Author's Note: I was having an angsty Kelly Clarkson kind a day… Don't know where it cam from, but here's the result… I'll probably only keep this posted for a short time because I may post it later on this ALL Jarly site that's exclusively for posting on this site.

The Trouble With Love Is

I'm done, she thinks emptily as she stares at all of the trinkets she'd picked up over the years. She had every ring every man who swore to be there had ever given her. All except AJ's, but she'd lost them in a mugging that had turned out ok because it had gotten her the dream. It had been the only way his brother would ever place rings on her finger.

Love can be a many-splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales

One from Tony, a pair that would have to represent both AJ & Jason, the first set from Sonny, and the second set. There was the pair from Lorenzo, the last pair from Sonny, and the pair from Jax. None of them had come easily. She'd taken some major beatings mentally, physically, emotionally… she'd loved hard and fought harder to get each and everyone of them. Sure, with AJ it hadn't been about loving him, but it had all been about love regardless. Still in the end, here she was all alone again. Each time she had gone into marriage and seen the light at the end of the tunnel—the ultimate goal. She'd accepted each bump and bruise as her due to earn the eventual prize. She had truly believed that with these rings, she could finally get to her happily ever after.

It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

She sat and stared at all the glittering, gleaming symbols of a forever she never saw—one more spectacular than the next. It was as if they were each promising an even better future than the last, if she would just take the risk of an even bigger fall. And over and over again, she had. Someone wise once famously said that the definition of insanity was repeating the same course of action while expecting a different result. Well, with as much time as she had spent locked away, it was time she recognized her truth. She was in fact certifiably insane—and marriage was her institution of choice.

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

How many kinds of fool had she played or made out of herself in the name of love and marriage? There were the lies and manipulations for Tony, not to mention the felonies. Then, there was everything she'd done to AJ to make a home with other men. Men who never really ended up wanting her. Tony, again. Jason. The only man who had never had to question her loyalty and devotion, had forever refused to trust in it. How funny was that? The only man she'd never lie to or intentionally betray was the man most adamant that she would. So there had been Sonny, Lorenzo, and Jax. She'd given them everything she could—everything she'd had left to give. But once you give away all pride and sense of self… a piece of your soul just to prove yourself—unsuccessfully—it can be difficult to truly move on.

The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

She'd left a little chunk of her heart with each of them. Well, as much as she could spare considering her children and Jason held most of it. She looked past the line of diamonds at the two pieces of paper she'd propped behind them. Just two pieces of paper that had completely decimated the last of her romantic dreams for her future. One was a divorce decree and the other a wedding announcement.

Ironically, it was the wedding announcement that had been the most destructive to her soul. The white knight and the boy on the side. Her two blond-haired, blue-eyed dreams were now forever out of her reach.

Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too

"Carly," a voice called piercing the silence, surprisingly close. I didn't feel him. She turned in surprise to look up at her heart's most closely held secret dream.

His stomach dropped when blue eyes met brown and he found them completely devoid of the light she had always reserved just for him and her kids, even thru their hardest times. "What's wrong, Carly?" If he just knew, maybe he could fix it.

"I'm glad you came by. I don't know why you did, but now it'll save me the phone call," she says in an empty voice he hadn't heard since Ferncliffe.

"Carly," he whispered carefully, taking a terrified step closer only stopping when she lifted a hand to halt his progress.

She continued as if he'd never spoken. "It's good because I would hate to say goodbye over the phone," she said dully.

I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

She hesitated as she read the question in his clear blue eyes. "I'm taking Morgan and Josslyn, and we're going to Florida." She saw the pain fill his eyes, but for once was too numb to feel his pain or care. "Don't worry about the wedding. Morgan will not miss his Uncle Jason's wedding."

"What about his Uncle Jason's best person?" he asked hoarsely.

"I'm sure Sonny will be honored that you asked him," she replied calmly.

"I meant you, Carly," he said urgently.

"It's really sweet of you to say, but no, you didn't," she assured him vaguely. "I won't be able to make it. I'm sorry, but I'm sure it's for the best. The most important people in your life will be there."

"Carly—"

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

When she continued to stare at him like a mildly amusing stranger, he tried again. "What about Michael?" he asked.

"I'm sure he'll be there," she joked weakly. "He's got you. And Sonny. And Edward & the Quartermaines. Then there's Abby. He'll let me know if he needs me. And if he doesn't, I know you'd never keep it from me. So you'll tell me or Sonny will."

"Aren't you ever planning to come back?" he asked his voice cracking.

"Of course I am," she promises, pausing to look one last time at the coffee table. "Just as soon as I can."

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

"As soon as you can what?" he asked preparing to help her fix whatever was wrong.

"Learn to let go," she answered staring into his eyes. She sees the next question form, and shakes her head no. "I'll be fine. I always am, whether you're there to catch me when I fall or not. I just forgot that for a while. Good bye, Jason." She took his hand in hers and lifted it to kiss it. She stared into his eyes as her lips lingered there giving him a view of every last ounce of love she had in her heart for him. Then, the wall fell between them once again as she dropped his hand. Without another word or glance, she turned her back on him and walked up the stairs.

His eyes followed the direction she took until he heard her bedroom door close. His eyes fell to the display on the table and tears filled his eyes as he recognized what lay before him. He lifted his hand slowly and, afraid to acknowledge what lay in his palm, opens his hand. A single tear dropped from his eye and he whispered, "Caroline."

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
It's in your heart
It's in your soul
You won't get no control
See, you got no say at all

~The End~