How Tails Died
I never was much of a Sonic fanatic. To be honest, I actually hated that blue hedgehog with a passion. I had heard stories of his cruelty from my friend, Dr. Eggman, a wonderful scientist who I have tea with regularly. Though often misunderstood, Eggman is a scientist of good intentions. He always tries to benefit society with new inventions and machines. So you can understand that, after hearing stories from such a prestigious man, I would hate Sonic with a passion.
But, as fate would have it, I would be forced to meet Sonic. It happened on a Sunday evening, at my house, while I was sitting on my porch drinking lemonade. I happen to live by a track and field, and it was there that I spotted a blue object rapidly completing laps. I stared for a moment, wondering what the object could be.
Then I heard a sarcastic voice carrying through the wind, stating, "You're too slow!" As soon as I heard those venomous words, I dropped my glass of lemonade in shock. All the conversations I had with Dr. Eggman rushed back into my memory, and without hesitation I walked into my house and grabbed the shotgun resting in my bedroom's closet. Oh it was a beautiful feeling I had in that moment… holding that firearm in my hands… stroking it… and understanding that I now had the chance to destroy that blue demon.
I walked quickly over to the race track, and found Sonic finishing laps at an incredible rate. I was surprised to find a two tailed fox trailing behind him with tremendous effort. I continued to walk towards Sonic, but was halted in my tracks once I heard his demonic voice.
"You're too slow! You're too slow! YOU'RE TOO SLOW!" The Hedgehog sprinted around the track, overlapping the poor fox several times with ease. I could see the look on the fox's face even to this day. It was a look of defeat and shame. Or, now that I recall, it may have simply been a look of physical exertion. The reason for the fox's look was irrelevant. What mattered was the demon hedgehog's existence. To see him breathing was… overwhelming. I couldn't walk away even if I wanted to.
I turned to Sonic, and raised my boomstick into the air; pulling its trigger and unleashing a round of buck shot. Both Sonic and the mutant fox stopped running. They turned to me, and our eyes met. Sonic's cocky smile nearly made me puke, but luckily I was able to swallow the vomit in my mouth.
"Can I help you?" He asked me with a pompous tone.
I took a deep breath, and replied, "Yes. You can help me… Sonic the Hedgehog." I wanted to sound ominous, but not too ominous. There needed to be some mystery about my intentions of murdering him.
The mutant fox looked at Sonic in a panic, "Oh no! Sonic I think he wants to fight!"
"Shut up tails…" Sonic said quickly, "Even if he does want to fight, there's nothing you can do about it, you're too slow."
The fox, apparently named Tails, looked at the ground in dismay, "You're right… I am too slow…"
Sonic gave a little chuckle and turned his eyes to me, "So what are you supposed to be, a hillbilly with an attitude?" I will admit that Sonic's quick and witty insult made me feel slightly vulnerable, emotionally. I looked at my shotgun, then at my outfit. I suppose to the untrained eye of fashion I did look like a hillbilly, and since Sonic didn't wear clothing, it seemed obvious to me that he wouldn't know a thing about clothing.
As I quickly thought over his statement in my head for twenty minutes, I developed a witty retort of my own. "Yeah? Well I wouldn't expect a naked hedgehog to understand the modern era of fashion." I suppose twenty minutes was a little too long for the hedgehog, because he had already gone back to running by the time I spoke again. Once I did however, he stopped.
"It's about time!" He yelled before rushing over to me. "I can see that you've got yourself quite the brain power fella. But let's be real for a second here." He walked around me several times, smirking as he did so. "If you're looking for a fight… it's obvious that you're too slow."
I grit my teeth in aggravation, "Too… slow?"
The mutant fox, who had made his way over to Sonic and I, nodded his head quickly, "That's right! Sonic is the fastest around. You're too slow for Sonic! Because if I'm too slow for Sonic, then you're definitely too slow for Sonic."
Sonic laughed, then grabbed tails by his neck, "Shut up tails! Your jokes are too slow!" As civil as I was trying to be during this whole murder attempt, Sonic's domestic abuse got the better of me.
I pointed my shotgun at his face, "Let the mutant creature go Sonic!" I shouted. In an instant, the blue hedgehog was out of my sight. He rushed up behind me and struck the back of my head without mercy. I let out a wail of pain and collapsed to the ground. I could hear the patter of Sonic's sneakers around me, and my shotgun crash to the floor several feet away from me.
"See? Just as I said! This old man is way too slow!" Sonic laughed again, then kicked me in my side. "Look at this guy Tails! He's so slow, slower than you!"
Tails laughed nervously, "Y-yes! Definitely slower than me."
"Don't hesitate when you're talking to me Tails! It's way too slow!" I could hear the anger in Sonic's voice rising.
"I'm sorry…" Tails replied solemnly.
"Do you really want to be that slow? Huh? I found you in a tree Tails, and I'll put you back there unless you shape up!" I tried to raise my head, but Sonic's strike had sent me into a daze. My vision came in and out of focus. I could see that Sonic had pushed Tails to the ground, and was pacing around him quickly.
"No! Don't put me back into the tree! I… I can be better Sonic!"
"Yeah? You think you can be faster? You're hesitating with your words as we speak!"
"I… I'm not! I swear I'm not!"
"You just did Tails! You're like a slug! So fat and slow!" As the two freakish animals continued their banter, I was searching desperately for my boom stick. This hedgehog's reign of evil had gone on long enough; I would put an end to him. I would shoot him while his back was turned. I spotted the shotgun laying several feet away from me, and slowly crawled toward it.
Sonic knelt down, "Tails, you and I both know that I'm fast right? I'm really fast, faster than anything."
Tails nodded, "Faster than superman!" The mutant fox looked over at me, and upon seeing that I was reaching for my shotgun, stopped speaking for a moment. I stared at him, afraid he might say something to Sonic. But to my surprise, he gave me a quick nod and continued to speak, "You're faster than light itself!"
Sonic thought for a moment, then smiled, "Hey you're right! I am fast, aren't I? I should challenge light to a race, what do you think?" While Sonic continued to ramble, I had reached my shotgun. I stood up slowly, blood dripping from my ears and nose as I did so. Tails continued to stroke Sonic's ego as I aligned my shotgun with the back of his head. With a smile, I pulled the trigger.
The buckshot left the barrel, flying rapidly at Sonic. But, much like everything else on this earth, it was too slow. With supernatural reflexes, Sonic zipped out of the line of fire, leaving Tails wide open. The buckshot entered into the fox's body, puncturing a multitude of vital organs, killing him instantly. He let out a final gasp of air, and his blood trickled onto the track's surface.
There was silence. Sonic and I both stared at Tail's body in disbelief. "T-tails?" Sonic said with a shaky voice. "TAILS?"
I cleared my throat uncomfortably, "Sonic… this wasn't supposed to happen…" I could hear him sobbing as he grabbed onto Tails dead body.
"Why did you have to be so slow?" Sonic whispered, "Why…" Although I was distraught about killing an innocent, I knew now would be my only chance of ending Sonic. I pumped another shell into my shotgun's barrel.
"Sonic… I'm sorry." I said, raising the barrel to the back of his skull.
Sonic shook his head, "No..." He turned around with lightening speed, "Not as sorry as you're going to be…"
- To be continued-