Hi guys! So this story is a story of basically me escaping reality. It's triggering, so don't read it if you will be affected in any way. I hope you enjoy and PLEASE review! Thank you.(:

A/N: I don't own Glee or any of its characters. (I wish I did though.)

"Do you know what I think you are?"

My breath was hitched in my throat, unreleasing because I was breathless. What Finn was saying stopped the oxygen pumping through my blood and left it there, motionless. While, I, on the other hand, felt dead inside. I was so numb that nothing really mattered anymore.. Or so I thought.

What does he know? His judgment is purely nothing to me, I tried to push the negativity out of my mind, and think of how he was just another dumb boy I slept with. Finn didn't understand anything about girls.

"A coward."

That was breaking point. Coward stabbed me repeatedly, letting the blood sputter and slide down my back painfully. It left me empty and alone.

What hurt the most was how everyone's judgement and opinions did matter to me. My reputation and self image were controlled by it. Those words of either negativity or positivity influenced the way I thought and those tiny voices inside of my head. The voices would echo and repeat the judgement, pushing to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore.

The only thing I knew was to keep my mask on; solemn and unaffected of what was just said while everyone else turned around and shifted their eyes to Finn and I, shocked that I wasn't beating him up or replying with a snarky comment of mine.

The last period bell bounced off the walls of the hallways and everyone flew off, muttering under their breaths about what had just happened.

I stood there, feet planted into the cold tiles of McKinley High and staring at the bland, white sneakers of my Cheerio uniform. My shaking hands grasped onto the backpack hanging off of me.

I couldn't go to last period Glee Club. It was the last thing I wanted to do now. Something better was in mind.

"Alright, this week's assignment is-" Mr. Schuester rushed into the room filled with the familiar maroon chairs filled with all familiar faces. He was too overwhelmed to see that one face was missing. He clapped his hands together, shifting his vest a little and moved to uncap a Expo marker to write on the board.

"Wait Mr. Schue, Santana is missing," Brittany cut in with concern in her face and in the blue of her eyes. She knew Santana was going through something, but she didn't push it because she just knew she wasn't a feelings person. The brunette was definitely not someone to spill her problems and expose them to the world around her. Not even to Brittany.

Quinn also understood something was wrong. Afterall, they were all best friends; the Unholy Trinity. Both Quinn and Brittany knew it was weird of Santana to miss Glee Club because she once said, 'Glee Club is like an escape for me. I sing and wash all of my stress away.'

Mr. Schue looked confused. Since when was Santana known to ditch Glee?

"Quinn, Brittany, please go look for her. It's really odd for her to miss last period. I even saw her at lunch," He furrowed his brow and became a little worried of one of his strongest voices.

Brittany caught a little glimpse of Finn, shifting around in his seat even though his arm was around a distraught Rachel Berry. Something bad must've happened for Finn to look that guilty and Santana to miss her favorite activity.

I finally caught some energy and dragged my feet down the hallway. A pencil sharpener lie on the floor, calling my name. It was tempting, and soon enough I gave in.

Slowly, I bent down and picked it up numbly. Thoughts flowed through my head like a stream down a waterfall; fast and not stopping. My body didn't feel anything. Apparently, my senses weren't working correctly. My nose didn't release any living air. It didn't bring the carbon dioxide into my body, and didn't release the oxygen. My mouth was as dry as Egypt in the summer. No taste, no saliva, nothing. My ears were ringing with those voices in my working mind. Last, but not least, the only thing I could see was the blade of the sharpener waiting for me.

My hands were brought up above my head and released the plastic sharpener in a swift move, smashing it into pieces. The only thing left in one whole piece was the blade.

Perrfect. The voices purred and laughed at me, like I was the joke of the town.

My feet were picked up off of the tiles and I ran them to the bathroom. Opening the wooden door, a sly smile broke out on my face, slightly happy no one was there to catch me.

The smile was immediately erased as my dark, lustful eyes glared holes into the mirror. They broke out into emotionless tears, "What's happening to me?" I gasped out. My voice wasn't heard by anyone, I was alone. Always have been, always will be. Except Brittany..

The beautiful, blonde popped into my mind, stopping the gears turning in my head. Her sky blue eyes made my heart melt its icyness and showed a different side of me. The way she flipped her cute, little bangs made me weak in the knees. I imagined her, telling me to stay strong for her.

I wish I could Brit, but something's are just impossible.

I knew I was wrong, but the voices took over. My eyes cried more silent tears and let them slide down my cheeks, smudging my mascara.

The real me reflected into the mirror. My mask was ripped off of my face, and I stood there exposed in the light.

Your ugly, Santana. Nobody would want you looking like that. Get yourself together! You really think Brittany would want to touch that fat body of yours? What's wrong with you? Oh wait, a lot of things, the voices snickered and tore me down. I knew I shouldn't have listened to them, but what do I have to lose?

The blade felt hot in my hand, burning through my skin. It was screaming to be used. It was the only thing that gave me that little feeling of long lost happiness for a few minutes. It made me feel proud for once.

I finally picked it up out of my shaking hand and glared at it coldly. The numbness froze my body over and I felt absolutely nothing, but darkness.

I pushed my bracelets out of the way and slid it across my wrist multiple times, releasing the motionless blood and the emotions trapped inside. The voices finally stopped and let me have that powerful moment of silence that I longed for. The bubbles of the red fluid popped out of my skin and smiled at me. Finally, I felt satisfied. Satisfied that my body was eventually relieved.

My lips broke out into a curl and smiled back at the fluid pouring out of my pale, weak wrist. My relieved body slid down the bathroom's wall and my puffy eyes closed themselves.

"Quinn, I'm really worried about her. What happened before last period?" Brittany frantically searched every corner of every hallway.

"I don't know, Britt. I'm just as dumbfounded as you are, but I'm worried too. What if something bad happened to her?"

A frightened feeling took over the dancer's body and she couldn't help but release a little tear. She loved Santana and absolutely despised the idea of her being hurt in any way. Even if it was just a paper cut or a small scratch.

The two best friends roamed the halls in a panic, when suddenly they heard a voice cry out. Both Quinn and Brittany widened their eyes in fear, hoping it wasn't the brunette they knew and cared for.

"Oh no.." Quinn broke the silence and ran after Brittany to the McKinley High girl's bathroom.

"Santana?" Brittany gasped out, and Quinn knew it had to be bad.

So, did you like it? Give me an idea on how you want this story to take direction! I have a clear idea, but I love hearing from you! REVIEW and tell me what you thought. This story reflects a dark side, I guess. Not all things in life are fluffy and easy, right? So I wanted to cover most teenage issues in this generation and create a sad, but interesting story. I hope you enjoy and I hope you review so I find the motivation to continue it.

Thank you so much.

xoxo-Anna