I was ten when it happened. My brother Hannibal was thirteen. During this time, I knew what rape was. It was how my dad Jacob got what he wanted from my mom. I just never thought Hannibal would do the same to me.
It was during spring time and around the middle of the night. I was fast asleep and having a wonderful dream. It was of my mom and me taking a drive and eating some ice cream. I had chocolate while mom had vanilla. Jacob says drives are stupid and a waste of time and gas. But in my dreams, there was no Jacob or Hannibal. Just mom and me driving to nowhere while my head is out the car window like a dog and John Lennon is playing on the radio.
My dream unfortunately came to an end when I felt someone shaking me. I woke up and saw that it was Hannibal. I wanted to ask what was he doing up so late but he put his hand over my mouth before I could say anything.
"Stay quiet." he told me. "Come with me outside and keep your mouth shut."
I now knew why he was up. He was finally going to get back at me for embarrassing him in front of his friends. Instead of just beating me like he would normally do, Hannibal said that he'd get back at me when I least expected it. Him up in the middle of the night was very unexpected. I didn't want to get up. For one thing, I didn't want to get punished for something I didn't mean to do. And also, I was still very tired. But I knew that if I didn't get up, Hannibal would beat me and then get me in trouble with Jacob. So I reluctantly got out of bed and followed Hannibal outside.
We quietly walked through the hall and walked especially quiet when we walked by mom and Jacob's room. It was a little difficult for us to walk downstairs since they creaked when they were stepped on so we walked down the stairs as slowly and quietly as we could. I was still very tired so it wasn't until we were walking downstairs that I noticed a small box tucked under Hannibal's arm. I was about to ask him what was in the box but I thought against it. Something told me I was going to find out pretty soon. Hannibal and I finally made it downstairs and we started to walk outside. As we walked pass the family room, I took a quick glance at the clock that was up on the wall. It read 2:54 a.m.
It was pretty cold outside for spring. I didn't have much on but some pajama pants and a white t-shirt. Hannibal didn't look a bit cold and all he had on were his boxers. Hannibal opened his box and started fishing for something in it. He then got out a roll of duct tape. He ripped off a piece of tape and then placed it on my mouth.
"That's so you won't scream and wake up everybody." Hannibal said.
I started to get scared. I started to sweat. This wasn't something he would normally do to me.
"Take off you pants." Hannibal ordered me to me.
I did what I was told. I was scared and when you're scared, you really don't think much. That's why in scary movies, the killer is usually the one that's survives instead of the scared victim.
"Now take off your boxers." Hannibal then said.
I didn't do what he told me to do that time. I now had an idea of what Hannibal wanted to do and I didn't want it happen. This got Hannibal upset.
"Didn't you hear me? I said take off your boxers." I still didn't listen so Hannibal added more venom into his voice. "Now God dammit!"
His voice scared me into dropping down my boxers. So now all I had on was my white t-shirt. The whole bottom of me shivered. Both with cold and with fear.
"That's a good boy." Hannibal snarled. "Now turn around and bend over."
I just turned around and listened. I didn't want to get in trouble and get a beating.
I turned to see what was Hannibal doing. I saw him go through his box once again but this time, he got out some rope. He used the rope to tie my hands together. He then did the same with my feet. Hannibal then took off his boxers. I turned around and closed my eyes and scaredly waited for what came next.
I felt a sharp pain from behind me. The pain came in and out from inside me. I wanted to scream in pain but couldn't due to the tape. Since I couldn't scream, I just cried. Tears came out of my eyes as new pain would come when Hannibal thrusted in. Everything then stopped and I fell to the ground. The pain from behind went away but tears still came out. Hannibal gave my behind a hard slap and laughed.
"This will be our secret." Hannibal whispered to me. "Tell anyone, I'll come back for more. Good night."
Hannibal then walked home and left me. I laid on the ground all tied up and crying. I knew that that wasn't the last time Hannibal would do that to me. The thing that makes me upset about all that was that I could've stopped it. I could've stayed in bed. I could've ripped the tape off and screamed for help. I could've ran inside the house and lock Hannibal out. But I didn't. I didn't because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I did anything to defend myself, Hannibal would beat me and then get me in trouble with Jacob who would beat me even harder. But now that I look back, I would've taken a thousand beatings then go through what I went through that night.