AN: Remus and James have a little heart to heart about Sirius, trust, the war, and general morality. No slash implied even if it sounds like it. Lots of philosophy and depression.
We Are The Evil
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"We are the evil. We lie to ourselves and say that we are doing good but really we are all drowning in our own hates. We are all too lost in our own self-righteousness to see that we are destroying the very hope for the world we long to see." Remus stared bitterly at the setting sun, watching it turn the sky a bloody red, like a heart, stabbed and bleeding to death. "We try to trick ourselves by saying that we're fighting for the good but really we need people like Him. They provide an evil that we can safely face and not be scared, not really scared. It keeps us from facing the real monsters, ourselves."
James looked at is friend with something like pity in his eyes. "You've been thinking about Sirius again."
Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was already starting to turn gray, despite the fact that he was barely over twenty. "I just… can't trust him. And he can't trust me. Christ, James, don't you see what this war is doing to us? It's bringing us to our worst, our most evil. You don't know who's on your side and who's on the other so you have got to suspect every one."
"Look, I understand why you suspect him, but he's not a spy. I know it." James stared at his friend. "I don't blame you for suspecting him either; you're just trying to keep your cause safe.
"Oh, and friendship should never come before the cause, should it? This is what is killing us. We aren't even human anymore… not that I ever was." Remus' voice was laced with bitterness. "We are not always what we seem, our darkest fears, our deepest passions, our strongest hates, all these are things we can never share and so we pretend to be other then we are. All our promises are lies and through that which we love can we be most hurt."
"Alright Remus, I've heard your philosophy of depression before. You know I'll never agree with you." James sighed. "I know where you're coming from, ok? I've been there before. But you don't have to look at the world like that. It's not all so dark."
"Really, isn't it? I have no one I can trust. If I have even one suspicion I won't even be able to trust you any more. I can't live with this goddamn paranoia anymore."
"Then don't live with it."
"What, James, die? I'm not sure I don't want to but it's not a very friendly thing to suggest."
"That's not what I meant and you know it. I meant that you can trust people, if you want too."
"How? How do I trust someone when I don't know if they are going to betray me or not? If you have the answer please tell me because I can't find it."
"Trust in other people, the people in the order. Look, make the cause second, make the people first. It's that simple. You were friends when you were young, just remember that, and put your suspicions aside for a while."
"This is war, you can't just do that."
"But you can Remus!" James insisted.
Remus stood up, his face to the sunset. "No James, you can. I can't."
He walked off the red sun casting a bloody spotlight over him. James sighed and rested his head in his hands, shoulders slumped. "We are the evil." He muttered bitterly.
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AN: So that about us and evil. It could use a lot of revising so any tips would be appreciated. Thanks for reviewing.