Well I was planning to submit this on Christmas Eve, but I and my family have been so busy this whole week. Yes, I realize it's the end of the holiday season, but I didn't want this to go to waste…
Hope you enjoyed!
"I think Santa Claus is Kira."
Light shot a look of disbelief at the insomniac detective. His plans of ignoring the older man through the holidays were disrupted by that one sentence. "Are you serious Ryuuzaki? Or are you saying that so I would give you some of my undeserved attention?"
The chocolate cupcakes on L's silver tray of confections disappeared in less than a minute. "Well Light-kun, I have gone through all the evidence in my head and I have concluded that Santa-" he paused to swallow the pastries, "-is indeed Kira." He snatched a silver bell on the table and rang it. Watari appeared from the kitchen and retrieved the silver tray, settling another tray full of donuts in front of the detective.
"Well please, oh wise and mighty Ryuuzaki, do enlighten me with your genius deductions."
Paying no mind to the younger man's obvious sarcastic tone, L simply began explaining. "Well think about it. The Kira killings have slowed down an immense amount during this week before Christmas. This must be because Santa had to prepare to deliver all the toys to the children of the world, and had no time to kill any criminals."
"There are plenty of other reasons for Kira to stop killing, other than a jolly old man being too busy with his reindeer and elves."
"Light-kun, Santa knows the names of every single boy and girl in the world. That is how he knows the names of the criminals he uses as victims. Evidence is also mentioned in a song about him. 'He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake.' It's proof right there Light-kun. He also judges people's character. Plus, he takes cookies from every house in the world." The detective glared angrily at the nearby chimney, as if trying to imagine Santa so he could shoot lasers at the man with his own owl-like eyes. "And no one, I mean no one, messes with the cookies."
"Oh no, it can't be Santa!" Light stated with mock fear. "I mean come on Ryuuzaki, he isn't even real."
L stood up furiously. "You non-believer!" he shouted, poking his pale finger deep into the teen's chest repeatedly. "This could be a chance for us to catch Kira, and you're ruining my holiday spirit with your lack of support and sarcasm!"
Light looked up at the older man skeptically. "You're the one accusing Santa, every child's number one Christmas hero I might add, of being the worst serial killer in history! And you're telling me that I'm the one without any holiday spirit?" The teen didn't care much, seeing as some of the suspicions of being Kira have been lifted off him, but still the idea itself was just ridiculous…
L plopped back down onto his swivel chair, an irritated frown on his usually cold and analytical face. He spun the chair around, brought his knees up to his chest, lowered his head, and began sulking like a kicked puppy. Light stared wordlessly as the older man brooded. For certain, he didn't want to spend his Christmas Eve watching the "I Am a Failure" L soap opera. What could he lose just going along with the detective and his ridiculous plans? Well besides his dignity…
"Ryuuzaki…" Light sighed.
"Yes…?" L whimpered, his voice barely audible.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt to see if Santa is actually Kira…" Immediately, the detective leapt out of his chair.
"I knew you would come to your senses Light-kun!" L pulled his table drawer open and grabbed the infamous, long, silver hand cuffs. To Light, the cuffs were a souvenir from the experience that he called "hell." The auburn pointed at the chain questioningly.
"You're not gonna chain us together again, are you?" he asked, though his mind already knew the dreaded answer that would come…
"Yes Light-kun, I am," the insomniac replied, closing the cuff around his own wrist. "This will ensure that you have kept your word to work with me to catch Santa, and won't flee in the midst of my plans." Light could only stare in horror when L snapped the cuff around his wrist. The cold metal chilled his arm, and the thought of being restricted once again because of this man froze him. Damn it, it was too late to back out now… "And Light-kun?"
The teen's response was to stare at him dumbly.
"Well since it's Christmas Eve, I have sent the rest of the Task Force home to spend the holiday with their families and friends. We will be working alone in the building tonight. I just thought you might want to know that."
It took almost every ounce of self control for Light not to strangle the detective with the chain. Oh the silver gleam of the handcuffs was just too tempting to ignore. "What about me and my family? I have a life outside of the Kira investigation too you know."
"Light-kun, the Kira killings have already dropped. Do you really think I would let you go home to resume your killings again?"
"I thought you suspected Santa!"
"Well Santa or not, you are still a suspect Light-kun."
"Fine, though I wonder if a sane person would actually do this. Do I really have to do this with you?"
"Yes Light-kun and it would be appreciated if you wouldn't insult me the whole time. I, the greatest detective in the world," L brought his hand 'humbly' to his chest, "have feelings too." Light managed to snarl at the older man without sounding too murderous, if that were possible. He could plainly see the victorious smirk that the detective hid behind that calm façade. 'Why that conniving son of a…'
Light began to wonder if the older man was actually planning to capture Santa, unless this was another one of his schemes to make his life hell… Yeah, that sounded about right. The detective had been planning this all along, hadn't he? By catching this so called "Kira-Santa", L was analyzing his every move and depriving the younger man of whatever pride he had left. It was a "kill two birds with one stone" situation. Damn…
"Light-kun," L piped up, interrupting the teen's killing marathon show inside his head.
"Huh?"
"We should start by decorating the main room. Santa usually visits the most joyful holiday homes first."
Where in the world did he get that information from?
Instead of uselessly protesting, Light sighed and asked, "Where are the ornaments?"
The detective threw a thick jacket over his shoulder. "We are going to purchase them."
It wasn't the strangest Light has ever seen, but the overall image was still quite bizarre. Here was L, bundled in a thick light blue jacket, a pink and orange striped scarf, light green mittens, and a white cat-like beanie hat. Even more humiliating was that the cat hat meowed whenever the button on its nose was pressed. And to top it all off, the older man was chained to him with the handcuffs in all its silver glory.
Light tried to ignore the stares of the nearby pedestrians, but he could still feel their eyes boring into the back of his head. Thank god that these people were strangers. If he ran into anyone of his college friends…let's just say there would be hell to pay. The scene would surely give his father another heart attack, and Kira cannot be blamed.
"This is a bit awkward, wouldn't you say so Light-kun?" The detective's muffled voice broke the uncomfortable silence.
Awkward was a complete understatement. This was an experience of pure torment and degradation. Any criminal would rather hang themselves than live through this.
"Is it? Funny, I haven't noticed with all the odd stares and the mothers comforting their frightened children," the auburn snapped. Stating the obvious would not uplift the situation.
"Light-kun, I am not enjoying this more than you are." Liar. He could smell that line coming. The detective was probably dying of laughter on the inside right now. He was naturally peculiar, and strange looks won't bother him as much as the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. If he wore any.
"Can we just go to the store already and get this over with?" Light had insisted they get a cab or some sort of vehicle, but the older man refused repeatedly. "It is for our safety Light-kun," was L's response.
"Patience Light-kun, we are almost there. Why don't you take your time to look around and embrace your beautiful surroundings?"
"How can you enjoy the soft falling snow and the glistening ice handcuffed to a pedophile?" Light retorted. Wait, did L just pout?
"Light-kun, can we take this seriously? Shooting insults at me won't aid our current conditions."
"Whatever, but you are paying for everything I assume?"
"Yes I am. But there is one problem Light-kun."
Light stopped walking. "Problem?"
"You see, outside here in the cold, despite all the people, they don't bother to look at my face, seeing as I am bundled up in many layers of clothing."
Where was this going? "And the problem?"
"Well Light-kun, inside the store, I would have to take all these clothes off. Everyone would be able to see my face, and as the world's greatest detective, I cannot allow that." To which the detective received a blank stare from the teen. "Ahem, well Light-kun, in order to protect my identity… I need a disguise."
"And your disguise is…?"
No.
No freaking way.
And Light thought the day couldn't be more humiliating. Oh how wrong he was.
The two had to stop by the parking lot so L could change (chain off, of course). Light watched impatiently as L dug through his backpack for the disguise.
"Okay Light-kun, I'm ready," the detective's voice rang out a few minutes later.
"Okay can we…" the auburn was cut off by the disturbing picture of Ryuuzaki…
In a panda suit.
"Light-kun, I do not find your appearance very comforting," complained the panda. As if he was one to talk. Light realized that he was staring with his mouth open.
"Ah, my bad, but Ryuuzaki…"
"Yes?"
Light smiled at the older man, albeit not friendly whatsoever. "Ryuuzaki," Light began, "when you said 'disguise', I did not expect it to be…a panda costume."
L did not appear ruffled in the slightest. "Clarify what you were expecting Light-kun."
"Well perhaps a wig, or some make-up…"
"I think this suit makes everything easier, so you might as well suck it up Light-kun," L clasped the cuffs on Light's wrist, and then struggled to put the other end on his own. "Let us proceed with the shopping."
Light, with what little dignity he had left, trudged reluctantly to the automatic doors of the store.
Okay, first part up and done. I will be typing up the second part and posting as soon as possible. Reviews would be very encouraging.
Hope everyone had a great holiday!