*Author's Note: Hello, everyone! This is my first Home and Away story! I just recently discovered the greatest relationship in television history, Aden and Belle, and I just had to write something for them. This is loosely based off of It's Gonna be Love by Mandy Moore (it's from A Walk to Remember). Also, I'm American so if I don't get some of the lingo quite right, my apologies in advance. Thanks, guys! Enjoy! :)
Last night was rough. I'm not gonna lie, I was fully prepared to call the whole thing off about an hour ago. At first I was completely heartbroken. I have loved this girl ever since I laid eyes on her. Now that I know what I know, I can't believe how much time I wasted having a go at her over the most ridiculous things. We've been through so much together and just when we were finally at a good place and nothing could tear us apart, I found out that something can.
After the sadness came the anger. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to her? Of all the people in the world, it had to be her. The only reason I'm a half-decent person today is because of her! Her love has saved me from myself. And I wish to God that my love could save her.
Because of the huge idiot that I am, I even began to get mad at Belle. How could she keep this from me until now? Was she really going to let me marry her not knowing that she was going to—How did she expect me to marry her now? Why didn't she tell me sooner? I could have helped her! Isn't that what I was there for?
I eventually realized how incredibly selfish I was being. I know why she did what she did. She just wanted to take one day out of her silent suffering to just be happy. It kills me that she's been handling all of this without me, but she is truly the strongest person I know. All of this has done nothing but make that clearer to me.
So I have come to the decision that I have to go through with it. I have to marry her. She is the love of my life and this cancer is not going to change that. I don't know how I'm going to get through this without completely losing it in front of everyone, but I have to do it for her. I have to be there for her. We've wasted too much time and I will not waste any more. I will be strong for her and I will not leave her side until I have no choice, no matter how much it tears me apart inside. As they say, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And I will pack so much love into these next days that it will feel like a lifetime. I will do this for her.
Belle P.O.V.
I can't do this to him. I can't do this to him! I can't do this to him. I can't do this.
It's just so unfair to him. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. Who gets married to someone just to be together for a few months? This will destroy him. This will destroy me.
If we go through with this, what kind of married life will we have? I'll spend the whole time faking smiles and being more exhausted than I have ever thought possible, and he'll spend it watching me fall apart. Watching me wither away; day by day; hour by hour. I cannot subject him to that. I would not wish that on anyone.
How could I be so selfish? How could I be so stupid to think that this was going to happen? Why did I propose to him in the first place when I knew all of this? When I knew what was happening to me? Who does that?
He's probably not going to be there anyway. For as long as I live, I will never forget the look on his face before he pulled his hand out of mine and left that hospital room. I watched his heart shatter right in front of me. Why didn't I tell him? I'm sure I had a reason. After all, I always come up with a good reason not to tell him. I didn't tell Aden that I had a drug problem because I thought it was under control. I didn't tell Angelo that I was still in love with my ex because I needed him for that stupid development site scandal. God, lot of good that did me. I always justify it somehow. But I could never justify that face.
I can't expect him to be there waiting for me. If the roles were reversed, I don't know if I could be there waiting for me. Not after finding out like that. What was I expecting anyway? Was I just going to have him marry me without knowing anything? Was I going to let him think that we were going to have kids, get a puppy and live happily ever after? Grow old with each other? Was I going to let us get married and then drop a bomb on him on the honeymoon? "Oh by the way, babe, I'm dying. No, we can't celebrate our marriage; I just don't have the energy." What is wrong with me?
That settles it. I can't go through with it. I almost want to call Nicole and get her to tell my guests for me; but I know I can't do that. I have to go over there and face them myself. I have to tell everyone.