Chapter 1, Equals?
Merlin stood outside Arthur's door deciding if it was wise to disturb the King, today was supposed to be his wedding to Gwen, but she was gone and who knew what kind of mood that would leave Arthur in. Deciding to be cautious Merlin knocked on the door, he waited a moment before poking his head in, his eyes scanning for his master. There, by the window was Arthur seemingly lost in thought. Merlin closed the door behind him and walked over to the King's side. "Arthur?" He spoke breaking the man out of his thought. Arthur shut his teary eyes pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to hide the moisture but Merlin had seen it.
"Merlin, did I not tell you to knock before entering my chambers?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at the man, a habit he picked up from Gaius.
"I… Did knock sire..." He said it slowly, worried that Arthur would be easily offended in his emotional state.
Arthur paused looking away from Merlin for a moment before nodding. "Yes, good." Arthur turned away from the man with a sigh. "You may go." He said with a wave of his hand.
"Arthur?"
"Your services are not required for the remainder of the night." Merlin took a step closer to the other man eying him with concern.
"Arthur... are you sure..." Arthur's head snapped around to face Merlin eyes blazing with hurt.
"No! I have made my decision! Now leave it be!" Merlin wasn't surprised that Arthur knew he was about to ask about Gwen again, but it pained him to see the King in such despair, he preferred the smile Gwen had brought him.
"We're alone Arthur, you don't need to keep up appearances with me." Merlin carefully placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, the man tensed under the touch but did not move away. "I don't think you should be alone right now." He moved closer resting his arms around the blonds shoulders in an attempt to comfort him in his grief. Arthur did not push Merlin away, the other man was right, he didn't want to be alone but he also didn't want anyone to see the pain in his eyes or the tears on his face. So he allowed Merlin to hold him from behind, where he could be comforting but could not see the true hurt the events with Guinevere had caused him. They stayed that way for a long while before Merlin realized that Arthur was shaking, the hour was late so he carefully led the man over to his bed. Merlin assisted Arthur in undressing, careful that his hands didn't linger on any skin contact as he went. Once down to his tights Merlin turned away as Arthur finished changing into his night pants, he moved to leave for the night.
"Merlin..." It was a whisper, but the raven haired man heard it. He turned back to Arthur, clad in only his pants he stood by his bed, shaking. "Stay..." Another whisper.
"Sire-"
"Please?" Merlin stopped. Arthur rarely said please, and never in such a gentle questioning way, not once in the many years he knew the man had he ever said please without sarcasm. Merlin bit his lip unsure what to do. He knew he shouldn't stay, Merlin had strict rules about his relationship with Arthur, not because he was a servant but because some things were just to painful for him. He loved Arthur, but even if by some miracle those feelings were returned he knew they could never be together, Arthur was King, he would need an heir and it simply would not be acceptable. So Merlin was always careful to keep some things off limits, like being in Arthur's presence overnight. Merlin finally looked up meeting Arthur's gaze, the King's eyes were full of the pain the man refused to let anyone know he was feeling, his cheeks were wet with an endless slow stream of tears. With a heavy sigh Merlin knew he couldn't say no. He made his way back over as Arthur climbed into his bed. The warlock took a seat on the edge of the bed next to the blond, he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and watched Arthur's eyes close. He would stay until the King was asleep and then he would take his leave.
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Small rays of sunshine peaked through thick red curtains landing on Arthur's face, he felt reality wrapping around him and bringing him back from the blissful world of dreams. He sighed as he adjusted himself in his comfortable bed only to find his movement was being disrupted by a weight on his waist. The King's eyes opened as his head snapped to his left where a fully clothed Merlin was fast asleep, an arm slung over Arthur in almost a protective manor. That's when it dawned on Arthur, his servant had stayed with him all through the night, the thought warmed his pained heart just a little, after everything Arthur always puts the other man through, Merlin was still a loyal friend who worried over the King's well being. Despite this affection he found himself feeling Arthur knew he couldn't allow it to continue, even if the black haired man was fully clothed it was still likely that anyone who might enter the King's room would get the wrong idea as to why Merlin was sleeping there. With that thought, Arthur put a firm hand on Merlin's shoulder and shoved the man out of the bed while shouting his name, effectively shocking the man awake.
"What is it!?" Shouted in a panic as he quickly got to his feet searching the room as if they were under attack. Seeing no one he looked at Arthur's amused expression rolling his eyes as the shock wore off and the pain from hitting the hard floor set in. The Prat pushed him out of the bed while he was in a dead sleep!
"My breakfast, go!" Arthur ordered as if Merlin had just forgotten his breakfast rather than having woken up already in the room. Merlin gave Arthur an annoyed look before heading for the door so that he could fetch the man breakfast. "Oh and Merlin!" He called after him causing Merlin to turn back to the man. "Thank you." Merlin was taken back, the King said please and thank you within just twelve hours, Merlin had never had those words spoken with sincerity to him by Arthur in all the time he knew him. Merlin's cheeks darkened a little, he was touched by the small gesture of acknowledgment. "Now go!" Arthur shouted bringing Merlin back to the task of fetching breakfast, he quickly dashed from the room and quickly ran for the kitchen.
About half way there Merlin stopped trying to catch his breath as he clutched at his heart. He had fallen asleep last night, in the King's bed! The idea making Merlin a little to happy, a warmth in his chest and a grin on his face. He tried to tell himself that it couldn't happen again, that this time was just an accident and the only reason Arthur wasn't mad was because he needed company. Despite this Merlin could not control the hope he was feeling, no matter how hard he mentally stomped on this hope with logic it just kept growing. Shaking his head Merlin started back toward the Kitchen again.
Merlin was quick to grab the King's breakfast and made his way back up to his Chambers, as his hands were full he didn't bother knocking, simply pushed his way in to find Arthur already at the table, paper work in hand. The King looked up at him with a blank expression. "Ah Merlin." He said placing his papers down. "I don't know who I expected, everyone else knocks before entering my chambers," Arthur teased a slight smile gracing his feature.
"If I knock you just ignore me," Merlin said referring to the previous night. He walked over and set the tray of food in front of the blond. "Breakfast!" He stated with glee.
"Yes Merlin, I can see that." Arthur rolled his eyes returning to the papers. "Why don't you get to work, My armor needs polishing, my clothes need washing and my room is a mess." Merlin quirked an eyebrow at the… short list he was just presented with.
"Anything else?" His worry for the King returned, it is true the man overworked him, but that is how Merlin knew he was himself.
"Yes, I'll be training with the knights today so after that I'll need a bath and my armor will need to be polished again." Arthur stated not looking over at the other man. Well, polish armor twice, that sounded a little more like Arthur. Merlin hadn't moved, he stayed watching Arthur for any sign of the broken man from the previous night. Finally Arthur's eyes met Merlin's and everything seemed to stop for the warlock. Arthur's eyes were… warm to Merlin, he was seeing a care in the King's eyes that had never been present there before. The hope started to bubble again and Merlin couldn't stop it, even reminding himself that Arthur, though hiding it well, was still wounded from Gwen's betrayal. "Well, go!" Arthur ordered loudly breaking Merlin's trance and sending the boy running out of the room to start with the armor down in the armory.
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Arthur set the last of his paperwork down pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance, paperwork was the most painful part of being King. He looked over at his half eaten breakfast and his mind shifted fondly to Merlin. "You don't need to keep up appearances with me. I don't think you should be alone right now." Merlin's voice was echoing in his head over and over again. The man's devotion to him was always amazing to Arthur, no matter what Merlin always treated Arthur as he would any of his closest friends. He could read Arthur like a book and always knew what was needed of him from the King, the comfort he offered had made getting back to his daily duties easier for Arthur. Yes Merlin was a servant but Arthur could admit to himself that Merlin was also a friend, his greatest friend. "You don't need to keep up appearances with me." Those words just kept going in his mind. Maybe, at least when alone in the safety of his Chambers, Arthur and Merlin could be just Arthur and Merlin. Not Master and servant or King and peasant, but friend and friend, equals even. Arthur actually found the idea pleasing, he felt weakened by Guinevere's betrayal, perhaps having someone to confide in as an equal would help him over come the pain.
