Timeline: 7x04 Amor Fati

Category: Post-episode fiction

Author's Note:

In season eight we were informed via flashbacks that Scully had tried IVF seemingly without success. She had asked Mulder to be the donor and he had accepted. The timing of these flashbacks was made unclear…just as so many annoying details were left unclear in the final two seasons, but I digress. In my little world, I would place these events somewhere between "Amor Fati" and "Millennium". Of course, only "Hungry" fell between these two episodes, and while this fic gives no reference to "Hungry," I'm assuming that the IVF treatments were ongoing during that time period. I assume they had already failed by the time of "Millennium". I also assume that there was more time between "Amor Fati" and "Millennium" than is made evident by the airing schedule, since New Year's typically doesn't fall in November, when "Millennium" originally aired! So, presuming more time would allow for these events to occur in the meantime.

This fic also fits within my Cursing Miracles universe, but it isn't necessary to have read CM to understand this fic and vice-versa. It takes place a couple of months prior to the events described in part one

Chapter One

"What have you got there?" Mulder asked, looking up from his desk to see Scully pausing thoughtfully over something that had arrived in their daily office mail.

"It's a collection for Agent Milton's family."

Agent Milton had died in the line of duty a few weeks prior. It wasn't unusual to receive a notice like this after a fellow agent had died. Someone close, sometimes a partner, would organize a fund for the agent's kids' college costs or something similar.

Scully seemed overly focused on a letter that contained the kind of requests she should have been accustomed to at this point. She held onto the letter, staring at it, as if some deeper meaning would be revealed from its surface. She kept breathing deeply, as if she was regulating her breath to prevent herself from breaking down into tears—a very un-Scully occurrence.

"There's one for you too," she said walking slowly to his desk and handing him a duplicate letter.

She was only too aware how close she'd come to losing Mulder, and the letter asking for a donation to help this man's family brought that all back to her in a rush. Except, if Mulder had died, there would be no Fox Mulder Fund for her to set up and send out to fellow agents in the daily office mail. Mulder had already sacrificed his life to the cause, even if he was still here in front of her. He had no wife, no children, no life outside of these walls.

The same could be said of her. No husband, no kids, no life…but she was attempting to change that. She was making a desperate play for a shot at having a child. And Mulder was a part of that. He couldn't have been, if she'd lost him. Everything would be different. Contemplating that thought for the hundredth time since he'd returned she felt simultaneously elated that he was still with her and deeply saddened by the costs they had both been made to pay.

Yes, she could have lost Mulder. The notion made her weak in the knees and brought her close to tears. She had to keep breathing deeply. Every time she lost him, she worked feverishly on his behalf, focusing her energies. He was back now, but the fears hadn't completely dissipated.

"I didn't even know he had a wife…let alone children," she said, leaning against her table and finally glancing up from the letter.

A wife who waited for him at home. Pretty little blond children who played in the backyard and didn't understand the danger their daddy faced when he left them in the morning.

"Well…we didn't really know him all that well."

"I thought I did. I mean, from what I knew of him, he seemed like a loner. Kind of the consummate bachelor."

Mulder shrugged. "I'll make a donation."

He didn't know what else to say to her. Yes, she certainly seemed oddly fixated on this man's death.

Scully had generally been in a rather upbeat mood of late. There was the letdown after the first round of cell transfers in her IVF treatment, but she'd rallied well from that and generally been very positive. So, her sudden dark mood mystified him.

"It would be like if you were secretly married," she said with a lopsided smile.

Mulder ducked his head and bit his lip. He wished she hadn't said that.

He could hear her walking around the table to her chair. If he let the moment pass, he'd really be caught lying to her—there would be no defense. He forced himself to speak.

"I have been." He swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry.

"What?" she asked, putting the letter down on the table and adjusting her chair.

"Married. I have been," he said, his voice still wavering as he looked directly at her.

Scully grimaced and awkwardly laughed. "Excuse me?"

"I was, I mean. I was married. Not anymore."

"Are you joking?"

"No, I was married to Diana."

Scully's lips parted briefly before she straightened up in her chair and set her jaw.

"So, you're a widower. You didn't think to mention this?"

"No. We were divorced. I was divorced when we met…you and me."

"I see," she said, turning on her computer and looking away from him.

He watched her and wished over and over that she'd never said anything. Or that he'd had the good sense to tell her years ago.

The blue of the screen illuminated her face. "I suppose that explains some things," she said flatly.

Except it didn't. Why hadn't Mulder ever mentioned this to her? She thought he told her everything. She thought he trusted her with the most intimate of information, but he'd never told her that he'd been married to Diana Fowley. And what had he done to that woman to make her repeatedly stab him in the back? Working with his enemies to promote a cause that Mulder spent his life fighting? She was nearly the death of him. Of course, she'd saved him and sacrificed herself. It did explain some things.

...

Tomorrow Scully was undergoing another round of cell transfers. Mulder had been with her for the previous attempt, but he wasn't sure where they currently stood; so, he hadn't said anything about the appointment. She'd been acting distant ever since he told her that he'd been married to Diana.

Part of him understood her reaction; the other part of him wanted to scream at her—you tell me nothing. He had the whole emotional scenario planned out in his head and memorized to perfection. He would finally tell her how miserable it made him that she kept so much to herself. That he knew nothing about her life before the X-Files. That she could have been married ten times over and he wouldn't have known it. That she made it impossible for him to share with her how he felt about her. But, you don't scream those sorts of things at a woman trying desperately to have a baby. Your baby.

They hadn't even talked about that all important detail. His sperm, half his zygote, but he was uncertain where he stood should a baby result. Daddy? Uncle Mulder? The tall guy mommy works with?

His cell phone rang and he sat up from his couch and reached for it. He was mentally chanting Scully's name, trying to force it to materialize on his caller ID.

No such luck.

He pressed the phone to his ear. "Hey, Frohike. What's hanging?"

"Glad I caught you, hombre. We're heading out for dinner and to chase the ladies. Wanna come?"

"You're kidding," Mulder said, rubbing his temples with his free hand.

"I'm sorry, are you suddenly taken?" Frohike asked.

"Single as ever, Melvin. The thought of you three out trolling the city just threw me for a second."

"I've still got my tango skills, señor."

"You're going to need them. Sorry, you're on your own tonight."

"Look, man, if you don't show, Byers is refusing to come."

"Smart guy."

"Just dinner. You haven't been around in weeks."

"I've been busy."

"With deliciosa Dr. Scully, I know. Not that I can blame you, but we've barely seen you since you woke up from your zombie-zone."

"Well, I'm not with Scully tonight." Mulder winced at the whine in his voice.

"Oh ho! Trouble in paradiso. A night with the boys is what you need."

"Where are you going?"

"Guajilo."

"The Spanish—got it."

"Just getting in el espíritu!"

"You've got to promise to cut that shit out. I'm not in the mood, Frohike."

"Alright, ixnay on the anishspay."

Mulder pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it with frustration. Why couldn't it have been Scully on the caller ID? He sighed and pressed the phone back to his ear.

"Fine…I guess since it's in my neck of the woods, I'll make an appearance." He touched his hand to his stomach, stretching. "I'm starving anyway."

Author's Note:

This story should turn out to be 3-4 chapters when completed.