The can opener 2000

by Bubbly Goddess

my complaint to thecan opener 2000, I would like to thank my spell check ,Jessica for stopping me from looking like a total retard

Bubbly Goddess

101 meme drive

Transylvania, WR 21212

Canopener, Inc.

101 Beavershop Drive

Greenwich, NY 28345

Dear Sir or Madam;

I am writing to inform you of the breakdown of one of your products. I purchased the "Magic Can-opener 2000" a week ago. The first time I attempted to use my "Can-opener 2000" it malfunctioned. I attached it, as instructed on the directions, to a can of crushed pineapple. When I pressed the start button the "Can-opener 2000" started to spin the crushed pineapple extremely quickly. The pineapple came flying out of the can, getting all over the kitchen. Once all the pineapple was out of the can your machine then threw the can. It flew into a glass cabinet shattering it and causing over $1400000000000000 worth of damage. Only good fo0rtune saved me and other members of my family from injury. I expect full reimbursement for the damage your product has caused. I hope to hear from you soon on this matter. Thanks you for your help.

Sincerely,

Bubbly Goddess

P.S. Here is a list of damages:

8 crystal sherry cups, $17,000,000

1 17^th century teapot, $45,600

6 17^th century teacups,$231,456,000

rest for emotional damage