It's Called 'Aro'

by esompthin

Gabe was just chilling in his bed, when none other than Sam calls, extremely upset and going through an identity crisis. Gabe comes to the rescue. In which Sam is Aromantic.

Gabriel sat sprawled across his bed, flipping through a magazine lazily. As he browsed articles about how to make the best chip dip and the oldest found Dinosaur bone, a shrill ringing went off.
Gabe looked around for his phone, wondering who the hell called anymore and deciding it was probably Michael. He found his cell under a pillow.
Answering without looking at the name, he said, "Yello."
He put the phone on speaker mode and set it on his chest, still casually flipping through the magazine. If Michael was going to yell at him, he was not going to put the magazine down.
There was silence for a few moments that made Gabe frown. Maybe it was a butt dial.
"Hello?" He tried again.
There was a deep, broken breath that made Gabe push himself up to his elbows.
"Um, G-Gabriel?" The voice crackled through the phone's speakers. "Do you... Do you have a minute?"
Gabe would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Samsquatch Winchester, Dean's little brother. Dean is Gabe's best friend, and so he's spent plenty time around the younger Winchester. Gabe watched him grow up. There was a special place in Gabe's heart for the boy.
He would even dare to say he had a crush on the little nerd.
But then said nerd went off and got his first girlfriend and crushed Gabe's hopes and dreams. Well, okay, not his dreams. Those still thoroughly enjoyed all the Sam-y possibilities.
Anyway, phone call.
"Of course, Sammy-kins, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" His voice started out calm, but he couldn't hold back his worry for long.
"I- No - No - I..." His voice was thick with emotion, it made Gabe's stomach drop. He sat up, took the phone off speaker and held it up to his ear. Somehow this conversation seemed more intimate than just speaker phone could provide. "I- I'm sorry. I- I didn't know who else to call. Dean wouldn't understand. He- he just wouldn't. And I didn't want to talk to Jess about this yet, because..."
"Oh, my god, you're pregnant!" Gabe said, scandalized.
That startled a laugh out of Sam. Success! He could picture the boy, on the verge of tears, shaking with emotion; suddenly his face lit up with something akin to happiness as he chuckled.
"Ah, no, no. Nothing like that. Um, kinda. I mean." There was another deep breath. "I, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course, Sammich. What's wrong?" Gabe was chewing on his lower lip, trying to figure out what had Sam so crazed.
"...Um, how- how did you find out you were Pan?" Sam asked quietly.
Gabe got off his bed, he was going to close the door, but then a thought occurred to him. He stopped in his tracks, standing in the middle of his room.
"Hold on. Are you home right now?" Gabe asked.
There was a pause as Sam swallowed, "Y-yeah."
"Is Dean around?" Gabe asked. He didn't bother asking about John. Sam and Dean's dad was never around.
"No, he's, um, he's on a date. Or something. With Cas." Sam was sniffling now, his voice a little less emotional as he focused on answering his questions.
"Oh yeah, Cassie told me about that. He was really excited for it." Gabe mumbled, looking around for his keys.
"Dean wouldn't talk details, but he changed his shirt three times." Sam said, breathing easier now.
Gabe moved quickly, sliding on shoes and a jacket while talking, "Cas brushed his teeth twice."
Sam huffed a laugh, "Those nerds. It's about time."
"Ten bucks says they mess it up somehow." Gabe found his keys next to something that was probably editable five weeks ago and ran down the stairs.
"God, I hope not. I'd never hear the end of it." Sam sounded like normal now. Like he wasn't having a mental break down.
"That's true. They would sulk for weeks." He's outside now, climbing into his truck.
"Months, actually." Sam corrected. "Remember the last time Dean thought they were going on a date but Cas thought they were just hanging out?"

Occasional sniffle, but other than that, normal Sam voice. He's okay right now. Gabe pulled him away from the edge.
Gabe paused as he backed out of his driveway, "Oh, no, I never heard about this! Tell me this sweet, sweet gossip, Sammich."
Sam laughed, loud and clear, and said, "It's kinda old news. Remember when that Dinosaur movie came out?"
"Good for it." Gabe mumbled his go-to joke whenever the words 'came out' were said, already driving in the direction of Sam's house, he asked, "Attack of the Mutant Dinosaur Aliens?"
"Yeah, that one." Sam sounded genuinely happy now. Gabe smiled at the joy in his voice. He caused that. Hell yeah. Gabe shook his head, schooling his thoughts. Sam's got a girlfriend. "Well, Dean got all snazzed up for it. Bought tickets for it opening night. Had dinner reservations for before. And they got ice cream after."
Gabe whistled. "This was months ago. How long has your brother been pining?"
Like he could talk.
He turned at the entrance to Sam's neighborhood.
"Right? Anyway, he was excited for it. Then, I guess, during the whole thing, Cas was totally normal. Just a little dressed up, but nothing fancy. He was acting like normal. I guess they didn't even hold hands or anything. And when they were having ice cream Cas said Dean was a good friend for paying for everything."
That made Gabe wince. "Ouch."
"Yeah. So Dean came home all mad and butt hurt because he thought that was Cas letting him down easy." Sam said, a little bit of annoyance creeping into his voice.
Gabe shook his head, turning onto Sam's street. "That's hilarious, because I remember Cas wouldn't shut up about how great Dean looked and how it felt like a date and how he wished it was one."
He pulled into Sam's driveway. All the lights in the house were off and there were no cars around. Gabe felt his heart sink at how lonely it looked. No wonder Sam was freaking out. Silence does that to someone, when they're alone with their thoughts.
He turned off his car and jogged up to the door.
"Wow." Sam sighed, "These two are a mess."
"Totally. Hey, you're not naked, are you?" Gabe asked as he stood on the front porch.
"Uh, no. Why?" Sam asked.
Gabe rang the door bell. He could hear it through the phone on Sam's end.
"Oh, hold on. Someone's at the door." Sam said.
"Take your time." Gabe replied easily, his free hand sliding into his pocket. Also, bravo to him for doing all of that one handed! He could get an award. Best With A Hand Award. Wait, no. That sounds sexual. Most Handy! No, that's not right. Could Survive As An Amputee! Is that one offensive?
He didn't get to contemplate much longer because the door opened.
"Gabe?!" Sam asked. His phone was still by his ear, so Gabe heard it both normally and close up.

"Their name was Kali, Sometimes Kal." Gabe said, straight to the point.

"What?" Sam was still confused. Could Gabe teleport? No, wait, truck in the driveway. Gotcha.

"How I found out I was Pan." When there was just a silence, as Sam stared at Gabe, Gabe carried on easily, winking, "I firmly believe sexuality conversations should be in person."

Now that he got a good look at Sam, he realized:
Sam looked like shit.

Well, he probably looked better than he did a few minutes ago, but the signs still showed. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red. His skin didn't look so blotchy, so he must've had time to calm down.
"I-" Sam bit his lip. He looked around outside, maybe just for something to do. He took a deep breath. "Okay. Yeah. Okay."
He stepped back so Gabe could come inside. Gabe smiled at Sam, who was actually standing pretty close to him; their noses were almost touching. "I'm going to hang up now."
"Yeah, yeah. Right." Sam mumbled, lowering his phone quickly.
He stepped away as he looked around the house, rubbing his hands on his jeans.
Gabe watched quietly, when Sam glanced at him, he gestured towards the couch. Sam shook his head.
"If Dean comes home early..." Sam trailed off. "My room."
Gabe nodded and they shuffled in. Sam sat on his bed, his knees close to his chest and his arms on them.
It was such a defensive position. Gabe didn't like it. Was this how he was sitting when he called Gabe? Either way, Gabe sat down on the floor, close enough to reach out and touch him, but far enough away that Sam wouldn't get upset.
Not that he would. Normally. But he's sensitive right now. Best to take precautions.
"To answer you're question." Gabe started. "It was when I met a genderfluid person. They were awesome, they introduced themselves to me as 'Kali, Sometimes Kal'. So that's what I always called them."
Sam looked up at him and nodded slowly.
"They were hot. Male, female, both, neither. It didn't matter. I liked everything about them." Gabe said, sitting back on his hands to keep from playing with them. "They fell under my wondrous and irresistible charm, and we started dating."
"So you just... knew?" Sam's voice was small again.
Gabe smiled bittersweetly. "I wish. No, it wasn't like I saw them and the clouds wrote 'Pansexual' in the sky. It...took some time. A first I just thought I was bi. Or really open minded. But then there was this glorious thing called The Internet."
Sam let out a huff that morphed into a smile. But he didn't reply.
"I searched around. I started with learning about all the different types of gender. Kali, Sometimes Kal helped with that. Then I looked at all the sexualities. Or, the major ones, at least. I didn't really fit into straight or gay, bi was closer, but still not right. Poly sounded even closer, but it's more of a 'I like what I want' and I felt more 'I like everything'. If that makes sense?"
Sam stared at him for a long moment, but he eventually nodded. Gabe didn't believe him for a second.
"Like, Poly would be 'I like all candy, except for Skittles' and I'm 'I like all candy, regardless.' So Pan is like Poly plus extra." Gabe said, grasping for a better way to explain. "So I eventually went through the entire gender and sexual spectrum and ended with Pansexual. And that was the term that fit what I felt. I look around and I see the beauty in everyone. And once I had that title, I felt a hella lot better. I had a flag, a description, others who were like me. It took time, but I finally got where I needed to be."
Sam nodded thoughtfully, staring at the wall across from him.
Gabe sat back in silence and watched him think.
After a long, long moment, Sam said quietly, "I don't think I'm normal."
"Awesome. Welcome to the club." Gabe chirped. His heart dared to hope that that meant he had a chance with Sam. He told his heart to kindly shut up.
Sam looked at Gabe for the first time in a while and said, "No. I mean, I'm not even like you."
Gabe's eyebrows knitted together, "Gonna have to be a little more specific."
Sam bit his lip. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Gabe could tell he was trying to hold back emotions. His whole body was shaking with the effort.
"Hey," Gabe said quietly, "It's okay. Talk me through it. What's your thoughts."
"I'm not normal." Sam said again, his throat was tight and the words were strained because of it.
"Alright, why do you think so?" Gabe added, as an afterthought, "Normal's boring, by the way."
"Because... I don't feel anything." He was breathing hard and he wouldn't look up from his hands, "When, when I'm with Jess."
Gabe thought about that. Okay. So this could still mean just about anything from Aro to Gay to Jess just not being the one. Sexualities are fun. Still, if this was what he thought it was, he should get a bit more information. He asked gently, "What do you mean?"
"There's, there's no butterflies. Or sweaty palms. Or blushing. Unless I'm embarrassed. Or, or giddiness." He was getting worked up again. Each thing he said only made him more and more upset.
Gabe slid onto the bed, sitting across from Sam.
"I didn't even want to date her. I mean, I did. But only because she wanted to date me. And because she's my best friend. And she talks about forever, but I don't think of my future like that. I think about being alone with a dog."
"And you're okay with that? The living alone part?" Gabe asked.
"Sometimes, in- in my head, I have a roommate kinda thing. Dean or Cas or Kevin or you. We're not together, but we live together. Hang out together. Kinda Sherlock and John-y. Stuff like that."
"Firstly, Sherlock and John are in love." Gabe said, crossing his arms. Sam laughed, shaking his head.
"John got married!"
"And she tried to kill Sherlock."
"It happens."
"It really doesn't, though."
"They're going to stay together, she's pregnant."
"It guess we'll find out in series four."
"In ten years."
He's smiling again; all traces of pain in his eyes were wiped away. Good. Damn, Gabe is good at this! Distraction mode to the max! Give him an award for this, too!
But they do have to continue the actual conversation.
"Secondly, there's nothing wrong with that. Marriage isn't for everyone." Gabe said.
"It's not even the marriage thing. A wedding would be cool. I guess. It's supposed to be." Sam was back to looking small again. Shit. Let's go back to talking about gay subtext in BBC.
"Do you think, that just because you're supposed to be or act a certain way, that you should?" Gabe asked, his voice careful. He doesn't want to offend, or make Sam mad. But he had felt that way, before. He thinks most LGBT+ members had. It's the common glue that binds them all together. They've all felt that pain or guilt or loneliness or confusion. He adds quietly, "Because I did. I was 'straight'" - cue air quotes with his fingers - "for the longest time. And so was Cas. After I came out, he followed me thankfully. He didn't know there was another option before me. Everyone else is straight."
"Balthazar is straight?" Sam asked, his face bewildered.
"Yeah." Gabe smiled. "He's just weird. Any gay you smell on him is because he hangs out with Cas and me too much. It kinda lingers."
Sam smiled softly, his cheeks were red, and tears slowly rolled down them. But his lips were curved upwards, and that was enough.
"Have you considered that maybe it's just because of Jess?" Gabe asked after a moment.
"Yeah. Because I thought I liked you at first." Sam said, sniffling. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.
Gabe's heart jumped to his throat, his stomach turned with excitement and thrill. "Y-you do?"
"I thought I did. Before Jess. So I thought I was bi. I mean, basically, I thought you were hot." Sam said. He was blushing slightly, but his eyes were still sad. "But, the thing is, I don't know how to describe it, don't be freaked out, but I just wanted to kiss you."
Gabe stared at the boy across from him. Sam had shifted, so now his legs were Indian style, his hands sat in his lap, defeated. "And I don't think I'm gay, because I do feel things for Jess. But it's the same things I felt for you."
"Which is?" Gabe probed slowly.
Sam took a deep, shuddering breath he looked like the next thing he would say would give him actual stab-me-in-the-chest-it-would-hurt-less pain. "It's, it's like it's all physical."
"Physical." Gabe repeated quietly.
"Like, when I imagine you- or Jess- with me, it's nothing more than making out or... or sex."
Gabe was going to politely ignore that Sam had thought about having sex with him. For now.
Sam continued, starting to cry again, "There's, there's no walks on the beach or holding hands at the movies or, or, complements and meaningful looks. There's nothing that's supposed to be there. Because I just don't care about, about..."
He couldn't talk anymore. Sam was crying into his hands, shoulders shaking and face red.
Gabe crawled across the bed to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around the distraught boy, he whispered, "Shhh, shhh. It's okay. It's okay. Don't worry about it."
"I- I- I-"
"Shhh... don't try to talk. Just breathe, just calm down." Gabe said, rubbing Sam's back soothingly.
Sam nodded and turned his head so it was pressed against Gabe's chest. Gabe kissed Sam's head and ran his fingers through his hair.
They sat there until Sam could talk again.
He swallowed a few times, and then he mumbled, "There's also no cuddling."
Gabe laughed, but he didn't know what to say. He thought for a moment, "So, let me see if I got this right."
He climbed off the bed slowly, after carefully peeling Sam off of him, and walked around the room briskly.
"Kay." Sam said, shifting away from Gabe, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
Gabe stopped in the middle of the room and stared at Sam.
"Hold on." He said firmly. He turned and walked out the room determinedly.
Sam sat on the bed, watching the door, paranoid that Gabe would leave him. His room was dark, the light was off. The only light he got was from the streetlamp outside. His whole house was dark. Everything was dark. He'd be alone, in the dark, in the silence, with his thoughts and nothing to distract him from how different he is.
But Gabe came back with a damp cloth and a glass of water in his hands. He only hesitated when he was right in front of Sam.
Sam gave the smallest of shrugs possible, and Gabe gently wiped his face with the cloth. Sam allowed himself to he babied. When Gabe was done, he set the cloth, folded, on Sam's nightstand. Sam looked a little better. He felt a little better, physically and mentally. It calmed his mind slightly.

Gabe handed Sam the glass of water, but the boy only took a sip from it. He held it in his hands, thumbs rubbing the condensation absentmindedly.
Gabe swayed on his feet as he said, "You like - probably - both men and women."
Sam nodded.
"But that's not the problem."
Sam nodded again.
"The problem is that you don't, and forgive me for the childish expression, like like them."
Sam's nod this time was jerky, and he wouldn't look at Gabe.
"Which, by the way, isn't actually a problem."
Sam looked up at him then, his expression sending a shiver in Gabe's chest.
Gabe sat down on the edge of the bed, and said quietly, "You know that there's a difference between physical attraction and romantic attraction, right?"
Sam opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He tried again, with the same result. Eventually he ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head.
Gabe went to reach forward to brush some stray hair out of Sam's face, but he stopped before he could. He licked his lips and continued.
"I'm Pansexual. But I'm Demiromantic." Sam watched him carefully as he spoke. "I will do the dirty with just about anyone. But I'll only fall in love" -Sam flinched at those three words- "with someone I've known for long time, someone I feel really close to." Gabe found himself staring into Sam's eyes too intently to be platonic. He looked away, "There's no such thing as love at first sight for me."
Sam bit his lip, "Do..." He looked away and then hesitantly looked back, "Do you think it's possible for me to like people... sexually, but not romantically?"
"Definitely. It's called Aromantic."
"I..." Sam trailed off, staring in front of him, thinking things through. "Is it normal?"
"What the fuck is normal?" Gabe asked instantly.
Sam flinched, because he didn't really know. He thought he was normal before he realized that when he looks at the girl he loves, he doesn't feel anything.

When he looks at anyone, he doesn't feel anything other than physical want. Valentine's Day sucks for him. It always has.

"Here's what I think." Gabe said, since Sam didn't seem to be in a talking kind of mood at the moment, "Normality doesn't exist. But sexuality does. You can strive to try to find normality in everything you do, but you'll never find it. Become comfortable with yourself, and eventually, you'll realize that what others think about you doesn't matter. At all. I became comfortable with myself once I found out I was Pan and Demi. Maybe finding out what you are will help you see how amazingly fantastic you are."

Sam nodded, licking his lips. "O…kay. What, uh, what was that term?"

"Aromantic." Gabe said with a smile.

"But what if I'm not that?" Sam asked, fear in his voice. "What if I say I'm that for a long time, and I realize I'm not? What if this really is just because of Jess or, or-"

"Hey, hey, hey." Gabe said, trying to snap Sam out of it. His voice was still soft, always kind for Sam, as he smiled, "That's okay too. It takes some time, some self-exploration. Sometimes what you think you are in the beginning isn't what you actually are by the end. I thought I was straight, and then bi, remember?"

"I guess. What will people think, though, if I just tell them one day I'm not what I said I was?" Sam asked.

Gabe put a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Sam. Would Dean care if you told him that you were different?"

"No."

"Would he treat you any different?"

"No."

"Would I?"

He was slightly hesitant with that one, like it was a trick question. "No?"

"No." Gabe smiled. "Would Cas?"

"No."

"Would Kevin care?"

"No."

"That's your answer then. No one cares if you change your mind twenty times, until you find out a term that fits you and makes you feel comfortable. We just want you to be happy." Gabe patted Sam's shoulder and then let go, resting his hands in his lap.

Sam nodded, feeling a lot better now than he did earlier. "So, I'm, what? Bisexual, aromantic?"

"If that's what you think fits you." Gabe nodded.

"Okay." Sam said, nodding to himself. He wiped his face, even though there were no more tears on it, "Okay."

"Feel better?" Gabe asked, leaning forward slightly.

"Yes. Thank you for coming over, you seriously didn't have to." Sam smiled.

Gabe pulled the younger boy into a hug and mumbled, "That's what friends are for."

Sam told Dean the next morning, since his brother was in an exceptionally great mood, after his successful date with Cas.

"Aromantic?" Dean asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. "What's that mean?"

"I, uh, I don't feel romantic attraction." Sam said, his voice only a little shaky.

Dean nodded, taking a drink of his juice. He had a slight frown on his face, but he didn't look mad per say. He swallowed, set the glass down, and leaned against the counter. "Okay. What's that mean?"

Sam looked away, "What I said. I just, uh, I don't feel it. I've never had a crush. I've never been in love. And I don't really… want to be."

He was still frowning. "What about Jess?"

"She asked me out. I said yes." Sam shrugged.

"That's it?" Dean asked. "No feelings involved?"

"Not on my end." Sam bit his lip.

Dean stared at him for a long, terrifying moment. Then he picked up his juice, shrugged and said, "Cool. Hand me the newspaper."

"That- that's it?" Sam asked, surprised. He hesitated on giving Dean the newspaper, part of him thought Dean would hit him with it.

Dean raised his eyebrows and nodded, "Yeah. Now come on, I wanna see the comics."

Sam smiled with relief as he handed his brother the newspaper.

He told Kevin during APUSH.

"I've read about that." Kevin said, jotting down a vocab word that the teacher showed on the board. "That's cool. I guess we'll never fight over a girl."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Would we've ever done that?"

"Probably not. Have you told Jess?" Kevin asked.

"Not yet." Sam replied.

"Will you tell her?" Kevin raised an eyebrow, glancing from the teacher to Sam.

"Not yet." Sam muttered, ducking his head.

He told John, but John didn't really care.

"Just don't die because of it." John said, heading to the bathroom to take a shower and then go to bed.

Sam turned to Dean for an explanation, but all he got from his brother was a shrug.

The boys counted their blessings that John simply didn't care about their sexuality. Dean was petrified to come out to John as bisexual. But when he did, John's only response was a grunt and a similar, "Just don't die from it."

John's only real concern was the boy's safety, it appears.

Gabe was sitting on his bed, flipping through a very different magazine the next time Sam called. He looked at the caller ID this time, and set the magazine down instantly.

"Yello!"

"Hey, Gabe…" His voice was hesitant, but not on-the-verge-of-tears.

"You alright?" Gabe asked, leaning his back against the wall.

Sam hesitated, his voice was high when he replied, "Yeeaah…"

Gabe snorted. "That was convincing."

"It's not like there's anything wrong. I just don't know how to come out to my girlfriend." Sam said.

Ah. That makes sense.

Sam does care for her, even if it's not romantically. And if she reacted poorly, it would destroy their relationship, not only as boyfriend and girlfriend, but possibly as friends. Sam doesn't have a lot of those. He needs all the help he can get.

Thank god he can't read minds.

"Any advice?" Sam asked quietly.

"You could write her a complete, complex story with character development and representation as an explanation for why you've been so distant in the past few days." Gabe rattled off.

"Wait. What?" Sam asked.

"Or a letter. Or a text." Gabe listed. "Actually, no, it's probably better to do it in person. Like I said, sexuality conversations are best had in person."

"But what if she doesn't want to date me anymore?" Sam asked.

Gabe was quiet for a long time. He sighed, long and low, "I don't actually know. I don't know Jess that well, and even if I did, I don't know how many people would react to this."

That wasn't what Sam wanted to hear.

"But I do know that if she genuinely liked you, like really fucking liked you, then she wouldn't break up with you for it. Or at least wouldn't stop being your friend for it." Gabe said. And it's true. When people care about someone that much, they don't let anything get in the way of their relationship, whether that relationship be platonic or romantic.

"What if she asks why I said yes to her?" Sam asked. "Why I've been dating her for seven months."

"It's been seven months?" Gabe asked, eyes wide. Time flies, damn. He thought it was more like, two months. Maybe three.

"Yeah. More than half a year. What do I tell her? I was faking it?" Sam's voice was annoyed and grumbly.

"Not necessarily, tell her it was a squish." Gabe said, fiddling with the pages of his magazine.

"A… A squish?" Sam asked, confusion clear in his voice.

"It's a term aros use. It's the platonic form of a crush. Where you just wanna be, like, super best friends with someone." Gabe explained.

Sam shook his head, "How the hell do you know all this stuff?"

"I do my research." Gabe shrugged.

"Squish… That makes a lot of sense now, actually." Sam murmured.

"What does? The name? Because I still haven't been able to figure that out. Can you explain it to me?"

"Thank you, Gabe. Seriously. It means a lot to me that you've helped me through this." Sam said sincerely, smiling into space. He kinda wished he could talk to Gabe in person, but over the phone works too.

"Anytime, Sammich." Gabe's voice just had a tint of sadness to it, but Sam didn't detect it.

The younger boy shifted on his bed. "I think I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Don't procrastinate it." Gabe warned. "This isn't the kind of thing you can just put off."

Sam took a deep breath. "Okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get some sleep." Gabe smiled as he hung up the phone. He looked down at the magazine, still sitting next to him. He didn't really feel like looking through it anymore.

Jess was confused, understandably. Sam had stolen her away from their lunch table, taken her to an empty hallway, and explained everything.

"So… what, you don't want to date me anymore?" Jess asked, confusion and hurt clear on her face. "Because if this is your way of letting me down easy-"

"No, no, not at all! I'd actually like to keep dating you, or being your best friend, or just friends in general, I guess. What I'm trying to say is, no matter what, I won't feel the same way you do." Sam said. "I just can't. I've tried and I can't."

Jess bit her lip, "Okay. I guess…"

"You guess?" Sam didn't know what to expect. It could really only go two ways. This could be a really bad day or a kinda good day.

"I guess I'm okay with it." Jess said. "We can keep doing what we're doing."

"Really?" Sam asked, because that was not the reaction he was expecting at all.

Jess shrugged, "Sure. I mean, it's not like we're in college or anything. We've still got a few years to not be adults. Decisions we make now won't affect us that much in the long run. And, most importantly, I like spending time with you. Even if you've been faking it for seven months."

"I haven't been faking it, I do care about you, I just-" Sam scrambled to try to explain.

He didn't need to, Jess cut him off, "Sammy, it's okay. You'll probably have to explain it to me again. Maybe twice. But really, I don't mind. For now." She hesitated, her eyebrows knitting together slightly, "Can… can I still kiss you?"

"Yeah, I'm aro, not ace." Sam smiled, leaning in to kiss his girlfriend.

Sam can't lie, some moments are awkward. Jess didn't act any differently towards him, so that meant she still told him she loved him and that they flirted occasionally. Sam would just smile through it and try to enjoy the moments.

Skip to about seven years later, Jess had gone to college in another state and they call on the weekends. They're not dating anymore, because Jess, understandably, wanted something more. Sam didn't mind so much, he was swamped with college work and part-time jobs. He hardly ever had time to socialize.

One day, a few weeks before graduation, he got a call. Answering without looking at the ID, he said, "You got Sam."

"Careful with that, Sammich, it sounded like I had spam for a second there." A familiar voice called.

"Gabe!" Sam smiled, leaning back from his desk. He was studying for finals and it was destroying him mentally. He needed a break and Gabe is exactly what the doctor ordered. "How's life? I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Good, good. I'm learning how to do close-up magic." Gabe said, causally.
"Really?"
"No. But it kinda sounds cool. I might Google it or something." Sam snorted, he didn't get to respond, because Gabe just plowed through, "So I was wondering. I'm in the area, and I know you graduate soon. Remember when you told me you'd want a roommate kinda deal?"

Sam frowned, concentrating. "Oh, yeah. That was during the whole, coming out deal, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Still wanna do that?" Gabe asked. "Because I got an apartment in mind. It's in the city, local, all the best shops around it. I think I saw a sushi bar. You like sushi right? And we can split the rent. I don't snore or anything."

Sam got the slightly amusing feeling that Gabe was holding his breath. "I'd actually really like that. Especially after the school kicks me out of my dorm. I'll need a place to stay and I doubt Dean will let me bunk with him and Cas."

"Perfect!" Gabe grinned, "I'll get everything situated for when you're ready to move in!"

Sam laughed, "Awesome. Now tell me more about this close-up magic deal."

"I'm going to call myself, wait for it… The Trickster!" Gabe exclaimed dramatically.

Sam shook his head, "That's so lame!"

"What?! No! You're lame!"

Two years after that, Sam and Gabe still live together.

There's nothing romantic on Sam's end and nothing platonic on Gabe's, although Sam doesn't know that part. They have separate bedroom, but sometimes spend the night in one another's bed, if there was drinking involved. Gabe cooks, because Sam just can't, and Sam cleans, because Gabe just refuses.

For Sam's birthday, Gabe got them a dog.

It was exactly what Sam wanted, therefore, it was exactly what Gabe wanted too.

'I love you's or not.

---

Tell me what you think!

And Happy New Year!