It's Sunday morning, Castle is lying in bed reading the newspaper. It's dark, and dreary outside. A September shower is on going outside. The tapping on the window pane is a reminder of their foiled plans. He looks over at Beckett. She sits in bed, with her hair pulled into a sloppy bun. She leans against the headboard, with the paper covering her lap. He furrows his brow, realizing that she is staring blankly ahead, instead of reading the words on the page in front of her. He clears his throat. She doesn't look at him.
"Kate?"
She still doesn't look at him, as she responds, "Yeah?"
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," she lies.
"Are you sure?"
"I think I'm just going to go," she answers.
"Go? Go where? We have the day off which is rare. We have the house to ourselves which is damn near impossible. Why do you want to leave?"
"I just need to go," she responds, as she pushes the covers off of her.
"Let's talk about this. What is going on?"
She sits on the edge of the bed, "Nothing," she lies.
"Kate why do you want to leave all of the sudden?"
"I didn't realize what today was," she mutters as she slides out of the bed.
He stares at her, as she moves away from the bed. He climbs out of bed, walking around the end. He approaches her as she pulls on a pair of pants. He gently grabs her arm.
"What do you mean you didn't realize what today was?"
"Nothing, never mind," she responds, "Let go of me, please," she tells him in a subdued tone.
"Are you ok?" he wonders.
"I just want to go home, and be alone for a while, ok?"
"I can respect that. Can you please explain?"
"No," she shakes her head, still refusing to make eye contact.
"Ok," he lets go of her.
She exits the room. She leaves the apartment. He doesn't follow her. He heads to the bathroom to get into the shower, and try to make sense of what's just happened. An hour later he's showered, dressed, had breakfast, and read the entire newspaper. He sits in his office in front of his computer. He searches the date, for the past ten years of crimes committed in the city. He scrolls through pages, and pages, but nothing sticks out.
She sits in her living room, on her couch. She sits in silence, alone in the apartment. She listens to the sound of the rain tapping on the window, outside. A day like this brings back too many memories. She swallows hard, and returns to the task at hand. She looks at the manila folder lying in front of her. There are papers strewn across the couch. On the coffee table there are papers scattered everywhere. To an outsider the miscellaneous papers look like a disaster, to her it all makes sense, except for the fact that they even exist.
She's in the middle of reading one of the papers, when she hears someone knocking on her door. Knowing who it is, by the fact that she's missed half a dozen phone calls from him in the past hour, she doesn't stir. She remains quiet, hoping that he might go away.
"I know that you're in there," he calls from the other side.
She doesn't budge, and she doesn't dare say a word.
He continues, "I am not going anywhere until you open the door. I can stand out here in the hallway all day if I have to."
She groans, and lifts a pile of papers off her lap. She places the papers on the coffee table, in front of her, and vacates her seat on the couch. She takes a deep breath, and approaches the door. She places her hand on the lock. It takes her several moments to get up the courage to turn the lock. Finally she twists the lock, and pulls the door open. She leaves the chain in place, so that he can't waltz in. He furrows his brow.
"Really? You're not going to let me in."
"What are you doing here?" she questions him.
"I came to check on you."
"Why?"
"You wouldn't answer my calls, or my texts. I was worried about you."
"I was avoiding you," she admits.
"Why? Kate just tell me what's going on."
"I can't."
"You can't, or you won't?"
"I told you that I just needed to be alone. Can't you respect that."
"You know I have difficulty with boundaries. You have always known that."
"This time I am asking you, nicely to give me some space."
"How much space?"
"I just need you to leave me alone."
"For how long."
"I just need today."
"Tell me why," he begs.
"If I tell you why you won't leave."
"I promise that I will."
"Don't make promise that you can't keep, ok?"
"Kate I don't understand. What happened? We were going to spend all day together, just hanging out around the house, just the two of us. You start reading the newspaper, and then you suddenly need to be alone. What is going on? What happened today?"
She shakes her head, "It isn't about today."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"You didn't do anything. Not everything is about you."
"I am sorry for being so egotistical. Please explain to me what is going on. Kate please let me in."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Then make me understand."
"I can't make you understand something that I have never understood, myself."
"Kate what happened? What is so special about today?"
She shakes her head, "Not special."
"Awful? Terrible? Tragic?" he supplies adjectives.
"All of the above," she admits.
"Tell me. I am not going anywhere. I am here for you. Please," he begs.
"I just, I can't."
"Why not? After everything that we have been through? I feel like you still don't trust me."
"Castle it has nothing to do with me trusting you, or not."
"Then what does it have to do with?"
She swallows hard, and looks him in the eyes, "There are a lot of things that you don't know about me. There are a lot of things that I have never told you."
"Things that you are never going to tell me?"
She shrugs, "I just don't know if I can. I don't know if I can ever tell you."
"Secrets drive a wedge between people," he reminds her.