AN: This story is connected to my other stories, The Frog Song and Rainy Days and Snowflakes, with different POV of course. :D
-Edited- I did some revision and add some more scenes. I hope it makes this story better. :)
Rating: T; Genre: Angst
The city of rain.
I once called my hometown that way.
The city was small, almost no bigger than a village. That's one of the reasons why most of the town folks knew each other. It was such a lovely city. Moreover, the rain I love comes more often than in the other cities.
It had been a long time since I left. Never have I thought that I would step on my home ground once again. I guess I missed her so badly.
From the clear window, I watched the scenery changed from cornfields to houses, then back again with cornfields. It never changes. It was beautiful like how it used to be.
Within minutes I arrived at the bus stop. I was so eager to meet her that I toppled when I got off from the bus.
Looking back and forth, I couldn't found her. I shook my head and laughed. No way she would be there. I left her for years; no way she would be there still waiting for me.
"Rena!"
I halted my steps. No way!
Slowly, I turned around.
She was there.
That silky short hair with parted bangs of hers, those cheeky grin yet awfully awesome smile, it didn't change over years. That boyish outfit fit her perfectly; she is as cool as always.
I miss you.
"I come back, Sae!"
XXX
The city didn't change. The barber shop around the corner of the street was still operating. I used to cut my hair there. The taiyaki shop uncle greeted me in surprise when I passed his shop. His trademark mole was still there on his face. His voice was still loud yet gentle. I reminded myself to pay his shop a visit later.
After around 5 minutes walk from the bus stop, I faced an intersection where I turned left. Three houses from the intersection was a Japanese restaurant, it was Sae's house.
"Irrashaimase—Oh my God, is that you, Rena-chan?"
The owner, who is Sae's mom greeted me as I entered the shop. She rushed to me then she shook my shoulder in disbelief. Fortunately, the restaurant was empty so no more people who would be rushing and shook me.
"When did you come? Why you didn't tell me that you're going to come?"
"Mom! Rena has just come here. She's tired, don't bombard her with questions."
True enough, Sae's mom made my head spin with her train of questions.
"I-it's okay, Sae."
"Oh my, sorry. I'm just surprised." Sae's mom released her grip.
"Geez, Mom. Stop over-reacting." Behind me, I felt Sae was furrowing her eyebrows, "anyway, I'll take Rena upstairs. Don't bother us!"
Sae took me hand in hand and then dragged me to her room upstairs. She was throwing death glare to her mom in the process. The thing I found funny. She didn't change.
"So, could you tell me what happened?" she asked me as soon as I dropped my body on the tatami.
"What do you mean?"
She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "you wouldn't come back here if nothing happened. Please Rena, I've known you for too long."
I averted my gaze. She was right. Something happened.
She was there. She never leaves. The longer she stayed, the more I afraid that I would one day hurt her. And I did.
I met her by coincidence, no, it was my dirty trick. She was going home in the rain, so I lent her my umbrella. I had my raincoat so I would be fine. She tried to mutter a thank you but I ran before she could say it. That was my first step.
I wished I didn't lend that umbrella. Neither had I purposively waited for her every single day at the bus stop.
She was always smiling when she saw me sitting there. The more she smile the more of guilty feeling crept to my heart. Her jokes were funny. They were silly to be exact. Being with her was comfy. She never fails to amuse me. Around her, I felt my shell was broken. I could be myself.
I told her that I love rain. She didn't. She said she like it but I knew she didn't. Too bad, this city is filled with so much rain, like my hometown does. But she never rejects my offer to drench ourself in the rain. She was so kind. And I was too cruel.
There were times, when she took me to her home. Her home wasn't too big yet not too small. It fitted perfectly for the three members of the family. Her mom's meatball spaghetti was delicious. She often protested about how her mom talked too much when I was at their home. But I could see the family love exchanges between them. I envied her.
"Tadaima. Ah, you're here, Rena-chan."
My eyes met a pair of big round brownish eyes. Along with it was a squirrel-like smile that welcomed me.
"Yuko-senpai." I greeted her.
"Hyaaa~ you are so cute."
She launched her attack. She began groping my, err, breast. I tried to pry her hands while her sister shooting her curses (and pieces of meatball). The only thing which could stop her was a hit on her head from a table-spoon her mom was currently holding.
"Stop being such a nuisance to our guest." Matsui Mama's voice was stern yet I detected a hint of chuckles in it.
"But Rena-chan is so cute, I can't stand it." My face reddened, not only from embarrassment, but also from the heat transferred from our close distance. She was hugging me and the touch sent me a tingling sensation.
"Just brush off, nee-chan. You make Rena-chan uncomfortable. Shooh shooh."
"Yada! I want to be with Rena-chan."
"Onee-chan!"
Seeing her pouting, she released her hug from me, to my disappointment.
"Fine, fine. As you wish. But we'll talk later right, Rena-chan?" she winked at me before she left. If only she knew that my heart couldn't stop beating so fast since she came. That wink KO'ed me.
"Geez, such a moron." She shook her head and continued eating her half-finished dinner.
I forgot to eat the rest of my spaghetti. My mind was too occupied to a certain person, Matsui Jurina's half-sister, Oshima Yuko.
XXX
Oshima Yuko was my senior in high school. Like how I was Jurina's 2 years older senior, she was 2 years older than me, and she was my inspiration.
I knew her when I entered the school. I was broken at the time. Poor, broken, homeless, and moreover, had just lost what was the most important thing for me, no, for girls.
She was great. For other people though, she was a rebel, but a genius delinquent. She grew in unfortunate situation, born from a mistress of Jurina's late father. Her life changed though, when she was taken to the Matsui household when she was about to enter high-school.
I saw her as a genius pianist. The rebellious yet awesome pianist. My best-friend, Yuki, admired her. And so I did.
She wasn't the easiest person to be approached to. For most of us, freshmen, she was so distant. Despite her soothing eyes when she played the piano, her eyes were icy cold when she fought. Yes, she was often involved in gang fight. And rumors said, only her sister who could stop her from fighting.
I tried to talk to her several times but I couldn't. I didn't have the courage to.
Time flies, she was getting a scholarship to a university in the capital. She was going to leave yet I hadn't move any inch closer to her. So I used her sister.
Jurina was much easier to approach.
XXX
"Do you like the rain?"
"I do."
She smiled. Another smile that broke my heart. The more she smiled to me the more I hurt her.
She was totally transparent. Everyone could see how she was madly in love with me.
I begged her to stop. I begged her to stop loving me. Yet it was all in my mind. I couldn't say it.
"Rena-chan, you come again."
I was at the Matsuis home when her sister came. She was on her holiday from the music university.
"What have you been doing?"
Her cheeky grin crumbled my resolution to pieces. I couldn't stop loving her. I couldn't tell her little sister that I was just messing with her.
"Something wrong, Rena-chan?"
Her smile turned to a pout. She caressed my cheek, wiped away my tears. I didn't realize that I was crying.
"Why are you crying?"
She sat beside me. Her muffler was half hanging on her neck. She was taking it off when she halted and forgot what she was about to do.
"Did something happen?"
She looked at me with those brown orbs that I really like. Her eyebrows were perfectly framing her eyes, even though it was furrowed.
"Rena-chan, stop crying. You look better when you smiled." Again, she smiled. Her calloused fingers were stroking my hair gently. I leaned in to the touch. If only it could last forever.
"Do you get into fight with Jurina? You know, she's hard sometimes, but she truly loves you."
No! You're wrong!
I couldn't hold it anymore. I took my bag and excused myself. She looked confused but she said she understood when I told her it had nothing to do with her sister.
I ran. I ran as soon as I stepped on the asphalt. The smiling moon was mocking at me.
XXX
It was raining when I reached my apartment. Back to the cold room of mine.
"Tadaima."
No one answered. It should be.
"Okaerinasai. Long time no see, Rena."
I was stunned. I knew that voice. It was familiar. No, it was more than familiar. Even though I haven't heard it for more than 2 years, it was like yesterday. My mind betrayed me as it began to replay the memories I wanted to erase the most.
"You look healthy."
I turned around, as slowly as I can. I wished the time would stop. I wished it wasn't happening. But it did.
My utmost fear was there sitting in my couch. Grin was plastered on his face. His leg was crossed at each other.
"Don't you miss me?" He smiled, showing me his yellow teeth,
Panic began to kick in. My hand was trembling. I felt beads of sweat running through my back, mixed with water drops from the rain earlier.
"You've become prettier, Rena."
He stood up and approached me. I backed off as he was getting closer, until my back touched the kitchen's table.
"Shall we have fun again? Like the other day."
His whisper sent electric jolt all through my body. All parts of my body began trembling, because of the cold from the rain and because of his stinky breath that was blown to my ear.
His hand was up. He was going to caress me. He was going to devour me. He was going to taint me like he did 2 years ago. He was going to break me, for the second time.
"NO!"
It happened so fast. I took the knife from the kitchen, the sharpest of all. Without hesitation, I stabbed him, again and again.
He was screaming for help. He was screaming for mercy. My father was screaming for me to stop. I didn't.
Blood was gushing out from his wound, stained my uniform. Strange enough, I was giggling. It burned me with excitement. I didn't stop, even though he was now unmoving. I didn't want to. He deserved it. He deserved to feel the despair I felt this last 2 years.
I stopped after no drop of energy was left. I was breathless, yet I was laughing. I was laughing like a maniac. It was so damn enthralling.
For minutes I kept laughing, until I was out of energy to laugh. I looked around. My white carpet had turned red. Some of my furniture was broken. And I was drenched in the stinky red liquid.
"Rena! What have you done?!"
I looked at the open entrance. Stood there was my caretaker. She was the one who helped me escaped from this man years ago.
"Shinoda-san…" Her voice calmed me. It brought me down from my high.
She approached me and took the knife from my hands. She threw it to the other side of the room. She then checked on me. When she was sure I was okay, she checked on the body beneath me.
"He's alive." said her, I caught a hint of relieve in her voice. She took her phone and dialed a number.
"Yes. Could you come here? Yes. Her house. Okay." She hung up her call.
She sighed and then she took the emergency kit from the cupboard, I wondered how she knew I put it there. She bandaged the man's wound and then she taped him to the floor. Maybe she was afraid he would suddenly wake up and attack us.
"You! Come with me!"
She dragged me to the bathroom. In the matter of seconds, she had finished undressing me. Without waiting for the water to get warmer, she flushed me with water. In silence, she cleaned me until no blood scent was left on my body.
XXX
The next day, I was walking to the bus stop. I wondered myself why I went there. I had a thousand and one reason against me coming. I even wore my uniform, in spite of not attending the classes. My feet automatically brought me there, like other every single day.
As usual, she was waiting for me there. She was playing with a green frog doll. I guessed she knitted it herself. She looked so happy that she couldn't stop giggling.
What is this feeling?
My chest hurt, so much. It throbbed and I couldn't stop it. I felt like I was going to vomit. Why was that? The longer I looked at her the more I felt my lungs were going to burst.
My eyes felt poignant. My eyes' lids were getting heavier. My view turned blur. Why is that… you keep smiling even though I keep hurting you?
She seemed to have noticed me coming as she hurriedly hid the doll. She showed me her row of white teeth, but soon she left it agape. She put her doll down and ran to approach me.
"Rena, what happened?"
She held my hands. Too tight, too warm, too comfortable, it contain too much care. I didn't deserve it.
The tears were running down through my cheek. It was not my intention to cry. Not it front of her. She must not know. She must not care. She…
She enveloped me in her embrace. It shook me. My throbbing heart was beating even faster. Her strokes on my hair were soothing. Her scent was alluring. I took a liking for her natural scent since quite a long time ago. It hit me hard. I like it so much. No, I love it.
Her way to sooth my pain was like her sister. Yet it was different. I thought I didn't want it, I thought I was just playing around. But, I fell to her protective embrace. She didn't know a thing yet she held me like I was the most precious thing in her life . It hurt me. I hurt her too much.
I wrapped my hands around her waist. It didn't matter. What had happened last night didn't matter. In that moment, I was with her and she stayed with me. It didn't matter. Let me be by her side for that single moment.
XXX
I shouldn't have come. I should have gone immediately after Shinoda-san told me to go back to my hometown. I shouldn't have moved my feet to the bus stop. She was there. She looked worried. Her usual charming grin wasn't there. I hurt her. More and more.
"Jurina."
She wasn't expecting me to come. Her shocked expression was funny. I couldn't help but laughing.
"You're drooling, silly."
I wiped her mouth. She could be so childish some time. Her cheek was flushed. It made my smile grew wider. She was so interesting. I won't get bored to be with her all the time.
The bus came, too fast.
We took the steps to our usual seat. The rearmost seat at the back. There, we could chat more freely, not to mention we could see the scenery from the back as the bus moving.
"Hey, I dare you to sing the frog song, could you?"
She raised her brow at her sudden challenge.
"Of course! There's no song I can't sing!"
She began to sing. It was nice to listen to her voice. She should have taken the music program when she entered the school. She could be a good soprano. Or maybe not.
"You're off tune."
"Hee. I think I sang it quite well." She scratched the back of her head, oh, she should see her own face, "listen to me carefully. You are not paying attention, that's why."
She began to sing again. It was even worse than the first one. She moved her brows along with her face muscles as she sang. Rather than singing, she looked like she was making weird face. It was funny. I couldn't help but to laugh.
I laughed until my breath left my lungs. I forgot about him. I forgot about my awaiting journey. She was there, so I stopped moving.
She stopped when she lost her breath. Her face turned red after the exercise.
"Congratulation! You're tone deaf!"
She furrowed her eyebrows.
"I'm not. It was just you who couldn't listen properly."
She turned her face away in a funny way. She was pretending to be angry.
I laughed it off, "Yes yes. You're not tone deaf, you're a good singer, Ju-ri-na-chan!"
I pinched her cheek in a playful manner, forced her to smile. It made her face even funnier.
"Good! Now you realize! I'm the diva, Juritan!"
She held her hands high, mimicking the pose of a superstar (which I found more like the Statue of Liberty).
"Yes, the diva, Matsui Jurina."
My statement made her smile. Her trademark smile.
The bus was coming to a stop. My heart sank. It was our parting. Maybe forever.
"See you tomorrow!" she said cheerfully as we took off from the bus.
I was pondering whether I should tell her or not. But her cheeky grin assured me for a decision.
"See you tomorrow, Jurina."
I couldn't.
Her figure was getting smaller until it melted with the darkness. My hands stopped waving. My smile faded. I would not see her again. She would not see me again.
I turned around and walked home. It was just occurred to me that not even once the name of Oshima Yuko crossed my mind that day.
"Oh my, Rena! You have gone through a lot!"
Sae embraced me in her hug. I'd concluded my story. She seemed pretty shaken. She must be. I left my hometown years ago, leaving her and my relatives. When I came back, I came with another gloomy story,
"It's okay now. You are saved here."
I was stunned. I was not my intention to stay. I didn't want to.
"I can't stay here. I don't want to be a burden for you. Beside, he would know if I stay here."
"Don't be silly! You're no burden. You can't keep running. You need a place to stay."
She warped her hands on my cheek. It was her way to show that she was serious.
"I..."
"Don't go, Rena. I miss you so much. I never stop thinking about you since you left 3 years ago. I need you here."
Her hug was protective, like an older sister. No. It was different. And yet, I couldn't return her feeling. I couldn't, yet I engulfed myself in her warmth. I hugged her back. For now. Just for now, I'll be here. Until I could compose myself and I could go back to where I belong.
It was raining. The rain always welcomed me. The name of the city of rain fitted this city as well as my hometown.
I was wondering myself, why I was coming back there. I lived comfortably in my hometown but one day I decided to go back, after 3 years had passed. I made a promise to myself that I would come back. But I never think I would be swayed with the warmth of the people in my hometown that I forgot it for years. Sae was persisting that she needed to come along. I used quite a lot of persuasion skill to keep her staying home. I needed some time alone.
Now I know why I love this city. It smells like rain, more than my hometown. I only live here for a few years and yet it had a magnet that made me homesick.
I took my first step leaving the bus stop. I was going to meet her. It won't take long to reach her house. Her home was close to the bus stop.
However, what I saw startled me. The fence was rusty, like it wasn't painted for years. All the plants and flowers were died. It was Matsui Mama top priority, she wouldn't let them untended. Moreover, the nameplate was gone. The kanji of Matsui wasn't on the place where it usually hung.
"Matsui Rena."
I turned around to meet an icy stare. I almost jumped in surprised. Fortunately, I could still compose myself.
"Watanabe Mayu."
"What are you doing here?" her voice tone was cold. She was well-known as the cyborg, but she didn't usually talk that way to me.
"I—"
"—am looking for Jurina?" her voice turned sarcastic. Did I do something wrong?
"Yes. But what—"
"She died."
I was stunned.
"You…" she stammered, "YOU KILLED HER!"
I was taken aback. Her voice sent gigavolt shock to my bone. She was what?
She was now wailing. She was sobbing but I couldn't calm her. I was nailed to the ground. My head was spinning.
"Sorry it took me so long, Mayu. Are you co—"
Behind her, was my best—ex best-friend, Kashiwagi Yuki. In her hands, were two cup of coffee. Her eyes widened when she saw me.
"Rena…"
XXX
In front of me was a tomb stone, Matsui's family tomb stone.
My head felt so light.
Mayu's words were ringing on my head. She was right. I killed her.
Her mom moved to the city where her eldest daughter was. She left the city of rain that couldn't wash off her scar. It had been a year since she died. No, I killed her. Not the bus, not her, but it was me.
I never realize. When I did, it was too late.
Her smile. Her laugh. Her failed jokes. Those were memories.
I never realize. It wasn't her who was trapped in my charm. I was.
Slowly but sure, her persona changed her sister's. I never realize. I denied it. Silly me.
In my palm was a doll. A knitted doll of frog. The green color of it had slightly faded. Yuki gave it to me. She said it was for me. I was silly. I should have come back earlier. I left her freezing alone in the rain. I was too late.
"It must be cold."
"Your body must be trembling."
"Were you frozen?"
"Your hand must have turned numb."
"It must be hurt."
"I am sorry, Jurina."
How come the tomb was located near a cliff?
Because it was the perfect place to follow your dearest.