A/N i changed some stuff in this chapter, i like it better but it's not perfect. Feedback appreciated! I'll upload cp3 sometime on saturday. I have schoolwork to do.
Marco Diaz.
Marco Diaz was just your standard nerdy antisocial but not necessarily unpopular overachieving, secretly depressed high school student. He has made straight A's since he started receiving grades (with a moderate amount of effort), excelled at karate to the highest belt offered at his dojo, he's cautious and constantly aware of the dangers around him. (a trait which has earned him voted safest kid at school) his awareness of dangers often stresses him out and sort of mystifies him when others seem oblivious to threats.
Marco is an only child whose family often takes in foreign exchange students. (Though it's been some years since they've had a new one) Marco often develops friendships with the foreign exchange students that die off once they move away. Marco has little consistent friends (really only two) However he often feels excluded as they shared little interests. These friends marco holds close to his heart but he knows that eventually they'll move on. Marco actually decided that the next exchange student they get he'll try and be more reserved and not become to attached.
Marco was generally happy up through elementary school having little trouble with homework, friends or family. He started middle school and was mostly shocked when life seemed to get exponentially more difficult. He started being bullied because of his acne (really bad acne that's since cleared up.) he maintained extraordinary grades primarily to escape from having to deal with the bullies he simultaneously maintained a cheery facade around his parents to keep them happy and off his back. He eventually stumbled on the habit of keeping the facade around his peers to avoid appearing vulnerable. Upon starting high school Marco recognized a chance for a new start, he quickly distinguished himself as the most diligent and intelligent student in his grade. This had the dual effect of shielding him from bullies as pretty much everyone would usually need help on homework and making him well known enough to be noticed. This in all honestly caused him stress but was confident enough that he could and would deal with it effectively.
Marcos parents were loving and ever proud of their son and couldn't even begin to recognize his demons.
Marcos appearance is inseparable from that of a red hoodie and jeans. At first he just thought he looked good in them but then they started to serve a purpose. In 7th grade Marco fell into a deep depression, due to a combination of his crush(Jackie) dating someone else, a lack of friends to keep company (and to talk to) not eating, and overworking himself. Marco started cutting. He started out of self hatred. He hated how awkward he was, he hated his indecisiveness he hated that he loved the reliability of a schedule he wrote out for himself. Marco hated that he didn't want to stand out. Marco hated his two face nature, he hated lying to his parents and everyone around him. Marco hated that he wasn't strong enough to deal with his emotions properly. Marco hated. Marco wore hoodies so his teachers wouldn't be concerned and marco thought that nobody really paid attention enough to notice any new idiosyncrasies. It was sad but similar thoughts persisted in the head of marco.
Upon the new beginning that was high school wanted to stop cutting and resolved to. In a fit of superstitious nature uncommon to Marco's character he made a promise with the moon. Along with deciding to be healthier Marco jumped at the opportunity to take psychology and since then he's delved deeper than even the teacher. Marco about 3 weeks into the school year compiled a list of possible mental illnesses he had. (Including OCD as he frequently fell into thought spirals, obsessively kept all aspects of his life in check and constructed a carefully planned out schedule months in advance, depression due to his suicidal thoughts and self harm as well as some form of social anxiety -he hadn't pinpointed a specific type yet.) however shortly after convinced himself that they were misdiagnosed as he couldn't have accurately judged himself.
At the end of 8th grade each student had been voted for a title, Marco won safest kid. It wasn't the worst thing ever but definitely not what Marco wanted to be known by. Marco thought this ''award' was an afterthought only given to him as an afterthought. Something akin to a participation award.
As part of Marcos determination to be better and not cut himself Marco enrolled in every club that would take him as to distract him. This made him a favorite among teachers and the principal. This also complicated his delicate schedule, Marco planned a weekly movie night to keep himself sane, and give himself something to look forward to. Marco also took up meditation as a supplement of sorts to his karate.
Despite all of Marcos efforts he still struggled with his demons. After being two months cut free (since school started)he did it again on a Wednesday night. Sitting in his bed Marco was overcome with a wave of self-doubt and self pity. He had little friends, never had a girlfriend, couldn't for the life of him figure anything out about the world, quadruple checked his work on anything to avoid being wrong. Marco obsessed over these unhealthy thoughts. Despite all the changes in his life Marco was still upset internally and cutting was the only way he ever externalized those feelings. Marco felt awful all his progress ruined, his life destroyed in a single night no one could ever stand him he thought, nothing mattered everything was terrible. Marco rolled his eyes and felt tears he can't even be depressed properly his thoughts felt to cliche and almost alien. Marco finally resigned to silently cry himself to sleep. He awoke glad that red was the color of his sweatshirts.
Parallel to Marcos story thus far has been another, that of star butterfly.