WHAT IF HARRY POTTER HAD MAGIC WEAPONS INSTEAD OF WANDS?

It was a new rage. Young wizard and witches now channeled their magic with magical weapons instead of wands. Harry and his friends were admiring their new additions.

Harry: And the most awesome thing about this spear? I can also ride it like a broom! And I don't have to buy new ones each year, since these weapons grow better as we grow better as wizards! It's amazing.

Ron: That's quite clever. I myself am just happy with the sword. Swords are awesome. Makes my old wand look like a stupid drumstick. Not the chicken leg, actual drum sticks…though I'm suddenly craving chicken now. But Hermione…seriously?

Hermione was holding a huge pen-like weapon.

Hermione: I'm a bookworm, what did you expect?

Neville: I got a shield…I hoped a more…offensive weapon had chosen me.

Harry: No worries Neville. A shield has great uses too.

Draco: Yeah, so you can hide behind it like a little bitch!

Draco Malfoy and his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle were behind him. Draco held a pimp cane weapon, while Crabbe and Goyle had a gauntlet weapon, Crabbe on his left hand and Goyle on his right.

Draco: My weapon is far less conspicuous, it is more about style and elegance. And noble. I am from nobility, did I mention that?

Harry: Only every bloody minute of every bloody hour of every bloody day.

Neville: I am not a little bitch.

Draco: If you were any more of a bitch, you'd be a dog, Longbottom.

Neville: At least I don't have frosted tips!

Draco: That does it! Get him Goyle!

Goyle rushed forwards to punch Neville, whom held out his shield. Goyle's armored fist hit it and it made Goyle wobble form the backlash of hitting the solid thing. After he stopped he tried punching with his normal hand, but Neville pulled up his shield again, and Goyle hurt his fist. He screamed before pulling his foot back. He kicked, but hit the shield again, hurting his foot. He hopped on one leg as Malfoy facepalmed.

Draco: Use your head, Goyle!

Goyle decides to use a headbutt…and hurt his head butting the shield.

Neville: I think I like this thing now.

Draco: I am surrounded by idiots.

Hermione: Takes one to know another.

Luna: Hey guys, what is up?

Ron: Admiring our weapons, until Dork-o decides to ruin the mood.

Draco: Oh look, it's Looney Lovegood. What do you have for a weapon? A whistle that summons non-existant Snorcracks?

Luna: I have a whistle, but it is not my weapon. (She pulls out a rocket launcher) This is!

Draco: Is that what I think it is?

Luna blasted Draco and his cronies with her weapon, and they all were black and scorched.

Crabbe: Yeah, that was what you thought it was…(faint)

Draco: My father will hear about this! (faints too)

Goyle: Pudding! (faints)

Harry: Whoa…

Ron: Remind me to not tick you off.

Luna: It was quite an experience getting it. It was odd, when I took it with me to the other shops they took a look at it and gave me a discount…those shopkeepers appeared really twitchy. Oh well, who wants pudding?

Harry: Pudding sounds good.