Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon...it's property of Saban or Toei or whatever...if I did, Joe would have been in New York for the Digimon World Tour! ^.^
I never really expected to take Cody up on his invitation to dinner, but it had barely been a week before he called my house and asked. Of course, I accepted, but I had some reservations. I guess that I was nervous. There wasn't really any reason to be, but I'm just a nervous person.
It wasn't like I was going to a girl's house or anything. After dinner at Mimi's this should have been easy, but I couldn't seem to squelch this feeling of disquietude. I felt like I had to make a good impression since I was basically taking Cody under my wing. I've never really been a mentor or a good influence on anyone before, and by the time I reached the door of his apartment, I felt like I was the last person in the world who should be influencing a small boy.
I didn't know much about him, or his family. Cody was a quiet little boy, who kept most of his feelings to himself. He reminded me of me at that age, quiet yet full of potential that was being squashed by his own reservations. I always needed approval, and that seemed to be what Cody wanted too.
As I rang the doorbell I took a deep breath. I was trying to steady myself, but it wasn't working. I just hoped they liked me. Cody had assured me that his grandfather would, but what about his mother and father?
His mother answered the door. She smiled at me.
"You must be Joe! We've been expecting you."
I nodded.
"Come in. I was just putting dinner on the table."
"Thank you," I said.
She led me into the apartment. It was clean, neat and orderly. Everything had a place. I felt out of place.
"Hi, Joe!" Cody said, jumping up from the couch.
"Hi, Cody," I said.
"This is my grandfather," he said, motioning to the old man sitting on the couch who was obviously just that. "Grandpa, this is Joe Kido."
"I'm glad to meet you." I said, bowing respectfully.
"So you're Joe!" He said to me. "Cody's talked an awful lot about you."
"I hope it was all good, sir."
"Of course! I'm glad you've come to meet us."
"Thank you for inviting me."
Cody's mom called us in for dinner at that point. She sat at one head of the table while his grandfather sat at the other. Cody and I sat on opposite sides. I would have asked about his father, but the shrine the living room had alerted me not to ask. I was glad that I'd seen it, but saddened by it. Cody was sto;; such a little kid still. I wondered how long he had been fatherless.
I'd been worrying all day about what to say if they asked me how I'd met Cody. I couldn't say anything about the digital world of course, and they'd have no idea who Gomamon was. I'd finally decided to say through mutual friends, which was very true. I hoped they thought it common for a younger boy to befriend someone older.
Though for once my worries proved groundless and the conversation steered towards me and my interests. Cody's grandfather seemed very interested in me, and asked me lots of questions. I grew to like him during the conversation.
"You're studying to become a doctor, Joe?" He asked me.
"That's my eventual plan, sir. First I have to get through high school."
"Of course. The way Cody talked I thought you were in pre-med at least." "I know a lot about medicine. My father is a doctor, and my brother was studying to be one."
"Was?"
"He's studying folk religion or something now. It's really very interesting if you're into it. He likes it."
"What does your father think of this?"
"He doesn't think much, but he doesn't show it. He's very supportive of Jim. Besides, he still has one son who will follow him into his career."
He only nodded.
"Cody tells me that you teach him Kendo..."
We stayed on polite veins like that. Cody's mother said very little, only offering more food or something else to drink. Cody said very little for that matter. The conversation seemed to stay between me and his grandfather. I made a few attempts to engage Cody, but it always fell back to the way it started. It wasn't like I didn't like him. As Cody predicted, I liked his grandfather very much, but I felt like I was monopolizing precious dinner conversation. I felt very selfish.
I was relieved that they were not a family to linger over dessert. I was running out of polite topics. When I offered to help with the dishes, Cody's mother seemed very pleased. Cody volunteered to help too. I was glad that I was getting a chance to talk to him.
Soon, I had shed my blazer and was running warm water over the nearly clear plates. I thought that was a little odd. At my house, dinner is almost never finished. I rinsed the remains of sauce from one of the plate and handed to Cody, who put it in the dishwasher. The kid seemed to read my thoughts.
"Grandpa taught me never to waste food," he said.
"I can see that," I answered, handing him another plate.
I lowered my voice. "How are things going with the Digimon Emperor?"
"Not as well as they could. The others won't listen to me."
"I'm sorry. They should. You have very good ideas, Cody."
"Thanks." I handed him a couple of glasses, but our interchange seemed to stop there.
"Joe, did the others...did they listen to you when you were part of the group?"
"No."
He looked surprised. "But weren't you the oldest?"
"Yes."
"So you should have been the leader!"
"Do I look like a leader to you, Cody?"
"Yes! You're smart, and you think things through. You're really confident. I wish I was that way."
He hung his head, but I reached down and lifted his chin right back up. He thought that I was confident. I wish he could have seen the lanky, nerdy, approval-seeking, weak, under-confident Joe of four years before. He would have felt differently.
"What if I told you that no one has ever remarked that I was confident before?"
"No one? But..."
"No one."
"But..."
He tried to hang his head again, but I was right there. I was getting dish soap on his chin, but it didn't matter at that point.
"Listen to me, Cody. You're never going to gain confidence for yourself if you keep putting people on pedestals. They aren't meant to be there. You're supposed to be able to look them in the eye."
"I can't look anyone in the eye."
I stooped down into a crouch.
"Now you can."
"Not everyone is willing to crouch."
"Then you stand on tip-toe, or on a chair. Never underestimate yourself, Cody. You're worth a lot more than you think."
"Thanks, Joe."
"I'm always willing to dispense sage advice. What are older kids for?"
"I hope that's not all they're for." "Naw," I said, standing up and handing him the last few dishes. I then got to work on the pots. "We're good for lots of things, like reaching stuff on high shelves."
He laughed. I hadn't heard him really laugh before.
"Where did you get your confidence, Joe?"
"What confidence?" I asked. I handed him one of the pots and he went to work drying it.
"Well, you just seem to be sure of what you're doing. Like when you brought all that stuff to the Digiworld. None of us had thought of something like that before, but you knew it would work. Or when you said we were staying behind for a reason."
"Well, bringing stuff to the Digiworld came from experience."
"How's that?"
"Well, I was the one carrying around the emergency supplies from camp. And then, when we went back, I had a whole bag full of tricks."
"Oh,"
"So some of it comes with age, and the rest with learning and hanging out with the right people."
"Like you?"
"Well, sorta, but you know, Cody. Being sure of yourself and being confident are two different things. They're used interchangeably, but they're not the same."
"How's that?"
"You're going to keep asking me until I get to a point, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Well, let's see." I handed him the last pot and dried my hands. "I'm sure of myself when I know what I'm doing, because I know what I'm doing. I'm sure of the things that I'm sure about. Do you follow me?"
"I think so." "So, being sure about one thing, isn't the same as being confident about all things. I think confidence comes from being sure of yourself in everything. I'm sorry, but I don't know how to make that clearer."
"I follow you."
"Good."
He put the last pot away and the dishes were officially done. I figured that it was time for me to go.
"Thank you very much for dinner, Cody."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you came."
"I have a big tests tomorrow that I have to study for, so I'd better be going."
"You'll want to say goodbye to my grandpa."
"Of course."
He took me out into the living room. His grandfather was sitting on the couch again and his mother had taken up her spot in one of the chairs.
"Joe has to go now."
"It was very nice having you, Joe," Cody's mother said.
"Thank you again for having me."
"Of course. I hope you'll come again."
"I'm glad I got to meet you."
"I'm glad we got to meet you," Cody's grandfather said.
"Thank you."
"You'll take care of yourself. I'm sure we'll see you again. It's good for Cody."
"Thank you."
After some more goodbyes Cody led me to the door. I was putting on my shoes when he spoke.
"I told you you'd like my grandpa."
I smiled. "I did, Cody. I really did."
(Review for me, yes? You liked it, yes? No? I don't care...just tell me! You're a lovely, lovely fan if you do, even though this isn't a Mimou!)