This is a drabble I wrote a while ago about my headcanon for Mikado, lol. Since I can't come up with any ideas for my other fics, I decided to post this instead. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara.

1. mikado: can't swim

Well, I'm absolutely fucked, aren't I?

"Mi... Mikado? Hey, what are you doing?!"

It was entirely Kida's fault, Mikado would have sworn his whole family on that. Of course, Mikado always somehow managed to get into these sort of messes.

I really hate sports.

"Mikado!" Kida cried.

"I... can't... swim...!" rasped Mikado.

Although he didn't know why he wasn't more concerned about drowning, he looked back on the horrible, rotten history he had with the subject of sports. Mikado, being Mikado, couldn't understand why anyone would like being physical when a subject like Informational Technology (IT) existed.

So of course he never bothered to learn something like swimming.

He was bad at sports anyway, so of course he wouldn't be able to swim, he thought. All Mikado had to make sure of was to not drown or go near any body of water, including pools and beaches.

While Mikado was busy not having the existencial crisis that he should have been having (talk about a rebel), Kida was being a good little boy and having his own personal panic attack.

"Ahh! Mikado! Oh my god, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do-"

"Maybe... you could... help?!" Mikado gasped again as he fought the water.

Kida finally came to his senses after hearing Mikado's voice and jumped into the pool, swimming over to Mikado's side as fast as he could. He let Mikado take the support of his back as he slowly swam back to the edge of the pool, hauling Mikado over onto dry land before getting out himself.

"Mikado, I'm so sorry, I didn't know... I just assum-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Furious and embarrassed, Mikado's red face contorted with frustration and anger, his eyes glaring at Kida.

"Well, this is unusual. You've never been as loud as this befor-"

"DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT?! YOU JUST DECIDED TO PUSH ME INTO A POOL AND THEN YOU DIDN'T CONSIDER THE FACT THAT I MIGHT NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM?!"

"Hey, even the most unathletic people that I know of know how to swim. We live in Japan. And even though I know you're bad at sports, I figured you could at least float o-"

Mikado cleared his throat, silencing the flustered Kida. "You know what, just forget it. I'm going to go change. And tell no one about this."

"... Can I at least tell Anr-"

"NO!"