It was a beautiful sunny day in Konoha. But in every day like this one has trouble arousing. For example:
"GAAAAAAAHHH!! NO PLEASE!! HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!"
"WE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! WE PROMISSSSSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!"
"YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN!!!!"
"YOU GUYS ARE JUST SOME SICK JACK ASSES!!!!"
"WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Uhm…do you guys want your coffins readied?!"
Yes…such trouble indeed. It all started earlier that morning at the edge of Konoha in a little Mansion.
"Okay guys, Tsunade-sama called to say that Yasuo and I are assigned on a D-Rank mission." Sumei said putting on his green Jonin vest. "Since Kotae's sick, I'm putting Wren in charge, will I soon will doubt myself for."
"Hey, you can count on me!" Wren retorted.
"Aha…I never knew you had a sense of humor." Yasuo scoffed earning a glare from Wren.
"Takeo, the medicine for Kotae is on the table. I'm depending on you to give it to him at 12 nn and look after Wren for us. Don't give in to his shitty temptation or face the wrath of four fists. You got that?" Sumei told him.
"Yes, sir!" Takeo trembled.
"And Wren, mess with this kid's mind and you'll see your grave all set for you." Yasuo derided.
"Yeah, yeah, now go or you'll be late!" Wren said.
"All right. No leaving the house, no porn stars, no heavy liquor, no anal sex with a random bitch, no messing with Kotae and strictly NO PARTIES IN THE HOUSE, or see your brain explode." Sumei warned.
"Sheesh! What are you, my mom??" Wren yelled. "A boring old woman who is so KJ!"
"Nice try, Chi. I'm not backing down on my ground rules. We'll see you later."
Sumei and Yasuo took off slamming the door behind them.
"Tch! Rules, rules, rules! I hate being treated like a 14 year old!" Wren exclaimed. "We can take care of ourselves! What are they thinking?!"
"Apparently, they don't trust us that much. All the trouble we caused really got them heated." Takeo said.
"But--GAHHHH!!" Wren plopped down on the sofa feeling defeated.
"So…what are we going to do now?"
"We ain't doing nothing! We can't leave, and we can't get people to come here! It'll be just the two of us and a sick gay comrade in bed!"
"Well…we can't break the rules…"
Wren's face lit up. "Why didn't I…that's it! We're going to party right now!"
"But I just said--"
"They won't find out! They'll be gone for a long time and if we sense their chakra, we'll kick the people out and fix the house with our Jutsus!"
"Yeah, but Kotae will find out for sure! Eventually, he'll contact Sumei and we're done for."
"The medicine! Where is it?"
"Over at the table." Takeo said gesturing to the bottle. Wren smirked and grabbed it. "What are you going to do?"
"We're just going to put some sleeping poison in it and give it to him!"
"But Sumei said—no wait…we're breaking the rules, right?"
"Don't you want to have fun today?"
"Yeah…but I can't let you do this!"
"That was also part of Sumei's rules. You gotta break that too."
"…right…"
"Besides, if you work with me, I'll let you be the host…and they'll never insult you about your height again."
"LET'S DO IT!!"
---------------------------------
"Are you sure that's it?" Takeo asked eying the little sleeping potion on Wren's hand.
"Well it has to be! I'm feeling faint just by touching it." Wren replied. He poured the whole content into the medicine bottle. He gave it a little shake and laid it on the table. "There. You should give it to him now."
"I think I'm going to regret doing this…"
"Don't think, then! I'm going to make a call." Wren walked away heading towards the telephone. Takeo stared at the bottle. 'Sumei'll snap if something bad happens to Kotae…I just hope this was the right potion…'
He took the bottle and went to Kotae's room. He peered inside and saw him snuggled up.
"Kotae?" Takeo muttered.
Kotae slowly opened his eyes and looked at him. "Hey…Takeo…" he muttered hoarsely.
"Here's your medicine." Takeo handed him the bottle, hesitating at first.
"Thank you…" Kotae sat upright and got the bottle. "Where's Sumei?"
"He and Yasuo are on a mission right now." Takeo had his head lowered blameworthy.
"So he put you and Wren in charge?"
Takeo nodded slowly. Kotae smiled.
"You should treasure their trust, you know. If they didn't leave you two to look after this house, they would've sent Itchinaho here. But they didn't. Be good, all right? This is your last chance to prove yourselves."
Takeo stayed silent. Now he was really guilty. He looked at Kotae who was drinking the bottle. He bit his lip. He really wished he stopped Kotae from drinking it, but there wasn't a choice left. That medicine was the only bottle left, and if he did throw it away, Kotae would never get any better. Kotae put his hand on his forehead.
"I think I feel a bit…somnolent…" He muttered as he fainted on his bed. Takeo bit his finger. Blood dripped on the sterile floor.
"Takeo!" He heard Wren say. "Get down here!"
Takeo ran down and went to Wren. "What?"
"Did he take it?"
"Yeah…"
"Good! Cause I thought you stopped him and our plan would be ruined." Wren took out a bottle of Sake and drank from it.
"There wasn't a choice after all…" Takeo muttered bandaging his wounded finger.
"You got that right!" Wren wiped his mouth and left the wine on the table.
"So when are they coming?"
"Eh…5."
"5.00 pm?"
"4…3…2…1…"
Suddenly, a horde of people barged in yelling. Takeo stood agape while Wren stood pompously.
"So…what are you going to do?" Wren asked Takeo smirking.
"I'm…" Takeo stared at Wren, "going to get ready!"
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Kotae fluttered his eyes. He rubbed them and looked at the clock. 'Oh my god…4 hours passed already?' He stretched a bit. "Hey…I don't feel ailing any more!" He got out of bed and dressed. He ran down the stairs. "Hey, I'm all right, now! I think I'm even in the mood to--"
He stopped as he saw unfamiliar people dancing and talking. "…party?"
He looked around and noticed there were a lot of perverts and whores. "Wren?! Takeo!"
Takeo appeared bumping into people. "Hey Kotae! Do you want a horse doover?"
"A what?"
"A horse doover! Aich oh ahr ess space dee apostrophe oh ee--"
"That's hors d'oeuvres." Kotae said crossing his arms. "You don't pronounce it like its spell…"
Takeo smiled childishly.
"Why are there hors d'oeuvres, Takeo?" Kotae asked. "And is that Ebisu doing the can-can? Yikes…"
"He took a long time to lighten up…but now, he's a party animal!"
Suddenly, a random guy with a cardboard on his head ran past them saying, "PARTEE!!"
"Speaking of party animals…" Kotae muttered. "Why is there a party, Takeo?"
"It was Wren's idea! He said that we could break the rules as long as there's no one to tattle to Sumei and Yasuo. So we put a drowsing potion in your medicine!"
"You did what?!"
"Then he said I could be the host if I didn't join his plan!" Takeo said balancing the tray on his head. "So I did, and ta-da! A party!!"
Kotae furrowed his eyebrows. "So where is the 'master' of this plan, hm?"
Takeo smiled childishly at him. "Wren!!!" he yelled.
"What?!?!" Wren yelled back. HE stopped dead on his tracks as he saw Kotae glaring at him. "Kotae! How nice…to join us! What the hell are you doing here??"
Kotae scoffed. "This is our house!"
"But you're supposed to be--" Wren glared at Takeo. Takeo shuddered.
"I did make him sleep!!" he yelled.
"Then why is he not asleep??"
"Because sleeping potion also has a good effect on sickness; you guys should know that since you used it!" Kotae scolded. "And why the fuck are these people here inside our house? Sumei and Yasuo trusted you both and you repay them with this?? They were right. You guys will never be mature enough."
Wren and Takeo lowered their heads. "We're sorry…" they muttered at guilt.
Kotae sighed. "I'm calling them." He decided.
Wren shot up and grabbed Kotae's waist. "Kotae! You can't tell them!"
"And why not?!"
"Because--!! We'll figure out how to get them outta here, I promise! Just give us some slack this time and lie for us…please? I don't want to…" Wren trailed off and stared at the floor.
Kotae looked at him with the corner of his eye, and then sighed. "All right, all right…I'll give you some slack, but first…"
"What?"
"Let go of my waist. NOW."
Wren quickly withdrew with his hands up. "S-S-Sorry!!"
"Yes, yes. Now drive these animals away."
"Wait. Can I just--"
"No."
"But I'll be--"
"Forget it!"
"It's just for--"
"WREN."
"But I'm just going to tell someone something!!"
Kotae paused and looked at him. He stared at him for a while which was a bit awkward for Wren. Kotae smirked. "So you finally love someone?"
Wren rolled his eyes. "Yes. Praises for the dude who can read thoughts..."
"You sure it's not lust?"
"Yes…now, can I--"
"Are you still straight or do you still like Sumei?"
"MOM!" Wren exclaimed.
The music screeched to a stop. The so-called 'visitors' stared at Wren and Kotae. Takeo looked around not knowing a thing on what's going on.
"No, no no! This—HE isn't my mom! It's just—He's just—just get with the party, okay??" Wren yelled. Convinced, the party continued. Wren drew a jagged breath.
"Why is it that you keep lying to protect your identity?" Kotae asked him.
"It's…I…I don't know!"
"Did you lie to this girl?"
"…no…"
Kotae stared at him directly to his eyes. Wren stared back. Kotae smiled. "Good boy. Then why do you want me to lie so badly?"
"So that we won't get into trouble!"
"It's your stupid jackass fault anyways. You deserve it."
"I know! It's just…I really didn't want to break the rules…it's just that Sumei shelters us too much. He and Yasuo are too over-protective!"
"They just…care about us."
"But still…it got me pissed and since I easily give in to my bad side, I talked Takeo into joining me. Then I realized that if that potion thingy went wrong, he would be punished with me…and it's not his fault…" Wren looked at Kotae. "Please? Don't tell…"
Kotae kept silent. He sighed. "All right…"
Wren's face lit up. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!" He said hurriedly.
"Yeah, yeah. Now go to your Juliet before she finds another guy."
Wren dashed off. Kotae simply smiled.
"Ne, Kotae-teme!" Takeo called out. Kotae looked at him. "What is it Takeo?"
"Now that you're on our side, you should get into a party mood!"
"No, it's okay. I'll just stay upstairs until it's all over."
"What?! Are you a partygoer or a party-pooper?!" Takeo yelled, or perhaps, scolded.
"Excuse me?" he scoffed.
Takeo put out his tongue. "No wonder you know nothing about going out! You only go out when Sumei's with you!"
Anger boiled within Kotae. He kept smiling but his eyebrows furrowed. "Takeo, you should know that you're going to die if you keep mocking me."
"Indoor person!"
"That's it!" Kotae pounced on Takeo. Takeo pulled his hair and kicked his stomach, while Kotae punched him and almost ripped his arms off. The fight grew attention, and no sooner did they begin to cheer and take sides.
"Now this is the party!" a random guy said.
"Go rip his hair!" another guy yelled.
"Take his head clean off!" a girl exclaimed.
Wren peered over the crowd and gasped at Kotae and Takeo who were really taking the fight seriously.
"I'm gonna teach you a whole new lesson, squirt!" Kotae seethed.
"Bring it on, old lady!" Takeo smirked.
Kotae charged at Takeo and he did as well. Wren pushed his way through the crowd and stopped them just in time. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WERE YOU GUYS DOING?!?!" He yelled holding both boys on their collars; Kotae's was on Wren's right hand and Takeo's was on the left. Wren pulled them away and dropped them outside. He closed the door behind them.
He glared at Kotae. "You were supposed to be the 'matured' dude here in the house! What were you doing killing Takeo?"
Kotae looked away; face high up in the air.
Wren glared at Takeo next. "And you, baka saru! What did you say which made Kotae so mad?! You stupid head!" Wren hit Takeo on the head.
"Oww! I was just telling him to join the party!"
"Yeah, just keep on making excuses, bozu!!" Kotae sneered.
"You shut up! You act like a proper host! Now kiss and make up so my migraine can now part from my aching head!!" Wren yelled. He stepped back inside and plopped down his chair. 'Shit! Who knew being a 'Yasuo', an 'Itchi' and a 'Sumei' would be so hard?!' Wren thought in his head. Suddenly, he heard Takeo scream.
The wall smashed revealing a band of Rain Nins. Takeo and Kotae ran in and positioned themselves beside Wren.
"What the fuck? Ninjas from Amegakure?" Wren muttered.
"That's…that's Oboro and his team." Takeo said in horror.
"Nice to see you three again." Oboro snickered.
"But where are the other two? The contradictory siblings. Tsuki and Hotoke?" Mubi asked.
"They're on a mission." Kotae said glaring at them.
"That's too bad…we always remembered how they tried protecting you three. Too bad they won't come and rescue you now." Kagari laughed.
"What do you want??" Wren retorted.
"We're sent here to kill you five, but it seems those two who we were craving to kill aren't here right now." Mubi said.
"No matter…we are still lucky to have you, Chi and Hitori, for appetizers. I guess we can bring Kitenai with us and kill you right in front of Sumei's face. That would be a classic." Oboro laughed.
Kotae bit his lip. "Who said we wanted to be…your meal?" An idea struck his mind. He looked at Takeo. Then he looked at Wren. 'We all knew this Amegakure team from our childhood. They were a year younger than all of us. We used to play together…and surely they still have a soft spot for all of us.'
"Well, let's get eating then. Mubi, Kagari, get those party people out of my sight!" Oboro ordered. Kotae raised his hand.
"Stop!" he yelled.
"What is it now, Kitenai Kotae?"
"That's Kotae-san…remember?"
"Tch…those were past times which should be burnt down!"
"Yes…well, they'll never stop haunting you, O-bozu."
Wren and Takeo held their laughter. They remembered how they used to call him that. Oboro sneered.
"Anyways, before you try to kill us and rip our flesh," he smiled the casual way, "would you like a horse doover?"
Oboro, Mubi and Kagari stared at him awkwardly. "A what?"
Kotae winked at Takeo whose face lit up. "Horse doover, coming right up!" He arrived with a silver tray with assorted hors d'oeuvres. "Horse doover?"
"Why do we want to eat anything you made??" Kagari questioned.
Takeo's eyes began to water. He pouted childishly. "You…you don't like my food anymore? Huh, Kaga-chan?" Takeo burst out crying.
Kagari winced.
"Waahh!! Kaga-chan is so mean to me now! He hates me so much!! Waahhh!!"
"How could you, Kagari?" Wren scolded.
"You are being sarcastic, Chi." Mubi said bluntly.
"What? The great almighty Mubi has once again risen from his eternal throne of boredom!" Wren said waving his hands around.
"Stop that!"
"Or what, send me to hell?!"
"That is a great idea!" Oboro, obviously losing patience, began tearing everything in sight. "I can't take this anymore! I'm going to kill every one of you!! No life will ever be spared under my control!!!" He threw everything around and chased every person there.
"No! Stop it Oboro!" Takeo yelled.
"Well, that didn't work..." Kotae muttered annoyed.
Oboro took no heed of what Takeo was screaming. He continued tearing everything. He burned his past memories and went berserk. He picked up a bowl of Fish, namely Sumei's Fish given by Saito, Kurashi, Itchinaho, Suki, Go, Ramazuki, Obito and Kakashi.
"No!!" Takeo yelled. "Obo--"
"PUT THE FISH DOWN!" a voice yelled.
Everyone's heads turned to the door. Standing right there was Sumei and Yasuo. They glared at everyone in the room, mostly at Oboro.
"Didn't you hear me? Put the fish down." Sumei ordered.
Oboro quickly obeyed and put it down. Sumei and Yasuo looked around and sighed. "When I count to ten…" Sumei muttered. "There should be no one left at our sight. NO ONE." He glared at Oboro, Mubi and Kagari as he emphasized 'no one.'
"What are you babbling about Su--"
"ONE!" Everyone quickly ran past the two infuriated figures standing at the door. In a split second, everyone except Wren and Takeo were left.
Kotae came in with a phone in hand.
Sumei and Yasuo glared at the three. "Do I even want to know why…all this happened?" Sumei asked.
"No…" Wren said lowering his head. "But you have to…"
"That's right. We have to know why you spat on the trust we gave to you! Why did you do this? We thought you have matured enough…that you learned your lesson! And now, everything in this messed up house is mocking us and tells us, 'Why did we even trust you?!' "
Takeo, Wren and Kotae lowered their heads. Wren exhaled. "Sumei, Yasuo, this is all my fault. I was just so sick and tired of you guys treating us like kids. You were being over-protective, so I got pissed off and I broke every single one of your rules. I talked Takeo into throwing a party with me and making Kotae drink a sleeping potion which was mixed in with his medicine, and as I thought everything was going to plan, I saw Kotae up and well and I pleaded him not to tell you guys."
"I got convinced." Kotae continued. "Then, I had a fight with Takeo because of some things he said which pissed me off, and Wren stopped us in time. Then Oboro, Mubi and Kagari came and told us their mission was to kill the five of us. We started picking on them like how we used to back when we were kids. Oboro had a rampage and started tearing the place down so I quickly ran to the phone and called you up."
Silence grew in the room.
Sumei and Yasuo were really angry now. "Why?" Yasuo asked. "Why can't you just grow up for a change? You guys aren't kids anymore! There ain't a future nor a past, so stop thinking there is. That's why we gave you one last chance to prove yourselves worthy. And see what happened. Those debris and dust all over the floor? That's the jackass trust we gave you. All in ruins. What do you expect us to do with you?"
They stayed silent for quite a while. Takeo spoke up, "go ahead. Leave us outdoors and ban us from your lives forever. I still think it would be a shitty thing to do."
Yasuo and Sumei glared at the three. "We could do that." Sumei said flatly.
Their eyes widened.
"In fact, we have done that already." Yasuo muttered.
"But we cared so much about you that we were inseparable. It really hurts right now that you can't even take care of one simple thing which was given to you…" Sumei said.
The three kept their heads lowered. "We're sorry…" they muttered.
"We'll never do it again…" Wren said.
"We'll never take things for granted again." Takeo said.
"Just...don't leave us out in your lives…" Kotae said.
Silence grew once again. Sumei and Yasuo sighed.
"We won't leave you guys out." Yasuo said.
"It's just too disappointing that you guys held a party against our will…" Sumei said.
"But you guys also did something that made us proud." Yasuo smirked, if you can call it that. The three listened attentively.
"Kotae," Sumei started. "I know you're a caring guy…always concerned for others…I'm proud that you wanted to cover up for Wren so that he wouldn't get into trouble. It was a smart thing that you called me up as soon as Oboro tried to tear this whole place down."
Kotae smiled a small grin earning a slight blush from Sumei.
Yasuo elbowed Sumei, as if it meant 'Stop thinking horny thoughts and continue.' Sumei blushed and cleared his throat.
He then looked at Takeo. "Takeo…Wren got into your brain again?"
Takeo said nothing.
"It's all right. All of us get into temptation sometimes, right? I know you still doubted yourself for giving into this plan when you gave Kotae the medicine, am I right?"
Takeo blushed.
"I understand that you can be a rowdy guy, but I also know that there's a courting gent inside you. I know you can't stop yourself from being childish, so take your time. Life isn't pressuring you all the time."
He sighed then looked at Wren with a 'geez-I-have-to-teach-you-a-lesson-like-I-always-do-but-do-you-listen-of-course-not-cause-if-you-were-I-wouldn't-be-here-standing-in-front-of-you-trying-to-teach-you-yet-another-lesson-I-keep-teaching-you' face.
'Ugh…here we go…' Wren thought in his mind.
"Wren…" Sumei started. "You still need to learn more. Face it, everywhere you go has rules. Strip clubs have rules. Honeymoon motels have rules. Sex has rules. It's either you break them and break your neck, or follow them or bend them a bit. You can't escape for a free world. See those clouds up there? They look free, but they're actually following something. Some sort of rule to follow like 'Today, we're cirrus clouds' or some fucking crap besides that."
Wren forced himself not to snicker.
"Rules are there to keep you safe from doing something you'll regret. See? You're regretting you broke our rules right now. If you honestly think we're too over-protective, then you should look at all those mothers and fathers out there. They keep their kids from danger. And now, we are all here together. We all had terrible pasts, especially involving our parents."
The rest lowered their heads.
"I can't replace your fathers, but I am always here to act like one for all of you. You guys know that I'm here right? I don't know if I really act more of a wrenched daddy, but at least the thought counts."
Silence grew.
"We just…care for you…like a real family. Cause that's what we are. A sick asshole family with a gay kind-hearted doctor, a childish glutton, a horny pervert, a corrupt gun dude, and a crappy kid-loving gay."
Kotae, Takeo and Wren snickered. Even Yasuo showed a rare smile.
"But like every family, there are punishments."
"What are you going to do with us?" Takeo asked.
"We live up to our promises." Yasuo said cracking his hands.
Takeo and Wren gulped. "What…promise?"
Sumei and Yasuo smirked.
"GAAAAAAAHHH!! NO PLEASE!! HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!" Takeo yelled.
"WE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! WE PROMISSSSSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!" Wren screamed.
"YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN!!!!" Sumei yelled holding a huge spear.
"YOU GUYS ARE JUST SOME SICK JACK ASSES!!!!" Yasuo yelled with a machine gun.
"WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they both yelled.
"Uhm…do you guys want your coffin readied?!" Kotae questioned putting his hand parallel to his forehead. "Ohh…" He dialed up a number.
'Hello? Shizune here.'
"Shizune-san? Get here with bandages and medicines…quick."