"The city of Gotham, a vile den of criminals, but I promised to protect it. The Joker's explosives almost got me back in that warehouse, but he forgot one very important thing. I'm fucking Batman." Thought the Caped Crusader perched on one of the many gargoyles keeping watch over the streets. He heard a scream, a common sound in this dangerous part of town, but had to ignore it. he had to find the Joker before he could strike again.
A crack of what one would expect lightning's retarded cousin would sound like struck behind the Caped Crusader. He turned around quickly, expecting a rocket from one of Joker's henchmen or maybe firefly, with some new jetpack technology. Instead, a puff of smoke sat behind him, a good ten yards away. The smoke dissipated and Batman saw a man getting up from the ground, appearing to have fallen. He quickly thought about all the villains he had ever fought over the years, and concluded he had never seen him before.
The man stumbled up to batman, who tensed, ready for a fight. The Dark knight took a better look at the newcomer, noticing his clothing was almost entirely made from poorly stitched together materials. What looked like the remainder of a red cape was wrapped around his waist and midsection, and much to his alarm, the man's chest was covered in what looked like his own 60,000-dollar memory fiber cape. A few months previously, the cape from the bat suit had gone missing. Alfred had checked the security cameras, and only saw a few seconds of static.
Before he could say anything, the man started calling out to him. "Hi, hi, Mr. uh, Batman. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
"Who are you?" snarled the Dark Knight.
"Oh, sorry. I'm Cape man."
"Cape Man?"
"Yep. So listen," he said, pulling out a clipboard, "I need to talk to you 'bout your cape.
"My cape?"
"Yeah, yeah your cape. You sure, uh, ask a lot of questions for the world's greatest detective, heh. So lets see my list here. Right, color palette. Not much improved since I took your cape last time." Said Cape man, tapping his pencil on the edge of the clipboard.
"You what!" said Batman, stupefied to the point where he didn't think just to leave.
"Still with the questions. Ha, so, still black. Good enough, I guess. Not much pop, but I can accept that. Right, moving on to design. Sharp triangles on the edge? Really? Is it 1968 again? Humph." He made a disappointed scribble on his clipboard.
"Dear god! Look at the poor thing, its full of tears! When was the last time you took it to a decent seamstress?" Batman looked at his cape reprehensibly. Then a swell of annoyance burst up. There is only so much a man can take when someone's insulting his cape.
"And another thi-" Batman slapped Cape Man full in the face, knocking him a across the roof. Cape Man had a look on his face that showed the polar opposite of surprise. Tears began to build up in his eyes. He was only trying to help. Just trying to help.
Batman leapt off the roof, off to fight the Joker then drink away the strangest night he had encountered in a while. Cape Man sniffed away his tears, and collected his clipboard off the ground, and with practiced motion flipped to a fresh Rejection Form. He checked the box that read "Slapped in Face", and solemnly signed at the bottom.
A single rebellious tear rolled off his cheek and landed on the cold Gotham stone.