I, Roommate II: Revenge of the Slob
The morning sun began to slowly raise above New New York, coating the Robot Arms apartment building in a warm reddish gold tint. It was truly a beautiful day in the making….
Fry's alarm began to go off, he rolled over to hit the snooze button and knocked over a finished 6 pack of Slurm cans onto the ground.
"Ahh whatever" He mumbled and rolled over covering his head with his drool cover pillow.
"Get out of bed you lazy bastard" A robotic voice called.
Fry emitted a long snore from under his pillow.
A pile of dirty socks began to move and out emerged his alarm clock with small robotic legs. The robotic clock started to walk across the disgusting terrain that was once Fry's bedroom floor. The small figure stepped into a puddle of what used to be milk, but time makes a fool of all of us in the end.
"Lazy slob…..this place is worse than the boob I woke up every morning before I was retro-figured in 2092…..what was his name…Homer Simpson yeah that's it." The clock said to himself.
He jumped up on Fry's bed and shocked him with a device causing the whole room to turn a brilliant white.
"Ok! Ok! I'm awake!" Fry said picking the clock up and reading the back of it. "I wonder who the hell Ned Flanders was…..guess that's what I get shopping at antique stores"
Fry stumbled into the shower to begin his weekly ritual of showering. His bare feet made contact with a pile of broken beer bottles.
'Yowch. Stupid Bender leaving alcohol everywhere." Fry picked up the fragments of glass and licked them. "Hmmm taste like Vodka. My mistake that was mine."
While Fry was in the shower Bender turned on the TV to get the lottery numbers.
"Morbo finds humans disgusting" The hideous big headed alien being bellowed.
"Ahh this show lost his touch when Kathy Lee Gifford's head got fired" The Robot said as he changed the channel.
The lottery was also played in the mornings now, along with the other 24 hours of the day.
"Come on 0-1-1-0, daddy needs a new pair of shoes"
The television announcer pulled out the first ball
"And this mornings first number is……….7!"
"7? That's not even a number in the binary code! This is an outrage, the lottery is rigged. Just like that bingo game I hold at the Senior Center. Lousy thieves, cant a hard working Bending bot catch a break?" Bender said to himself crumbling the lottery ticket into a ball and throwing it inside and slamming his chest plate closed.
Fry who had just finished his shower entered the living room wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt.
"Bender, you wouldn't happened to have seen my red jacket would ya?" Fry asked.
"Oh yeah hang on buddy, 10 more seconds" Bender said looking at a watch.
"10 seconds until what? And where did you get that watch what is that a Rolex?" Fry asked
"Cant a good buddy help out by doing some laundry? Yup it's a Rolex 500 buck a roos" The robot bragged.
"Where did you get that kind of money??!!" Fry asked
A buzzer started to sound. Bender opened his chest plate and pulled out Fry's familiar red jacket. Apparently Bender could also double as a dryer, another new tid bit about his robotic companion.
"Here ya go. Fresh as a daisy." Bender said. "Oh do you want starch that's extra"
"Gimme that!" Fry said putting it on. "You still didn't answer my question, where did you get that money. We got a notice yesterday of our final notice for missing rent and you come up with $500 all of the sudden. Are you selling orphans again?" Fry scolded his roommate.
"Rent money? I thought you were giving me that money out of friendship. Stupid broken emotion chip." Bender said knocking on his hollow head.
"Bender you make more money than I do at work! Why would I give you money!" Fry yelled.
A ding emitted inside of Bender.
"Breakfast muffin?" Bender asked pulling out a tray of freshly baked blue berry muffins.
"Yeah but don't think this makes it any better that you blew our rent on a expensive Rolex. It sure is nice though."
Bender showed Fry his watch.
"Wait a minute Bender. That says Romex….and it only has one hand!" Fry yelled.
Another ding emitted from Bender. He pulled a coffee cup out of his seemingly endless cargo space and put the cup up to his mouth. He reached up and pressed his antenna down spewing freshly brewed coffee into the cup.
"Who wants Coffee?" Bender asked.
A few hours later at work Fry was still furious. Bender had blown a months worth of pay for an interstellar delivery boy and they were facing eviction.
"Whats wrong with you Fry. You haven't even hit on me once today. I caught you looking at my boobs this morning but that was it" Leela said walking into the break room." Not that there isn't anything wrong with it, I haven't felt this uncreeped out going to work in years.
"Yeah I know. Bender blew our rent on a busted watch. We have to clear out of Robot Arms by midnight" Fry said crushing an empty can of Slurm onto his forehead.
"I know Bender is a great friend and all, but he is a thief, a liar, a racist, he wants to kill all humans for crying out loud Fry." Leela said pouring a cup of coffee.
"He sure is. But he's my thieving,lying,genecidal best friend. And there is nothing worse than a bad friend, I would never turn my back on him." Fry said throwing the can towards the trashcan missing.
Dr. Zoidberg scampered into the room.
"Oh I didn't know anyone was still in here. I was just looking for leftovers. Guess I'm not eating this week." The lobster like creature said.
"Dr. Zoidberg, Fry is getting kicked out onto the streets, do you have any room for him to stay until he gets on his feet again?" Leela asked. Fry gave her an angry look.
"My word yes. I've always wanted a roommate. Why we could stay up all night watching infomercials, drinking root beer and partying like its 1999." Dr. Zoidberg said rubbing his claws together.
"Uhhh but its 3006" Fry said.
"Well sorry. The only calendar I could afford was a 1999 one. Its not like doctors are a rich bunch, you delivery boys forget your roots and all the little people. My humble adobe would hardly meet your prima dona needs. I say nay to you good sir." The smelly and poverty stricken lobster mother wiggled his mouth tentacles and stormed out.
"I heard he lived in the dumpster across the street anyway" Fry said.
"Oh no he rents an old Victorian in New Jersey." Leela said. "That dumpster across the street has been on the market for years, he only slept in it during open house visits."
"Eww New Jersey. I'd rather take my chances on the streets thank you" Fry said with a snort.
A few more hours passed and it was time to close up the office. Fry walked out of the building and looked up at the sky.
"Well it is still warm. Weather looks good. Looks like we got a long night ahead of us Bender" He said.
"I'm living with Zoidberg, meat bag. He has HBO." Bender said patting Fry on the shoulder. "Heard he had a spare room. Hey it's a roof over your head. See ya tomorrow. Bender hailed a taxi and was soon gone.
Fry looked up into the sky and it suddenly turned grey and poured rain.
Leela came out of the Planet Express building and locked the door. Looking at her reflection she saw Fry.
"Oh Fry. I guess I could let you stay with me for a little while. It is raining and everything."
The Cyclops and hopeless idiot walked through the rain until they reached Leela's apartment building they took the elevator up.
"Oh I almost forgot, since you last saw my place I ha-"
"Let me guess its still unfurnished" Fry said.
"Actually I have. A few house rules. One, no shoes on the carpet. Two, No food in the living room and finally, clean up after yourself. Think you can do that? Leela said as the elevator reached her floor.
"No problem. Me and Bender are neat freaks." Fry said with a faint smile.
Somehow Leela doubted this. Although she had only been to Fry's apartment once, it was before he had moved in. His locker at work was always the recipient of the most disgusting locker award, an award which he won on a weekly basis, he even had a trophy.
"Well here we are 1i." Leela said.
"Wow you have 1 eye and your apartment is 1 i. What a coincidence." Fry said.
"Apparently those worms are all gone" Leela thought.
Fry began to step into the apartment with his muddy shoes.
"Ahh Fry, shoes, shoes!" Leela cried.
"Relax. These babies are brand new." Fry said looking down at his black high tops.
A loud squishing sound emerged from under his shoe as he stepped on the snow white wall to wall carpet.
"Whoa Lela what's that smell?" He asked.
Lela shoved Fry back and looked at her brand new carpet. He must have stepped in dog poop somewhere before entering the building.
"Lela I am so sorry, I didn't even know it was there I swear"
Leela started to grit her teeth and her temperature began to steadily rise. Maybe letting Fry stay for awhile wasn't the greatest of ideas but now she was stuck with it until the moron got back on to his feet.
"No problem, make yourself at home" Leela said while her stomach began to do somersaults.
"Just remember to follow my rules, and everything should be ok" She said.
Fry pulled of his red jacket and tossed it on the floor and tossed it on the floor, kicked off his shoes flinging them into Leela's brand new glass coffee table.
"I'll totally pay for that" he said with a grin.
This was going to be a long, torturing experiment indeed….
To be continued…