You Want to Make a Memory
Summary – Three months ago, Yuki did something he cannot be proud of and he finally gets to see Shuichi again.
Rating: T
Disclaimer 1- Gravitation and its adorable characters belong to the brilliant Maki Murakami. I'm just borrowing them for a non-profitable moment.
Disclaimer 2- '(You Want to) Make A Memory' - Lyrics written and owned by Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora and Desmond Child.
Copywrite 2007, Universal – Polygram International Publishing, Inc.
A/N1 - '(You Want To) Make A Memory' is a fabulous song from Bon Jovi's latest album, Lost Highway, and was the inspiration for this small, tender fic. Buy it, listen to it, learn it, love it. Bon Jovi is a master musician who has my worship!
A/N2 – Please read my fic called My Lover, My Darkness, even though it is not yet completed. This is not a sequel but the timeline follows from that particular fic and some things mentioned in this fic will make more sense.
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It had been three months since Yuki had seen Shuichi. Three slow, painful and arduous months.
Yuki still does not remember much of that incident, but the vividness of the morning after will haunt him forever. To this day, Yuki still does not know her name or remember where she came from. As punishment he should remember; perhaps his brain just does not want to remember.
After a long drive home from Kyoto following a furious argument with his father, Yuki stopped by a frequented bar for a well-needed drink. That well-needed drink became several drinks and that became a blur, as did the redhead he took back to his apartment. Yuki does not even know how he got back to his apartment he was that blind drunk.
What the hell made him take a girl back to his apartment? What the hell made him think of taking a girl again? He loved Shuichi and that had been the subject of his and his father's argument. The old man still wanted Yuki to marry a girl. They had been doing so well together after that time when Shuichi had found out about his liaisons with Seguchi and Tatsuha. Perhaps this was another moment of psychological weakness. Yuki scoffed bitterly, if that was simply the case then…then what? What else could this be other than number one on the 'biggest stuff ups in history' chart?
Waking up the next morning, Yuki sat up, nursing one of his finest hangovers in a long time and saw Shuichi standing in the doorway of their bedroom. His overnight bag was still in one hand from staying at Hiro's with Suguru that night, working on some music video clip ideas. The look on his face had everything the novelist hated to see on it; hurt, sadness, despair, disappointment. With lingering, soundless tears, Shuichi lowered his shaking head and silently left the apartment, his shoulders visibly shaking. He was clearly heartbroken.
Yuki stumbled out of their bed, hurriedly throwing his robe on as he tried to rush after his lover, calling his name. By the time he reached the apartment door, Shuichi was nowhere in sight, the elevator slowly making its way down the apartment floors. Yuki, undeniably ashamed of what he had done, was watching over the walkway railing, hoping to catch a glimpse of Shuichi somewhere on the street below when the girl slipped out of the apartment, quietly apologising before she left.
Yuki still stood there watching, waiting, praying to see some sign of Shuichi, but closed his eyes sadly as he saw that girl walking away, but nothing of Shuichi. He could not think of what to do; he was begging his brain to give him an idea to stop the scene before him unfolding; chase after Shuichi, phone him, something! Yet, all he could draw were blanks. Yuki slowly turned and went back into his apartment, covering his mouth with his hand as he let his own tears fall, closing the door. What the hell has he done?
When Shuichi had not returned to their apartment the next day, Yuki had gone out in search of Shuichi and when Yuki could not find him at any of his favourite places, he did the only thing he could think of; call Tohma, who came rushing over to his side. After he had explained what happened with Shuichi, Tohma made some phone calls to try and locate him. A knock at the door revealed a furious Nakano Hiroshi, who immediately punched Yuki and made his opinion well known.
After Hiro had said his piece, Yuki enquired as to Shuichi's whereabouts and was shocked at what Hiro replied with. Scowling nastily at Yuki, Hiro told him, "Shuichi called me this morning from the airport. He was about to board a plane to London. He can hardly put two English words in one sentence, and he is running over there to deal with you cheating on him! Who knows what could happen to him over there! Once he is in that city, there will be no finding him!"
Tohma took in the information and put his hand on Yuki's heaving shoulder, "I will contact an old acquaintance of mine who knows London very well, and get him to start looking. Until then, we will have to count on Shindou-san coming back when he is ready."
Yuki couldn't deal with that, "No, it is not enough."
Tohma pleaded with Yuki, knowing that he would head for London, "He is hurt Eiri-san, and I do not think it will be easy to calm him down this time."
Hiro was leaning on a wall, "You going after him?"
"Of course I am!" Yuki snapped.
Hiro glared at the novelist, "Then I am going with you…"
Yuki cut him off, "No. Shuichi is mine. I am the one who fucked up and I am the one who is going to find him!"
Hiro continued, "And what if he bolts the moment he sees you? Seguchi-san is right! Someone else has to be there to help calm him down. Even then he would find some way to blame himself for this anyway! It has been such a long time since Shuichi came to me upset because you hurt him! I thought you finally started to care about the kid, but obviously I was wrong-"
Hiro's second tirade was stopped by a fist firmly planted in the wall next to his head. The glare coming from the novelist would make a pine tree burn to ash in a heartbeat.
Tohma jumped when Yuki punched the wall, "Eiri-san!" He quickly placed his hands on Yuki's arm to stop him from punching again and this time hitting Hiro.
Yuki spoke slowly, but dangerously, "Do not think for a moment that I never cared about Shuichi…Do not make me hurt you and give Shuichi another reason to hate me."
Dust and chunks of plaster kept falling on to Hiro's shoulder from where Yuki's fist was still imbedded in the wall. Hiro stared at Yuki for a moment before silently nodding.
Yuki pulled away and stalked into the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind him. He quickly packed a suitcase, mumbling angrily to himself about what Hiro had said. He stopped for a moment and poked his head out of the door, "And Shuichi is not a kid any more!"
Yuki slammed the door again and went back to his packing leaving a bewildered Hiro and Tohma watching after him. Tohma silently smiled at the way Yuki had just stood up for his lover. The smile did not last long as he realised this could well be their worst argument yet. Shuichi had never run away to another country before and Tohma was quickly growing very concerned about their future. He really needed to talk to Yuki before he stormed off to London.
Yuki stalked out of the bedroom and left the apartment, leaving a quiet Hiro and a protesting Tohma in his wake. Upon reaching the airport, he had a three hour wait before the next flight to London. He knew Tohma, and perhaps Hiro, would follow him so he checked his bags in and immediately went through customs to wait for the flight by the gate instead of in the public waiting area.
Yuki spent two weeks in London, searching day and most nights for any sign of Shuichi; hotels (who were either telling him the truth that they did not recognise Shuichi or could not help him due to privacy policies), tourist attractions, hospitals, even the morgues, just in case. Nothing turned up concerning his lover. If you did not want to be found in a hurry, London was the perfect place to disappear.
After a further five days, Yuki felt defeated enough to return to Japan. He held a fleeting hope that Shuichi had already returned and was waiting for him.
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Almost three months after Shuichi had left him, Yuki heard from Tohma that Shuichi had contacted him about returning to Japan and Bad Luck. Yuki's aching heart leapt at the news that Shuichi was coming back and asked Tohma to ask Shuichi to come to dinner when he arrived. Yuki was wearing his heart on his sleave waiting for Tohma to give Shuichi's answer, which thankfully was a yes and the evening was arranged. Tohma had been quite surprised at Eiri's behaviour having never seen his brother-in-law express so much emotion with his anxieties and relief laid out to bear.
Yuki will admit that he had suffered since Shuichi left and went through a rather bad patch, but he would not allow anyone to try to blame Shuichi, as Mika had. Tohma had only started siding with his wife the longer Shuichi was gone. There was a point after the return of an old nightmare where Yuki nearly caved in and called Seguchi and Tatsuha again, but that next shot of scotch caused him to pass out before he could finish dialling. He would be forever grateful of that last shot of drink. This was his fault; his moment of pathetic weakness that made Shuichi leave and no amount of coddling or pampering was going to convince him otherwise. He was the one who needed to fix what happened and not by resorting to old occurrences.
As the date of Shuichi's return quickly grew closer, Yuki started to become more and more anxious and began cleaning his life back up. He felt guilty for not keeping up Shuichi's plans for cutting back on his cigarettes and alcohol. Shuichi's pending return gave him the motivation to reduce his habits further than the point he was at when Shuichi had left. He just about had to refurnish the entire apartment to get rid of the cigarette smell stuck to the furniture. One of the few dislikes they agreed on was cigarette smell in furniture. For the first time in months, Yuki actually looked at himself in the mirror and realised just how much of a mess he looked. He started going out for daytime and night time walks, mostly for some very needed exercise and secondly to get some Vitamin D and some colour back into his skin. His hair stylist had a fit when Yuki finally went back for a haircut. He also learned never to tell a hair stylist that made Shuichi look straight on one of his 'pink days', that 'it was not that bad'.
So many ingrained rituals that Shuichi had passed onto him came flooding back, happening almost automatically and there were times where it scared Yuki to realise how much his life depended on his former lover. There were also times where he would stop and hit his head against the wall at his overexcitement, which was making him feel like a complete gushy twit. He could not concentrate on his novel and, as the most recent one did not receive the usual rave reviews, his Publishers were really hounding him to get back to his usual standard of work. Yuki would, at random intervals, re-check his cupboards to make sure he had everything he needed for the dinner and give the apartment another once-over, checking that Shuichi's belongings were still in place. He could never find the heart, or will-power for that matter, to pack Shuichi's things away. Packing his lover's belongings away meant that he would have given up all hope of Shuichi coming home and there was nothing on the planet that could convince him of doing that.
On the evening before Shuichi's flight arrived, Tohma visited and had giggled at Yuki's state of being, forcing the blushing novelist into admitting that he had missed Shuichi terribly. He could not hide that he was looking forward to Shuichi's visit. Looking forward to his visit? Hah! Yuki was visibly pining for Shuichi's return.
At 6:57pm the next evening, Yuki was making sure he had everything ready and started to serve the meal. A moment later, there was a soft knock on his door. Yuki quickly finished serving and had a final look at the table to make sure nothing was out of place before he went to the door. He started to get cold feet as he walked to the door thinking, 'What the hell do I say to him?'
Hello again, it's you and me.
Kinda always like it used to be.
Sippin' wine, killin' time,
Trying to solve life's mysteries.
Yuki took a deep breath and steeled himself as his visitor knocked a second time. Yuki was a little shocked at Shuichi's altered appearance, but then again, he did not know what he had expected to see in the first place. Shuichi gave a small smile and stepped over the threshold, "Evening, Eiri. Thank you for inviting me."
Yuki silently nodded as he took in Shuichi's differently coloured hair. He had returned to his traditional black hair but had blonde and purple streaks through it. The purple made his eyes stand out remarkably and he looked good. Shuichi's usual casual and somewhat excentric attire had been swapped for black slacks and a sleeveless black button shirt with a white collar and cuffs, setting off the blonde streaks.
As Shuichi handed his coat over, Yuki tilted his head to the side, "You have grown…?"
Shuichi flashed a brilliant, yet sheepish smile, "I wish," and he lifted a leg of his pants, revealing his secret, "I could never part with them."
Yuki could not help but laugh as he saw the black platform boots with the silver buckles that Shuichi used to wear on stage and he followed Shuichi into the kitchen where their dinner was waiting. He was somewhat disappointed that Shuichi did not jump into his arms the moment he opened the door, but if Shuichi was not ready or even willing to do that, Yuki would not force him. After all it must have been a miracle worker who had gotten Shuichi to agree to seeing him again in the first place.
Shuichi took a seat and inspected the foods on the table, waiting for Yuki to sit down before commenting, "This looks fabulous, Eiri, even though all of your cooking is fabulous."
Eiri gave Shuichi a small smile before picking up his chopsticks and digging into the rice, miso soup and katsuo teriyaki, Shuichi doing the same with, "Yay! Japanese food!"
How's your life? It's been a while.
God it's good to see you smile.
I see you reaching for your keys,
Looking for a reason not to leave.
There was a thick silence while they began their meal before Yuki broke it, "So, what have you been up to in London?"
Shuichi smiled as he finished his miso soup and went for the rice and the teriyaki, "Mainly sightseeing to be honest. The first week there was tough not knowing much of the language or my way around, but once I met up with Edward, things improved immensely."
A sharp flash of jealousy went through Yuki's body when Shuichi mentioned another man, "Edward?"
Shuichi smiled inwardly at Yuki's failed attempt to hide his jealous curiosity and quickly elaborated before Yuki jumped to the wrong conclusions, "Yeah. I stayed in the Embassy Hotel for a little over a week and he worked as a Concierge there. After a couple of days, I found out that he was their Japanese liaison, only that he was not rostered on at the beginning of my stay. It was cool that he knew who I was too and he offered to show me around London. By the following week I had accepted his and his sister's offer to stay with them."
Eiri looked up sharply from his dinner. Those bastards! The Embassy Hotel had been one of the first few hotels he had searched in. He had been in the same hotel as Shuichi only days after that incident and they would not tell him anything because of their own privacy rules. Yuki's blood was starting to simmer with the thought that he could have had Shuichi back months ago…and who the hell is this Edward guy!?
Shuichi took a drink from his glass of water before continuing, "Kelly was so cool, she taught me a lot of English. I think I learned more about speaking the language being in England for three months than I did in all those years at school!"
Yuki nodded, "Not that you paid much attention at school anyway, but being surrounded by a language is the best way to pick it up. There is a lot that a classroom cannot teach about a language."
Shuichi poked his tongue out before he gave a bright smile, "She also taught me how to cook some pasta dishes and I found out that you can have almost anything with pasta so Kelly let me try out some different things, I became pretty good at it!"
Yuki looked at Shuichi a little surprised, "No burned kitchens?"
Shuichi shook his head and continued eating, "Not one…okay, almost one…but that was averted! Although I was never confident with meat so I pretty much cooked vegetarian meals. I have started drinking wines too. Edward's girlfriend Melissa taught me how to select the right wines to go with my cooking. She was from Australia and used to go wine tasting a lot there…"
Yuki relaxed a little hearing that this Edward guy was straight.
"Unfortunately she and Edward broke up and Edward got a little depressed and introduced me to fish and chips 'the proper way', as he called it. At first I was horrified to see all those greasy chips doused in vinegar and salt in that paper bag, I thought I was going to vomit just thinking about it, but he managed to force one down me and after I got used to the vinegar," Shuichi pulled a sour face, sticking his tongue out to imitate the vinegar's tanginess, "they were pretty damn good. English cuisine is so unhealthy at times, but it is so yummy! I put on a little bit of weight, though it encouraged me to do some muscle work at the gym instead of just running around the block…not that I mind the result, I quite like having some muscle on my arms," Shuichi turned his head to look at his toned arm, which showed evidence of steady workout, no longer looking like it was just skin and bone, "Hehe, check out my guns!" Shuichi performed a curl to show off his defined bicep. When Shuichi looked up, he saw that Yuki was staring at him, "What?"
Yuki blinked out of his reverie, "When did you get that?"
Shuichi just looked at Yuki, "When did I get what?" and then it dawned on him, "Oh! My tongue piercing!" Shuichi poked his tongue out again to show off his tongue stud, "About a week after I started living with Edward and Kelly. Kelly has one and she convinced me to do it, and by hell did it hurt."
Yuki had started at his rice, "I can just imagine you wailing the place down."
Shuichi scoffed lightly, "Pretty much, but I did not yell half as much as I did when I got my tattoo."
Yuki choked on several grains of rice and had to cough violently to dislodge them. After taking a drink, he looked incredulously at the smirking singer before him, "You have a tattoo as well?"
Shuichi giggled at Yuki's reaction, "Yep, on my shoulder blade. It is just a simple black phoenix, but it still took three hours. I was cursing Edward like mad for the next two weeks until the skin healed. I swore I would never go through that again, but I keep seeing awesome symbols and images that would make great tattoos and I keep finding places to put them. I have not gotten another one yet, but the idea has not been completely ruled out."
Yuki simply gawked at his former lover before joking, "Well then, London has certainly had a bad influence on you; piercings, tattoos, cooking, alcohol. You used to be so innocent Shuichi."
Shuichi laughed, "All my innocence flew out the window when I met you."
Yuki had to grin at that, and when he looked up again, he saw how much Shuichi had matured. Yuki was aching to have Shuichi back, but the changes he was witnessing in Shuichi held him back. Perhaps Shuichi had grown out of him; his time in London had certainly proved that Shuichi could stand on his own two feet. With his heart sinking, Yuki tentatively held on to the fact that Shuichi was here in front of him and that maybe there was still a chance to win him back. Although one thing had not changed in Shuichi; his ability to talk and Yuki was happy to hear it.
If you don't know if you should stay,
If you don't say what's on your mind,
Baby just breathe.
There's no where else tonight we should be.
You want to make a memory.
After quickly clearing the dishes, Yuki led Shuichi into the living room and took his seat on the lounge against the wall that faced the television, not that he ever had the idiot box on. Shuichi's backside had hardly touched the other lounge suite when his mobile phone began to ring. Yuki had to raise an eyebrow at the ring tone, one he had to admit he easily recognised as a Kylie Minogue classic, 'Now when did that happen?' he asked himself.
Shuichi jumped back up and answered the phone, leaving the room for the hallway, "Moshi moshi! Oh, hi Edward! Yes, I made it safely, thank you for asking. Sorry that I have not been able to email you; I have not even looked at a computer yet…huh? Right now? I am having dinner with Eiri. Yes…"
Yuki heard Shuichi pause and a frown enter his voice, "Yes, that Eiri…Oh Edward, stop it. Ed, we discussed this all before I left, you know why. Exactly, alright? Good. I have to go now so I will catch you on MSN in the next couple of days…ish. Hah-dee-hah-hah and an 'oh shut up' to go with it! Bye! Thank you for calling!"
Shuichi returned to the living room and took a seat on the lounge facing the window, but taking the edge closest to where Yuki was sitting.
"Edward?" Yuki asked.
Shuichi gave a small smile, "Yep, just asking if I made it back alright because I have not emailed him yet."
Yuki nodded and took a drink from his beer can.
I dug up this old photograph.
Look at all the care we had. *
It's bittersweet to hear you laugh,
Your phone is ringing, I don't want to ask.
Shuichi felt the tension in the room. There was absolutely no possible way Yuki had misunderstood what Edward was saying on the other end of the phone line when Shuichi told him that they were together at that moment. Shuichi continued to smile and began their conversation again, "Oh, you know how I said he made me eat fish and chips when he and Melissa broke up?"
Yuki just looked at him waiting for him to continue.
"Edward also took me to this city called Blackpool and it is so damn windy! I thought I was going to get taken away by the wind!"
Yuki had picked up his beer can relaxing back into the lounge with it in his hand.
"While we were there, we went into the Blackpool Tower and there is a game arcade and an interactive tourist ride and there was a dinosaur part…and you know how frightened I was watching Jurassic Park! There was one of those little tyrannosauruses…you know, like the one that bursts through that console and run heaps fast and completely devoured that poor cow?"
Yuki took another sip, "The raptors."
"Yeah those! It came up to the car and the car totally shook and I screamed so loud!"
Yuki smiled as he looked down at his beer can. Only Shuichi could be petrified watching Jurassic Park but totally unaffected while watching Stephen King movies.
Shuichi poked his tongue out at the novelist, "Stop laughing at me Yuki! Anyway…after that we walked up to this place called the Pleasure Beach…"
That made Yuki pause and he looked up.
"…which is a theme park with heaps of rides and side shows and games and stuff! It was so cool! We have to go back there!" Shuichi wondered if Yuki would pick up on that.
Yuki had in fact noticed Shuichi saying 'we' instead of 'I' and his dwindling hope restored itself a little.
"The rides were amazing! One of them was called the Ice Blast, and it is this tall tower with a car around the tower with four seats on each side. You were harnessed in the seat and you are waiting and waiting for what is coming, because you know what is going to happen, just not when. One of the ride operators kept trying to talk to me, trying to get me to loosen up and relax…I had such I tight grip on the harness my knuckles were turning white…he disappeared while the recording played and I turned to speak to Edward and then BANG! The thing shoots up the tower at a ridiculous speed!"
Yuki was watching Shuichi amusedly as Shuichi demonstrated his experience so animatedly, his arms and hands going in all kinds of directions.
"And when we got to the top, I completely freaked out! You know how small I am, right, well the harness did not exactly come down onto my shoulders, there was about an inch or so of space between it and me so I lifted out of my chair…oh wow Yuki! I have never been so freaked out before! Mind you, the photo they took of us at launch was so unflattering!" Shuichi sat back in his seat.
Yuki was giving him an incredulous look, "You lifted out of your seat?"
Shuichi nodded, "Yep…imagine how much I loved that harness. It was the only thing keeping me from, like a hundred meter flight."
"Damn!" Yuki commented, silently thankful for sturdy harnesses.
Shuichi grinned, "It was awesome though! We went on it five times!"
Yuki scoffed and rolled his eyes, "That would be right."
Shuichi sat forward again, "But my favourite ride was the rollercoaster, The Big One, which was sponsored by Pepsi. It took around forever to get up to the top. I was sitting on the left and Edward was on the right. When it gets to the top, it does not just go over and straight down again…it turns and takes a straight dive. Edward was carrying on after about looking down at that point and seeing just the ground…I on the other hand had nothing but ocean in my vision and I was heading towards it! It is a great ride though and really long too. It was completely worth it all!"
When Shuichi relaxed back against the lounge, recovering from his over-excited speech, Yuki looked up at him, his mask in place but sad on the inside, "It sounds like you had a great time over in England."
If you go now, I'll understand,
If you stay, hey I got a plan.
You want to make a memory.
Shuichi knew Yuki's masks all too well, "It still would have been better if you were there too."
"I was there!" Yuki bit back. He forced himself to calm down, "At least for a little while. I searched for you in London for three weeks. You certainly made it hard to find you. I looked everywhere."
Shuichi had his head down slightly, "Well, for a while I really did not want to be found Eiri. Not by you, not by Hiro and certainly not by K…Coming home to that was…was really awful Eiri and hurt so much! All I could think of doing was running."
"So you ran to London?" Yuki asked him incredulously and shifted forward to the edge of the lounge, "Shuichi, that place is massive. There are so many streets and side streets and dark alleyways…so many bad things happen to people in London…anything could have happened to you! Not only that, but I do not need to point out that you did not speak the language."
Shuichi scowled lightly at being lectured, "Why can't I run off somewhere far away? Why should I always be expected to obediently wait around the corner? Why can't I have a moment of craziness and run away for myself for once? You had a girl in our bed, Eiri…our bed, and naked and all sexed up! You were not exactly the innocent party in all of this Eiri!"
Yuki stood up and walked into the middle of the room, "I know that! I am not going to justify what I did with excuses Shuichi; there would be no point if I did. The fact is I still slept with that woman, I still hurt you and I am so sorry! Damn it, Shuichi, all I want is for you to come home!"
You want to steal a piece of time.
You can sing the melody to me,
And I could write a couple lines,
You want to make a memory.
'Finally', Shuichi thought to himself.
Shuichi stood and followed Yuki to the middle of the room. He stopped in front of Yuki and brought his fingertips to Yuki's cheek, watching the flurry of emotions swirling in his eyes. Yuki did not move while Shuichi approached and stood in front of him. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was sure Shuichi would be able to hear the heartbeats if he listened for them.
Shuichi shifted his gaze to follow his hand up to stroke Yuki's soft bangs to the side, "Eiri, I was wrong when I said that you cheating on me with a stranger would hurt less than you sleeping with Seguchi-san and Tatsuha-san…It hurt all the same…"
Yuki could feel tears building up in the corner of his eyes, "Shu-Shuichi, I wish I could be as faithful as you are to me…I really do…I try to be! But then I do such stupid things and hurt you…"
Shuichi caught a tear as it slid down Yuki's cheek. He looked back to Yuki's eyes before pulling his lover into a kiss. Shuichi's lips had hardly touched his before he wrapped his arms around Shuichi and pulled him up against his body, taking control of their deep and needy kiss. Shuichi's boots had reduced their usual eight inch difference in height and made it a little awkward to hold and dominate Shuichi's body than Yuki was used to.
If you don't know if you should stay,
If you don't say what's on your mind,
After several moments of devouring Yuki's mouth, Shuichi pulled out of the kiss and hugged Yuki again, resting his chin on Yuki's shoulder, "I am sorry it took me so long to come home…but I was not ready yet, Eiri. I wanted to, and tried so many times to come back earlier…"
Yuki clutched Shuichi to him, wanting never to let go again and buried his face in Shuichi's neck and shoulder, "Don't be Shuichi! It was my fault…you are home and that is all that matters."
Baby just breathe.
There's no where else tonight we should be, we should be.
Shuichi pulled back, taking hold of Yuki's hand and led him back to the lounge, sitting together and curled up facing him, leaning comfortably against Yuki's chest. The moment felt like heaven to them both. Having been apart for so long, the simplest thing of lying together became an indulgence, neither wanting to move.
After a little while of tranquil silence, Yuki looked up, unable to meet Shuichi's eyes as he spoke, "I nearly went back to them, Shuichi."
Shuichi knew exactly what Yuki had meant, "You did not, though, did you?" he asked softly.
Yuki shook his head, "No. I was too drunk and passed out. I do not know what would have happened if I had not taken that last shot," he admitted, "I never want to go back to that, Shuichi."
Shuichi took hold of Yuki's hand and kissed it, "I know, and you will not go back, not now and not ever. Even while I was away, I believed in you enough not to go back to that. It was not all fun and games for me in England either, I had my fair share of angry and depressive episodes and Edward took the full brunt of it to the point that I thought he was going to ask me to leave."
Shuichi's hold on Yuki's fingers lingered.
Yuki looked at their joined hands and only then noticed that Shuichi was also still wearing his ring on his middle finger. Yuki figured that he had not woken up to it before because he was so accustomed to seeing Shuichi wear it, but only now did Yuki grasp its meaning tonight.
Shuichi saw that Yuki was looking at his ring, almost surprised to see it still there. Shuichi smiled and lifted his hands to cup both of Yuki's cheeks, looking directly into his eyes, "I have never taken it off."
Yuki's eyes hardened determinedly and he shot his hands out to Shuichi's hips and pulled the smiling singer onto his lap, already ravaging his lost lover's mouth. Yuki wanted his hands to be everywhere touching every part of Shuichi's body at the same time.
Shuichi threw his arms around Yuki's shoulders and drew their bodies as tight as they could be. Shuichi straddled Yuki and plunged his heart and soul into their kiss. Shuichi moaned into the kiss; Yuki still tasted the same, like his menthol cigarettes, himself and addictive.
You want to make a memory.
You want to steal a piece of time.
You can sing the melody to me,
And I could write a couple lines.
Yuki held Shuichi to him as close as he could, whispering, "I missed you Shuichi."
Shuichi smiled as he softly rubbed his cheek against Yuki's, "I missed you too…I love you so much, Eiri!"
Yuki pulled back slightly to ghost Shuichi's ear, "I have always loved you, Shuichi."
A bright smile lit up Shuichi's face before a pleasurable shudder went through his body as Yuki kissed his ear, causing him to gasp. Yuki slid his hands around Shuichi's body so he could stand and carry the still lithe younger man to the bedroom. Shuichi's body had changed while he was away, becoming more muscular and toned, and Yuki wanted to take his time relearning every single inch.
Even though Shuichi had been awake for over 24 hours, he thought he could put that aside quite easily when Yuki picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. Shuichi went about nibbling Yuki's sensitive ears, the novelist stopping to lean against the doorframe for support as Shuichi trailed his tongue ring through and over the lobe. Shuichi smirked to himself knowing that his little addition was going to bring them lots of good times. Shuichi replaced his tongue ring with his lips, suckling the lobe into his mouth.
Gaining some self-control back, Yuki lifted himself from the doorframe, lover in his arms and found his way to the bed, dropping Shuichi before him and quickly climbing over Shuichi. Shuichi lifted his head up to capture Yuki's lips in a chaste kiss. Yuki deepened the kiss instantly, his arms wrapped tightly around Shuichi.
Regrettably, Shuichi's hindsight had been blinded by his lust and the instant he felt the mattress, his tired body felt heavier. Hot flushes and tingles aside, all he wanted to do at that moment was be there next to his lover. Shuichi stopped Yuki's hands from getting too adventurous, earning a trademark scowl for his actions.
Shuichi giggled before kissing Yuki on the lips again, "Tonight, I think I just want to lay here with you and kiss you to all hell."
Yuki lowered his head and smiled before nuzzling Shuichi's neck, "I do not think I can control myself that long." Yuki bit down on the revealed junction of Shuichi's shoulder and neck causing Shuichi to cry out in a sharp moan. Shuichi's eyes were starting to glaze over as he pulled Yuki into another long kiss, entwining their legs and rubbing them softly together.
However, Shuichi's tiredness was catching up with him too quickly, "Ne, Eiri," Shuichi began as he gasped Yuki's name at the ministrations on the hollow of his neck, "As wonderful as this…feels…if we continue any further, I will fall asleep on you."
Yuki stopped his suckling of Shuichi's throat to look up at his younger lover and saw the fatigue in Shuichi's eyes behind that small, energy-less smile.
Shuichi continued, "My flight left Heathrow at 10:30pm last night, I have not gotten any sleep since 7:00am that London morning. I am completely wiped out." Shuichi finished his small speech with a deep yawn, "We can have continuous rounds of hot make-up sex tomorrow."
Yuki laughed and placed a sweet kiss on Shuichi's lips before leaving the bed, "Alright, I will be right back."
Shuichi waved Yuki off the bed, failing to stifle another yawn and settled himself to wait for Yuki's return.
Yuki went around the apartment closing the windows and curtains to the unoccupied rooms and checking the front and balcony doors, also taking the phone off the hook. When he returned to the bedroom, Shuichi had fallen asleep. Yuki went about removing Shuichi's shirt and boots, also thinking to gently remove the belt around his waist; neither of them needed the buckle digging into their bodies in the middle of the night, also noting that his lover was indeed exhausted enough to fall asleep still semi-excited.
After quickly changing into a pair of track pants, Yuki slipped the covers out from under Shuichi, slid back onto the bed and arranged his returned lover into his arms. Shuichi groggily slipped out of his sleep to sink himself comfortably in Yuki's arms. As Yuki settled himself down, he caught a glimpse of Shuichi's tattoo on his shoulder blade. Shuichi had already drifted back into an almost comatose sleep and he shifted the younger man slightly to get a good look at it. As Shuichi had said earlier, it was a simple black phoenix with a little more detail to the tail. In amongst the flaming tail was 'Uesugi Eiri', leaving the novelist absolutely stunned.
You want to make a memory.
For Yuki, this whole night had turned completely dreamlike. Shuichi was back in his arms and he felt as if the trials of the last few months had been washed away. He realised that Shuichi would never leave him, not permanently. If their relationship had ever drifted onto the rocks, all they needed was time to settle down and they could be happy once more. But why? Why does Shuichi forgive him all the time? How does unconditional love exist? Even with Shuichi as a perfect example, the answer still eluded the esteemed romance novelist.
And what about Yuki? Does he love Shuichi unconditionally as well? Yuki figured that he had to. After all the times that Yuki had kicked Shuichi out in the past, their many arguments and the insults, Yuki's love for his little baka never changed. Even the time that Shuichi had lost his novel work, Yuki had forgiven Shuichi and they continued with their lives. For that reason, it could be said that Yuki was the same as Shuichi, completely and unconditionally in love, although, Shuichi had never quite ripped Yuki's heart out the way Yuki had Shuichi's. This is the way love should be, unconditional and never waiving no matter what happens. Being in love should mean that you could forgive, work it through and move on together.
Nevertheless, Yuki did not want them to end up like this ever again. He was aware that his past still caused them troubles but Shuichi was still always there for him. Yuki took Shuichi's hand and looked at the ring. After a moment had passed, Yuki slipped the ring off Shuichi's middle finger and placed it on his ring finger, where it belonged. Yuki shifted further into the bed so he could clutch Shuichi to him. With Shuichi by his side, Yuki's shattered world was becoming whole again piece by piece, and together they will continue to reshape their world, one memory at a time.
You want to make a memory.
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Wow, I am really happy with that fic, it has taken me MONTHS to write it to perfection. There have been countless little tweaks and twists and alterations and new paragraphs and rearrangements. You can write as many comedy and happy-heartfelt stories about Shuichi and Yuki's relationship as you want, but Yuki is still Yuki and he still does make mistakes. Poor guy, he'll get there, Shuichi will help him!
Please, review! Reviews make me happy! And make me write more fics! XD
* The original line of this song is 'Look at all that hair we had', which I altered in order to fit the story. Those TWO SINGLE WORDS were all that didn't fit in this song fic so I changed them. Please forgive me! But I do implore you to check this song out, it is so realistic and true to life and you'll see how this amazing song inspired me to write this fic.
And yes, for those of you who've asked while reading this, Shuichi really is only eight inches shorter than Yuki, he just tends to be shrinking in the manga for some unknown reason…many of us Grav readers have noticed this and are starting to raise WTF questions.
Maki-sama, all my love and devotion to you!
Thank you for reading!
Luv to you all!
KittenCeez!
Xxx