Her long fingers are entwined in mine, our hot hands clasped beneath the blanket. Sporadically she runs her thumb over my hand and I snuggle closer each time. Her strong scent fills my nose and it makes me giddy. I want to scream my love out from a rooftop, or a beach, or over the school PA system. I wish I could shake people so hard that I'd rattle the extremes of my emotions into their brains. Then they'd see.
They'd see what I see when I look at her, when her deep green eyes meet my own plain brown ones and there's that moment when she ignites my soul, and I feel calm and collected and normal. She stills me, my racing mind and frantic thoughts. Her touch is like a soothing balm, seeping into me and releasing all of the stress and trouble in my day to day existence.
What we have, it's different. It's new and it's exciting, but there's a part of me quivering in fear. I don't know if this is real to her and it sets me on edge. Only when I'm away from her, though.
When I'm laying here next to her, eyes glued to the television while we snuggle, I can't feel anything but happiness. She means the world to me and I don't question her motives. Part of me whispers that this is just a phase, that she'll leave me as soon as she finds someone better or prettier or smarter or something that just isn't me. I tell that part to be quiet, that I know what I'm getting myself into. Maybe she doesn't really love me back, but I'm prepared to take that chance.
She turns to look at me and her eyes say that she loves me. Her face is soft and relaxed as she smiles at me and gently squeezes my hand. As she turns back to the television, I lean my head onto her shoulder and nuzzle her neck.
This may be transitory, but I'll take what I can get.
I love Jade West.