Set in season 4. Post 4x07 (Cops and Robbers)
He had asked her to meet him at their swings.
She was already close by, just off from a shift at the station, and he smiled when he saw her making her way towards him from the sidewalk.
"Hey love,"
She grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tightly, needing to savor every moment of his presence, every second of his body pressed against hers. Castle hugged her back, his long arms wrapping securely around her waist. She bit the bottom of her trembling lip to stop the tears.
"Kate." he murmured her name after she remained there too long, silent with her face buried in the warmth of his neck, listening to the resounding beat of his heart travel through his frame.
"Don't cry, love."
She failed to contain the quiet whimper she released into his skin and he stroked her hair soothingly, like he did every time she ended up losing her composure in his arms.
"It's been a while," she whispered, reluctantly pulling away from him and wiping at her eyes. "I was afraid I wouldn't see you again."
"Wouldn't leave you, Kate," he assured her with a soft smile, lifting a hand to cup her jaw, sweeping his thumb along her cheekbone and collecting the stray streak of moisture staining her skin. "Sit with me a bit?"
She nodded and followed him to the swing set, tangling her fingers with his even as they sat down and their arms were forced to stretch.
"How are you?"
She swayed gently on the swing and shrugged.
"Not great."
"I'm sorry, Kate. Truly-"
"It's not your fault," she said automatically, squeezing his hand. "I just wish you would come back."
"I want to."
"I know."
"I will." he emphasized, like he always did, but she lowered her gaze.
"I'm so sorry, Castle."
"Please don't," he said immediately, tugging her swing closer by the metal of the chain holding her up. "You did everything you could that day. You still got the guy right? The one with the stupid name?"
"Trapper John?" she chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. "Yeah, I rushed in and took him down myself."
"Like the hellcat you are," he smirked proudly and she huffed, but felt her lips quirk.
She missed this. The effortless banter, the smiling, him. Never had she imagined how empty her life would become without him.
"Rick?" she uttered, and he looked over to her helplessly, already knowing what she was going to ask. What she always asked every time they met this way. "When are you going to wake up?"
Castle sighed, swept his thumb over her knuckles wistfully, and pulled her swing closer until their foreheads could touch. "Soon, I hope. Soon, Kate."
She jerked awake at the light squeeze of pressure on her shoulder.
"Kate, did you stay here overnight again?" Alexis asked, her eyebrows knit in concern as she hovered over her.
Beckett sighed and straightened up in the uncomfortable chair at his bedside.
"Lost track of time." she sighed the excuse, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and glancing forlornly at her still sleeping partner in the hospital bed.
She hated when she had those types of dreams; the ones that felt so real, as if she were actually seeing him, talking with him. As if she had him back.
Dream Castle was great, but she would always prefer the real thing.
"He'll wake up, Kate," Alexis said encouragingly. "The doctors have been saying a lot of positive things and it's only been a few days. Don't worry."
It still tended to surprise Kate how supportive Alexis could be towards her, how she had shifted from looking to Kate with blame to looking to Kate with understanding and sometimes for consolation. It had taken a few hours spent together, some tears and eventually some talking through the long stay in the waiting room, but the bitterness no longer lingered so strongly between them. Kate liked to believe it had begun to dissolve the moment the most important man in their lives was shot inside that bank.
"I know," Kate murmured, but there was no hope in her voice.
Of course she would never let go of the chance that he would open his eyes again - "it could be any time now", the doctors kept insisting - she just no longer had the energy to project it.
"You want me to bring you some breakfast? Grams is coming by soon, we could all have it together here with Dad."
Kate forced a smile for Alexis, knowing the girl was trying her hardest to keep her spirits up, to be as positive as she could manage.
"Sure, that sounds great."
His daughter smiled back and after a hesitant, but longing glance at her father, she was trotting out of his hospital room.
Kate waited until she was gone to drop her head back to the resting place of Castle's arm. Threading her fingers through his limp hand, she stayed quiet, listening to the steady sound of his heart monitor.
"You have to wake up," she whispered, squeezing his fingers lightly. "I have so much to tell you, so much... so much to confess."
She swallowed back the threat of tears because Alexis would be back soon and she couldn't let his daughter see her cry more than she already had. "I know I say this everyday now, but I love you, and I need to say it when you're awake."
Kate sighed to herself. Sometimes it felt pointless to talk to him when she knew it was unlikely he could hear her, but it had become a habit over the last week, along with sleeping in a plastic chair.
She heard the voices of Alexis and Martha echoing in the hallway outside and lifted her head, lifted his hand for a brief kiss to his knuckles.
She swore she felt his hand twitch under her lips.
A/N: Thank you so much if you took the time to read this unplanned little one shot. I know it's short and not great, but I cast all of the blame for it upon a video I accidentally found last night (youtube dot com slash watch?v=JNQ2pGTjYyk)
Feedback is always welcome and greatly appreciated.
tumblr: bravevulnerability
twitter: onlythebattles