No sex despite the Omega verse.
#
Tony erupted into a loud sneeze.
"Bless you." Bruce murmured. Tony sneezed again in response.
In retrospect, nah, Tony was never good at predicting bodily functions.
#
"I thought Aldrich Killian was a cliché villain but this Baron Strucker takes the prize." Tony remarks, putting his red sneaker shod feet on the table and leaning back insouciantly. "How many bases does this guy need?" He ignores Steve's pointed glance at his feet and leant back further, balancing.
He wishes the tactics room still had swivel chairs but he suspects they were removed because he irritated everyone by constantly spinning around in them (there is a reason Pepper never lets Stark Industries have swivel chairs) or maybe it was because of the time he, Thor and Clint had roped a repulser to the chairs and then raced each other down the halls.
For the record, using a magical hammer to enhance speed was cheating. As was using a bow to leave out tripping hazards. Apparently so was jumping from one chair onto the back of someone else's. Who knew?
Tony suspects Natasha won the race, even though she wasn't participating.
"They aren't his bases, its Hydra resources which apparently is rather a lot." Steve says ruefully.
"Where is Hercules when you need him?" Bruce asks quietly.
Tony adores Bruce, he really, really does. But that doesn't change the fact that his friend is a huge dork and his jokes aren't all that funny. It's impossible to be amusing all the time; unless you're Tony Stark of course.
"Eh, he's close enough to a stereotypical ancient Greek hero." Tony gestures to Steve. "Say, Cap, got slaying Hydras on your resume?" Tony winks.
"Not yet." Steve returns. "But hopefully soon."
"Since this one is in Britain, do you think it will be a medieval castle?" Clint asks, considering.
"Oh, hey! I always wanted to find a secret passageway." Tony grins. Once, when he was about four, he had spent hours combing his father's study, pulling out all the books and running his hands over everything in reach and more to try and find the trigger for the secret door he just knew was behind the fireplace. He hadn't found it, but never say never.
"Clint and Tony would fit right in, in a medieval castle. Suits of armours and bows and arrows, all very archaic." Natasha smirks.
"You forgot about Thor, a cape wearing hammer bearing god would fit right in a renaissance faire. And I resent the implication that my suits are in anyway outdated, they are top of the line. Though I'm flattered you think me a Knight, Natasha, truly." Tony flutters his eyelashes.
"More of a Knave." Steve mutters.
"You have struck me a mortal blow!" Tony exclaims. Natasha kicks the back of his chair, unbalancing him enough to nearly send him toppling. He catches himself and promptly leans back again.
"Shall I set a flight plan?" Clint asks.
"Nah, JARVIS can do it." Tony responds. "Right J?"
"I am of course capable, sir." JARVIS replies.
"No side trips to Tennessee this time."
"Perish the thought, sir."
"Why would you go to Tennessee?" Clint asks but lines of music from a song interrupt.
"Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need...I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero for the end of the-" Tony answers his phone.
"Maria, I thought you were in a meeting with Pepper which was why you had to miss the strategy meet. Don't tell me that wasn't the case, I'd hate to think- wait, yeah, fine." Tony passes over the mobile to Steve.
Almost immediately a thoughtful frown crosses Steve's face. Tony kicks back in his chair.
"'I need a hero', really Tony? That was the best you could come up with for Hill's ringtone?" Natasha asks, eyebrow raised.
"Nah. I had plans. She set that one. Have you ever noticed that Maria is pretty sarcastic?"
"No." Clint says, his tone just bland enough that Tony doesn't know if he is joking or not.
"What was she calling about?" Clint enquires.
"I think the more pertinent question is why she rang Tony to talk to Steve." Natasha remarks dryly.
"New info apparently; Hill has connections. And Steve's phone got smashed up last fortress storming which was four days ago so I haven't had time to produce a new one with all the special bells and whistles."
Natasha hums and smirks.
#
"Tony." A voice says and he has the funny feeling this isn't the first time. He also didn't notice his music being turned off which, rude.
"Tony." Something taps at his shoe and the bottom of his slacks are given a warning tug.
He quickly rolls out from underneath the car just in case Pepper really does pull him out. For the record, not a good idea, the mechanic could have his head up and thus bang it on the way out if forcibly removed.
"Hey Pep." He says, dropping his tools into their box and heading over to the sink. She hasn't got anything for him to sign so he deems it safe enough to clean his hands.
"You know, I run your company, I am CEO of your company. I really don't have time to drag you kicking and screaming to a benefit party." She says, arms folded.
"How about this then, don't drag me." Tony suggests. Pepper glowers.
"Tony. This has been in the calendar for over a year. It is your party in fact. A Maria Stark foundation benefit and if you don't-"
"Hey, I'll be there. Barring Avengers emergency." He tacks on just in case.
Pepper gives a thin lipped smile.
"They can deal without you for one night." She says firmly, as if daring the universe to prove her wrong.
There are shadows under her eyes, Tony can tell despite the concealer, and for once she seems drained.
Pepper practically thrives on work, on telling people what to do, it's part of what makes her a much better CEO than Tony ever was because Tony was only ever half-assed and he hated the work. So seeing her actually look drained is rare.
He puts an arm around her waist and leans in to kiss her before abruptly remembering that they weren't together anymore. A month ago and he still forgets at times.
He kisses her cheek, going with the pretence that that was the goal in the first place.
Pepper closes her eyes and breathes. She had leant in too, so he wasn't the only one finding the adjustment difficult.
"Let's grab a drink. Vodka martinis and extra olives." He suggests, casually unwinding his arm from her and leading the way up to the lounge areas.
"Just one." Pepper stipulates. "I can't go to this half buzzed."
"Pity." Tony grins. He gets a faint one in return and that's enough.
She drinks three and in return Tony ends up giving her a foot massage and then paints her nails.
"Remind me to do your make up later." Pepper says, eyes closed as she practically droops on the sofa. The strained edge to her smile has smoothed and she seems relaxed.
"Is Tony not pretty enough for you already?" Clint mocks, walking through the room to get to the communal kitchen.
"Tony is a pretty princess all the time." Tony sniffs.
"I don't think green and purple are his colours though." Pepper murmurs, gesturing to Tony's left cheekbone which is sporting a fading bruise.
"I prefer red and gold, personally." Tony says, eyeing the coral pink shade of Pepper's nails with an urge to paint them red.
"No Tony." Pepper says idly, as though just for form.
"But-"
"No."
"Just-"
"No. I'm already CEO of Stark Industries. I don't want to be your walking talking advertisement board."
"You'd look good in red." Tony says. Pepper opens one eye and looks at him.
"I have red hair. It clashes." And that is that.
Tony tries to think up an argument that would counter Pepper's.
(He doesn't think saying she looks good in anything would be taken well, not considering the dress he once brought her years ago when she was his P.A. and beginning to be his friend. Pepper buys her own gifts from him for two very good reasons, he forgets most of the time to even get something and the times he does remember he gets her something she really doesn't like.)
Natasha studies Pepper's hands.
"You're better at that than I expected." She remarks, looking over the bottles of nail polish and selecting a few different colours.
"That's what I said. And then he painted Iron Man helmets on my thumb nails." Pepper says. And come on, that was three years ago. Natasha's mouth twitches like she is almost amused.
"I have unexpected depths." Tony informs them gravely. He's not sure why both Natasha and Pepper snort with laughter at him.
"I think I should be offended." Tony remarks as Natasha hands him her selected bottle of polish and holds out her hand. "Any drinks for you, madam?"
"Whatever Pepper's drinking." Natasha says.
"A couple of Vodka martinis coming up."
"Coffee for me." Pepper interjects. "I need to sober up."
"You know, coffee doesn't actually sober you up." Tony remarks. "It just wakes you up."
"I know. And if I don't get my coffee I will end up using my dinner plate as a pillow."
"Hey." He says, not exactly offended. He'd only done that once. Okay, he'd only done that once in public.
Tony feels flushed during the benefit. He chalks it down to the alcohol (there is plenty) and the dancing (he hasn't had a breather once).
It isn't until he wakes up in the morning that he realises what he has come down with.
He is in the very early stages of heat. Great.
Tony has been on suppressants since puberty hit but after the heavy metal poisoning of the palladium in his arc reactor well, the toxic imbalance in his body made everything a bit out of whack enough that his doctor recommended coming off the suppressants for a while.
Until his body had established its own rhythm again.
Technically extremis, the calculated dose he gave himself, would have fixed the chemical imbalance along with his heart but Tony forgot about it and then decided to give his body a break from the chemicals.
You aren't supposed to stay on suppressants for years on end without a break.
He groans and reluctantly gets out of bed to take a shower, he feels both sticky and clammy but the warm water sorts out both enough that by the time he has slipped into a soft pair of fresh pyjamas he is feeling pleasantly languid.
He gets back into bed but spends the next half an hour twisting and turning before throwing off the covers in disgust.
He tugs the blanket up and wraps himself in it like a cocoon.
Pinned, hemmed in by the soft warmth Tony finds himself falling into a drowsy slumber.
A gentle knock comes at the door, a few hours later, about four in the afternoon. He knows who it is; only one person in the tower knocks gently.
"What's the password?" Tony asks, not looking away from the movie playing, projected against the wall.
Bruce steps in, pausing a moment as he spots Tony, still cocooned on his bed. Bruce glances at the movie - where a monster is currently panicking because they have a child's sock stuck to their shoulder – and wisely decides not to question it.
"So what brings you to my lair?" Tony asks, detangling his arm enough to chuck a packet of revels over.
Bruce catches it, semi-awkwardly, glances at the chocolate then walks over and puts it back on the bed.
"Agent Hill scrounged up some scans of the base for us to dissect." Bruce says, offering the tablet by placing it on the mattress. Tony squirms out of the blanket enough to free most of his torso and looks at the files.
"Oh." Tony says, stopping on one scan in particular.
"I know." Bruce agrees, with a small grin. "The energy expenditure doesn't match-"
"Unless, of course, it's being diverted to the-"
"-the readings. That would account for some of it but-"
"-shields need firmer groundwork than that. You're right, it doesn't explain it all."
"-not where the energy is coming from. I checked the grids, no reports of odd energy readings."
Tony and Bruce share a grin.
"So, that's three questions. Where are they getting their power source? How far those shields cover the grounds? And-"
"What the rest of the energy is being diverted to." Bruce finishes.
It wasn't very complicated to work out – Tony reckons if he and Bruce hadn't spotted the minor anomaly then Natasha would have – but it was a little interesting.
He pops a revel into his mouth. "Yes! Raison."
Bruce looks at him as if he declared he was going to paint all his suits purple.
"No one likes the raison ones." Bruce informs him, one eyebrow raised.
"More for me then." Tony insists, pushing the packet a little closer to Bruce. Bruce takes one with a smile.
"I like the orange ones."
"You would."
"What does that mean?" Bruce enquires, on the edge of laughter. Tony sniffs.
"Are you alright?" Bruce asks carefully.
"Does something have to be wrong to be eating chocolate and watching Monsters Inc?"
"No." Bruce answers sedately and then just looks at Tony.
Tony is good at ignoring people. He is even better at ignoring their expectations (apart from the times when he tramples them to dust and laughs as he speeds past). But something about the way Bruce will just wait and if he doesn't get an answer then he will continue like normal that gets right past Tony's defences.
"I'm fine." Tony eventually admits. "Just a little under the weather."
Bruce frowns a little and for all that he insists he isn't that type of doctor Tony can see him curb the urge to examine him.
"Alright then." Bruce says and they watch the movie in silence for a bit.
Tony can tell the moment Bruce realises. The scent of heat isn't overwhelming, it's not even all that noticeable but it is there.
The scent is subtle and Bruce is a beta which lowers chances of detection but Bruce is aware of his surroundings unless he's big and green.
"Ah." Bruce says quietly.
"Yeah." Tony sighs and goes back to watching the movie. Bruce stays with him until the movie ends then brings him a hot chocolate laden with marshmallows.
Bruce is the best.
#
"So is it an actual castle?" Tony asks.
"Despite the fact it is called Carlisle Castle the actual place is more accurately termed a Manor House, built over top of what was once a military castle." JARVIS answers and Tony spins out of the co-pilot chair of the Quinjet and goes to the back.
He's itchy in his skin, feverish.
Tony has met people before who actively enjoy being in heat, treating it more as a sexcapade holiday than anything else.
He settles into one of the more comfortable seats at the back of the jet, next to where Bruce has parked himself and rolls his head back. He can nap; it is a long flight even in the Quinjet.
He has cologne masking his scent and when he's in the armour that will hide it. It doesn't matter, a bad cold would be more distracting, it just isn't optimal.
He dozes restlessly through most of the flight.
The fight isn't all that spectacular when it comes down to it. Just another base, another group of minions (that are disappointingly not yellow like the film would have you believe, dam media lying again) and disappointingly the energy output that had seemed so promising earlier was just a mistake.
Incompetence fuelling a wastage of energy that is practically criminal. Tony thinks about it a bit more and then amends the thought. The wastage is criminal.
Dismayingly there is no secret passage that Tony can find, granted for once he is actually more excited about returning to the Tower and his bed than actually finding one but still.
Bruce, pretty content because they hadn't needed him to transform, allows Tony to lean against him in the jet and use his shoulder as a pillow.
For the record, Tony would not recommend the experience. Bruce's shoulder is not squishy or comfortable. He is warm though and Tony has the urge to just bask in him. A Bruce blanket.
He sleeps.
#
A firm knock comes from his door before it is opened and a familiar blond head and body enters.
Tony would have thought that Steve would have learnt to wait until the all clear was announced before entering his bedroom. Last time he came in when Tony was stark naked and arguing on the phone with Pepper, refusing to get dressed in a tuxedo. The time before is best not mentioned by anyone or to anyone.
Tony blearily looks up from his blanket burrito before snuggling into the soft blankets further and lazily watching Wall-E seduce Eva with a fire extinguisher. He idly contemplates trying that move himself before deciding that if he ever needs a fire extinguisher to up his game then he should just retire to a nice beach island and scandalously marry a woman half his age.
Although...Wall-E certainly seems to pull it off.
"What's up?" Tony asks, remembering he has a guest. Steve blinks at him, eyeing his flushed face and what is practically a blanket fort.
"I was going to ask you the same thing. You were quiet during the mission." Steve says, coming over to stand by the bed.
"Sit down." Tony says, shoving a half empty packet of chocolate onto the floor and out of the way. "Seriously, I'm getting a crick in the neck looking at you."
Steve sits.
Wall-E and Eva make a light show and perform a dance routine that would have Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers green with envy.
"Are you sick?" Steve asks.
"What? No." Tony answers a little dreamily. He's floating on a cloud and the light of the screen is just mesmerising.
"Oh." Steve says a few minutes later when realisation hits, his cheeks flushing pink. "Ah, I'll, uh, see you later then." Steve stutters out before hurriedly leaving the room.
Tony yawns.
#
His heat doesn't last that long, just a few days before he is back to normal.
Clint and Natasha bemoan the fact he is back in all irritating glory, Thor visiting Jane doesn't notice, Bruce smiles and Steve...Steve acts awkward.
Which is why Tony isn't all that surprised when Steve corners him in his work shop later on. If Steve has a problem he meets it head on and that includes awkward conversations that are better left untouched and forgotten in the back of a beat up Toyota.
"What's up?" Tony asks, and sue him for being a shit (someone actually tried to once, or twice) he repeats the question from three days ago.
Steve rolls his eyes but there is a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.
"The other day and during the mission you were under-you were in-uh,"
"I was in heat. Use your words, Cap." Tony prods, because he is incapable of leaving a button un-pressed.
Tony waits for the telling off, that he should have mentioned it before the mission, that he had jeopardised them all, that it was a simple recon that would have been fine without him.
"Right. And you were watching kids films and making a nest with your blankets..." Steve leads, swinging completely off tack from what Tony expected. He glances over, Steve seems...curious. Maybe they didn't go over all this stuff in class during the 1930's.
Mind you, Tony didn't go to class for dynamic education but that was mainly because he skipped through grades faster than most people do crushes.
"Yeah. Because that's what a heat is all about, eating my weight in chocolate and watching cartoons." Tony admits with rare honesty. Well, that's a lie, he is often honest but for him that isn't a virtue.
"Is that usual?" Steve questions, forgetting his embarrassment for a second before it rushes back. "Not that-"
"For me? Yes. Generally, it seems to depend on the person." Tony grins, amused.
"I thought-"
"That heat turned people into mindless sex fiends." Tony rolls his eyes. Steve says nothing but looks thoughtful.
"We were told that Alpha's smelling an Omega in heat would lead to..." Steve trails off, uneasy.
"Yeah, no. Could you imagine if the world was governed by people who couldn't overcome their instincts? Nothing would ever get done. It would be like a worldwide constant orgy. Which, on second thought is not all that bad-"
"I get it." Steve interrupts. "When I, uh, smelt the heat, I, uh,"
"You are allowed to mention dirty fantasies, you know, there isn't a police force made to stop you." Tony says, amused. "I do know that most of the time heats do actually lead to fucking."
"No, I mean, yes, but I had the urge to lie down on the bed with you and watch the film."
"Oh, I see, you wanted to be my personal blanket, cuddle monster." Tony grins. "Well, there isn't anything wrong with that, I know heat pheromones mess with your-"
"It wasn't a new urge." Steve interrupts, and even for Tony there has been a lot of interruptions in this conversation.
Tony blinks.
"So you want someone to cuddle with? I have the number of a couple of people who would not say no to a close up of those pecs-"
"Would one of those numbers be yours?" Steve blurts out, hopeful. Tony blinks again.
"I feel like there has been a miscommunication here." He states, still floored. Steve's face falls. "Right. Come here."
Steve steps forward, the disappointment turning quizzical.
"You're too tall." Tony grouses, stepping forward into Steve's space and looking up.
"That hasn't been a complaint I've heard yet." Steve remarks.
"I don't even think Pepper's highest heels would get me to the right height."
"Tony."
"Oh, right, yes. Kissing."
"What?"
Tony looks at Steve with as much exasperation as he can fit into one expression before he takes matters into his own hands and pulls Steve down into a kiss.
Turns out height doesn't much matter when they reach a vertical surface like a bed.
#
Carlisle Castle – North Yorkshire. Garfield 2.
Some people put meaningful quotes about life before a story, others put song lyrics from Shrek.
"Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need...I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero for the end of the night."