I am probably one of the few that were disappointed in the premier of season 2 and the writers' portrayal of Jarvis. I found that he was only used for comedy and that Peggy wasn't ever giving him the time of day. It was like the strong relationship they had in New York was forgotten by Peggy and unappreciated. This is me expressing these feelings through Jarvis. It's very much his feelings on the occurrences of the first two episodes and goes through his thought process.

I really feel like Jarvis is struggling to prove himself to Peggy and to get her to notice him again. I love Jarvis so much and believe he is worth much more than simply comedic relief. He's complex and has a deep compassion for those he cares about.

While I ship Carvis (Peggy x Jarvis), this fic doesn't focus on that primarily. There may be hints, but it's more of Jarvis trying to understand his role in it all.

I hope you enjoy.

(I actually made myself cry when writing the ending...)

-x-

I know I am only a butler. And I know my espionage skills are mediocre at best. However, I thought that the events of six months ago would have counted for something...

I was very happy to hear that Miss Carter would be venturing out to Los Angeles. It brought a bounce to my step knowing I would see her again and possibly be able to aid her once more. To be honest, life is very uneventful without her. Sure there are many ridiculous happenings occurring with Mr. Stark such as that feathered insanity Bernard, and true is it also that Ana keeps me occupied. But everything only seems to be part of a routine; a feeling that I found Miss Carter had freed me from in the past.

Miss Carter looked radiant as always when deboarding the aeroplane and I was relieved to see her there in front of me. From the smile upon her face I thought that she was genuinely pleased to see me as well.

In the car I explained how dull Los Angeles and my tasks had been up 'til now, yet she appeared to be relatively disinterested. A fair assessment I suppose, seeing as though these were mostly my complainings and not life-threatening ordeals. However, it would have delighted me so to hear that she may have missed my company too.

Nevertheless, I introduced her to Ana, which Miss Carter presumably enjoyed. I mean, what's not to love about my wife? She's outgoing and joyful and always full of life. I do wish however, that she would refrain from kissing me so endearingly in front of company; especially Miss Carter. Ana believes that I need to be more open, but quite frankly I find it rather embarrassing.

Anyway, Miss Carter received a very peculiar case out here. A frozen lady in a lake. Very odd indeed. I have no doubts she will be successful in resolving it, though I wish I were to be included.

Hope sparked in me when Miss Carter was assigned to question Calvin Chadwick at the racetrack. I finally had an excuse to wear my best suit and hat while being of use, creating a diversion and distracting his wife, Whitney Frost. I have since overcome the habit of rubbing my ear while being untruthful; something I felt proud to have put to use in this scenario. Miss Carter and I ended up fleeing the scene quite hastily, but even so, she did not seem impressed by our efficient teamwork. I thought that perhaps she would need further convincing.

There was little time for that however, as Miss Carter was needed immediately. Though I was not directly invited, I ended up accompanying her to the autopsy of Miss Scott. I thought for a moment that we were finally reunited like old times! Much to my chagrin, I wound up needing a moment of air. Something which I now suspect may have been my downfall. Did it allow Miss Carter to believe that I am weak? Not being able to stomach the sight of a deceased woman could be considered a major hindrance to a mission which was shaping up to be quite gruesome. But it wasn't my fault exactly. Miss Scott was once a living person and someone intentionally took her life with no consideration for her or her loved ones. It wasn't just the sight of her which deeply disturbed me.

To add insult to injury, I was bludgeoned by that idiotic policeman! Another blow to the prospect of being capable enough to keep pace with her...and furthermore, Miss Carter had to treat my wounds! How would I ever prove myself to her if I kept being caught off guard? Sitting in the back of Chief Sousa's vehicle, I felt my hopes slipping away.

In addition, there was a certain heaviness to the air of that car. Something unspoken and stirring between Miss Carter and Chief Sousa which I had never noticed before. I kept catching Miss Carter glancing his way, staring for moments that were far too long to have been insignificant. Never before have I seen Miss Carter become so unfocused from a mission. It certainly was out of character for her.

One advancement however, was the fact that she gave me her pistol. Despite its small size it was a new and much appreciated gesture...although, I would have been even more grateful if I had been the one to accompany her during the pursuit. From past experience, I have come to realize that in some instances Miss Carter becomes so intent on accomplishing her main goal that she can sometimes overlook unanticipated danger. I could have been her eyes in that instance; keeping a watchful look for the unexpected. But, alas, I was merely left behind to be a "beacon of justice".

Yes, I said those words too. I believe that sometimes Miss Carter can use a bit of humour to lighten heavy situations. I only want her to be safe and to not "burn out" as is sometimes true for people who deal with death and serious situations as frequently as she.

Despite my attempts, Miss Carter was unaffected. As she left to pursue the suspects, she seemed overly on edge. This Doctor Wilkes person had appeared quite smitten by Miss Carter in the morgue; perhaps that was why she was so tense as well.

The idiotic policeman ended up succumbing to the mysterious freezing substance and Dr. Wilkes had been found safe. I caught up with Miss Carter and Chief Sousa but both were far too busy with SSR matters to have time to explain any details. As it so happened, they managed to forget me on site as they headed back to the main office. That was fine, for I hopped in with another SSR agent who gladly discussed his distaste for Los Angeles weather. He explained it as his reasoning for working the nightshift. An intelligent solution, if I may say so myself.

Once at the SSR I retrieved the Mr. Stark's car and signaled to Miss Carter in order to take her back to the estate. She had been looking at something through the window, though clearly that sight was not a depiction of her search for her ride home. I must have just missed whatever had captured her attention.

Our ride back was relatively silent and I decided that Miss Carter was tired enough that she didn't need my questions and input to bother her further.

Determined as I am, I decided to try harder to prove my worth. I demonstrated to her that I had been training in defense. I thought it would have impressed her greatly. At first she had the upper hand, but in her naiveté, I managed to pin her quite effortlessly! That should have showcased to her that I am more capable than before; more ready to aid her in ways that do not only include forging papers. However, at my display of physical competency, she barely acknowledged what I had achieved. Perhaps it isn't a great accomplishment in her eyes; after all, she is superiorly trained. Or perhaps my triumph was overshadowed by Ana's interruption and open affections once again. I am still unclear on how I shall interpret these matters.

Yet, after yesterday's events, I thought for sure she would extend me an offer, suggesting I could be of further service to her and the mission. Sadly, as her request came forth, it was clear that she wanted nothing more than for me to be her chauffeur.

Upon her return, I was vaguely informed of the day's occurrences. All she said was that Miss Scott's body had been stolen and that the vehicle and men had been found abandoned and dead. Her tone was once again distant as she spoke and looking back, I continually become more puzzled by her avoidance of me.

I wished she would have at least let me drive her that evening. I know I have said previously that I desire to do more than simply escort her about, but that night there was an uneasiness churning within my stomach. The meeting was not supposed to pose her any danger, yet from previous experience I understand that danger often finds Miss Carter. She was to meet Doctor Wilkes alone at one of the fanciest places for colored people in the city. Ana had taken me there previously to dance, but the location is dimly lit and Miss Carter could not possibly survey the entire room independently. Not only that, but there was a certain excitement running through her features as she prepared for her night out. Ana insisted to me later that Miss Carter was smitten by this new man. How could that be possible so soon? She had only met him a few days ago. It now seems that all the warmth Miss Carter had had for me in New York has been withdrawn for investment in Dr. Wilkes instead.

"Your thirst for adventure is appreciated." she had said. Oh, how those words stung. How they still sting. She does not seem to comprehend my level of concern for her wellbeing.

My gut instinct was correct after all. I received a distress signal from Miss Carter via Mr. Stark's "sock on the door" feature. She would not have activated it unless she had found herself in a dire situation. This one she couldn't handle alone.

I was intent on setting off myself to find her. It would have been faster and I may have intercepted them sooner. However, Ana convinced me that the logical course of action was to telephone Chief Sousa and request the assistance of the SSR.

And so, that's what I did and Chief Sousa urged that I come in immediately.

That was also how I discovered that Chief Sousa has quite the infatuation with Miss Carter. He was furious about Miss Carter's disappearance. Either it was because she was in danger or because he knew Doctor Wilkes was equally as enamoured by the lady agent. My guess is that in actuality it was a combination of the two.

Chief Sousa insisted I accompany him. For this I was quite grateful! Initially, it was the feeling of being caught up in another thrilling adventure, but the sensation was quickly overridden by the overwhelming desire to find Miss Carter alive.

The time which elapsed between leaving the SSR and finally arriving at Isodyne's explosion site was complete agony. I didn't care about the concerns flowing through Chief Sousa, I was fixated upon my own emotions. There was a possibility that Miss Carter had not survived. I refused to believe those thoughts and blinked back what I was astonished to find were tears in my eyes.

Both Chief Sousa and I scrambled out of the car. And then I saw her. She looked shaken, but it was her. Miss Carter was alive and my hearted jumped into my throat. A wave of relief washed over me as she approached Chief Sousa. Her eyes were blank and her face was distraught. Then I realized what had happened – Doctor Wilkes had not been so fortunate.

My heart sank as she approached me. I didn't know what to say. Usually I am quite collected and not one who hugs; but in that moment I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and to show her just how relieved I was for her to be standing there in front of me. I wanted to comfort her and ensure her that everything would be alright.

But, something stopped me. I replayed all the moments of the past few days in my mind; all the times where Miss Carter seemed not to be enjoying my presence to the same extent in which I was enjoying hers. And so I chose my words carefully: "Miss Carter, I am immensely relieved that you are unharmed."

Her emotions were understandably scattered, yet as I feared, her response was dishearteningly distant. All she needed from me once again was a ride home. I could hardly deny her this request, yet as I accepted, I allowed myself to place my hand upon her shoulder in hopes that my true feelings would translate through the gentle touch.

But who am I fooling? In the end, I will always be merely a butler.