Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
Author's Note: Response to a prompt that became a story, longer than I expected.
"Will, come on! They're going to draw it now." April Rhodes, on 4 inch heels, her long, blonde hair flowing as she half-walked, half-ran through the familiar hallways of McKinley High, adjusted the top slipping dangerous far down as she turned to make sure Will was following her.
"April, seriously, why are we doing this?"
"Because your kids don't think you're as good as you are. If you wanna make it to nationals, you're gonna have to do this. They need to respect you, Will."
"They're not my kids, and I've sung for them before. They… respect me." Will stopped. Standing quite a bit taller than April, he watched as the wheels practically turned in her head.
"So Rachel didn't take over and present you with songs they'd deign do at nationals? Mercedes isn't at home with the blonde one and Santa…"
"Santana…" Will interrupted.
"…Making costumes that fit the songs Rachel picked out?"
"Point taken, but April…"
"Will…" April pulled on his arm.
"Fine. But I'm not doing anything that fits your higher register. I'm not trying to make a fool of myself here."
"Deal. We're here!" April threw her arms in the air, her mood slightly cheerier than that of the group of students.
"Mr. Shue, April."
"Ready to draw? Kurt, the box please? Today."
"Ease down, baby mama, these feet weren't made for running."
"Ok, the first number is… Oh my God, Phantom Of The Opera!" Kurt squealed and jumped up and down.
"Kurt, calm down - what's the song?"
"All I Ask Of You." He said when he caught his breath.
"Well, at least it's in my register." Will rolled his eyes.
"Who's next? Puck."
"Pass." Noah Puckerman leaned back in his chair.
"I'll do it." Rachel stuck her hand in the air.
"Okay, Rachel."
"I'll pick."
"Shut up, Finn. Rachel…?" Quinn looked quickly from Finn to Rachel, quietly urging her to pick the damn song.
"Oh. My. God. No, they can't. Who put this in here?"
"What's the song, Rachel?"
"I Know Him So Well."
"What?"
"It's from Chess. It's for two women. Mr. Schuester, you can't do this song. I urge you to---"
"We'll do it."
"April, can I talk to you a second? Over here?" He grabbed her arm, nearly pulling her solely by force as he walked.
"Will, I know how to do this. I did it with my friend Chris my last year in high school."
"Was Chris a girl?"
"No… but he was gayer than Elton John and Versace's love child."
"April… I'm not a girl, and I'm not …"
"Oh don't be such a pest, Will. Be a little open-minded, will you? You wanna teach these kids something? Show them that you don't have to follow all the rules in life, or in show choir."
"Fine, we'll do it."
"I don't approve of this."
"Good luck, Mr. Schuester. April."
"Thank you, Artie."
"Stop fidgeting, will you, I'm trying to focus here… I haven't performed sober in a while."
"I don't think we should do it." Will paced in the small changing area behind the auditorium.
"Will, I have no problem accidentally dropping the piano lid on your fingers again." April said calmly, as she reapplied her lipstick.
"Let's do this."
"That's what I thought. Showtime! I'll see you out there, big guy. Break a leg, or whatever it is you tell your kids when they go on." She checked to make sure her dress wasn't rumpled and gave herself a pleased wink as she walked out.
April waited for Principal Figgins to turn off the light and watched as Mercedes whispered something to Kurt, making him giggle. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this nervous. She hadn't performed without a drink in 15 years, and back then she'd been high on teenage hormones. She took a deep breath and let the first notes take her away.
[April]
Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long
April took careful steps towards the end of the stage, waiting, listening for the soft sound of Will's footsteps on the opposite entrance.
[Will]
Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments who can tell
Will felt the microphone shaking, realizing it was his own fault. He saw April's blonde hair shine in the light of the spotlight, wishing he felt as calm as she looked. If he'd seen her face, he would have seen her biting her lip.
[April]
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well
[Will/ April]
Wasn't it good?/Oh so good
Wasn't she fine?/Oh so fine
Isn't it madness
He can't be mine?/She can't be mine?
April turned towards Will's part of the stage, the focus of the spotlight making it impossible for her to see his feet. She found his eyes staring at her, like they were looking right through her.
[April]
But in the end he needs
A little bit more than me --
More security
[Will]
She needs her fantasy
And freedom
I know her so well
April loved the way Will finished his chorus so softly. Like he needed to make people really listen to make them hear it.
[April]
No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I'd move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide
She shifted her head to the side, looking at him, his lips curling into a smile as he looked at her right back.
[Will/ April]
Looking back I could
Have played it differently/Have played things another way
[April]
Learned about the man
Before I fell
She didn't care about anyone watching anymore, didn't really care that she'd promised herself not to get involved with any teachers, no matter how persuasive or good-looking they might be ("Do no teacher/student relationship rules apply if both parties are over 30?", she wondered to herself). All she needed to know was staring at her.
[April/Will]
But I was ever so much younger then/I was just a little careless maybe
[April]
Now at least
I know I know him well
[April /Will]
Wasn't it good?/Oh so good
Wasn't he fine?/Oh so fine
[April]
Isn't it madness
[Will]
She won't be mine?
Didn't I know
How it would go?
[April]
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart?
Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
A sudden memory of Will taking her hand in his as Barry poured her usual post-karaoke drink hit her. The way he'd forcefully told Barry that she wouldn't be having her usual that day, before taking her home, her hand in his the entire way home, still made her feel safer than she'd ever felt before.
[Will/ April]
Isn't it madness
She won't be mine?/He won't be mine?
[Will]
But in the end she needs a
Little bit more than me --
More security
[April]
He needs his
Fantasy and freedom
[Will]
I know her so well
Will took her hand in his, sent her a knowing look and she felt tears fall from her eyes. God, she hated musicals. Ever since the first time she saw Sound Of Music, she'd always cried at the end.
[April /Will]
It took time to understand him/It took time to understand her
I know him so well
April heard the applause in the background, even heard Principal Figgins whistle, as she squeezed Will's hand. When he started to let go, she gestured to Tinkles ("Damn, the new her should learn his real name", she thought) as he signaled to the band to start their next song. April stepped out of the spotlight, watching as Will began to sing again.
[Will]
No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you
He held out his hand to her, his eyes carefully urging her to take it.
[April]
Say you love me every waking moment,
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you
She let her small hand slip into his and he pulled her closer. He let his hands rest on her waist.
[Will]
Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You're safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you
[April]
All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me
As she closed her mouth, April knew she was about to hate Will. Despite her loud protests, he'd insisted upon spinning her around as they sung the last chorus. She always got dizzy; he always held her hand until it passed, and every time April fell a little bit deeper.
[Will/April]
Say you'll share with me
One love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude/Say the word and I will follow you
Say you need me with you here, beside you/Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Anywhere you go, let me go too
And just as in rehearsals, she was grateful that he'd slowed down. Her heart was beating faster than it had before, her notes came out softer. Will tightened his grip on her, leaving his hand protectively on her back. She felt safe.
[April]
Love me - that's all I ask of you
[Will/April]
That's all I ask of you
April froze as the last words left her mouth, Will's hand on her back stayed firm and steady, holding her up as the kids applauded. She felt a familiar tingle in her stomach and though her heart told her to stay, she grabbed a hold of Will's hands, using him as support to pull away, running into the empty hallway. She leaned against the wall to catch her breath as Will came running towards her.
"Oh my god! You were fantastic! You were right, our voices do sound good together. Like we were meant to sing together." He picked her up and twirled her around before putting her down again.
"Will, I lied."
"You don't think our voices blend well?" Will felt confused.
"I didn't come back because Rachel and Finn asked me to do this. They asked me to do this because I came back. God, I'm so sorry." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand.
"Hey, what are you sorry for?"
"I lied."
"I know."
"No… not about coming back, about why I came. Will… I'm not seeing Michael anymore. Truth is, I wasn't seeing him at all. Actually I don't know him. He lives in my building. I got his mail by mistake once."
"But, in your email you said…"
"I lied. Wow, I've lied a lot to you, haven't I? But I'm not lying now I haven't been single and mingling since I went to New York. The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you."
"April---"
"Please, just let me say what I have to say… I'm sorry, Will. I keep coming back and telling you lies and screwing up. I don't mean to. I really don't. I don't want to feel this way, I just keep thinking about your smile, your eyes…" April touched his cheek, quickly pulling her hand back when she saw Will's instant reaction.
"April, I just left my wife."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel any… I'm not trying to pressure you. I just keep messing things up for you don't I? I'll go now… Tell the kids good luck at the nationals for me, ok?"
"I think about you too."
"Really?" She stopped dead in her tracks and turned. Will walked closed as he whispered.
"April, you've been in the back of my head since I was 15. Every major high school memory I have, you're there in some way. You're amazing, and you don't even know how amazing you are. I don't regret anything. But I just left my wife. My entire life has been turned upside down. I'm not going to be a father anymore. Everything I had planned for the next 18 years, is not going to happen now."
"It could. You could still---"
"I might. But I'm not-- I'm not ready to think that way right now. I need to get over---"
"Terri. That's her name, right?"
"Yeah, and not just her. I fell in love with that baby, April. Something happens when you hear your kid's heart beating for the first time. I guess that wasn't really my kid, but I fell nonetheless. I feel betrayed and stupid, and as much as I want to return everything you're telling me, right now I just feel numb. That might change tomorrow, it might change in a year, I don't know."
"Yeah. That heartbeat thing… I know. I've been there. That's when I knew I could never be a mom, just a mother. You did everything you could, Will, and you will make an amazing daddy some day."
"I'm sorry… April, you're amazing, and if you trust yourself… you'll make some lucky guy really happy one day. Just look at what you've done for me. The last four days have been like a pause in my life. Now it's time to face reality. I need to deal with Terri, and Kendra, and I have to find myself again. Maybe I'll find you there when I do. I hope so. In whatever way you want me. Either way, whatever happens, I want you to be happy. But before you go, you have one song left to do."
"Will, no - that was just me singing it for you. I wasn't going to sing it for them… Come on."
"April, please? For me?"
Will walk to the center of the stage, taking the microphone. "Thank you for that… April and I decided after such an emotional ballad, it would be a great end if we both did a diva storm-out. But we're back, and April has been so kind as to give her a little more of her time, and one more song."
April walked to the center to stand by Will, taking a seat on the stool he'd placed there for her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Memories flood at her. Memories of her mother, of Vinnie, of old friends long gone, and of Will; ransacking her room for bottles as she lay crying and shaking on her rotten motel bed. How he'd gotten staying with her all night by his wife, she didn't know or care about; all she wants to keep is the way his lips pressed against her forehead when he kissed her good night. The way his eyes looked so kind and understanding, even when she pleaded with him for just one quick sip of a wine bottle she'd hidden behind the toilet. No one had ever seen her like that, and still wanted to see her the next morning. She wanted to hate him for letting her fall apart, but she couldn't.
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chainsI never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your reign
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way that I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way that I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that
You're everything I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me downYou're keeping me down
But you're on to me, on to me… and all over me
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
If she hadn't seen Kurt's bright pink shirt and ridiculously clean white dress pants, she would've thought the auditorium was empty. No one said a word, until Quinn, radiant and glowing, simply said; "Wow."
"Yeah."
"Who were you singing about?"
"Sometimes the song isn't about a who, it's about what's in you. Use every part of you. Everything you are, everything you want, use it. That's what makes a song work. That's what'll get you guys nationals."
"But who?"
"Let me tell you something. Who I was, isn't who I am now. But I am a product of both. Who - is for me to know, nobody else. Don't be afraid to show your cards, but keep one to yourself, let it guide you. It might be painful, but you might find what makes you strong. Don't be afraid to be afraid, because the day you've stopped learning, is the day you've stopped living. Show them what's in your heart, no matter what it is. That's what music is. That's the song.
Well, it's time for me to get going. Theatre waits for no man. Or woman. Bye guys. Good luck at nationals. Kurt, keep working on that high note, Tina – believe in yourself."
"Bye, April. You should come see us!"
"I might. Might."
"I'll follow you out. Guys, why don't you go home. Get a good nights sleep, we'll start fresh at tomorrow's rehearsal."
"Ok" "Sure." "Whatever." Will didn't really wait for their response.
"April? Let me drive you to the airport, ok?" He caught up with her at the door.
"Sure, I guess."
"So… here we are. I'm sorry I blurted all of that back there." April couldn't stop wringing her hands together. Old habits die hard.
"Yeah. Do you have everything?" Will kept looking ahead.
"Yep. I didn't have much, just some clothes." April's heart sunk at Will's lack of response.
"Yeah. Do you want me to—"
"No, I can find it on my own. Big girl. Will…" Will turned to her, sudden and with tears in his eyes.
"I wish I could be that guy, right now, that you want me to be."
"I wish you could too. But I get it. Just be happy, Will. And don't look too long. Sometimes, it's right there in front of you, and you don't even know it 'till it's not there anymore."
"Yeah."
"Yeah." She opened the car door and got her suitcase out from the backseat.
"Goodbye April."
Will hated himself for letting the door close. He wanted to get up, but his feet stuck to the pedals of the car like they were glued together. He drove away, not seeing April's eyes open to find him gone. If he'd looked back, he would have seen her hand search for his to hold.
April grabbed her suitcase and breathed in a little more of the fresh air, preparing to leave Lima, and its quiet, unspoken hope, behind.
"Maybe I'll find you there when I do."
"Goodbye, Will."
Love me - that's all I ask of you.