Disclamer: I, Lace168, herebye give all rights to this story to Stephenie Meyer, prettypinkbookworm, and yayme2012. I've just edited a little.

Note to my readers: This is nearly an exact copy of what was on Bad Fanfiction (yayme2012) and I am fully aware of that. In my awesome cliched chapter 2, it will be my writing.

Thank you yayme2012 for leading me to prettypinkbookworm so I could write this.

Thank you prettypinkbookworm for granting me permission.

And now I am done with all this crap.

One day Jacob Black was moping around at La Push. "Woe is me. Bella is not mine." he said.

He moped around the beach for about 5 hours untill he came across a moping Leah.

"Woe is me," she said. "Sam is that witch Emily's."

Together they moped, feeling quite sorry for themselves, for 5 hours. Then Jacob had an idea.

"Leah, since we're both alone, why don't we get together?" he asked. Leah raised her eyebrow.

-insert lemon here-

-here-

-and here-

-nine months of moping/lemons later-

Leah was running around in her wolf form totally unaware of anything amiss. Stupid Sam... mother cheated... who's the real brother...

Just shallow Leah thoughts, you know. What is this? I'm going into labor!

-puppy pops out because that's exactly what happens according to prettypinkbookworm and who am I to complain?-

Leah quickly phased back. "Wow. That whole Jacob thing was not the best idea now, was it?"

Leah looked down at the little baby puppy/wolf, seeing that it looked a lot like Jacob. Figures, she thought.

Change, you little dork, she thought to her puppy/wolf. Nothing happened.

She started getting ticked. Only alive for a couple of minutes and the thing was already being rebellious. Crap genes.

I SAID CHANGE! MORPH! BECOME HUMAN SO I CAN TAKE YOU HOME! she thought loudly.

Nothing happened. The puppy cocked its head, being the little adolescent it was.

Crap.

Leah sighed. This is what she got for getting pregnant. Not knowing what to do and extremely exasperated with her child, she phased and then grabbed him in her mouth and ran back to the

reservation.

-PAGE BREAK-

"Billy, I tell you, the thing won't change. I don't know if it even can." Leah said in an irritated voice.

Leah sighed. Was she the only rational person on the reservation? When she had explained the predicament to Jake he had immediately freaked and lead her to Billy, who was simply staring at the puppy/wolf with wide eyes.

"Are you meaning to tell me...that that puppy/wolf is my GRANDSON?" Billy freaked.

Leah rolled her eyes.

"Yes. And he's being annoying. If he doesn't change I don't want him." Jake continued to stare down at his son.

"Well," Billy tried to regain control, "I suppose the only thing to do is call a doctor. And there's only one that specials in mythical creatures in the immediate area, so I guess we'll have to go with

him."

"His rates better not be too high," Leah moaned.

-Carlisle magically appears-

"Hello Dr. Fang," Jacob threw out unoriginally. Leah just picked up her puppy/wolf and handed him to Carlisle.

"What is this? I'm not a veterinarian." Carlisle stared up at sky "Why do authors always just assume things... and after just poofing me in like that..."

"He's our child," Leah explained. "And he won't do anything. Can you help." Carlisle stared down at the puppy/wolf in horror, then back up at Leah and Jacob.

"Well," Carlisle began, darting another look up at the two new parents, "What exactly do you mean by 'won't do anything?"

Billy jumped in. "Apparently he won't phase." Carlisle's face was immediately grim.

"What?" Billy and Jacob gasped simultaneously. Leah continued to stand with her arms folded.

"There is a possibility that the chil-pupp-wo-uh, offspring will never phase into a human."

They all gasped.

Billy's eyes widened in horror. Jacob put his hand on the table. "So what are we supposed to do with it?" Leah asked.

"W-well," Carlisle stuttered, "I assume you would treat it like any other puppy/wolf. Play fetch, teach it to sit, and just enjoy it's company."

Leah glared. "So you mean now I have to take care of it? Like a pet?"

"Leah!" Billy exclaimed. "This is your child."

Leah thought for a moment. "Yeah, but I don't want it if it's just going to be like any other dog."

Carlisle eyes grew ever wider. "I guess that the um...offspring could go to you Jacob. You are, after all, the father."

Jacob immediately began to shake his head. "No, no, no. No. I'm not looking after a puppy. And if it was a kid...do you know how much I'll get teased for this?"

Billy looked hopeless.

"I guess I could take it off you're hands," Carlisle offered, surveying the three faces before him.

"Sure," Leah agreed, and thrust the puppy into Carlisle's arms.

Carlisle carefully held the puppy/wolf. "Are you sure? You do realize that you are giving sole custody of-"

"Just take him already!"

-PAGE BREAK-

"Bella, I have a rather...interesting surprise for you," Carlisle announced as he entered the door of his mansion.

'"Oh, what is it, what is it?" squealed Bella, extremely OOC as usual.

"A puppy!"

"Aww, I've always wanted a puppy! Look Edward, isn't he cute?" Bella held out the puppy Carlisle had given to her.

Edward wrinkled his nose. "He smells awful."

Bella frowned. "Don't be mean." She held the puppy close. "I shall call him Squishy and he shall be my Squishy and he shall be mine."

-16 or so years later-

"CARLISLE CULLEN WHAT IS A CONFUSED WEREWOLF DOING IN OUR LIVING ROOM AND WHERE IS SQUISHY?" Bella yelled from downstairs, red in the face.

Me, in my complete and total awesomness apologise to anyone I told that I would be done with in a day. Well, I was busy so suck it up! I was obsessiong over Braden/the Monkey Lord, and you would be too if you knew him. Next chapter soon hopefully. Now review. Even if you don't like me, review for the sake of yayme2012 and prettypinkbookworm!!!

-Lace168