Series: Saiyuki
Character: Gojyo
Setting: After Sanzo tells him that Gonou is dead
Rating: Pg-13
Title: How To Save A Life
Where Did I Go Wrong?
I Lost A Friend Somewhere Along In The Bitterness
But Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night
Had I Known How To Save A Life
-How To Save A Life by The Fray
Snip snip snip.
The blades of the scissors open and closed over and over again, slicing strand after strand of long crimson locks. It wasn't much, but it seemed like it was all he could do. He had put himself on the line, saving a stranger, and what did it matter? It didn't change things. Gonou was still dead.
And his life had returned to the monotony that he had come to hate so much. Sure, things weren't difficult but that was the problem. Life was so easy it made him want to puke. Sometimes, he did.
As he watched the strands of hair fall into the sink, he couldn't but let a twisted smile spread across his lips. It looked just like blood. Hadn't that been what the other man said? That his hair would be a reminder of his sin? Well now it would be Gojyo's sign of repentance, besides, he couldn't hide behind it forever, could he?
Logically, he knew that none of this was his fault. He did what he could, didn't he? The man had committed sins; of course they would punish him. But…he had been the first friend he had since…well, since Jien probably, and he wasn't all that sure that a brother counted as a friend anyways.
It always came down to this, didn't it? The people he cared about, and he stayed. He really did bring disaster, didn't he? The child of taboo couldn't help but wonder if things would of ended up better for his friend had someone else found him. But he did. He nursed Gonou back to help, and now he had lost him. Just like he had lost his mom. Why didn't anyone see that he should have been the one to die?
And finally, he was done, and sat the scissors down on the sink, running his fingers idly through the now short hair. Not his best look, that was to be certain. With a frown, he grabbed his cigarettes and jacket and made his way towards the door, suddenly pausing.
No one would be here waiting for him when he came home. Damn. The problem with having a friend was that it made you forget how lonely life was. Well, he had learned it once, and he was perfectly capable of leaving once more. Maybe next time he picked up a stranger, he'd know how to really save a life.