When there's no reason to go on...
I'm meant to be a strong person.
I'm meant to be proud of who I am.
I'm meant to have courage.
It hurts, I know I'm meant to be brave and seem like it doesn't bother me but it hurts. Being treated as an outsider, just because of who I'm attracted to.
What's the point...what's the point of going on? What's the point! When you're treated as an outcast in your own family! I knew It'd be hard for them, all of them especially dad he always wanted me to be everything Cooper wasn't he didn't want another 'Fag' for a son. In he's eyes he raised us to be boys not fags. He raised us to be like him, to be successful business men who would one day take over his law firm. He's given up now; he doesn't even make eye contact with me. He claims to of tried it all to 'Make me Right' he's made me build cars with him and he's even tried beating it out of me. It didn't work; it only hurt it only made this decision easier. The cuts and bruises on my body are nowhere near as painful as the ones in my heart.
I can feel it... the shame I've brought to everyone I know, everyone I love. I can make the shame go away, I can make the pain go away and just through taking a few too many pills, then it will all be over.