Title: Do You See The Stars?
Summary: Do you see the stars Kíli? Can you see them? They're waiting for you to join them…just let go.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit.
A/N: NO FLAMES! Not accepted.
2nd A/N: This is kinda
The stars had always been a wonder to Kíli. They are what he could see when they were in Ered Luin. Dwarves weren't used to living out in the open but Ered Luin was the best Thorin could do for them. He'd done well and the Dwarves were living – not in the lap of luxury – but well enough.
"Kíli? Come on back inside. Supper's ready." Fíli said from the door of their house, it was slightly larger than the other houses, a sign of their importance. The two Princes lived with their Uncle and mother. Their father unfortunately had died 5 years before when their mother was about to give birth to Kíli.
"Do you see the stars Fíli?" Kíli responded to his brother's voice. Fíli sighed and shook his head; a body stepped past him and scooped the smaller child up settling the giggling child up on their shoulders.
"Do you see the stars Uncle?" Kíli cheered and Thorin chuckled, a deep rumbling sound.
"Yes, Kíli. I can see the stars. You know your father is up there? Looking down at us. He can see you and see how big you're getting, see how well behaved you are." Thorin told him. He'd make a good father if he'd ever had kids.
"Can he see Fíli and Mama, and you and Karla too?" Another voice joined their conversation.
"Of course he can Kee. Your father can see us all." Karla stepped up beside her cousin and Uncle. Karla's own father, Frerin, too had died when Víli had.
"What about Uncle Frerin? And Grandfather? And Great Grandfather? Can they see us too Uncle?" Fíli's voice made Thorin glance down as Karla picked up the 10 year old Dwarfling.
Though a Human of the same years would be too big to be picked up and carried, Fíli was only the size of a four-year-old human and Kíli the size of a 2 year old. Though both had learnt all their words very quickly. From babe to toddler they grew quickly but then the growing slowed to a stop when they hit maturity. Karla was yet to reach maturity, she was barely a teenager. She was about 25 but she looked like a human girl would at 16. Fíli and Kíli were many heads shorter and she could easily place Fíli on her hip.
"Do you remember Uncle Frerin, Karla?" Kíli asked from his place on Thorin's shoulders.
"Not really, Kíli. No. My father and I did not talk much, and I did not see him often. But I know I loved him. And he loved me. Just as your father loved both of you. Now he may not have known you Kíli, but he loved you still."
"How?"
"He knew you could hear him in your mother tummy…"
Karla looked up from her Khuzdul lessons to see what her cousin was up to. Fíli was playing with wooden figured that his father had made him by the fire. Víli watched from where he sat on the rocking chair. Thorin tapped the parchment in front of Karla impatiently. Karla sighed and turned back reading out the words again stumbling slightly over some of them. She hated Khuzdul lessons with a passion. She finished with it as quickly as she could. Once her Uncle knew he had sufficiently lost her concentration, he let her go. She took a spot beside Fíli on the floor and the tot looked up at her and giggling pushing the elven warriors towards her.
"You gotta be evil."
"I'm always the enemy, Fíli. Why can't I be the damsel in distress that the dwarves have to save from the elves? And Daddy could be the Elves?" Karla suggested. Fíli thought this over before grabbing her hands and pulling her over so she sat between the two parties, her back to the fire. Víli smiled down at her and reluctantly took his place with the elven warriors; he knew to let Fíli win. It took a considerably short amount of time for the dwarves to kill all the elves and save Karla. And just as Karla scooped Fíli up into her arms to spin him around, the door opened. Frerin and Dis entered, Karla clutched her cousin to her chest but stopped spinning. Her father never approved of un-princess-like activities.
"Father? We did not expect you back so soon. Lady Dis." Karla said bowing her head to both. Around her father she could not call Thorin 'Uncle' or Dis 'Aunty'. It hurt not to call them such but Fíli was allowed to call Frerin 'Uncle'. He was a child, he could. She wasn't.
"I came back with Dis. I have something to discuss with Thorin. But then that isn't really a concern of a Princess. you should help Dis with dinner." Karla put Fíli down and followed her Aunty into the kitchen.
"Karla?" She shook herself out of her daydream.
"Sorry. I was remembering Father." Thorin gave her a small sad smile. Karla missed her father. She had loved him but Frerin had never actually told her he loved her. The day they had left for battle he had told her to stay safe and he had hugged her tightly.
The feeling of being so close to her father something Karla cherished.
"You make sure you stay safe. You're the only reminder I have of your mother. I miss her every day I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." He whispered in her ear.
"What if I lose you father?" She asked softly. He smiled at her as he pulled back.
"You won't." He told her and walked away with his older brother's arm around his shoulders.
Liar, Karla thought bitterly when he father's last words to her came back. He had told her she wouldn't lose him. She had been in the birthing room with Dis when Thorin had come back less two of the populace of the house. Víli and Frerin had both died in the battle.
After Fíli and Kíli had been put to bed, Thorin looked at his niece and could see the pain in her eyes still.
"Your father was firm for a reason, Karla." Thorin said. She nodded absently as she stared into flames as they began to die.
"He may never have told you he loved you, but she showed you didn't he?" Thorin said frowning.
"How Uncle Thorin? By telling me to help Aunty Dis with the dishes? By helping her prepared dinner? Not once during my memory did he ever tell me he loved me. The closest he got was by saying that he didn't know what he'd do if he lost me. Then he promised me he'd come back and he didn't. Look at me and tell me you don't see father." Karla snarled.
"You do look like him Karla. The last thing the Frerin said to me before he died…I was there…he made me promise to look after you. To love you like my own. He made me swear that I would do that. And I made sure I did. But I cannot tell you anything to make you feel better. Except that I love you Karla." Thorin said. Karla made to get up but a tugging on her skirt made her look down.
Fíli stood there, his blonde hair dishevelled and he looked tired but his eyes held a certain concern, Kíli stood behind his brother, thumb in his mouth hand wrapped tightly around his stuffed warg. He looked up at her with watery brown eyes and his head was cocked to one-side bird-like. Karla smiled and picked Kíli up before helping Fíli climb into her knee. They snuggled against her chest and settled against her. She looked towards Thorin who smiled softly at her.
"I may not have my father anymore, Uncle. But I have these two and I think they are enough now." She said and Thorin nodded watching as the pair fell asleep against their cousin.
Fíli and Karla stared at Thorin like he'd gone mad. They were 15 years apart and he wanted them to what?
"You can't be serious Uncle! We're cousins!" Karla said.
"It's a tradition and it's Fíli's turn." Thorin said. Their jaws hung slack. Fíli had just hit maturity and was at the right age to take a wife. Or at the very least start courting. But courting Karla, who had looked after every scraped knee to dislocated shoulder from every sore tummy to fever, was ridiculous. She would now be forced to marry him? That was not okay.
"You cannot seriously think that this will work!" Fíli and Karla said at the same time. Thorin's eyes were on Karla.
"It has to. It's either Fíli or Eldannen." He said off-handedly, Karla made a very unattractive face.
"From Moria? He is vile!" She protested.
"Then Fíli it is." He said. Kíli stood at the doorway of the room he and Fíli usually shared and frowned heavily. He was a little confused. Karla and Fíli had to marry? That was just a little gross. And they weren't completely open to it. Fíli and Karla looked at each other and shrugged, they'd have to deal with it. It was law and who were they to defy their King? So courting and marriage it was. And an heir if they could provide it. If Karla and Fíli could find it in them to do the deed that is. Fíli had always told Karla that any male would be crazy not to dream of lying with her but he had never thought of it himself of course. She was like a sister but now…now he had to think about it. This was going to be very difficult.
Of course, Kíli didn't always feel that way about his brother's impending nuptials. He actually found it quite amusing after a while. When the Yuletide Festivals came to Ered Luin he found every opportunity to hold a spring of mistletoe over Karla's head when she stood with Fíli to make them kiss. Karla – highly unamused- would wack Kíli's hand away and tell him to annoy someone else. Fíli would laugh and simply kiss Karla's cheek to appease his baby brother. Karla and Thorin were not amused. Karla saw it as Kíli having a laugh at her expense – but Thorin saw it as Kíli being the serial pest he was. Thorin almost throttled Kíli when late on Yuletide he held a particularly large spring of mistletoe over Karla's head. She snatched it from his hand and then turned away from him and walked away from both boys. Leaving Fíli to shake his head at his brother.
"You've gone too far now brother. You've been doing that since morning. The novelty has worn off." Kíli shrugged lightly and smiled crookedly at Fíli.
"It's just a bit of fun Fíli. It's rather amusing though. You and Karla. Don't you think?" Kíli said his smile growing. Fíli shook his head.
"Not anymore brother. It may have been at the start. Sometimes we can't choose." He said.
Kíli's smile vanished, "You're not saying you love her brother?"
"I always did Kíli. As a cousin. But sometimes our hearts have other plan for us." Fíli smiled softly as his gaze went to where Karla was standing now talking to Bofur. The mistletoe still clutched in her hand.
"You've been stealing Ori's poems again haven't you?" Kíli said with a frown.
"Brother, love isn't always as unwelcome as we believe it is." Fíli told him a hand on Kíli's shoulder.
"Has she told you that she accepts your affections, brother?" Kíli asked.
"I have not told her of them yet." Fíli replied.
"Well I'd think it best of you to tell her soon." Kíli said the underlying note of 'so I can pick up the pieces' was unsaid but Fíli knew it was there.
Fíli told Karla of his feelings and unsurprisingly for him they were returned. Kíli was disappointed he honestly thought that Fíli and Karla would never work. But somehow the cousins became lovers. They never got the chance to marry, but they did lay with each other. Kíli knew they had. It was the look of giddy happiness on Fíli's face that gave it away.
"It's sickening, Brother. How happy you are." Kíli said one day while they practiced.
"You will know it one day brother." Fíli told him with a smile.
"What?" Kíli frowned.
"Love – you will know it one day." Fíli said.
"Fíli! Fíli!" Both boys looked up to see Karla coming towards them she didn't run but she walked quickly to her lover with a wide smile on her face.
"What is it Karla? Is something wrong?" For the moment Kíli was forgotten.
"Not at all – nothing is wrong. I have some news; Óin confirmed it for me this morning…I am with child." Kíli was totally forgotten then when Fíli froze for a moment before he managed to spin Karla around as she squealed. When he put her down she turned to Kíli.
"You're going to be an uncle, Kee." Karla said with a smile. Kíli didn't look pleased, in fact he didn't even look upset.
"That's great. Congratulations both of you. I expect you've told Mother and uncle already?" He said, deadpan and emotionless. Fíli frowned.
"Not yet I wanted you both to be the first ones to know. You mean more to me than anyone else. You and Fíli. I love you both so much." Karla told him.
"Thanks. I'll see you later." He turned away and walked away back towards the house.
"Kíli!" Karla called but the youngest Prince didn't stop or even show any indication that he'd heard her.
"Don't worry, Karla. He'll come round." Fíli said. For the time the pair had been together neither had called the other 'my love' or even 'Ghivashel'. No one except Kíli knew they only called each other by name. He knew they did it for his sake but also because neither felt comfortable saying it to each other. They would say it one day but only when both were comfortable.
That night they made the announcement that Karla was with child and Dis squealed and jumped up to congratulate Fíli and Karla, Thorin told them he was happy they had finally consummated their affection. And Karla said she'd told Fíli and Kíli first – Kíli put on a fake smile and told them in his best fake overwhelmed voice that he was going to be an uncle. But Karla and Fíli knew it was fake.
The child was born not long before they reclaimed Erebor. Karla looked up from sitting on the front steps of the house in Ered Luin when young Gimli ran to her telling her that the company had reclaimed Erebor, that they requested all settlements of Erebor to return to the mountain. Karla was part of the first caravan to return to the mountain with Gimli and his mother. Dis would be in the last caravan to return because of her status.
Karla climbed carefully down and took her child from Gimli. He jumped down next to her; Karla cradled her son close to her chest and looked around her at the halls she had never seen before. They stepped through the gates and shouts and calls met their ears. 13 beings ran towards them, three paused when they saw Karla carrying a small bundle of blankets and then suddenly Fíli was beside her.
"Ghivashel…is this…is this…" He couldn't say it.
"Your son? Yes Fíli. This is Rurin." She said letting him see the small face that stared up at them.
"Rurin?" He said, studying the tuft of blonde hair and blue eyes that stared back at him.
"After my father…I would have named him something else but I had to choose and you weren't there." Karla said. Rurin gurgled happily and Fíli couldn't help but smile down at the child.
"Kíli? Uncle? Do you want to meet him?" Karla said looking up at the still shock dwarves. Thorin and Kíli slowly and stiffly moved forward. Thorin smiled down at the baby and gave Karla a kiss on the forehead.
"I'm proud of you." Kíli glanced down into the bundle and his eyes went wide as – when he rested his hand on the edge of the blanket – the child reached out and grasped his forefinger. The child clutched it tightly, as the other hand held tightly to Fíli's finger.
"He's strong for such a tiny thing." Kíli said.
"Rurin, son of Fíli, son of Dis." Karla said with a smile. Kíli smiled it was good name. A strong name. The name of a King. He was perfect.
Karla pushed Rurin into Gimli's arms. The young dwarf looked at her shocked but Karla gave him a small smile.
"You take Rurin, and you run all the way back to the Mountain, do you understand? You stay with your mother and Lady Dis, you understand Gimli? You must do this." The small boy nodded and turned around.
"Karla? Look after Dad will you?" He asked. She smiled at him and nodded.
"I'll do my best Gimli. Now go!" Karla said as she rushed down to the healing tents near the gates, they were too far from the mountain for Rurin to be safe but far enough for the wounded to be healed. Karla ran to the first tent and found already it had dwarves and Men in it, all of which needed healing. Karla joined the effort. Until she heard shouts and calls for services to the King and the Princes. Tears sprang unbidden to her eyes as she hurried to the tent to help them. But what she found was that there was no help to be given. She spoke briefly to Thorin and she passed a message to Gandalf that the Hobbit had to be found. There was to be no argument he had to be brought to Thorin.
Karla took up a place with her cousins. Kíli held her hand in his and Fíli grasped her other hand. It was time for Karla to say goodbye to her favourite Prince Charming and the most unlikely lover she'd ever thought to have. She knew that they did not have long left as did they but she would stay there with them and give them a calm presence as they passed into the halls of Mandos. They needed her there for her soft voice and calming assurance that they weren't alone in these last few moments of the life they had come to know and love.
"We did it for him you know." Kíli murmured softly, Karla tried to shush him but Kíli continued, "for Uncle and for the boy. So he could have the life we never did. So he could play his part in the world that his father never could. That he could be a leader and he could make his father proud, make his Uncle and Grand-Uncle proud of him." Kíli said his voice weak and shaking.
"You're already proud of him Kíli. He'll know all about you all. I'll tell him all the stories." Karla whispered pressing her lips to his knuckles and kissing it softly. She knew both Princes were crying she could see the tears trailing back their temples into their hair. But she was remained there on her knees between them.
Bilbo followed Gandalf into the tent and his eyes flickered to the trio on one side of the tent. If Fíli and Kíli had been children in life they were infants in death. Both had been cleaned of grime and dirt, Bilbo listened carefully to the voice he could hear coming from the crouching figure and he looked more carefully he could see Kíli's mouth moving as if he were still clinging to life tightly not ready to let go.
"Can you see the stars, Kíli? Can you see them? They are waiting for you to join them. Your father, my father, Grandfather and great grandfather. They are all waiting. You have to join them Kíli." Karla was whispering.
"What of…the boy?" Kíli hissed, Karla closed her eyes and nodded.
Emotion was evident as she replied, "Your nephew is fine, Kíli. Don't you worry." Nephew? Bilbo didn't know about any nephew. But then he had known that Fíli and Karla had to have some sort of sexual relationship mostly because of propriety. Cousins would have had to marry to keep the Durin line strong and Karla and Fíli were the obvious choice. He had heard the stories of the forced relationship Thorin had made them have despite them being 15 years apart in age. Karla had looked after Fíli and Kíli during childhood she'd entertained them and now she had had been forced to bear a child with her cousin.
"Look after him, tell him of his father." Kíli was losing the battle to stay alive.
"I'll tell Rurin about his valiant father and uncle. He will know all about Fíli and Kíli and Thorin and how they won back Erebor so he could have the life his family wanted for him." Karla whispered.
"I love you, cousin."
"Oh I love you too, Kíli. Always. I'll see you again one day…you and Fíli…" She whispered she felt Kíli let out his last breath and closed her eyes against the tears. Her hand was clasped in Fíli's hand as well. He didn't speak but Bilbo could see he too was alive but only just his breathing was shallow.
"Ghivashel…" he breathed too soft for Bilbo to hear but he could see what he said by Karla's reaction.
"I'll see you again, my love. Let go…I'll be with you again…let go." Karla whispered as she pressed a kiss to Fíli's hand, Bilbo saw the last exhale Fíli gave and Karla's eyes crushed tighter together.
"Princess?" She looked up suddenly, her eyes red and slightly bloodshot.
"I'll take him through, Gandalf. I need a chance to see him before…" Gandalf nodded and Karla got to her feet slowly and a little shaky she led Bilbo the rest of the way to where Thorin was.
"I'm sorry." Bilbo said, Karla shook her head.
"Don't be. They died defending their Uncle and there is no greater sacrifice than that. I told him they would never die for Erebor, they would die for him. I told him that." She told him, she paused and let a small smile cross her face. Thorin was awake and watching them.
"Karla, Bilbo." Thorin had hardly called Bilbo by name before, but he was dying after all. Karla moved to one side of Thorin and Bilbo knelt on the other side. Karla grasped her Uncle's hand; he too has been cleaned of grime and blood. He is weak and tired but has a few words left.
"How is he? Rurin?" He asked; Bilbo felt like he was intruding on a private moment between King and Princess.
"He is fine. He was in the mountain the whole time. He was nowhere near the fighting. I left him with little Gimli. Dis is with them." Karla said softly.
"She is a fine Aunt for the boy. Make sure he knows." Thorin said, she nodded.
"I'll tell him of his Valliant family, Uncle." She promised kissing his knuckles as she had done to Kíli only a short while before.
"Bilbo…I am sorry." The hobbit jumped as he was spoken to. The Hobbit raised his eyes to Thorin's and shook his head.
"No…no it's fine. I am sorry for taking the one thing that meant so much to you. I meant to save you all from this pain and heartache but I only made it so much worse. I feel as though I have killed you myself."
"Not at all Hobbit. You have made sure that Erebor remains ours. You have made sure that Erebor will remain under the rule of a Dwarf and not under the control of a Dragon. We owe you everything." Thorin said.
"But you are not safe or well…I was meaning to protect you." Bilbo said.
"You did more than enough, Bilbo." Thorin said.
"No I-" Karla cut the hobbit off.
"Bilbo…you brought them home safely to start with. Fíli was able to meet his son. Kíli, his nephew. They know that the Kingdom will be in capable hands. You did more than you were asked." She told him holding tighter still to her Uncle's hand.
"I thank-you, Halfling. You have done more than enough and we owe you our mountain." Thorin whispered. He closed his eyes, he turned his head to Karla and she knew what she had to do.
"Do you see the stars Uncle Thorin? Do you see them? Kíli and Fíli are waiting for you to join them. Thrain and Thror too! Can you see them Uncle? You have to go now, to join them…so just let go." Karla pressed another kiss to Thorin's knuckles as he exhaled for the last time. She gave Bilbo a sad watery smile and then got to her feet, excusing herself to go outside.
News reached Bilbo some thirty years later that Dis had passed peacefully in her sleep and that Rurin was growing quickly. When Bilbo went to Rivendell to live with the Elves until his death – he received news that Rurin now 60 years old would be ascending to the throne when he came of age in some twenty or so years. Bilbo knew that Fíli would be so proud of his son and Kíli of his nephew. He would even say that Thorin would be so proud of his niece raising a boy ready to be King. But the last words Karla spoke to her son before he slept rang in Bilbo's ears: Do you see the stars?
Review please! But if you didn't like it – DON'T REVIEW! Simple.
Ghivashel – Treasure above all treasures