Honestly, I don't know what this is. ._. All I know is that this is my OTP and ever since I got to the Shoosh Pap scene I've been DESPERATELY wanting to create a GamKar story...so...yeah... ._.
Also, sorry about this chapter. I HATE SECOND PERSON, so therefore this is the ONLY chapter that will be written like it. The rest will be third person.
Disclaimer: I is no Hussie God...I create no HS D:
Prologue: My Life Story
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are only THREE YEARS OLD. You LOVE AQUATIC ANIMALS, preferably CRABS. Your two favorite colours are GRAY and RED. You have an extremely BAD TEMPER and you YELL ALL THE TIME. You HATE TO BE TOUCHED, unless it's from your MOTHER. You also HATE LOUD NOISES, especially THUNDERSTORMS. You HAVE NO FRIENDS, because you are only THREE and no one in your family is around your AGE. Because of your young age, you are totally UNAWARE that your PARENTS are TOO YOUNG to RAISE CHILDREN.
You are in the living room, drawing a picture of a crab, when you hear your grandmother call your name, you look up and walk in the dining room.
"I'm just thinking what's best for you and him, dear." Your grandmother says to your mother. You are old enough to know that whatever they are talking about, they don't want you to hear it, so you back away just a little bit.
"I don't need you to look out for him. I'll put him in a daycare as soon as Roy gets a job."
"And how long will that be?" your grandmother states, sounding a little irritated. "He's been saying that for the past two and a half years now. Please sweetie, your'e only seventeen. You should be focusing more on school work and getting into a nice college. What if Roy-"
"Don't even start that, mom!" your mother yells. "Roy loves me.I know we'll be together forever. He's looking for a job right now. I already told you I can handle being in school and taking care of Karkat. And things will get ten times better once Roy gets a job, and then I'll put him in a daycare"
You didn't hear your grandmother reply, just the sink running as she was probably washing dishes. You didn't understand anything, you don't even know that Roy is the name of your father. You are also confused what a "daycare" is. You decide to just shrug it off and go back to drawing your crab.
You are now FIVE YEARS OLD and still LOVE CRABS and the colours RED and GRAY. Your temper has GOTTEN WORSE ever since you began going to PRESCHOOL when you were four. You are now starting to UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR PARENTS MAY NOT BE AS HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER AS YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT. You started going to KINDERGARTEN a few months ago, and you HATE IT more than PRESCHOOL. The kids there are all LOUD and OBNOXIOUS, and many of them LAUGH AT YOU because of your EYE COLOUR; which is a DEEP AUBURN that almost LOOKS RED. You YELL AT them, but they JUST LAUGH and call you RED EYES. You only have ONE FRIEND named SOLLUX CAPTOR. When people laugh at you, you hide in a corner and CRY.
"Karkat, sweetie, what's wrong?" you don't look up at you questioning mother, just sluggily walk to your room. She comes in a couple minutes later and sits on your bed. "Please talk to me, baby. What happened?"
"I hate school!" You yell, wiping your eyes. "I don't wanna go anymore."
Your mother sighs and pets your hair. "You need to get over that, sweetie. There are really mean people in this world and no one can't do anything about it. You just have to walk away."
Your mother's advice doesn't help. No matter how much you wish you could just walk away, you can't. People are treating you horribly just because of your eye colour, and just because your temper gets so out of hand so easily. Your father is barely ever home, and when he is, he completely ignores you. Your mother looks sad all the time, but when you ask her what's wrong, she just smiles and says that it's fine. Nothing seems right.
You are SEVEN YEARS OLD and STILL HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AND ATTITUDE that you did when you were FIVE. You went to THE BEACH with your grandmother and got a little HERMIT CRAB. People still MAKE FUN OF YOUR EYES, but you have gotten SO USED TO IT, that you DON'T CARE. Ever since the first grade, you have gained TWO MORE FRIENDS, a girl named TEREZI PYROPE and a boy named JOHN EGBERT. Your PARENTS FIGHT CONSTANTLY, and from what JOHN told you about DIVORCE, you are starting to get SCARED.
Another night that you are curled up in your blankets, with a pillow covering your head. You are trying to block out your parent's screaming, which gets louder and louder by every minute. They yell about many things; money, job, school, even you. Every time you hear your name you cringe. It feels as if they are fighting because it is all your fault. You try to stretch back your memory, back to when you were just a baby, but it doesn't work. Everything that happened when you were three and younger is all a daze, and you don't remember any of it. As you hear your father scream out a line of curse words, you bury your face in the matress and cry.
"Karkat? Sweetie can you come out in the living room? Your father and I need to talk to you." You get up from your desk after feeding your pet crab and go in the living room, sitting down on the couch.
Your father sighs as your mother looks down at the ground. "Karkat...We have made a huge decision...that is going to effect the three of us; especially you." your father starts.
"...W-we decided that we're not going to live with each other anymore." you mother stutters, tearing up.
"...A divorce?" you question bluntly. Both of your parents look surprised. Your father nods
"Where did you learn that word, son?"
"J-john said...that's what happened to his parents."
"It's...It's only for the best, sweetie."
You ignore your mother and go back to your room and take the small hermit crab out of it's aquarium. You hold it gently in your hand and look out the window of the big city lights. The apartment's too small and it makes you feel cramped. But this city's too big, and it makes you feel small. You lean your head against the window and let the tears stream down your face. You can't help but to feel that this is all your fault.
You just turned TEN YEARS OLD and you DON'T feel any OLDER THAN FIVE. Your MOTHER moved to the COUNTRY SIDE OF NEW YORK and your FATHER STILL STAYED in the small apartment IN MANHATTEN. Although you are only there during the SUMMER and EVERY OTHER WEEKEND, you would prefer to live WITH YOUR MOTHER than YOUR FATHER. Speaking of which, your father is starting to drink REALLY WIERD THINGS, that SMELLS AND TASTES REPULSIVE. You HATE when he drinks it, because he ACTS COMPLETELY different. He also smokes A LOT MORE NOW, including SNORTING AN ODD POWDER UP HIS NOSE and TAKING SHOTS. You QUESTION HIM, and he merely tells you that it's ALL JUST MEDICINE.
"Where the fuck have you been?" your father screams as you enter your apartment on Sunday afternoon.
"I-I told you I was spending the weekend with John." you reply, sort of confused. He even talked to John's father about it.
"You could've motherfucking called me when you were getting home!" He was drunk, and you knew it. He never yells at you, let alone talk to you, when he's completely sober.
"I'm sorry I'll do it next time." you murmur going in your room to feed your hermit crab. Your father comes in and snatches the crab out of your hands "Your'e about to fucking start middle school in a fucking year, Karkat! Why the mother FUCK do you still have this piece of shit? It's not even a real fucking pet! It's time for you to fucking GROW UP!" he slammed the crab down on the hardwood floor and stomped on it, shattering it to piecies. "NOO!" you scream and get down on your knees, crying at the lifeless shattered hermit. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT, DAD?" you yell, and he automatically slapped your face. "DON'T YOU FUCKING YELL AT ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH! IT'S ALL YOUR MOTHER FUCKING FAULT THAT YOUR MOTHER'S GONE! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" he pulled you by your hair and began to punch you in the face. Once your nose began to stream out blood, he threw you on the floor and kicked you in the stomach.
"Your'e not going ANYWHERE for the next THREE WEEKS! And pick up your room! It's a fucking mess!" Your father screamed and slammed the door. You rolled onto your stomach and cried. Your eye hurt, and you knew that it was going to be black tomorrow. It's never gotten this bad. He's only slapped you. Your mother told you that if he ever hurts you then call her, but, you are completely terrified.
Now your are TWELVE YEARS OLD and your interests have gone up to Romantic movies, RomComs, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You also like COMPUTERS, although you are NOT EXACTLY THE BEST AT HANDLING THEM. You are in the SEVENTH GRADE, and DATING TEREZI PYROPE. However, you can't help but to NOTICE that you have FEELINGS for JOHN EGBERT. Because of middle school, your CIRCLE OF FRIENDS INCREASED, and since you DO NOT LIKE TO GO HOME because of your FATHER'S BEATINGS OVER THE SMALLEST THINGS, you and your friends usually HANG OUT ON THE STREETS.
You smile and wave to Sollux and John and give Terezi a hug as the four of you begin to walk home. The only time you feel happy is when your'e with them or any of your other friends. You try to ignore the odd feelings you have for John as you think that it's probably just some odd sign of puberty.
You merely pull your hood up and begin walking back to the apartment. Just as you enter an alley way, a group of teenagers stop you. One looks oddly familier. He sneers at you. "So your that fucking kid." he snapped.
You merely tilt your head to the side, not understanding what the hell this douchebag is talking about.
"My brother's been complainin' bout some fuckin' short pale ass red eyed freak, and I personally don't like the shit he's been telling me about you."
"Well he shouldn't fuck around me so goddamn much!" you bark, making the teenager laugh.
"Who the fuck wouldn't? Have you looked at yourself in the fucking mirror latley? Your a freak!"
Next thing you know, your on the floor, as the four high schoolers begin to gang up on you, punching you in the face and kicking your lower body. You begin to feel dizzy and light headed. The random bursts of pain stops, and you open your eyes slightly. Despite your blurred vision, you see another highschooler, pushing away the others, talking with a slurred sounding voice; but all you can really hear is "motherfuckin' ". The figure came closer, but at that moment, everything went black.
You awoke; not in an alley, not on the streets, but, in a bed. A warm, soft bed that was definately not yours. You shot straight up, and automatically felt a pain in your whole body. "Whoa motherfucker. Relax a little. Your muscles are all up and too strained to be movin' around." He looked at the odd teenager sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently pushed you down and you stared at him in agape. His eyes were so dark blue, they almost looked purple, or maybe indigo. He had a warm smile on and there were three long scratches that went down on his face. "Where am I? Wh-who are you?" you stuttered.
"I'm Gamzee Makara. You're at my motherfuckin' house, brother. I couldn't just all up and leave you in that alley." the teenager said.
"I-I'm Karkat Vantas." you murmur, "if you don't mind me asking but, what happened to your face?"
"Ehh. Just a bad car wreck when I was little. No big deal." Gamzee said, smiling. "What were you doing in that alley? Your'e all up and definately too young to be wanderin' around this motherfuckin' city."
"I was walking home FUCK! What time is it?" You ask.
"9:30. But don't worry. Your dad all up and texted you and I just said that you were at one of your friend's house."
"...which friend?"
"John. All your other friends had some wierd ass motherfuckin' names I had no idea which one was a boy or girl. And I'm guessing your old man would rather you bein all up and stayin' at a dude's house...unless your'e gay and he knows it."
You flush at the word "gay". For the past three weeks, you've been questioning your sexuality, since you've been having these odd feelings for John. Gamzee notices and chuckles. "So...you're motherfuckin' gay?"
"N-no! ...I...I dunno..."
"It's all up an' alright if you are, I won't judge a motherfucker. If you need anyone to talk to, talk to me. You're my motherfuckin' bro now." Gamzee said, with a big grin on his face.
You couldn't help but smile back.
You are FOURTEEN YEARS and you now claim that you are BISEXUAL. Your father STILL BEATS YOU, but you have gotten so used to it that you don't even care anymore. You hang out with Gamzee QUITE FREQUENTLY, and when you are at your mother's house, you TEXT HIM CONSTANTLY. Once he even SPENT THE SUMMER WITH YOU. And that was THE BEST SUMMER OF YOUR LIFE. You found out that he is TWO YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. When you have to talk to someone, Gamzee's there. You tell him EVERTHING. You tell him about your FATHER, your FEELINGS towards JOHN, and how you think that the reason why your father is a junky and your parents divorced is ALL YOUR FAULT. Unlike any of your other friends, GAMZEE LISTENS. And he doesn't JOKE ABOUT IT later on. He LISTENS and gives you LOGICAL ADVICE. You know if it WASN'T FOR GAMZEE, you'd probably be in EXTREME DEPRESSION.
Something felt completly off all day. You tapped your pencil on your desk and checked your phone. Gamzee hasn't texted you yet, and your starting to get a little worried. You haven't heard from him for three days nor seen him around; not even in school.
But besides that you haven't seen your best bro something else was off. Was it the weather? Or was it the fact that you found your father passed out in the living room with a bottle of empty vodka. You didn't know. Something wasn't right. And you were about to find out.
As soon as you walk in your house, your father strikes you hard on the face with a glass bottle. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO NOW?" you scream.
"YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE! YOUR MOTHER'S FUCKING DEAD! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! SHE FUCKING HUNG HERSELF YOU LITTLE SON OF BITCH!"
"How is it my fault?" You cry, tears automatically streaming down your face.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! BEFORE YOU WERE BORN SHE USED TO BE HAPPY! SHE USED TO BE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! THEN YOU WERE BORN AND YOU FUCKED UP HER WHOLE LIFE!"
"It's your fault for not wearing a goddamned condom you asshole!" you yell, and earned a punch in the nose for it.
"She should've gotten a god damned abortion, like I fucking told her to! We would still be together, we would've gone to college, we wouldn't have your motherfucking dumbass holding us down!" his screams got louder, his beats got more and more painful, and you finally punched him back and ran out the apartment.
"Gamzee?" You ask, going to the alley that you two always hang out at after school. He was no where in sight, you bit your lip hard and texted him.
HEY, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
No reply.
GAMZEE, SERIOUSLY. I REALLY NEED TO FUCKING TALK RIGHT NOW!
C'MON FUCKASS I REALLY NEED YOU!
whos this? my names not gamzee.
You widen your eyes. Did he get a new number and not tell you?
SORRY. WRONG NUMBER.
You put your phone back in your pocket and go to Gamzee's house. Your legs gave out as you saw the giant sign in front of the house that said: SOLD.
You put your face in your hands and screamed as loud as you could. He told you he was moving, but you didn't think it'd be so soon. He never mentioned anything about getting a new number.
You stayed there on your knees, screaming and crying your eyes out. Everything really was your fault.
You are SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, now a SENIOR. Ever since your mother's death and Gamzee's disappearence, you have been EXTREMELY AND UTTERLY DEPRESSED. You claim yourself as 100 PERCENT GAY. You STILL have FEELINGS FOR JOHN, which makes you even more depressed because he claims that he is NOT A HOMOSEXUAL. You still have the SAME FRIENDS, and gained A COUPLE MORE. But NONE OF THEM compare to the RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD WITH GAMZEE. Ever since your mother's death, your FATHER BEATS YOU even more VIOLENTLY. The only thing that you are able to do about it is RUN AWAY TO JOHN'S HOUSE and CRY IN HIS LAP.
"Why don't you just tell someone?" John asks as you lean on his shoulder, wiping your tears off on his shirt.
"I'm scared that he'll do something. I'm scared that...that he'll fucking...k-kill me..."
John sighed and pet your hair, automatically calming you down. "I miss my mom..."
"I know you do."
"I miss Gamzee..."
"Yeah I know."
The awkward tension was getting to you, so you looked up at the blue eyed boy that you've known for almost your whole fucking life. "John...I...I..." your'e stammering, mainly because you didn't think that confessing your true feelings would be this hard. Gamzee always told you to do it, but since he was gone, you didn't see the reason to. "What, Kar?" John asked.
You didn't know what to do, so you crashed your lips against his. He widened his eyes for a minute, but seemed to finally give in. After a couple of minutes he pushes you away. "K-karkat...I...I'm not a homosexual..."
"Why the fuck does it matter John? I like you...a lot..."
He didn't reply. He just looked down at the ground. "Well I mean...I never gave it a try...I do kinda sorta get jealous when I see Dave with Terezi...I...I guess I'll try it..." John murmured.
You half smiled and hugged him. He quickly kissed you on the cheek and giggled. You nuzzled your face on his shoulder and sighed contently.
You got what you wanted, but why do you still feel emptly in the inside?
You are now EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Ever since you've been dating John, life has gotten a LITTLE BETTER. But now you're about to go to COLLEGE, which means that you WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR FATHER. You are happy, you feel completely content, you're HAPPIER than you have EVER been since that SUMMER WITH GAMZEE. You had JUST GRADUATED FIVE HOURS AGO. WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Karkat: Pack up for college ====
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT SHITTY ENDING!
Don't worry, this is the ONLY chapter that is written like this. The rest is going to be third person. Also they won't be this fucking long...god my fingers hurt 0_o