them.
"Hey, where do you guys think you're going?!" Alfred shouts.
"In the right direction," Ivan replies, joining the rest of us, as Matthew trails along behind, silently.
"Fiiiiine," Alfred moans, "just don't come crying to me when you realise how lost we are."
Suddenly, I feel a twinge in my bladder.
"Fuck!" I curse, too loudly.
"Oh my, Arthur, are you okay?" asks Francis teasingly.
Why did I get stuck with this bunch as my DofE group?
"I just tripped, git," I snap.
This could be a serious problem. There are no toilets on our route, so unless we can ignore Alfred completely and get back on track, I'm in trouble. Especially with the rate I've been drinking water thus far.
We reach a fork.
"Left!" cries Alfred.
Yao checks the compass carefully.
"Right," he concludes.
"Right," Ivan and Francis echo, the three of them heading along the right fork. Matthew follows them, quietly.
I go to follow them, but Alfred grabs my shoulder, dragging me towards him.
"You agree with me, right, Artie?" he says, grabbing onto and tugging my wrist with an excruciatingly painful grip towards the left path.
"Git! Let go of me this instant!"
I look towards the rest of the group, but they're all gone.
"It's this path, my hero instinct says so!" he proclaims, forcing me down the path.
"We...we mustn't get separated from the rest of the group!" I say, trying to be the voice of reason. My voice is slightly strained - just my bladder's reaction to the prospect of having to wait even longer.
"Nahh, they have no idea what they're doing," he replies, pulling me down the path, making my escape impossible.
He drags me past several turns, following his stupid "hero" instinct, dragging me along. All too late, I remember the technique Kiku taught me to get out of a hold.
I jab my elbow into my side and twist my forearm outwards, forcing him to let go.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"Capturing me and splitting the group in half," I mutter, crossing my arms. "We need to get back on the right path."
"Uhm, this IS the right path!"
"Bloody hell, do you even remember which paths we took?"
"It wasn't important to the hero!" he yells, fistpumping the air.
I sigh. "There's no need to be so narcissistic."
"What?"
"Nar-ciss-is-tic," I hiss. "I'm saying you're obsessed with yourself and yourself alone."
"Hey! You can't just stick that label on me because I'm always right!"
I wince. Stupid hip belt, why must you be in the perfect position to crush my bladder? Why? I pull it down slightly, which makes my bag feel heavier.
I hold my map within view in one hand and my compass in the other. I check which direction our current path, with no forks or intersections in sight, is taking.
"South-south-west," I mutter to myself. If I want to get out of this, it's best that I take initiative.
I pick out a path on the map that is most likely to be our path. Luckily, it's not far from our route.
"Left at the next fork and right at the one after that," I state to embed the directions in my mind, heading onwards.
"Wait up!" Alfred calls out.
We walk on, with me at the lead, taking the paths that I ensure are (most likely) correct, despite Alfred's protests.
It's just the two of us. Nobody else in sight. If I want to, I could confess my love and ravish him right now...
What? I can't be in love with him, that's simply ridiculous.
"I can hear the others!" he exclaims excitedly, before running off. Although he has a bag as heavy as mine, it isn't as much a burden to him as it is to me because he's athletic and maybe muscular- I don't love him I don't love him I don't love him!
I exhale heavily. This physical exertion isn't what I'm used to...
I try my best to keep up with him, but it's hopeless. I cry out for him to wait, but he's already out of sight.
Speed walking in the direction he'd previously fled, I see him returning, and my heart skips a beat. Bloody hell, I do NOT love that git!
"My bad! Just my imagination!"
"Your imagination is far too over-active," I reply, rolling my eyes. I hide my feeling of relief due to his presence.
I resume heading in the same direction, and he reluctantly follows. Perhaps he's getting bored.
"I'm boooooored!" he claims.
Yep.
"Tough luck," I reply harshly, my stride unfaltering, my need under control momentarily. Somehow.
We merge back onto the correct path, but the rest of the group are nowhere to be seen.
"Damn it," I curse. Our route took longer, so now we're a few minutes behind.
I mention this to Alfred, who suggests we simply run, but I object to it.
We continue walking along our actual route.
"Alfred?" I ask.
"Yes?"
"You know, if you want to run ahead and catch up, you can."
His face steels, an unfamiliar expression.
"I'm not leaving you, Artie. Not again."
Of course, he's not referring to when he ran off just now, but in an incident a few years ago...
"Hey!" he shouts, breaking my flashback. "We need to get moving!"
"Okay," I reply, half-heartedly, walking onwards.
The ensuing lack of conversation gives me time to think about everything and nothing.
Like how nice the weather is, and how much I need to piss. How uncharacteristically kind Alfred's being, and how much I need to piss. How beautiful that stream to our right is...
The stream trickles, assaulting my ears, teasing me. My bladder relaxes involuntarily and a drip escapes me.
"Fuck!" I curse, holding myself tightly to stop the flow. When did it begin to escalate THIS quickly?
"Are you okay, Artie?" Alfred asks, and I'm luckily turned away from him.
"Don't call me that!" I snap. "And I'm perfectly fine!"
"If you say so," he replies, shrugging. "By the way, your hip belt's not in the right place. You're making it harder for yourself."
I'm going to piss myself if I move it back, I almost reply.
"Here, let me help," he offers, his hands sliding towards the hip belt.
I blush and look away. He really can't read the atmosphere, can he?
He pushes the hip belt back up, increasing the pressure.
"Damn it," I breathe, biting my lip.
He moves away and, seeing the strain in my face, once again asks me what's wrong.
"I'm okay," I hiss, "just leave me alone."
It's too embarrassing to admit to such a need, and completely improper to relieve oneself outdoors!
But I really have to...
"Artie...do you want to take a break? I don't want you to be in pain..."
"How many bloody times must I tell you? I just want to get this over and done with!" I retort, trying to keep the way my thighs are pressed together inconspicuous. "Also, don't call me Artie!"
He shrugs and continues walking. I follow.
We step onto a road and Alfred proceeds to walk down the middle of it.
"Alfred! Keep to the side, you idiot!"
I guess he finds it a welcome contrast to the thin, muddy footpath we've been walking on.
"If you so wish, your Majesty," he remarks sarcastically, drifting over to one side.
Argh. I need to go, SO BADLY...
Suddenly, I hear a horn beeping. I look up, seeing a car approaching me.
Then, a weight - Alfred - slams into the side of me, knocking me to the ground, out of the way.
All of this shock makes me lose it. I shudder in fear, embarrassment and pleasure, all at once.
In the process, Alfred and I make awkward eye contact, and since he's on top of me after the ordeal just now...
He quickly scrambles off of me, cheeks flushed. All I can do is sit there as the liquid pools around me and he stares at me in shock.
Finally, the flow ceases after an eternity.
"Artie..." he mutters.
I sob. Why? Why me? Why now? Why in front of him? I am such a child, I couldn't even hold it...what's he going to think of me? There's no way he'll ever love me back...if I were in love with him, that is.
"Come on, get up," he says, holding out a hand.
I look up at him. He's smiling reassuringly, so I decide to take his hand.
"You know," he adds as he pulls me up to a standing position, "you could've just said."
"But that's improper!" I reply, weakly snapping at him.
"Not as 'improper' as actually wetting yourself - that's gross, dude."
"But...but you surprised me! Then you were lying on top of me as well!"
He rolls his eyes.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone."
"It's...it's bad enough that you know, though..."
"Are we getting a move on or what?" he asks.
"Uhm...w-well...okay...but isn't someone going to see me?"
"It'll be fine," he replies. I don't know why I feel so at ease, despite everything, just because he's here and the unrealistic yet reassuring statements he makes to calm me down...
Thus, we walk on, even though I'm not too comfortable in my now-cool trousers...and the smell...and how anyone would be able to notice.
Approaching the stream we saw earlier, which ends up at a lake, he suggests we take a break. I all-too-gladly comply, feeling weak after the whole event.
We walk to the lakeside and place our rucksacks on the ground. Except Alfred throws his.
Then he suddenly scoops me up.
"What the hell do you think you're doing! Put me down!" I snap, writhing in his grasp.
He carries me, bridal-style, and then throws me into the water.
"There you go! Problem solved. Nobody will notice you pissed yourself."
He grins down at me.
"I CAN'T SWIM YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" I cry out, thrashing wildly in the water.
"Fuck, sorry," he mutters, going down on one knee by the lake's edge and holding out one arm. I flail around, trying to reach it, panic and fear gripping me each time I miss and my head sinks below the water.
After what seems like an eternity of almost drowning, I manage to latch onto his arm and he pulls me out of the water.
I cough up all of the lake-water I've swallowed.
"Alfred, you stupid, stupid, STUPID GIT!" I yell, stepping forward, the muddy puddle around me squelching, and I smack him round the face.
He clutches his cheek. That slap even stung my hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in danger, I just thought..."
"It's okay," I mutter, looking at the ground as a blush crosses my face.
What is wrong with me? Slapping my crush like that...he's going to hate me now, he probably thinks I hate him!
"Really?" he asks. "Well, thanks...but you have every reason to hate me, I mean..."
I need to stop being so paranoid, I think, staring into his eyes as he lists everything he's done - if only he knew that those were reasons why I love him (his silliness is somewhat amusing). Staring into those beautiful, cerulean eyes...
"But, Alfred...I don't hate you," I mutter. "I..." the words freeze up in my throat.
He looks at me expectantly.
"I...I love you," I blurt out, instantly covering my mouth in disbelief and embarrassment. My clothes slosh uncomfortably against my skin. Ugh, they're freezing as well as soaked through.
He stares at me, stunned by my confession.
"Artie? Really? I..."
My gaze flickers up after he's been silent for a few seconds.
"I think I..."
Hopefully, I continue to focus on him. His mouth curves upwards into a smile and my arms drop to my sides.
"Hahahahaha! What were you expecting, dude? For me to be GAY?"
My eyes begin to sting, then tears flow down my cheeks. This is exactly why I didn't confess this much earlier, for the fear of rejection.
He stops laughing, seeing my face. "Artie? Oh, Artie, don't cry..."
He takes a step forwards; I take a step back.
"Hey, Artie. I-I was kidding. Sorry," he murmurs sheepishly.
I freeze for a moment in surprise, then look up at him timidly. Blinking incredulously, I shuffle slightly closer to him.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
And he kisses me on the lips. His arms drift around my back, pulling me closer in. I get braver, flicking my tongue towards his lips to encourage him to open his mouth, and he complies. Our tongues slide together as my hands slip onto his back. His hand finds its way inside my shirt...
I pull away. "Alfred...I can't, not here. This is the very height of impropriety."
"Dude, there's nobody here-"
"Back at the dorm, okay?" I suggest, smiling shyly. "Let's finish this hike first."
"Oh yeah," he replies, looking around and rubbing the back of his head, the other hand jammed in his pocket, "the hike. Our supervisor's gonna kill us."
"Sod that."
He grins. "Let's just not repeat this on the next hike."
"The part with your poor navigation, that is."
He feigns shock. "My hero instinct-"
"-is rubbish."
"Hey!"
I chuckle. "But seriously, we should get a move on."
"If we must..."
"Of course we must," I respond, rolling my eyes. "I'm not staying out here forever."
With that, we make our way back home in a relatively boring manner, with everyone else still well out of sight. And luckily, my clothes are drying and we're only around an hour away from our school. Also, Alfred hasn't forced me down any more wrong turns. Yet.
But, just to spend more time with him, I partially wish he would...