Welcome to Caperature Laboratories.
My suit probably looks like crap. If I ever where a suit, again which I don't. I am never wearing this suit, ever! I hate job interviews, I always have. It's always you screw up your living at your parents for 4 years and taking overdue community college. Because I so did not go through that as you can tell. But, what am I saying I'm really experienced with all this. I will get this job, I will get this job, and I'll say it again: will get this job! Oh here comes my future boss, all in a lab coat and glasses like he's the smartest person alive.
He walks over and sits down in front of me ready to ask his questions of terror. "Hello, so we've read your résumé and you seem like a hard worker." Yes he likes me unlike almost every boss I've ever had. This interview is actually pulling off. I cannot believe this at all, wow I sound like a real jack ass. The job's pay was like what? $50 per experiment, I will be able to get a house, a nice car, and be able to keep it all! "So how does that sound?" He said. I wasn't paying attention; I was too busy thinking about myself.
"Um sounds great I would love that." I say without knowing what the hell is happening. He walks out, crap! What did I just agree to? Oh no, next thing I know I'm getting a shot on my forehead. Or seeing how many bullets a human can survive. The less I know about it the better, I think. Oh my god when is he coming back!? What time is it? Is it getting hot in here? Ok slow down, slow down. My mind won't stop racing with paranoia. Come on pull yourself together you'll be fine, hopefully.
"I see no further delays you're hired!" He says proudly. My heart dropped, my brain starts electrifying. He said the words that my life needs, especially right now. He says "Welcome to Caperature Laboratories you are expected tomorrow in the lobby at 10:00." Even the time is perfect! Great now I can go into early retirement, I wish. Oh wait I have to tell him thank you, it seems formal.
"Thank you so much! I won't disappoint." He opens the door for me and I walk out. Well this is it my turn around. The job gods have answered my prayers. I walk outside and get in my car. I drive home to a dark house, owned by my parents I might add. This is it, my big break.