It couldn't be helped.
Homura's heartbeat quickened with each step she took within the confines of her apartment. Pacing had always seemed to get her thoughts in order, but this time it wasn't so easy.
Well, it never was easy when it came to Madoka.
She glanced over toward the door and then the clock not too far away. The minute-hand had just clicked into the ten o'clock position. Of course she's not here yet, she thought, biting her lip. We agreed on 7pm.
Nevertheless, Homura couldn't settle her nerves. Things had been going too well for her recently. In her opinion, it was much more than she deserved given the sins she had committed getting to this point. Perhaps she was due for some misfortune that would force her to start over in yet another timeline.
Homura made her way back into her living room to assess the situation. There was not a speck of dust anywhere—perfect. She reached down for the table and straightened up the stack of DVDs for the thirteenth time that day. Although the pessimist within her had been echoing promises of an inevitable downturn to her luck, she was dead-set on this evening going well.
After all, Madoka was actually going to spend some quality time with her. This was a first in at least a half dozen failed timelines. Homura's desire to make a meaningful connection with her dearest friend was one that only grew with each reset she had to commit. It had been so long since the last time that Madoka hadn't looked at her with fear.
The clock ticked ever louder, a reminder of her simultaneously beloved and cursed gift with time. Madoka could be here any moment now.
Unless… There was a hold-up? Homura tapped her feet on the ground, sorting through her worries. She knew for a fact that there would be no witches causing mayhem today—she had made sure that wouldn't be an issue. There was still the matter of Madoka's other friends, though. It would be nearly impossible to guarantee that Sayaka wouldn't hassle Madoka on any given day.
The thought of Madoka not making it to their meeting threatened to suffocate her in a way she didn't think could still be possible. She straightened her hair between her fingertips.
Just when Homura had begun to convince herself that the worst case scenario had taken place, there was a knock on her door. Suddenly, Homura's heart leapt into her throat and she realized she had done very little to prepare for the possibility that Madoka would actually show up.
Homura approached the door and attempted to put steel back into her steps. Certainly this task wouldn't be as surmounting as a witch's battle, right?
Just as Homura had cracked the door, Madoka was already prancing inside. "Hello, Homura! I hope you don't mind, but I brought a lot of snacks!"
By a lot, evidently she meant enough for a party of six. Two paper bags seemed to tower over her tiny frame, full with the likes of sweets and chips.
Some things never change, Homura thought fondly.
"Here, let me," she insisted, immediately attempting to lighten the load off Madoka's arms. In doing so, she caught sight of what her friend had decided to wear for the day.
Madoka had elected for a breezy summer dress that reached to about her mid-thigh. It was a bright white with a pink bow over her chest that was definitely the centerpiece of the ensemble.
Homura nearly stumbled over her own feet at the sight, but luckily managed to betray her own heart's stutters. She was glad Madoka had brought over so many snacks now, as it gave her a means to hide the blush that creeped up and settled along her cheeks.
"Thanks, Homura!" Madoka said as she removed her shoes and closed the door behind her. Homura unpacked the bags of their treats and began organizing it from what she believed Madoka would be most likely to eat first.
Homura struggled to think of any words that seemed appropriate after having been assaulted by such a cute sight. She suddenly felt quite underdressed, having opted to wear her typical day clothes.
Madoka sat on the floor and began sifting through the DVDs Homura had laid out. "This is going to be so fun, Homura," she proclaimed. "I haven't been on a sleepover in quite some time."
Homura tried not to think about what kind of person had the pleasure of spending so much alone time with Madoka. She figured it would probably have been Sayaka, but the idea didn't enthuse her.
"Neither have I," Homura responded somewhat vaguely. She settled into the couch behind Madoka, drinking in the sight of it. Here she was, with the girl of her dreams looking nothing short of stunning. And this was all hers.
Madoka hummed as she sorted through the stack of movies Homura had rented for just this occasion. Homura was well aware of Madoka's taste in all venues of media and had rented only things she knew Madoka would enjoy: romance, comedy and fantasy.
Homura watched Madoka's shoulder muscles stretch and relax from the activity of sorting the movies into three piles. She had a powerful urge to reach out and massage them but knew better and instead settled on checking on her soul gem.
Apparently, Madoka had noticed this.
"How is it?" she asked, pausing her sorting and letting her hands rest on her thighs. Her eyes were drawn to the subtle glow that emanated from within Homura's palm where she had pulled out her soul gem.
"Fine," she immediately pocketed it again but winced at how harsh that must have come out. She amended, "I just purified it this morning, so there's no need for you to worry."
Madoka perked at the response and scooted closer. "What was it like? Did you get to use your power? Did Sayaka help out?" she gushed excitedly.
A sour taste settled into Homura's mouth. While this timeline had been the best yet, that had inevitably meant that Madoka still romanticized the idea of what it meant to be a Magical Girl. Since Mami, Kyoko and Sayaka had not yet met any grim fates, there wasn't a bad example for Madoka to see.
"Madoka, being a Magical Girl is extremely dangerous," she said flatly. "You shouldn't ask these types of questions."
In response, Madoka stuck out her lower lip in a too-cute-for-her-own-good pout. She grumbled, "Am I not supposed to worry about you sometimes?"
"I'm serious," Homura stated, refusing to relent. "We're not superheroes. We're doomed to a fate that we signed up for."
Homura felt a twinge of regret slip into her heart as she witnessed the change from an excited smile to a disappointed frown on Madoka's face. Her heart felt as if it were being tugged in more and more directions the longer she had to watch her pout.
Homura tore her eyes away from Madoka, instead reaching for one of the stacks of movies her friend had laid out. The pile she had picked up was evidently the "Yes" pile, and the two still left standing must have been the "No" and "Maybe" collections respectively.
Changing the subject, Homura asked, "Did you have a favorite in mind?"
Madoka stood up with somewhat reddened knees from the contact with the floor—she should've offered a pillow or a blanket!—and peered at the three movies Homura now had in her hands.
"Well, the Alien one sounds interesting," Madoka said, somewhat subdued due to the previous conversation.
Homura had to do a double-take. How did that movie end up here? Certainly this would not be a movie Madoka would like, as it would fall under the category of "Horror," something she knew for a fact Madoka abhorred. She definitely did not remember picking that one up from the movie rental store.
"Are you sure?" Homura questioned with an eyebrow raised, "I'm fairly certain this is a horror movie."
"Yeah, well, Kyubey is pretty cute and from what you have told me he's pretty much an alien. So I don't see how it could be that bad!" Madoka chuckled. An image of the incubators flew across Homura's mind, and the last thing she would consider them to be was cute.
Homura had planned to intervene this logic before it budded into a dangerous decision later on. "Madoka—"
"I know, I know," she waved it off. " 'Kyubey's not cute and he is actually extremely dangerous and I should know better.' Right?" Madoka stuck her tongue out of one side of her mouth, drawing far too much attention to her lips for Homura.
Still, she didn't like how lightly her friend was talking about these matters.
Before she could get a word in edgewise, Madoka had already claimed the movie case and scurried over to the player with it in hand. Already she had inserted Alien and started to boot up the television.
Homura's eyes drifted more than they should have during this debacle.
Madoka turned off the light while she was up before returning to settle onto the couch next to Homura. Still bothered, Homura continued, "Yes, and you would do well to remember how dangerous he can be."
Satisfied with that, Homura reached for the remote and changed the video input onto the proper setting for her DVD player. At the same time, Madoka reached for her first snack: sour gummies. In lieu of a response, the sound of rattling plastic and commercials filled the room.
It occurred to Homura at this time how seemingly close she was to Madoka now. The other girl's body heat seemed to emanate in waves, tantalizing her with the concept of being so close, and yet so far. She was certain this type of abuse would encourage even the most hardened individuals to scoot closer for cuddling.
However, even the most hardened individuals could not hold a candle to what Homura had been through.
So, she was able to restrain herself from doing the one thing she most wanted to do in that moment. Homura found her gaze wandering from the beginning trailers to Madoka's face, lit up by the reflection of the television set. She studied her reactions and amused herself with how expressive Madoka could be.
Was it the fact that Madoka was an open book? Or did Homura simply know her well enough to pick up even the most subtle of cues?
"The trailers are always my favorite part," Madoka claimed, turning with a smile aimed directly at Homura.
Not wanting to be caught staring, Homura attempted to look away and focused back onto the television as her face grew warmer. "Yeah, me too."
Madoka slid the bag of candy closer to Homura, hinting that she ought to have some as well. Usually, Homura didn't humor herself eating sweets—she always figured she didn't deserve such luxuries when she could never seem to save the one thing that meant the most to her.
But when Madoka looked at her in this way, with such warmth and without fear, she knew she was weak.
Homura accepted, and grabbed a handful of the treats, idly wondering how long the sourness would stick to one's tongue after ingesting one of these things.
At long last, the trailers ended. Homura felt inclined to ask, "Are you certain this is the movie you'd like to watch?"
The word "Play Movie" was highlighted on the screen.
Madoka nodded and kicked her feet with a level of excitement that never seemed to escape her. "Yes! Let's watch it."
Homura mulled over how this could play out. Perhaps, this movie slipping into her bag at the rental store was a sign of good fortune. Would it encourage Madoka to cling to Homura from fear of the events in the movie? Hopefully it wouldn't upset Madoka too much, though; Homura couldn't stand the thought of seeing Madoka cry anymore.
Past lives haunted her at this prospect.
On the other hand, thinking about Madoka cuddling with her made her lightheaded for different reasons.
The movie started at a slow pace. Madoka tore through much of the snacks she had brought over and every little thing she did only seemed to taunt Homura more. She wanted to be closer, and the way Madoka's hand brushed against her leg as she reached for more was driving her up the wall. Even worse, that pink bow that was drawing attention to Madoka's chest seemed to be begging for Homura's attention.
Finally, she couldn't take anymore. Homura stood suddenly, knocking the bag of candy onto its side. "I'll… be right back, okay?" she said shortly, hiding her flushed expression with a turn.
"Ah, okay, don't be too long or you'll miss the whole movie!" Madoka responded cheerfully, completely oblivious. Normally, Homura would have felt inclined to respond that of course, she would be back very soon, but this was not a normal time.
She shuffled behind the couch and made for her bathroom as quickly as she could manage without raising alarm. Upon entering, she flicked the light switch on and leaned back on the closed door.
Why? She found herself thinking in vain. Why must you do this to me?
Homura wrapped her arms around herself and slid down into a crouch. It would seem that no matter how much she closed her heart to the world, it took little more than a smile for Madoka to break down all of her walls.
Her heart was racing as if she were still meeting Madoka for the very first time. She still remembered a time when she hadn't been a Magical Girl, where when her heart would race like this she had worried it was because of her medical condition.
Things hadn't changed since then. She had ran from her problems yet again, taking solace in her loneliness and pushing those around her away.
However, the thought of Madoka being scared from watching the movie all alone swayed her emotions even more.
"I have to control myself," she said quietly. She resolved that she needed to stop taking so many glances at Madoka, as she was only tormenting herself over what she could never have. "I will protect her… even if that means it's from my own desires."
The thought seemed to rattle her brain, but it seemed like the right thing to do for Madoka, so she knew it was the only thing she could do. Homura took a deep breath and straightened her hair out, attempting to reign in all the emotions that had ran rampant only moments ago.
When she finally felt settled enough, Homura opened the door back and turned the light off. Even from here, she could tell how Madoka was doing. The movie seemed not to have had a terrifying moment yet, based on the posture she was taking. On the other hand, although on the other side of the room, Homura could see Madoka shivering. Those shoulders she had fantasized about massaging earlier this evening now trembled from what must have been a far too efficient air conditioning unit.
Homura bit her lip at this sight, immediately regretting her lack of attention to this detail. Of course, Madoka would be cold even though to Homura she felt so warm. While it was hot outside, the air conditioning in here was set well below standard room temperature.
Not having any other options, Homura retreated into her bedroom and collected her comforter. She returned behind an unsuspecting Madoka, who jumped after Homura had covered her with the blanket.
"Is that better?" Homura asked, unable to help herself from adjusting the comforter so that it covered all of her.
"Wow, Homura, you sure surprised me!" Madoka gasped out. Evidently, the movie had already put her on high alert.
Homura returned to her seat, which was still slightly warm from earlier. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely, partly because she had startled her friend but also because she had allowed her to get cold in the first place.
"Don't worry about it, thank you so much," Madoka responded with the bright smile Homura had always attributed to her. Madoka was always so forgiving, even when she didn't deserve it.
Madoka lifted the blanket and slid it over on top of Homura. "Here, you're probably cold too, right?" she said, not really expecting a response.
Homura, now unable to stop the blood rushing to her face, shamelessly spoke. "A-Are you sure? It really should be all for you."
"Mm-hm," Madoka nodded her head. Then she lightly tapped Homura on the nose and rested her head on the other girl's shoulder. "See, now we can keep each other warm!"
Damn it, Homura cursed herself for not having the strength. Now, they were sharing a blanket and Madoka was practically snuggling up to her. Madoka had always been so brave… Even now, she cuddled up to the very object of her fear in many lifetimes.
Homura had never felt quite as much resolve to protect Madoka since she had the first time she had watched her die, or perhaps when she had made Madoka that promise so long ago.
Not long after, the movie had taken a turn for the worse. Terrifying creatures were being shown on screen, causing Madoka to react by covering her eyes and burrowing into Homura. Although Homura hated to see Madoka get so scared, she was not at all opposed to how close Madoka was clinging to her.
Perhaps if Homura had not been a Magical Girl, the tight pressure elicited from Madoka clenching her fingers into Homura's upper arm would be painful, but luckily that was not the case. She just wished her heart would still, and especially that it would stop longing for more.
Although each timeline would usually happen quite similarly with only some irregularities, this was a very new experience for Homura.
Suddenly, she felt a presence that did not belong.
"Why do humans always portray otherworldly beings as monsters or as an inconvenience on their society worthy of annihilation only to their own detriment?" an inquisitive voice suddenly questioned from over Madoka's shoulder.
At once, Homura had stood as if lightning had struck. Madoka watched in fascination as she had gone from a cozy outfit to her Magical Girl clothing. Already, she had gotten a gun out and had it readied on no other than the incubator, Kyubey.
"Oh my," he stated simply. "Are we simply going to reinforce this trope of destruction?"
"Get out," Homura spat. She should have known that if anyone could've thrown a wrench into this night, it would have been him. Why had this not occurred to her earlier?
"Well, well, it would seem I am interrupting something indeed," Kyubey assumed. Homura had little patience for him on a regular day, so on a day like this his appearance here would have almost certainly guaranteed his head getting blown off.
Homura's eyes were drawn to Madoka's, who had now gotten a front row view of Homura when she was very, very angry. This had brought some fear into the other girl, which after all this progress made Homura's heart drop.
Similarly, Homura lowered her gun and returned it to the space within her shield. Instead, she grabbed Kyubey by the scruff of his neck, and tossed him out the window with very little care.
"And don't come back!" she yelled after him, putting venom into her words and venting her own frustrations at the creature who had caused this perfect moment to be ruined. Homura then shut the window and latched it closed, not ready to face the look of horror she was sure had befell upon the one she loved.
Still, Homura was on edge from the incubator's sudden intrusion. She rushed over to where Madoka was still frozen stiff and grabbed onto her shoulders.
"Madoka, did he say anything to you?" she asked desperately. Her eyes searched for any sign of discomfort, lying, or manipulation on Kyubey's part. Just how long had he been there before she had noticed? Could he have been telepathically speaking to Madoka and filling her head with lies like so many times before?
The movie played in the backdrop, complete with screams of terror.
"N-No," Madoka responded, with some hesitation, "Not anything you didn't also hear."
Homura leaned in with her lips stretched taut, her eyes betraying the deadly stillness in her posture. It was the expression of someone who had just been told a dear, healthy family member was on their deathbed.
"Ow, Homura, you're hurting me!" Madoka cried. Unbeknownst to herself, while gripping Madoka's shoulders she had been digging into them with the amount of pressure it would take to push a lion off a sofa.
Homura backed off right away and clenched her fists, digging her fingernails into her own flesh. How could she have just done that?!
"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm so sorry, Madoka." Her eyes burned at the reality of the situation: she had lost control and hurt the one thing she had sworn to protect no matter what. Surely she would hate her now and want nothing to do with her. This night was to end with Madoka never wanting to see her again, and Homura would simply have to live with that because at least she was alive this time.
Homura's thoughts began to spiral downhill fast. It would seem that the best of emotions were always followed by the worst.
"M-Madoka?" Homura stuttered, her eyes failing her. Madoka had leapt into Homura and had crushed her in a bear hug. This was not something she deserved! Something so pure, and forgiving, and…
"It's okay, I understand," Madoka soothed. "I was only scared because you were so angry and it felt like you were directing it at me."
The thought of making Madoka feel so horrible overrode Homura's senses and she encircled her arms around her as well, taking care that her weapon would not hurt her. Tears still threatened to overwhelm her.
"I do what I do because I want to keep you safe," Homura admitted with all the honesty of a person falsely accused. Despite all that had happened in the past few minutes, she found herself far too content holding Madoka, which in turn led to more mental chastising of what a terrible person she must be.
Madoka made no move to end the hug until she was certain Homura had started to feel better. Upon pulling away, Madoka let her hands drag along Homura's arm until it reached the shield seemingly capable of endless destruction and life.
Homura flinched at this, preparing to pull away fully and transform back—something she should have already done but failed to do so because of her own incompetence. The way Madoka had held her hand so gently while doing this, though, gave her pause.
"What's it like?" Madoka asked, one hand clasped against Homura's and the other sliding across the surface of the shield. "To be able to pause time? Is it like a movie?"
Homura hesitated to go into this, as it seemed like it would only give Madoka bad thoughts about becoming a Magical Girl. She almost responded with the same manner she had the last time she asked her about this, but something compelled her otherwise. The intimacy of the situation seemed to give it a different tone than the callous excitement of only a couple of hours ago.
"Well…" Homura considered how she should answer. She didn't want to give Madoka the impression that there was any good reason to become a Magical Girl, but she felt she deserved the respect of a straight answer.
That being said, it was difficult to think straight at all being so close like this.
"It's fine," she settled on. "It allows me the ability to accomplish my long-term goal."
Madoka tilted Homura's arm to the side, attempting to see the connections and possibly where she could be storing all the weapons she used.
"Careful, you might make a bomb fall out," Homura teased. She regretted the joke immediately, though, as this made Madoka leap back with wide eyes. "Ah, I'm just kidding…"
Homura reached out for Madoka's hand again and returned it to the shield. Sensing her questions, she continued, "There's something of a… pocket, you might say. Except instead of storing keys, it leads to a level of unrealistic space that only I am able to manipulate."
The concept seemed to fly over Madoka's head.
It felt so foreign, to allow her so close to what is now such an essential part of her existence.
Then, Madoka's fingers strayed from the shield to further down, tracing a path of fire along Homura's skin every step of the way.
"So… this is it, right?" Madoka asked innocently, tracing the outline of where her soul gem rested.
"Yes, but don't…" The words caught in her throat just watching the look of adoration and awe that spanned Madoka's face, the aura of gentle dedication one would take when uncovering someone's deepest secrets.
She glided a finger over it, somewhat surprised by how cold it felt.
Madoka swallowed and looked up into Homura's eyes. Alien had at this point finished long ago and was now stuck in an infinite loop on the title screen. Neither of them noticed or cared.
"…Can you tell?" Madoka asked, now unable to meet the other's gaze.
Homura paused. She knew exactly what Madoka was asking, and yet it still surprised her. Homura squeezed her friend's hand.
"No, not really. It isn't until you learn the truth that a Magical Girl would even consider it." To Homura, this was the honest truth, not just a way to make Madoka feel better.
A heavy weight seemed to be lifted from her shoulders at this revelation, and Madoka's smile was comparable to that of an angel.
"I'm so glad!" Madoka squeezed both of Homura's hands tightly then. "It's just like that then, huh? You can experience all the same things that a non-Magical Girl would, right? I know you always say it, but Homura, your life isn't over just because you're a Magical Girl. You can still hang out with friends, go to school, have your first kiss, have a… boyfriend," she paused, an unmistakable blush spreading all the way up to her ears.
"All those things, you can still have them! I know you can, because I'll always be right here to remind you and to help make sure you do. We can do this together, Homura, I—"
Homura couldn't handle it anymore. The most beautiful girl in the entire world was here, holding her hands, perhaps not even two inches away from her body. More importantly, she had started talking about the one thing she wanted more than anything else right now.
Homura wrapped her arms around Madoka and pulled her close all at once. She allowed one of her arms to hold her waist and the other behind her back and shoulders. All this was a blur to Homura, though, because finally, after all this time…
She had kissed Madoka. Homura had pressed her lips against hers gently but with great purpose; there was no room for misinterpretation. Her heart could have bounded right out of her chest just then, and even if that were the case she wasn't sure she could pull away long enough to chase after it.
Homura held onto her as if she were hanging onto the last remaining threads of her own life, with the desperation of a man who had not had water in a week and had only his hands to serve as a cup when he finally found it again.
Somewhat fleetingly, Homura noticed the sour taste that still lingered on Madoka's lips.
Madoka melted into the embrace. All the tension that had been in her muscles now escaped her. Homura felt a gentle touch on her back between her shoulder blades, where Madoka must have placed both of her delicate hands.
This encouraged her to deepen the kiss. Homura's hand naturally slid up Madoka's body and rested on the side of her face, which she used so she could gauge the amount of pressure she applied lest she hurt Madoka again.
Had she died and gone to Heaven? This world was far too cruel to have allowed Homura such pleasures without cost.
And yet, her pessimistic thoughts did not plague her now. All that could go through her mind were thoughts of Madoka and how truly spectacular this moment was and how she would go through a million timeline resets if it meant she could be here again.
After what seemed like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes, Homura realized she shouldn't indulge any further like this without making sure it was absolutely what Madoka wanted.
After all, Homura had been waiting what easily could have been several lifetimes for this moment. But Madoka, she had to remember… Had only technically known her for a couple of weeks.
Homura ended the kiss but allowed her forehead to rest against Madoka's. She felt quite pleased with herself, based on the breathless and flushed expression Madoka was sporting. A surge of happiness spread from her chest to the very ends of her toes and fingers, as if a flower had bloomed.
"H-Homura," she stammered, suddenly unable to meet the other girl's gaze.
Homura's hand automatically reached for Madoka's chin and guided her gently back in order to make eye contact.
"Madoka," she began. The name danced on her tongue in the most pleasing way. Homura couldn't help a smile. "You shouldn't worry so much about me. Whether or not my life can attain normalcy… Doesn't matter."
She shook her head, then swallowed. Should she stop there? No… What if she never got another chance?
"All I need is you."
The passion and conviction held behind this exclamation betrayed her intentions. The more intimate part of her thoughts that went unsaid were conveyed anyway.
Homura watched as Madoka blushed heavily, her fingertips blazing from the heat underneath. Madoka chewed her lip. She was thinking hard enough that Homura could practically hear gears churning.
At this, Homura began to feel anxious. Perhaps she had misread the situation; did she overstep her boundaries? She let her arms fall back to her side and gripped her sleeve instead. Almost as an afterthought, she finally reverted back out of her Magical Girl self.
"Hey, Homura, don't look so sad!" Madoka finally responded. She tapped her feet on the ground behind her and clasped her own hands behind her back.
"I just can't… answer yet," she continued sheepishly. "I need more time. But for now, can we just be like this?"
Homura nodded, somewhat relieved and yet experiencing a twinge of disappointment. She had to remind herself: Madoka didn't reject her, she just wanted to explore what all this really meant. And that was okay.
"Yes, of course," Homura said shortly. She grabbed Madoka's hand and tugged her back to the couch, aiding her back to her seat and putting the blanket back on. "Let me get another movie going."
Homura's heart was in all sorts of different places now. She wanted to be so much closer to Madoka but felt obligated to wait patiently for her friend to unpack her own emotions. On top of that, she was well aware of just how little time there was before the day of reckoning—the day when Walpurgisnacht would once again wreak havoc in Mitakihara City.
If Madoka didn't make a decision before then, it could be too late. If things went poorly with Walpurgisnacht, Homura would have no choice but to rewind time again and start all over. And then, this wonderful night… It would mean nothing.
All these conflicting feelings left Homura aloof and distant. Otherwise, she wasn't sure what she might do.
Homura didn't bother sifting through the remaining movie stack—she had already decided this morning which one she would show Madoka.
It didn't take very long for the movie to boot up and begin showing the trailers. Homura avoided Madoka's gaze as she returned to her own seat. She would not persuade Madoka into something she didn't want.
But of course, Madoka had other plans. She always seemed to thwart Homura's meticulous designs.
Madoka didn't hesitate to rest her head on Homura's shoulder this time. Evidently, when she had requested that they remain the way they were… she didn't mean as friends, but rather like this. Homura recognized that her pessimism had gotten the best of her again—Madoka still wanted to be near her, she just didn't want a label on what it was.
Now, her slight temper tantrum and spiraling mood seemed ridiculous.
As the romance movie got underway, Homura could already tell just how invested Madoka had become already. She gasped when the protagonist's boyfriend had revealed that he had found someone else within the first ten minutes of the film, blushed and looked away during the more risqué sequences, and fumed when the new romantic interest didn't catch on right away.
"Do you mind?" Madoka asked suddenly. Homura peeled her eyes away from the screen and glanced to her side. Madoka glanced down at Homura's lap.
"Ah," Homura smiled lightly, already fully aware of the unspoken request. She lifted her arms up. "Not at all."
Madoka readjusted her position and laid down on Homura's lap, allowing her head to rest. She had her legs curled up and one hand placed on Homura's thigh directly in her line of sight. At the same time, Homura pulled the blanket up to make sure it hadn't slipped off during this change.
"Thank you, Homura," Madoka grumbled quietly. Her eyelids were halfway shut.
"You are always welcome, Madoka," Homura said. Her voice carried a level of warmth in it that washed over Madoka and accomplished far more than the comforter could on its own. She lowered her arms over Madoka and without much thought began to caress her gently.
Madoka's bright pink hair felt just as amazing between her fingers as it looked. Homura reached for the ribbons that tied her beautiful hair up and carefully pulled at the ends to remove them. She did so slowly so as not to bother Madoka while she was drifting off, but also figured it may be uncomfortable to sleep with them on.
Upon collection of the red accessory, Homura set it to the side and continued her work smoothing out Madoka's hair. In her past lives, Madoka had always had a fondness for her own hair. She had often made comments about how beautiful it was and how she would have loved to braid it herself.
The thought of her doing so now made Homura blush.
Beneath her, Madoka's breathing was slowing and her eyes were now shut. It would only be a matter of minutes until she was fast asleep, Homura figured. She supposed after nearly getting through two movies and an emotional moment, the time must have slipped away and it had gotten late without her realizing.
Even so, Homura's heart was content. She brushed a stray hair of Madoka's that had fallen into her face and nestled it behind her ear. Although she had no intentions of the night going this way, it had all gone so perfectly in the end.
She couldn't help the places her mind wandered.
Did this mean Madoka would be this close to her from now on? Could this lead to… more?
Homura's heartbeat picked up at the implication and her palms got clammy. The ribbon attached to her friend's dress still mocked her despite being covered in shadows and a blanket.
Perhaps I should walk her home after school tomorrow, Homura considered. To protect her, of course.
The romantic movie was now reaching its climax. The woman had realized her love for her friend who had been there for her all along, even despite her previously toxic relationship. The male friend had declared his own love to her by way of a melody and a gift. This romantic gesture had tipped the scale for the both of them, leading to great happiness.
As they leaned in for a kiss, Homura was reminded of her own only an hour or so ago. Her hand not currently petting Madoka subconsciously touched her lips, questioning the reality of it all.
They still tingled slightly at the sensation.
Homura fantasized about if the couple in the movie could have been the two of them. She had never been very interested in romantic movies like this, but it was hard not to get swept up by the possibility that this could be hers.
Homura's hand now drifted to Madoka's shoulder. She rubbed the other girl's back with the amount of care a person might give when handling a fragile family heirloom.
Inevitably, Homura's thoughts returned to realism. She had to keep her eye on her ultimate goal. Walpurgisnacht would be here soon, and although things had gone well (too well, Homura reminded herself) up to this point, the hardest challenge of all had yet to occur.
Homura questioned how she should proceed now. Of course she needed to continue taking out every witch and looking after the other Magical Girls in the city in the hopes that they may join together to defeat the calamity, but now there was more to do than ever before.
Now that she had gotten a glimpse at what true happiness was like, Homura wanted it all to herself. On top of ensuring things went according to her plans, there was also the issue of spending more time with Madoka just like this and perhaps building something more.
The movie had now been on the title screen for about ten minutes. Homura had not even noticed since she had been so lost in her thoughts and in her careful attention on the other girl.
Homura wanted to stay like this forever.
If only my power weren't so limited, Homura lamented. I could do just that.
She sighed. Looking around her surroundings, she garnered that the time was now nearly midnight. The snacks that Madoka had brought along had been nearly demolished save for one bag of candy.
Homura slowly slid her hand underneath Madoka's head and lifted her just enough to be able to get up. Thankfully, Madoka didn't stir. She quickly turned off the DVD player and television and wrapped up the remaining bag of candy for Madoka's enjoyment later. She collected the empty containers and put them in the trash.
Now only one thing remained.
Satisfied with the condition of her living room, Homura returned to the adorably snoozing girl wrapped up in her blanket on her couch. She folded the blanket in such a way that it still covered Madoka but wouldn't fall off during her next maneuver.
Then, Homura bent down and reached her arms out toward Madoka. One arm supported the sleeping Madoka's neck and the other cradled beneath the crook in her knees. Gently, Homura lifted Madoka up and held her close.
Even now, it surprised her how light Madoka was. Homura could carry her with ease after all those timelines of training she had endured. It filled her with courage and happiness that Madoka felt safe enough to be so vulnerable in her presence.
Perhaps her task wasn't such an impossible one after all.
Homura tilted Madoka so that her head and body naturally leaned against her own. Carrying her this way only strengthened her resolve and protective nature, which she vowed would never fail her.
The living room was fleeting now as Homura slowly treaded away. She took great care that her steps were flat and without recoil so that Madoka could continue to sleep soundly, even though it took twice as long.
Once Homura reached her bedroom door, she leaned her back against it to force it open. Thankfully, she had enough sense to leave it cracked earlier. She entered sideways so as not to smack her dear friend's head against the doorframe.
Within moments, Homura laid Madoka down gently into the very same bed she had taken refuge in many nights. Her gentle breathing and tensionless face were stunning in this setting. Tearing her eyes away from this sight, Homura began to unfold the blanket and cover Madoka neatly with it. Although covered in darkness, she managed to do so with ease since she knew Madoka's body frame so well.
"Mm, Homura," Madoka mumbled. It made Homura stumble slightly in her task to hear her name said so breathlessly by her love. She quickly finished adjusting the comforter and stepped closer to the head of the bed.
Homura placed a hand on Madoka's shoulder and reached down for a peck on her cheek. She allowed herself to linger, memories of earlier flooding her senses shamelessly. She then leaned back and whispered in Madoka's ear, "Sweet dreams, Madoka."
Satisfied with herself, Homura shuffled back toward the door and glanced back at her handiwork. Madoka was snuggled up in her bed at this very moment, now tucked in quite comfortably. The scene just begged Homura to return to Madoka's side and hold her close while she slept, but she knew she shouldn't.
Homura closed the bedroom door behind her slowly so as the clicking noise of the lock wouldn't alarm her sleeping friend. It took nearly all of her strength to drag herself back into the living room.
She collapsed into the couch she had been with Madoka on only moments prior. She pulled a throw pillow close and squeezed it with all her might.
The seats beneath her were still warm.
Madoka, she thought heedlessly. I hope my feelings reach you.
It didn't take much longer for Homura to feel her eyelids growing heavy. Her last waking thoughts were of Madoka's beautiful and contagious smile and her dreams of what could be between them.