haha my tf2 won't launch because my computer is a sad, sad piece of machinery. damn you steam. damn you *shakes fist*. well anyway, i'm a monster so i've abandoned my last fanfic and i'm starting another one kiddos :'). i found this pretty cool challenge by Kayuri Igrimakeon Pax, and i'm gonna do it. hopefully i wont abandon this one too- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It was an amazing day to be alive for 5-year-old Harry James Potter. It had been raining yesterday, and the miserable grey clouds had finally cleared away.

Harry hadn't left Privet Drive, or his cupboard, for a long, long time. And here he was, taking in the beautifully clear sky, jumping in puddles and having a great time, much to his aunt's dismay.

"Harry!" Petunia shrieked, while she tried to wipe a stray drop of water from her coat, "Stay out of the puddles!"

Harry ignored her, but he stopped after she slapped him to get her point across.

The rest of the trip to the park was filled with the violent protests of a certain Dudley Dursley. He was throwing a tantrum because he had to walk about 30 metres to the park.

Being a wet Thursday in the middle of February, the playground wasn't exactly the most popular haunt for gossiping mothers and their "normal" children, leaving Petunia feeling cheated and annoyed. She sighed and opened up the magazine she was keeping in her handbag. A good mother always came prepared.

"Go and play kids..." She muttered, already being distracted by how much of a bitch Stacy was being this week.

A vicious smirk spread upon Dudley's face as he imagined the horrible things that he was going to do to his cousin while they were unattended.

About twenty or so minutes later, Harry was lying face down in a puddle and crying. His cousin was cackling above him.

Dudley being the person he was, however, was easily distracted by the two figures he spotted on the horizon. "Look!" He gasped between giggles, "There's two freaks like you over there!"

Harry raised his head to get a better look at these two "freaks" as Dudley has so brilliantly put it. They kind of resembled Petunia and Vernon, in their own weird way.

One of them was about 6 ft tall, and had a scrawny build and crazed look in his eyes. He wore a pair of what Harry thought were called cargo shorts, and had a belt with what appeared to be tin cans strapped to it.

The other one, dwarfed his companion, at a height of about 7 ft. He was also larger than Vernon, which Harry had thought impossible until now. He was wearing an odd looking mask.

Harry giggled, because they were coming closer now, and they were scaring Dudley. Anyone who scared Dudley was okay in his book.

The shorter man threw something in his and Dudley's direction. In Harry's eyes, the sphere-shaped sparkling object was quite beautiful. Dudley's seemed to be of the opposite opinion.

Suddenly, Harry felt sluggish, and began to fall asleep. The odd gas rising from the sphere appeared to be doing the same to Dudley, so Harry gave in, and let the world go black.

"So, Roadie, what are we going to do with these two?" Junkrat exclaimed, while fiddling with what looked like the makings of a bomb. Roadhog sighed. "Jamie, we've been over this about-" Roadhog paused to count on his fingers, "12 times now. We've kidnapped them because they're the children of Grunning's director."

"Oooh-" Junkrat paused to look at the two unconscious children they'd left lying against a pile of boxes, "So, what was it again?" Roadhog let his head hit the table, and groaned- "I am not explaining this again, do what you want."

And so, Junkrat limped away from Roadhog to see if he could scare the kids. Very mature, I know. Jamison observed that one of them was much larger than the other, much like him and Roadie. The very thought caused him to giggle hysterically, which was followed by a long suffering sigh from the other room.

The smaller one woke up. He had large green eyes, messy black hair, and an odd-looking scar in the center of his forehead. He appeared to be about 3 years old. His eyes widened, seeing Junkrat up close, and promptly fluttered shut again. Hmm. He must have used a stronger formula than usual.

He got up from where he'd been crouching down to get a better look at them, and started to hobble out of the room. Only to stop dead in his tracks at the sound of crying. Which one was it? Junkrat spun around, and spotted that the larger one was in fact, wailing like a whale. This set Jamie off giggling again

The other child was kind of scary, Jamie observed. Build like a whale, greasy blonde hair, and a scrunched up face. Not the best looking child he'd ever seen. Probably six years old. He could've recognized him, and that might've been why he cried when the younger one didn't.

Junkrat stalked out of the room. It didn't matter. The walls of the small building they were staying in were soundproof, after all.

He paused at the soft sound of laughter that was spilling in from the other room. And of course, this was followed by an alarmed screech.

Jamie poked his head into the room to make sure they weren't dead (in fairness, kids could be doing anything when they're laughing).

The younger child was clutching what appeared to be a ball of fire, and was... playing with it..? The human whale had crawled over to the opposite corner and was screeching "Freak!" over and over like some kind of ritualistic chant.

'Maybe I'll keep the smaller one if it's parents don't pay up...' Junkrat thought, while biting his nails absentmindedly.

"RING! RING! RING!"

"So they've finally gave in." Roadhog muttered mostly to himself, picking up the ancient phone, "Who is this?"

"Vernon and Petunia Dursley! You know why we're calling, you, you-" The caller seemed to be mentally searching for the right word, "Freak! We want our Dudley back!"

Roadhog glanced back to the open door of the room that they were keeping the children in. Yes. Children. Definitely two of them. "What about your other child?"

"O-other child? No, no, we don't have another child, only Dudley. Only Dudley." They'd answered a bit too quickly for them to be telling the truth. Hmm. "Which one is yours?" Mako asked.

"Dudley is a growing boy, unlike the scrawny freak-" "Got it, pay up the $500, we'll leave him in the park where we found him." Roadhog promptly hung up, and put his head in his hands. "I'm a fucking criminal. I am not a social worker." He kept muttering this under his breath like a mantra as he marched into the other room to tell Junkrat.