Title: Sexism and the Jedi
Author: snootiegirl99
Summary: Aayla Secura is not an average Twi'lek female. She's not an average Jedi either.
Rating: T (just because kids would be bored to death by this adult theme . . .)
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Disney. I make no money from writing this fanfiction. I do, however, work out a lot of my own questions this way. ;)
Notes: I'm trying something a little different. Turning a meta thought into a fictional account to let the characters play it out in their universe. Will the rating mature? Don't know yet.
Aayla Secura let the door to her meager cell close softly behind her before she slumped against it and let out a large puff of air. She was glad to be home, such as it was.
Not since her time as a Padawan had she felt so frustrated, divided, and directionless. And she was no longer a teenager, navigating those tumultuous years with a male Kiffar Master to guide her. She was a grown woman and a Knight. She should be beyond this sort of questioning and second-guessing.
Or at least that's what her training told her.
She knew that Master Vos had done his best for her. And she had adored him for his protective streak and infinite patience with her. She really couldn't complain about him as a teacher. He had had his own demons to deal with as well-dodging the pull of the Dark side while carrying out the dirty work of spying for the Council.
She knew he loved the delicate nature of espionage, but she also knew first-hand the toll it could take on one's soul. When she was Knighted, she vowed to alternate undercover missions with more standard work. And so far, it had worked for her.
But she was beginning to see a pattern in her undercover work assignments that she was particularly unhappy with. Something that spoke to her in a primal fashion. She was always assigned with a male Jedi-whatever the species. She did not lead her missions. And her casting fell into two distinct categories. She was either the paragon or the whore. She was never the equal partner. She was never the boss.
Aayla did not like these assignments. And they reminded her of conversations with her Master, his Master Tholme, and one of Vos' close friends from his Padawan days, Master Kenobi.
Sixteen-year old Aayla entered the communal dining hall dutifully behind her Master. She was luxuriating in the amenities of the Temple in a way that most Padawan who were not apprenticed to spies didn't understand. The opportunity to let her guard down, the time to be in a crowd and not suspect everyone around her would as soon kill her as anything else, and the ability to procure food, shelter, and clothing immediately were miracles to her. She breathed in the rich aromas of unspoiled and nutritious foods.
The two of them made their way through the lines and met at a table occupied by one of Master Vos' agemates. Aayla liked Master Kenobi's warm smile and lilting accent. He radiated 'civilized.'
"Padawan Secura," Obi-Wan greeted the young Twi'lek woman with a nod. "How are you faring under Quinlan's tutelage?" Obi-Wan vast the slightest smirk toward his friend.
Aayla missed the slight fun Master Kenobi poked at her own Master. "Very well, Master," she replied with gravity but accompanied the statement with a sweet smile. She almost idolized her Master at this age. Nothing anyone else said or thought of him would shake her opinion.
Obi-Wan returned her smile sincerely. "Excellent. I'm sure you are an attentive student as well."
Quinlan beamed at the notice of his apprentice. Then he turned to Obi-Wan and asked, "And how is young Anakin getting on?" His tone softened as the question brushed up against the death of Obi-Wan's Master Qui-Gon Jinn. It was too bad, Vos thought, that the joy of taking a Padawan was clouded by the loss of his mentor.
Obi-Wan's eyes clouded briefly before settling into his usual placidity. "He is well, thank you. Adjusting to the Temple seems to be giving him more trouble than anything else." He reflected on the life his Padawan came from, so harsh compared to the shelter of the Temple.
Aayla followed the conversation avidly. She knew what it was like to come to the Temple from less than ideal conditions. Her thoughts traveled her training bond with her Master, and he turned his eyes briefly to her to acknowledge her.
With his mind on his own Padawan's background, Vos replied, "Yes, sometimes it is the less regulated moments in the Temple that prove to be the greatest trial." His mind traveled over some of Aayla's earliest experiences. His Padawan felt warmed by her Master's recollection of her early years, even before he took her for his apprentice. Their bond had been strong enough that her greater moments of unhappiness had caused him to appear and help her.
Obi-Wan allowed himself a small sigh. "It's just that he's sometimes-so-emotional. I don't know how he's ever going to release all of that to the Force. It almost overwhelms me at times."
"With time . . ." Master Vos offered. Aayla looked up into his brown eyes, pleading with him to allow her to speak. "Yes, Aayla?" he prompted.
"Master Kenobi, my Master and I were having a discussion recently about releasing emotions. I know that Anakin is human, not Twi'lek, and so his experience is different from mine. But do you think that the release of emotions is governed more or less by species than by gender? Or is gender the greater factor?"
Although Aayla had posed these questions to her own Master, she knew that Master Kenobi's background as a diplomat gave him more space to consider such things. Master Vos' usual contacts with criminals didn't usually require analysis of emotional motivation beyond greed, anger, and hatred. She was interested in the human Jedi's perspective about other emotions.
Obi-Wan finished the bite he was chewing with thoughtful silence. When his mouth was empty, he cleared his throat slightly. "That is an interesting discussion, Padawan. What brought it up?"
Aayla was concerned that Master Kenobi was evading her question, but she obliged his curiosity as a dutiful Padawan should. "On Ryloth, I was taught that a female Twi'lek should sublimate her emotional responses in order to remain as docile and subservient to the males of her clan as possible. We keep our place, hold no opinions, are not allowed even to grieve overly." She paused and sought out the Master's compassionate eyes.
"I see. Go on," he responded.
Inhaling shakily, she did. "This type of cultural norm makes the women empty vessels, devoid of even the most subtle and natural responses. Other cultures are repressive of their males' emotions. As Jedi, we are taught to be pools of tranquility with the Force, to release our passions, but I cannot help but feel that this type of emotional restriction is only a modified incarnation of what I experienced on my homeworld."
Aayla's eyes dropped to her lap as she finished. This was more than she had even expressed to her own Master. She could feel his surprise and displeasure through the bond. Perhaps she shouldn't have put these thoughts into words, but the seeking of knowledge defines the Jedi. She couldn't let the opportunity to discuss this troubling matter with Master Kenobi pass. She would accept the consequences of her decision.
While her own Master was deciding whether to reprimand her right there or wait until later, Master Kenobi came to her rescue. Placing his hand lightly on Quinlan's arm, he shook his head slightly. He turned to address Aayla again.
"You are very troubled by this, I can perceive, Padawan. I commend you for the courage to bring your struggles to light. Your Master must be very proud to have such an intelligent and perceptive apprentice." He returned his hand to the table and clasped both of them together in front of himself.
Aayla slowly raised her eyes to his once again. "Thank you, Master," she said quietly.
"Now," he continued, "to return to your original question about the emotional state of species and genders, I have found that species does have a greater effect on a beings ability to control emotional responses. And having said that, I would add your second point that culture is also a larger factor than gender-although the cultural influence might be gender-specific, as you said."
Quinlan shifted slightly, feeling out of his element. But he attended to not only Obi-Wan's words but also Aayla's reactions to them.
"However, we as Jedi do not place different expectations on our members based on species, culture, or gender. All are expected to learn control over their emotions. We do not use the cultivation of emotional control as other means of controlling the individual which, as you have pointed out, is common within Twi'lek clans." He paused to check in with Aayla to see if she was following him. She nodded to indicate she was.
"It only seems logical that you would parallel your experience with your family to that of the Temple. But I assure you that no Jedi is expected to become an 'empty vessel' as you put it. We are more objective observers of our own emotional responses. We feel, but we release. We experience, but we control. Does the difference seem clear?" He smiled her warmest smile at the young girl, encouraging her to be honest with him.
Aayla took a moment to reflect on the Master's words. Both his and her own Master's eyes on her seemed to encourage her to quickly acquiesce to Master Kenobi's argument. But she still had some questions.
"Master, with all due respect, how do you account for differing levels of emotional response? As you said yourself, your own Padawan has very strong passions. I myself am passionate at times, though I have a few years more training than Anakin. Is it not a greater burden to place on someone with these 'proclivities' than on a species that might not naturally emote? How is that fair or equitable?"
She felt that this time she might have gone too far. Master Kenobi's eyes had narrowed during her last question. He looked perturbed himself, for a moment anyway. But Aayla held her ground, damn the consequences!
After a tense moment, a genuine smile broke out on Obi-Wan's face. He reached across the table to pat her folded hands. "You have given me a great deal to think about, Padawan. I thank you for your insights. Shall we continue this discussion on a weekly basis, as long as we are both in-Temple? With your permission, of course, Quinlan." He turned to Master Vos with hopeful eyes. Obi-Wan dearly loved a kindred intellect. And he felt he had found one in this young girl.
Quinlan waved a dismissive hand toward his friend, "By all means. The two of you can match wits and talk yourselves deaf." He smiled to indicate his jest, but nodded toward Aayla to indicate the permission was real. He was actually grateful for Obi-Wan's offer.
As Master Kenobi stood to bus his lunch tray, he said, "The next time we discuss this, Padawan Secura, I will have had time to think about your words through the lens of my own Padawan. I hope to bring new knowledge to our talk." He bowed and moved away.
Aayla was satisfied for the moment.