With Friends Like You Jay, Who Needs Enemies?

Fandom: The Inbetweeners

Chararacters: Will McKenzie, Simon Cooper, Jay Carthwright, Neil Sutherland, Carli D'Amato

Rating: M

Warnings: language, and probable OOC-ness. Bit of angst thrown in to. Set after Series 3, but Simon still has his car.

Disclaimer: I am in no way associated to the cast or crew of The Inbetweeners. If only..

Author's Notes: First Inbetweeners fic. I'm very nervous posting this, I'm such a huge (recent) fan of the show, and I worry I'm not going to be able to write the characters well. But Inbetweeners fics are like gold-dust, so I thought I'd write something. One-shot at the moment. HOWEVER-I may make this multi-chap, depends on what you guys think. Feedback pretty much needed :) Enjoy!

It had all gone very well up to now. They had finished 6th Form and had celebrated by burning their uniforms (although Will had insisted on keeping his one set of uniform) and going to Carli D'Amato's party. That night was more than any of the four friends had expected; Carli confessed her feelings for Simon, meaning they spent the rest of the party drinking and trying to eat each others' faces. Neil defended one party-goer from an angry neighbour and subsequently got himself laid for being a "tall, dumb knight in shining armour". Will had snogged Charlotte for majority of the night before tracking down his friends to help him find Jay, who was later found naked and passed out in the spare bedroom.

It was a couple of days later after a particularly long night at the pub that things began to unravel.

-I-

"I had an idea the other day, which may interest you all. I thought we should pack up, and go on holiday." Will stood up and pulled on his grey blazer.

"Yeah, that's an excellent idea." Simon enthused, rising from his chair and shrugging on his own jacket. Neil nodded and clapped enthusiastically next to him, and started to move towards the exit.

"We should go to Madrid. It's a sea of clunge. They're all dirty too, real proper kinky stuff." Jay followed Neil through the exit, turning to Will and Simon behind him, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Madrid? No. I was thinking somewhere like Devon, or Cornwall."

"There are girls there though right?" Jay, abruptly stopping in his tracks, asked the smaller man.

"Yes Jay, there are girls there." Will answered as he walked past him, rolling his eyes at his shallow and sex-mad friend.

"They won't wanna fuck you though Jay." Simon quipped, gaining a laugh from Neil while Jay gave Simon the middle finger. The four of them laughed as they continued walking towards Simon's car.

"Why would you want to go to Cornwall though? It's boring. And like Neil's dad."

"Huh?" Neil frowned at Jay, his mind working hard to understand.

"Gay."

"My dad's not gay, shut up!" Neil whined.

"Cornwall is nice though. Peaceful, picturesque, it inspires the creative minds." Will stated matter-of-factly, a smile pulling at his lips as he remembered childhood holidays at the town.

"Boring then? Typical you wanting to go there then."

"How is me wanting to go there typical?"

"It's just like you; predictable. You know to expect there, just like we know what to expect with you. I'm right aren't I Simon?" Jay and Will looked at Simon, who so far had said nothing about the potential destination. Simon looked frantically between his two friends; while Will was his best friend, he did agree with Jay.

"He does have a point Will..," Simon started sadly, stopping when he noticed Will shaking his head, "I'm sorry mate, but you always need to control something, like it has to be a certain way otherwise it's wrong. Nothing wrong with being consistent, but you take things too far with how perfect they have to be." Simon explained, hoping he could make his friend understand. Jay smirked and continued walking, to catch up with Neil who hadn't noticed the others had stopped.

"Exactly! Thanks Simon. Perfect, that's what you are Will. Live a little." Jay called over his shoulder, before turning back and winking with his advice.

"I don't claim to be perfect Jay!" Simon yelled across the car park

"Yes you do. All the fucking time. That perfect bellend with his briefcase, and his morals, and his plummy education."

"You do." Neil silently agreed, until a look from Simon told him to shut up.

"Just because I appreciate the value of education, Jay, does not mean it's 'plummy'. Not that plummy is even a word..." Will stopped suddenly when he noticed Jay scoffing. Glancing to Simon, his best friend, who just shrugged, Will decided to tackle this head on.

"Something stuck in your throat Jay? Or are you trying to take back your words?" Will taunted, some kind of alternate version of himself merging. What am I saying? Jay is my friend. I think he is anyway. Will's conscious asked, disappointment and concern lacing its words.

Well done McKenzie. Maybe next time you could stick a penis onto your head like a unicorn, just so everyone can see the dickhead is coming. Mr Gilbert's voice boomed into his mind, causing Will to grimace. Of all the people whose voices could interrupt his inner monologue. It was while Will had been processing his inner monologue that Jay had approached him, being mere millimetres away from his face.

"I would never take back my words, especially not for someone like you. If I say something to you McKenzie, it's because I mean it. Don't try to taunt me again, I could take you down." Jay spat, menace evident his words and the darkness of his eyes. Gulping silently yet nervously, Will stood to his full heigh and stared into Jay's dark anger filled eyes.

"I'd like to see you try." Will heard his voice daring Jay.

Author's Note: There we have it. I'm nervous about posting this, but please review. Even with constructive criticism. Thank you for reading. xx