Author's Note: Okay, I really wanted to write something cute and happy about Seddie to let out my fangirlish (totes a word…haha…totes is a word as well…don't listen to the dictionary because it's wrong) glee over iLost My Mind. And I came up with something. So yeah. Here it is! A few weeks after iLost My Mind, assuming Sam and Freddie are still dating a few weeks after that even though it's more likely that this will end like iSaved Your Life with the couple breaking up and never being mentioned again. Which would stink. Gosh, I swear like I'm on a Seddie high. That should be a real medical term or something. Haha. :D
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Just the TV with which I watch it.
iWatch Galaxy Wars
"And now, Carly will overdramatically reenact the Battle of Panthatar from 'Galaxy Wars' silently by herself…" I began talking to the camera.
"During which Sam will rap about zebras…" Carly added.
"And then Gibby will hold the lightbulb of a lamp that's been lit for two days straight…" I smiled evilly, excited to watch Gibby's hand flesh burn.
"While Freddie shakes the camera as if there was an earthquake," Carly finished. There was a moment's pause while everyone prepared for their bits. Then Freddie signaled us and we all sprang to action. Carly pretended to fight with some red skynauts, but it looked to me like she was just spazzing out. Gibby winced as the bulb came in contact with his skin. I had written my rap before the show, just in case I wouldn't be able to come up with something off the top of my head. So I just recited the words, adding a bit of flair with my fake gangster swagger. All the while, Freddie jerked and wobbled the camera wildly. We continued for about a minute before we all abruptly stopped at Freddie's gesture and showed a thumbs-up to the viewers, grinning like Cheshire cats. The Gibby suddenly ran off screaming about his throbbing appendages, tearing his shirt off and throwing it into the air. It landed on Carly's head.
"Thanks, Gibby!" she called after him sarcastically, "Anyway, that's the end of another antidisestablishmentarian episode of iCarly!"
"So remember, kids, the best candy comes from strangers in white vans with lost puppies!" I joked.
"Sam! Don't tell them that!" Carly scolded.
"And don't forget to tell your pets that you love them, because they won't be there in the morning," I warned creepily, holding up a fake knife with ketchup smeared all over it.
"Sam! We did not agree on this closing!" Carly yelled exasperatedly.
"Bye, future hobos! Don't drink the Wahoo if you can't take the Punch!" I shouted, waving. Carly scowled at me before waving as well.
"And…we're clear!" Freddie informed us.
Woohoo!" I exclaimed.
"Sam! How dare you lead our viewers to molesters and threaten to kill animals?" Carly cried.
"Come on, Carly! You think anyone who watches iCarly doesn't know that I'm a terrible influence?"
"Well…no,"
"So it's not a big deal!"
"Okay…but if the child abduction and pet death rates rise overnight, you're gonna get…" Carly began.
"Get what?"
"It!" Carly spat, narrowing her eyes at me jokingly.
"Are you trying to scare me, Carly? Because it's not working,"
"I know," she sighed, "I don't even know why I try," Suddenly, my stomach growled.
"Sweet pile o' beets! I sure am I hungry," I remarked, changing the subject while walking toward the door, "Do you have any potatoes?" I asked Carly.
"Potatoes?" she questioned, surprised, "As in those brown spotted vegetables? As in a food that is not meat?"
"I'm in a potatoey mood today," I notified her.
"Yeah. I took her to the Steak Shack yesterday and she had fillet mignon with mashed potatoes. I think she liked the potatoes more than the meat. She ended up ordering a second plate," Freddie mentioned.
"Two orders of fillet mignon? Seems kinda expensive for a boy who only gets eight bucks a month…" Carly commented.
"We split the check," I put in.
"Aww…look at you two sharing…how cute," Carly cooed.
"Shut up!" Freddie and I both muttered.
"And now you're talking at the same time!" she teased.
"Carly…I know you're my best friend, but if you ever talk to us like that again, I will take this fist and…" I held up my balled hands.
"And what?" she challenged playfully.
"You don't even wanna know what I'll do with it!" I glared at her and she looked at me in horror before we both burst out laughing, "But seriously, I'm starving,"
"Well lucky for you, Spencer bought twenty pounds of cold mashed potatoes from Socko's brother's partner, Spud, just a few days ago," Carly told us.
"Yes!" I threw my hands in the air.
"Vamanos a la cocina!"Freddie urged as he finished shutting down his technical equipment.
"Whoo!" I opened the door and ran down the stairs two steps at a time. When we all arrived at the kitchen, we saw Gibby at the sink running his hands under some cold water and whimpering.
"You okay, Gib?" I asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"No! My hands are…"
"Whoops! Don't care," I interrupted, flicking the side of his head and heading toward the fridge.
"Can't I go through one iCarly webcast without being thoroughly embarrassed or having physical and emotional pain inflicted on me?" he inquired us all. We all thought for a second before shaking our heads, "Figures!"
"Found the potatoes!" I announced, closing the refrigerator, carrying the large container to the counter, and tearing it open, "Mmm…" I took a whiff, "It smells like…like…"
"Potatoes?" Freddie finished my sentence.
"Yeah," I agreed, grabbing a spatula and digging in.
"Aren't you gonna heat those up first?" he questioned uncertainly.
"Nah…They aren't completely frozen solid," I replied.
"Okay then,"
"Hey, Carly!" Gibby chimed in, "That was a great Nug-Nug impression during the show,"
"Thanks. I did my best. I haven't seen the movie since I was twelve, but I tried,"
"Ugh. How could you even sit through that science fiction nightmare?" I asked.
"So I'm guessing you fell asleep within the first five minutes?" she countered.
"I never even bothered attempting to watch that awful excuse for a space film," I waved my hand dismissively.
"What?" Freddie yelled in shock, dropping the glass of orange soda he poured for himself. It shattered on the ground.
"Who's gonna clean that up?" Gibby asked.
"Gibby!" we all shouted. Freddie took a second to compose himself before walking up to me, grabbing my hand, and yanking me toward the door.
"My potatoes!" I whined, reaching back for the food.
"Where are you two going?" Carly grinned suggestively.
"Quiet, Carly! This is important!" Freddie barked over his shoulder. Carly and I stared at each other in shock, before I shrugged as I was dragged out the door.
"What are you doing?" I inquired curiously. I didn't resist his grip, too surprised at and slightly proud of his sudden assertiveness. He shut the door behind us and let go of me. But then he quickly backed me up against the closed door and placed his hands on the wall on either side of me, "Whoa," was all I could muster. If it was anyone but Freddie doing this, they would be writhing on the ground in pain by now.
"I thought you always said that you hated 'Galaxy Wars'," he whispered softly, despite being in such an intimidating position.
"I do," I affirmed.
"But you've never seen it!" he furrowed his brow in confusion.
"So?"
"You can't have an opinion on a movie you've never seen!"
"Why not?"
"It's unfair judgment!"
"Why does this even matter?"
"Because Galaxy Wars is my favorite movie!"
"So?"
"So…" he thought for a second, "You're watching it," he decided, grabbing my hand again. I yanked it away. There was no way I was gonna see this train wreck of a movie.
"No! I don't want to!" I protested, taking a small step forward and giving him an intimidating look. His expression softened.
"Please," he begged, and then leaned forward until his lips were just an inch from mine, "For me?" It was hard not to make a move and kiss him, and his pleading eyes made me want to comply with him, but I snapped out of it.
"No!" I ducked under his left arm to escape him. He turned to face me.
"But you made me sit through 'The Killing War II'," he argued calmly.
"Please, that movie was awesome," I put my hands on my hips.
"I slept with the lights on that night and vomited! Twice!" he yelled.
"Fine, I'll make you a deal," I allowed.
"I'm listening," he folded his arms across his chest.
"I'll watch your little nerd movie…"
"'Galaxy Wars'," he corrected.
"Yeah. Whatever. I'll watch it if you take me to the Seattle Meat Convention this Saturday,"
"Deal," he agreed, and then walked to the door of his apartment and let me in.
"Where's your mom?" I interrogated, flopping onto the couch.
"Work," he replied, sitting down next to me.
"So we have the place to ourselves?" I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder. Maybe if I distracted him, he'd forget about the movie.
"Don't even try to seduce me, Sam. We're watching the movie whether you like it or not," he retorted seriously. I decided that I'd had enough of dominant Freddie and pushed him so that he was lying on the couch and crawled on top of him.
"I'll seduce you whenever I want," I said sweetly, then lowered my face closer to his, "Got it?" I glared threateningly.
"Yeah," Freddie murmured weakly.
"Good," I replied, getting off of him, "Now let's watch this thing before I have to take a wazz,"
"Okay," He searched for the movie in a cabinet under his TV and finally found it. He popped it into the DVD player and pressed play. The previews began.
"Make popcorn," I commanded nonchalantly.
"Why don't you…" he started. I eyed him warningly, "Fine," He got up and went to the kitchen.
"Is there any violence?" I shouted to him.
"There's the Battle of Panthatar, and that's got some action in it," he tried. Well, at least there'd be one scene I could watch without dying of boredom.
"Blood?"
"One of the main characters' legs is chopped off," he mentioned. The microwave started beeping.
"Which one?"
"I don't wanna ruin it for you," he responded, walking in with a large green bowl of popcorn.
"It doesn't matter. I'm not gonna pay attention. You might as well tell me now," I reached for the bowl, but he shifted it out of my reach.
"No popcorn unless you promise to pay attention!" he declined.
"I gotta sit here watching 'Galaxy Wars' and pay attention, too? Why don't you just rip my hair outta my head?" I groaned. Freddie's face fell.
"You really don't wanna watch this, do you?" he queried.
"Nope,"
"Well…" he sighed, pushing the popcorn in front of me, "I'm not gonna torture you like this, then. Let's go see if Gibby and Carly are still across the hall,"
"What?" I didn't understand.
"I'm not gonna force you to watch a movie you don't wanna see," He stood up and reached his hand down to help me off the couch. He smiled halfway, but he didn't seem very happy.
"Wow…that's really nice, Freddie,"
"It's not nice. It's just the right thing to do," I didn't move and he stared at me, "Well? Are you coming?" It was about time I did the right thing for once.
"No…I think I'd rather watch 'Galaxy Wars'," I stated casually.
"Huh?"
"I made you watch my movie, so I'll watch yours. Besides, I kinda want to know what all the hype is about this movie, anyway," I smiled.
"Really?" he asked excitedly.
"Uh-huh,"
"Éxito!" he shouted gladly, throwing his hands into the air, turning the lights off, and sitting back down on the couch just as the previews were ending, "Shh! It's starting!" I chuckled at his enthusiasm and grabbed a handful of popcorn, stuffing it into my mouth. I frowned.
"What's wrong with this popcorn?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" I studied one carefully.
"There aren't any kernels,"
"It's kernel-free," I raised my eyebrows, "My mom thinks I'll choke on kernels," I laughed.
"How do you take the kernels out of popcorn?"
"I don't know! Elves do it. Now be quiet! It's starting!" he declared.
The movie was…interesting. But whenever Freddie eyed me during a particularly violent, funny, or touching scene, I kept my expression unreadable. Meanwhile, he was smiling, laughing, or watching with wonder the whole time. It was just as entertaining to see his reactions as it was to see the actual film. Finally, when it was all over, Freddie turned the lights on and looked at me.
"So?" he questioned anxiously. It was honestly a good movie. The battle scenes were engaging and the plot was original. The special effects weren't that great, but it was a movie made in the 70's. I enjoyed it. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.
"It was terrible," I lied plainly. He looked at me in shock.
"…Really?" he seemed disappointed, and I felt guilty.
"Yup," I nodded.
"There wasn't one part you liked?" he asked in disbelief. I really liked the Battle of Panthatar.
"Nope,"
"Oh…well I'm sorry I wasted your time," he sighed. I bit my lip. It was hard to see him upset like this knowing it was my fault. I wasn't sure exactly why I didn't tell the truth, but I knew that I had to do it. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with me not becoming a fellow geek in his eyes.
"It wasn't a waste of time," I assured him, trying to cheer him up a little, "It was an important experience. At least now I'll know what you mean next time you and Spencer have a nerd talk about proton cruisers,"
"I guess…" he mumbled.
"And I hated it, but I can see why you would like it," I was really pushing the envelope saying that after I said the movie was terrible, but that was beginning to matter less and less every second he was discontented.
"Really?" his eyes widened.
"Yeah. It's set in a completely different world…where anything can happen. The sky's the limit…" I paused, thinking, "only it isn't, cause it's in space," I picked my words carefully so that it wouldn't sound like I didn't hate the movie.
"Yup. That's one of the many reasons why I love that movie," he nodded and grinned, "I'm glad you liked it,"
"I didn't!" I argued quickly.
"Sam, you think I can't tell when you're lying?" he smiled knowingly.
"I'm not lying!" I protested.
"Sam…"
"Okay, fine! But how'd you know?"
"Because normally when you absolutely hate something, you can't find any good in it whatsoever. Plus, if you truly thought it was terrible, you would have slept through it. But you kept your eyes open and watched the whole time," I just stared at him, "What?"
"It's just that…you pay way more attention to me than I thought you did," I explained.
"Oh…is that bad?"
"No. It's actually…really sweet," I admitted.
"Really?" he scooted closer to me and put his arm around me.
"Really," I confirmed, letting my head fall on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a moment as the credits played.
"Should we get back to Carly and Gibby? We never told them why we left. They might be worried,"
"Nah…I'm too lazy," Actually, I just wanted to be alone with Freddie for a while longer.
"Sure…that's why," he murmured sarcastically. I looked at him with wide eyes.
"You think I'm lying, don't you?" I inquired.
"Nope! I know you're lying," he retorted confidently.
"Oh, really? Because I was actually telling the truth so you better wipe that smile off your face and stop accusing me of…" I didn't get to finish talking, because Freddie silenced me with a deep kiss. He pulled away and smiled smugly at my startled but pleased expression.
"Are you sure you weren't lying?"
"Fine…I lied again," I gave in, dazed.
"That's what I thought," he smirked.
"Oh? So now that you kiss me and I can't help but tell the truth, you think you're some sort of super stud?" I raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Definitely. And especially because you lied to spend more time with me," I opened my mouth to object, but he talked before I could, "It's okay. I'd be happy to stay here with you,"
"When did you become so…self-assured?" I questioned.
"Well, when you start dating a pretty girl, it really ups your coolness," I blushed.
"Stop being so…charming," I mumbled.
"You know you love it," he poked me lightheartedly.
"Nuh-uh!" I dissented.
"Liar," he argued.
"Ugh!" I groaned.
"Okay, seriously. I'm gonna text Carly and tell her that we're okay. You know how she worries,"
"Okay," I grinned impishly, "I'm gonna look for another DVD,"
"Which one?"
"Is there a 'Galaxy Wars II'?" We both smiled.
"Wow…I think you just made me like you so much more,"
"Don't get cheesy on me," I warned.
"Sorry,"
Author's Note: Try to spot the (kinda) Kenan and Kel reference! 90's TV certainly was interesting. I wanted to post this earlier, but the internet literally stopped working. Don't call me stupid for saying that. There was no connection and I had no idea what to do. I had to install updates and it took a while. Okay…so I think that this also took way longer to write than it was worth just like my other one-shot. I've spent all day trying to write this, so you better love it! Just kidding. It's okay if you hated it. But if you actually did like it, I hope you review. Or review if you hated it. I need criticism (constructive, hopefully) to be a better writer. So yeah. Peace out, peeps! Get high on Seddie! :D