(all convo is signed only by mum and both spoken and signed by grissom)
Grissoms secret
Grissom sat on the sofa head bowed... feeling like he had never before... he hated argueing with sara and this had become a reaccouring event in their lives With sara being pregnant they found themselves arguing over such stupid things ...who would wash up or who left the tap dripping... grissom hated argueing and it made his heart sink as he knew he was as much to blame for the arguments as she was... he has hiding a secret that he could not tell anyone...
This row was different he had woken up in a bad mood and took it out on sara the moment she opened her eyes...moaning that she took the covers off him and he was cold... She had got out of bed, got dressed and stormed out... he had no idea where she was but he missed her already...
He layed on the sofa hoping he could get some sleep before she returned so he could try to resolve it before she got close to the truth he hid...
he started to drift off when he heard his laptop making noises,,, he rolled over and saw it was someone skyping him... he dropped his head,,, it was his mum... he knew he must seem cool and normal so she wouldn't know about the problems as he knew it had taken time for mum to realise what sara was like after her long disapproval...
He pressed the button to except he signed and said "Hi mum, how are you? nice suprise" he looked at her face and knew she knew what was going on...
"Gill why has ur wife just been here in a terrible state" she asked, he could sense the anger and worry, Grissom slumped his head and began
I cant help it mum" then realised he was talking to mum and needed to look at her... he looked up
"sorry mum im not myself at the moment",
mum replied "I know that whats going on? are you falling out of love with sara? she's very scared you are and that she'll be stuck with the baby on her own, shes terrified of loosing you".. grissom took a deep breath and said
"I'm lost... I dont know how to deal with all this..."
he run his hand down his face he knew he couldnt lie or hide it from mum
"I love sara more than anything, she and this baby is my life but..." before he could carry on mum looked really annoyed
"you cheated on her didnt you? Gilbert you had better not or youll have me to deal with, sara is a great woman and deserves better"
Grissoms face dropped how could mum be accusing him of this...
"god mum no, I love sara I never ever would do that...mum its just... i'm struggling with the prosepect of being a dad"
he slapped his hands over his mouthg...he shocked himself of how easily it came out... he had not told anyone and now he spilled it to his mum... she smilled at him..
"Gil this is normal.. every man goes through this, sara is scared of being a mum, but you cant let your worries and concerns push sara away from you... you need to talk to her about this, get it out in the open"
Grissom went to speak but mum jumped in
"hormones are flying with poor sara as it is so shes extra sensative to everything shes feeling fat and neglected, she needs you to be strong and honest as to whats wrong"...
Grissom knew mum was right and was very happy to know mum felt so strongly about sara as to confront him about his behaviour...
"now Gil she left me as i called you so you need to buck your ideas up and do something about this, dont say you spoke to me just keep it a surprise... you need to do something specail then make her feel like a woman again... you know what i mean"
Grissoms mouth dropped was his mum really saying what he thought she was saying...
"yes Gil take your gorgeous wife to bed and show her what she means to you, and end all this stupidness"...
Grissom knew she was right but how could mum say it...
"mum you cant tell me to do that... your my mum..." she laughed
"well someone needs to tell you, neway I had better go she'll be in soon now im seeing sara for lunch tomorrow if shes the same way she was today there will be trouble you hear me?" he nodded
"yes mum, I know what to do...so I will probably see you tomorrow, thanks for helping mum, love you"
mum replied the gesture and went off.
Right thought Grissom I have about 10 minutes till she gets back... he rushed to the bathroom, light the sented candles in there that Sara loved so much and found her faviroute smellies, he then run to his study looking through his cd collection...
he found bach exactly what he wanted, he put it in the player ion the bathroom ready for when they went in a bit later...
he made the bed and spayed some air freshner, just as he heard the door go,,,,,
his heart stopped he had to now face her after what had happened and explain himself to her... he knew the expression she would pull and how she would sound he was worried...
"Im bk... if u care"
he needed second to calm his nerve...
"Ill be out in 1 min" he called...
"whatever" she called back...
he stepped out of the bedroom and looked at her sat on the chair,,,, she never sat there grissom thought as he approached...
"hi hun, where you been?"
"why do you care? as you said this morning im a nuisance"
grissoms heart sank he had indeed said that to her...he sat on the sofa near sara
"hun i do care"
"didnt sound like it this morning when you were shouting at me, i hate being shouted at, your lucky i didnt slap you"
grissom knew he would of deserved it...
"sara, i need to tell you something..." he paused to get his confidence up...
"oww ok, ill pack now,,," she stood up, Grissom stood up and quickly grabbed her wrist he shocked himself hiow quick he was,,,
"no sara dont do that... i dont want you to leave, god no anything but that"
"then what Gil whats goin on?you've been acting so funny i hardly know you anymore, you seem a stranger to me and i hate it, i wake up next to you and wonder if your going to bite my head off or just ignore me"
her voice wavered at the end, he could hear she was near to tears... Grissom tried to pull her into hug her, sara pulled away
"i dont want to hug or hold you until in know whats goin on, I know im hormonal and have horrid mood swings but this is not just me.. its you too"
Grissom began to feel tears in his eyes,,,
"sara please sit with me... I want to tell you everything that going on with me"
she reluctantly sat down with him...
"sara, I know you've been feeling consious about yourself since you began to swell and that ive not been close to you and"
sara cut him off
"so yovue run off to that whore again behind my back to get what u needed that i... "
Her voice broke tears were followin down her cheeks...
"to get what i couldnt give you" she looked away...
"stop sara, thats not it... its nothing like that"
"then why bring up me being concious and not being close? your not making sense"
Grissom was serious now and sara knew he was by his expression
"firstly i would never EVER cheat on you, i love you with my heart, body and soul, sometimes so much that it hurts... sara... this is so hard to say..."
he took a deep breath...
"im scared about being a father" hed said it,,,, he looked away so she woiuldnt see his fear and tears,,,,
he felt her move he feared it would be away to the bedroom... leaving him alone
but it wasnt he felt her pull his shoulder back onto the sofa and she sat on his lap... he was shocked he was sure she say this... Sara put her hand on his cheek wiping away the tears...
"this has been the problem all this time?"
grissom nodded.. feeling stupid...sara laughed..he felt even more ridiculous and now sara was laughing at him...sara stopped laughing..
"hun im not laughing at you.. i promise,,, why havent you told me this before now?"
grissom sniffed
"because i felt stupid feeling this way and was scared youd think i didnt want the baby" he put his hands on her stomach... he continued "i love you and love this little person in here,,,, but im scared...scared ill make a bad dad and fail you both... ive failed you enough in the pat but this little person needs me to be strong and all that and if i can fail you..." his voice faltered he was crying again "if i can fail you i could just as easily fail them" he was sobbing and sara grabbed him in a tight embrace...
"Gil listened to me... listen hard... you have never failed me nor will you this baby... im just as scared as you are... ive never been a parent before either.. its new for us both and we need to be strong and honest with each other... we can get through this together"
Grissom wiped his face.. he knew she was right... hge felt a weight had been lifted off his shoulders he lifted his head and looked at sara... he loved her so much and couldnt be without her.. he knew this and so did she... he took a deep breath...
sara smiled "that was a big sigh hun, you feel better not thats off your chect?" he nodded and smilled...
she lent down and kissed him on the lips,,,, he melted in the kiss... it had been a long time since she had kissed him like this... she pulled away,,,,
"i love you gilbert"
"and I love you sara"
they sat there hugging for sometime, he loved being with her like this... he put both hands on her cheeks and pulled her to him, their lips joined... he deepened the kiss and sara responded.. she gripped his shoulders feeling the passion...they had not been like this for time and sara was happy that grissom was back to the way he used to be,,,, she pulled away
"umm thats more like the gil i know... the stranger has left..." she smilled... Grissom smiled back,,,
"and hes staying away,,, i promise now that i will not keep anything from you ever again... i love you"
she snuggled back into him...
"now" he suddenly said sara jumped and looked at him... wondering what he was going to do or say next...
"sara i have planned something for you,.,,, well for us...if its ok with you"
sara looked puzzled but was excited bout the prospect of something nice...he took her face i his hands,,,
"i would like to take a shower" sara looked puzzled... "with you" he added... "i know youve been concious and not wanted me to see u nsked but id like to take a shower if you feel comfortable enough, it does have reasons i promise" sara thought this over, she had been hiding from him... but he had opened up about his problem so it seemed only fair...
"ok hun lets try this out... im sure there will be room" she laughed...she stood up to let him up... as he stood he said
"wait here 1minute iove got something to do quickly... ill come back for you in 1min,,, promise,,,love you"
he kissed her and walked off to the bathroom... sara was very interested in what he was going to do in the bathroom...but she waited...
In the bathroom grissom lite the candles, put on the music... took a deep breath and loked at himself in the mirror... he smiled he felt like a new man... ready to show his lovely wife what she ment to him...he was gooing to spoil her with attention... he was feeling butterflies in his stomach.. he hadnt seen her naked in sometime and couldnt wait but still felt a little funny,,,,
he walked out into the lounge,,, sara smiled and laughed like a school girl...he took her hands... "come on sexy i have something for you..." he gave a cheeky, devilish smile... sara loved this smile it signified he was in a playfull mood... he led her to the bathroom door... "close your eyes" she trusted him more than anyone she did,,,, he opened the door and led her in,,, "open" he commanded,,, she did and she could see her candles burning giving a soft light to the room...she could hear the music playing,,, it was all romantic... she smille and leaned back and kissed him...
"its beautiful, thank you"...
"Bach is ment to be soothig music for babies and makes them intelligent... and i thought it would be nice for us"
sara smilled and kissed him,,,, he had his hands at her hips... thumbs stroaking the sides of her belly...
she slowly started undoing his shirt... pushing it off his shoulders.. he let it fall to the floor..he smilled at her,,, she smilled back the soft light lite his fantatsic body amazingly,,, she was feeling hot... she undid his trousers and let them also drop,,, he stepped out of them keeping hold of her hips,,, then boxers gone,,, oww she loved his body,,,,
standing naked he felt alive... he couldnt wait to strip sara but he was taking his time,,,,
"is it my turn now?" he whispered... she noddeed...
he slowly lifted her top over her head... her fair fell over her shoulders... she looked gorgeous...he felt his body jerk,,, she felt it to and giggled...he started kissing her neck as he undid her bra... he was trying to keep controlled and not push her to far to quickly...her perfect breasts sat on her belly...
"wow ive missed you 2" it came out before he knew it had... his hand flew over his mouth but it was too late... he felt bad...
"sorry sara... this isnt how i planned to be..." she giggled again... "dont stop... im loving this" she ment it too he could see it in her eyes...
he slowly undid her trousers and let then drop... as he reached for her knickers... there was none,,,,
"you went out without panities on?" sara laughed...
"well i was in a rush to escape so i didnt get sone for assult" she laughed and so did he,,,
He got stepped into the shower and led her in behind him... once in there was loads of room,,,, he turned on the water,,, sara screamed it was cold... they both lauged and she splashed water at him... they both smilled and knew thigs was a new start...
they took a shower grissomspent all the time washig sara and running his hands over her body,,, enjoying touching her belly,,, she smilled at him so sweetly,,, he knew he wanted to see that smile forever... after the shower grissom helped sara into his dressing gown as hers did not fit anymore... she smilled "im out with mum tomorrow so i will buy a new one then save stealing yours all the time..." she stopped giggled and said "well it means you have to walk around naked so maybe i shouldnt get a new one" both laughed... this was like how they used to be and they both loved it...
Sara led Grissom to the bedroom... he slipped in under the covers as he was naked... sara slipped out of the gown and under the sheets not to grissom,,,,
he was very happy to feel her next to him... he began to smile as she snuggled into him... flesh on flesh at last...he began to feel sleepy...
suddenly he felt sara moveon top of him... she lent down to his ear and whispered...
"this little fat lady wants some love from my rather hot husband..." he looked shocked to hear her say that... they had not made love for sometime and he was not sure how to as her belly was much bigger than it was last time...
"dont look to worried baby,,, ive looked up how to and this is the best position... so u want me too? do you sexy?" she said wigling her lower body on his slightly errected penis,,, he could not deny her ... he needed her...
he sat up to get closer to her they started kissing.. it was passionate and serious,,, the kissing became more urgent as they both begun to allow their hands to explore... he loved how her body had changed and took his time to explore as much as he could get his mouth and hands on,,,, his mouth found her breatsts and he seized one nipple in his mouth,,, she groaned out loudly this threw him over the edge he could feel himself growing harder and harder...she allowed him to do this while she wiggled around on his growing penis,,,,,
she felt bad getting all the pleasure... she leaned back and seized his balls in her hand... now he groaned out loud and called her name... she was now wiggling on his growing penis and he was growing desperate to be in her,,,, he lent into her,,, as he was bout to whisper she beat him,,,,
"i need you... inside,,, now... give it to me" he smilled... "on you get then baby"
sara eased herself onto him as she eased him in,,, both cried out calling each others names,,, They both felt overwhelmed with the sensations... it had been sometime since they had made love and this was amazing for them both...
sara got hold of the bed frame and began to ride him,,,, both breathing heavier and heavier... calling out more and more... sara started to speed up getting faster amd faster as she raced towards her climax... she knew grissom was on the same length as her... she loved being above him lik ethis,,, not just for comfort but in control... dominant over him,,,,,
sara climaxed first almost screaming his name... then grissom followed... she grabbed hold of him...
"ive missed this..." she said breathlessly...
"me too..." he replied...
she eased herself off onto the bed.. still holding onto him... they laid down together intertwinned,,, as grissom laid there he knew he never wanted to argue with her again,,, he had said such hurtfull things that morning and still felt bad for it,,,,,
he rolled over to look at sara... she had fallen asleep... she looked so angelic and at peace after so long of not being that way,,, he soon drifted off to sleep still intertwinned with her...
when he woke they were still intertwinned, he took hold of her hand looking at her wedding band, still as shiney as they day her placed it on her finger when they got married,,,, he loved her so much... slowly sara woke smilling at her husband... " i love you" she whispered... he smilled at her...
"shall we get up and eat something... are you hungry? you missed breakfast,,, it now.."
looked at the clock "its almost dinner time... shall i order something in?" sara nodded... he got up first,,, she pulled him back for a kiss... which was nice...
food ordered... both semi dressed tucked in,,,,
"gill ive been thinking" grissoms head dropped... worried
"yes hun bout what?"
"i was thinking maybe we could look into parenting classes..." she waited to see his expression,,,, it didnt change,,,
she continued "well i was thinking it may help both of us... give you other guys to talk to bout your feelings and thoughts and for us to spend time together with other couples... what you think?"
she expected a "no" or a "ill think about it".. she knew he was concious around new people of their age gap and how others may see them... she watched him for the reply..he smilled at her...
"yes i agree..."
sara coughed,,,,, "sorry babe what did you say?"
he knew she was suprised...
"i said yes i agree..." he waited for a comment from sara but she was quiet...
he continued "i think it will be good for us both as you said... ill look up local ones tomorrow when your out with mum" he smilled at her and she knew her grissom was back and ready to change for the better...
That night both slept like babies unlike recent nights where they had gone to bed and not slept or slept seperate... but now the wall had been smashed down and they were as close as they used to be...
they were both woken by someone banging on their door,,,, grissom jumped out of bed pulled on his boxers and run to the door... he looked throught the peep hole... it was mum... he stopped to think why was she here... he opened the door and mum lauhed at him...
"wny are you here?"
"do you know what time it is?"
Grissom looked at the clock on the wall... it was 1 o'clock... opps theyd over slept...
"sara hun get dressed its mum"
"what? she called.. why is she here? im meetin her at the mall at 11"
"hunny its 1 o'clock"
"oww shit tell her ill be 10 minutes"
grissom laughed... invited mum to sit on the sofa while he got decent,,,, mum was laughing,,,,
Grissom pulled on his tshirt and trousers, told sara to take her time and returned to mum...
mum was still laughing,,,,
"sara says shes sorry"
mum still laughing "its ok, so you did as i told you?" giving a cheeky smile...
grissom just laughed...
sara came out dressed in a new dress that grissom had bought her at the beginnig of her pregnancy,,, she looked stunning and he was first to say it... she smiled and appologised to mum for not meeting her...
mum laughed "its ok, im just glad your happier now... neway the shops awaite, ill see you later gil" she winked as she walked out the door...
sara came to say bye to grissom,,,,, he kissed her and said "you do look beautiful hunny have fun and ill look up parenting groups, love you"
sara smiled he was keeping to his word... "i love you too hunny, bye".
Once the door shut, grissom smilled, hed not felt this content for a while and he loved the change in them since he let his concerns out... life was good now,,,,