A/N It's rare for me to do author's notes, let alone at the beginning of a story. Anyone who knows me knows that I suffer from CFS/ME and to so quite badly. I wanted to do this so that people understand what it feels like to live like this, sufferers are not lazy they are ill. I realised recently that people don't believe that it is a real illness and think you're just lazy or don't go to bed early enough. It is a real illness but one that little is known about just now and there's no cure, just management. Sufferers are constantly exhausted to extreme levels, they get very achy joints and most of all, no matter how much you sleep it makes you feel no better. By the end of this I hope you understand more about the illness and how it leaves sufferers feeling. Thanks for reading.
Beth x
Her body ached, she couldn't stop yawning and she couldn't concentrate. She was sat interviewing a suspect and yet she was barely functioning. It was a good job that Gerry was there taking over because she was too exhausted to take part. Work was becoming harder and harder now despite her determination to push through how she was feeling.
Everyday was a constant battle and it had been for the four years since she'd learnt about her dad's secret life. On it's own, she may have been strong enough to get through it but not with this added. Perhaps the funny bit in all of this was that the way she was now had stemmed from that trauma and her insistence that she was fine and that she wasn't really bothered. That's what the clinic had said anyway.
Life as a sufferer of CFS/ME was not an easy one. Sandra had continued to go to work but visits to the pub were now out of the question as by 5, she could physically do nothing but sleep. Walking up the stairs now felt like a marathon, leaving her achy and breathless by even half way up. Worse than all that though was the lack of understanding.
Her colleagues watched her just about get through everyday but they didn't know what was wrong. Sure, they knew her diagnosis but that meant little. It had never been something they'd heard of before and therefore in their mind, it didn't exist. Anyone looking in thought that she was lazy and had let herself go because that's how it appeared. Sandra had always been someone who took pride in the way she looked, but now she didn't have the energy. Make up was pointless as she was ready to sleep after having only applied half off it, and with yawning so much her eyes watered and her make up tended to run.
At her worst she'd yawn at least twice a minute, or at least that's what people who had observed her had told her. Other than the yawning and the letting herself go, there were no outward signs that anything was not as it should be and that's why people failed to understand the extent of the condition. If they stopped to listen to her, then maybe they'd realise just how much of a struggle it was. Maybe they'd understand just how hard she tried to push through the pain and exhaustion to try and be normal. Maybe they'd understand that all she wanted was to wake up one morning and feel well because really one morning isn't too much to ask for but with this condition it neared impossible to achieve.