Disclaimer: Unfoooortunately, I do not own a Nightmare on Elm Street, NCIS, Simple Plan, Dakota Fanning, Cirque Du Freak, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Mythbusters or Artemis Fowl, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, and by the way, I co-wrote this with XxTotallyObsessedxX so don't try to slam me with copying her or something, cuz I didn't, so HA! Hokay. Let the insanely random fic begin!
Hokay. So one day Freddy Krueger was walking down the aisles of Shaws when Mrs. Obsessed walked up to him and said, "May I help you?" So Freddy says, "Well, that depends. Do you have a child?" Mrs. Obsessed frowned. "Yes, do you know TotallyObsessed?" Freddy cackled, "I do now! Hahaha!" Freddy grabs Mrs. Obsessed's car keys and runs into the parking lot where he easily spots her car because everybody else conveniently rode bikes to shaws that day. When Freddy reached the Obsessed's house, he quickly got inside the house and entered Totally's room where she was taking a nap. Freddy slowly walked into the room and scratched his nails across Totally's NCIS poster, which immediately set off her NCIS damage receptors and woke her up. "Ha! I will defeat you! I know your weakness!" Totally cried, letting loose her battle cry. She ran up to Freddy and began tickling him under the armpit, where she hit his self destruct button, and made Freddy blow up. Bluerain56 then walked in and looked around. "Wow. You killed Freddy Krueger. Nice. To reward you, I will give you Seb Lafabvre!" Bluerain said. Totally stared at Bluerain in disbelief. "You mean to say that you owned Seb this whole time and you never told me, your bestest friend???" Bluerain laughed uneasily and started backing away slowly. "Hehe, yeah, meant to tell you about that…" Totally, now in a sudden murderous rage, attacks Seb with her favorite machete. Yes. She has more than one.
All of a sudden, Bluerain wakes up, from where she had been sleeping on Totally's couch. She walks into the living room where she sees Totally making out with Seb after attacking him with a machete, which turned out to be made of muffins. (This is to prove that this really is me, XxTotallyObsessedxX, writing this, along with Bluerain56. The same old muffin luvin gang.) All of a sudden, Bluerain realizes that this is a TotallyObsessed IMITATOR! It is in fact DAKOTA FANNING making out with Seb. The real Totally runs up behind the snogging couple and stabs Dakota, who she is under the impression is actually Bluerain, in the ear with a magical, never dulling ultra-sharp orange pencil. Totally, quickly realizing that it was really Dakota Fanning, tries to stab her in the heart with her pencil, but Chuck Comeau leaped in the way and died, leaving Bluerain in tears. Totally, devastated (OOOhh! We're using big words now!!) that she had killed a member of Simple Plan, commits suicide with the very same pencil. Bluerain then takes Seb and Dakota Fanning outside and shoots Dakota Fanning, because that's what she knows Totally would want. She then proceeds to take Seb back to Canada via scooter.
Meanwhile, back in Montreal, Jeff Stinco wakes up very unhappy, because he has grown out his hair. He walks into the bathroom to shave it off again, but cuts his scalp in the process, so he gets Pierre Bouvier to kiss his head and make it allllll better. David Desrosiers then walks in, completely bald. David says in a terrible monotone: "You must come with me. The mission is to save the world. There will be ten people on this mission: Sebastian Lefabvre, Pierre Bouvier, TotallyObsessed, Bluerain56, Larten Crepsley, Luke Skywalker, Ginny Weasly, Adam Savage, (for those of you who don't know who this is, he's the guy from Mythbusters with hair and no huge moustache.) Holly Short, and a Knight who says 'Ni!'" Pierre stares. "Wtf mate?" he asks, totally confused. David simplescreeches in response and comes back into the room a few minutes later with the eight other mentioned people, plus the dead body of Totally, who needs to be reincarnated by Pierre who has acquired magical healing powers from kissing Jeff's head. Jeff says, "Wtf are they saving the world from David??" The Night who says 'Ni' screams, "WHERE ARE MY SHRUBBERIES?!?!?!?!" David, ignoring the screaming Knight, states, "Michael Jackson is attempting to take over the world with his team of Plastic Surgeons!" Pierre stares again. "So why do we need two band members, two middle school girls, a vampire, a Jedi, a witch, a Mythbuster, a Faerie, and a Knight who says 'Ni' to save the world from Michael Jackson?!?!?!" David stares at Pierre. "How the hell should I know??? I'm just here to state the prophecy and grace the world with my newly bald presence!" Totally's body is pushed to Pierre by Bluerain, who says, "Will you sign Totally for me??? Oh, and while your at it, could you heal her for me too?" Pierre heals Totally, and scribbles his signature on her forehead.
The Knight who says Ni, who is still running around, looking for his shrubbery, runs into a wall and goes into a coma(Totally didn't know what the hell to do with the Knight, so comatose seemed like a pretty good option). Totally wakes up and faintly says, "What the hell is going on?" David repeats his prophecy, and Totally gets up shakily. She soon starts to jump around maniacally, seeing all her favorite, if slightly confused, people all jam-packed into one room with her. "It's a common state of the recently healed." Pierre explains. Totally runs over to Adam. "Oh my god! You're Adam the mythbuster, I'd hug you, but you'd probably blow me up!!" Totally them steals Ginny's wand and begins to absent-mindedly chew on it. Totally waves to Luke. "Can you use the force to fly?" Luke stares. Totally jumps up and down, high off Pierre's healing, and hugs Holly, screaming, "HOLY CRAP!" Totally yells, "Hiya, Bluerain!", then hugs Pierre, and jumps into Seb's arms, clinging to his neck.
Bluerain bitch slaps Pierre. "What the hell did you do to my friend??" Pierre winces and answers, "Don't worry, the affects should wear off soon. Geeze, you slap hard!" Bluerain grins, "Hehe, yep." Totally, now coming down off of her healing high, collapses onto the floor with a sudden head rush. Peirre smiled smugly at Bluerain. "Ha! Told you!" Holly clears her throat to get everybody's attention and begins yelling over the no longer quite comatose Knight who says 'Ni's moaning. "Hokay, lets get started and go look for Michael Jackson- he could be anywhere!" The group starts heading out the door when Mr. Crepsley speaks up for the first time. "Umm, if you don't mind, I'll need some sun-screen if we're going out…there." He says, gesturing towards the sunny backyard. Ginny sighs before pulling her wand out of Totally's mouth, where jelly beans had appeared from her absent minded chewing, and conjures up some SPF 75 and hands it to Mr. Crepsley. Mr. Crepsley grumbles a thank you and starts rubbing it on his skin as the odd mob continues outside. No sooner had the 10 people all stepped out of the house than giant pez came flying through the air, causing the Knight who says Ni to squeal and Luke to pull out his light saber. The group turns simultaneously to see the crazy, pez collecting neighbor/6th grade teacher Mr. Leadke running out of his house screaming, "MY PEZ!!!!" Bluerain and Totally stared at him in shock. "Was that our old social studies teacher?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"