Sasuke walked into a counselor's office hoping to solve or at least talk about a certain "problem." He entered, only to find Gaara sitting at the desk at the end of the room. "Uh...Gaara? A...Are you here for counseling too?"
Gaara, looking up from the desk, stared coldly at Sasuke. "... I am the counselor."
Sasuke then turned and quickly walked towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" Gaara said as he used his sand to sit Sasuke onto the couch and lock the door.
"I'm not talking to you about this."
"Why not?"
"Because it...it's...I'm just not.
"Okay, how about this: I'm going to ask you 20 questions and from those answers I should be able to figure it out for myself," suggested Gaara.
"Do I have a choice?"
"Umm...no! Question 1: Is it family related?"
"No."
"Question 2: Is it something to do with school?"
"No."
"Okay, question 3: Is it a personal problem or a problem, say, with someone else?"
"Uh...do I have to answer that?" Sasuke asked, looking a little uncomfortable.
"Okay, so that's a personal problem."
"What? How do you know?"
"Ehem...I'm asking the questions here."
"Pssh whatever. I don't have to do this." Sasuke said, folding his arms.
Gaara then stood up from his desk and walked over to Sasuke. "Do you suffer from any head injury?"
"...Uh...no," replied Sasuke, confused as to why Gaara would ask such a strange question.
Gaara lifted his hand and hit Sasuke upside the head. "You do now!"
"What was that for?" Sasuke asked with irritation.
"For being an idiot," replied Gaara, hitting Sasuke again.
"And that?"
Gaara said nothing. He only hit Sasuke with another blow to the head.
"What the hell? Stop hitting me!" Sasuke shouted, only to be hit again.
"I'm asking the questions!" Shouted Gaara.
"Ow...okay...sheesh. Just stop hitting me," Sasuke pleaded rubbing his head in pain.
Gaara then continued with his questions. "Ehem, question 5: Have you experienced any..."changes"...lately?
"Wh...What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just answer the question," Gaara answered after hitting Sasuke again.
"Uh...what kind of changes?"
Gaara let out a sigh as he again hit Sasuke across the head. "Any changes."
"Well...uh..." Sasuke stuttered and mumbled a "yeah," beneath his breath.
"What?"
"Yes!"
"What kind of changes?"
"None of your damn business!"
"Okay then, question 8:" Gaara continued. "Has someone been bothering you at the academy?"
"Well...yes but...that's not why I came here." Again mumbling "Damn Naruto," below his breath.
"So you have a problem with Naruto?" Gaara asked, overhearing Sasuke's comment.
"Yes, but that's a completely different problem."
"Are you jealous of him?"
"That...that's a completely different problem."
"Is it?" Asked Gaara, raising an eyebrow.
"You're an idiot." Sasuke retorted
Gaara then hit Sasuke yet again. "Answer the question."
"Yes it is!"
"Okay, question 12: Is it about Sakura?"
"No it's not."
"Are you sure it's not about Sakura?"
"No damn it! It's not about Sakura!"
"Have you been experiencing feelings of depression lately?"
"Where are you going with this?" Sasuke asked in confusion.
"God you're slow!" Gaara replied as he hit Sasuke again. "Now, have you been experiencing feelings of depression lately?"
"No."
"So you haven't been indulging in self mutilation?"
"What?! No! Damn it! I AM NOT EMO!"
Gaara let out another sigh. "Sasuke..."
"What?"
"You just asked another...actually 2...questions." Gaara replied, hitting Sasuke twice this time.
"Damn it! Stop hitting me!"
"Then stop asking irrelevant questions."
"They're not irrelevant!" Sasuke argued.
"That's besides the point."
"No it's not!"
Gaara again remained silent but hit Sasuke across the head.
"Ow... what was that for? I didn't ask a question."
"Ahh...but I suspected you were going to ask that question." Gaara replied with a confident tone.
"But I wouldn't have asked it if you hadn't of hit me!"
Gaara again hit Sasuke over the head. "And that's for being stupid. Question 16: Maybe you've been practicing assisted suicide?"
"You mean aside from you hitting me every 5 seconds, no."
"You're lucky, that was almost a question. Wait...this doesn't happen to have anything to do with you singing show tunes in the bathroom at 3 o'clock in the morning does it? I swear, I was ready to kill you man."
"You...you heard that?" Sasuke asked, embarrassed.
"I don't think there's anyone who didn't. And that was a question." Gaara then hit Sasuke again.
"I hate you right now."
"Pssh...like I've never heard that before. Question 18: Do you have a girlfriend?"
Sasuke let out an irritated sigh. "No."
"Do you have a crush on someone?"
"No."
Gaara then glared at Sasuke, knowing that he was lying.
"Okay, okay, fine. There is...someone."
"Alright, last question: Who is it?"
"What?! I'm not telling you that!"
Gaara then hit Sasuke again.
"Ow!"
"Well...?" Gaara asked, waiting for an answer.
"Well what? I'm not telling you." Sasuke replied stubbornly.
Gaara again hit Sasuke over the head.
"Okay, you know what! That's it!" Sasuke shouted. "I'm going to freaking kick you're ass if you don't stop hitting me!"
Gaara laughed. "That's funny." He then engulfed all but Sasuke's head in sand. "You have about 5 seconds to tell me what you actually came here for or I'm going to both crush and kill you."
"Pssh...go ahead cause I'm not telling you." Sasuke replied, still being stubborn.
Gaara then began to crush Sasuke with his sand.
"Okay...ow...Gaara...th...that kind of hurts."
"Oh, did you think I was kidding?"
"Maybe...just...a little."
"So...you going to tell me now?"
"Hell no!"
Gaara then Squeezed the sand tighter nearly crushing Sasuke.
"Okay...Okay! Ow! Damn it! Fine! I'll tell you! I'm Gay ok! There! I said it." Sasuke blurted out in pain.
Gaara then released Sasuke from his sand. "What?"
"That...That's what I originally came here for. I...I'm gay." Sasuke said shyly.
"Gay? Like as in Homosexual gay? Like as in--"
"Yes. As in being male and being attracted to other males. Yes Gaara, that's what homosexual means!"
"Oh...wow...so...who do you have a crush on then? Is...is it Naruto?"
"What?! No!"
"Neji?"
"No!"
"Lee?"
"Hell no!"
"Choji?"
"Don't make me hurt you."
"Sasuke...you're not a threat so stop making threats. Hmmm...what about...Shikamaru?"
"No!"
"Oh God, you don't have a crush on my brother?"
"Kankuro? No!"
"Okay, just checking. You...you don't have a crush on your own brother do you?
Sasuke then glared at Gaara with an annoyed look.
"Okay, sorry...just asking. So...who does that leave?
Sasuke then turned away and blushed.
"... Oh...My...God! Oh...wow...uh...look at the time..." Gaara stuttered as he stumbled over his desk. "I...I'm going to go now."
Sasuke, with a confident look in his eye removed his shirt. "This doesn't turn you on?"
"No. No it doesn't. Look, Sasuke...I...I'm flattered, really...but...I really...should be...um...going..."
"What...what if I took off my pa--"
"O...kay...uh...defiantly going now. Hope...that whole uh...homo thing works out for ya..."
"It'd work better with your co-operation."
"Heh...heh...not going to happen...I ...I'll see you later...okay...okay..."
"I hope so." Sasuke mumbled under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Right...okay...bye..." Gaara then began to leave the room.
Sasuke simply sat there starring at Gaara.
Gaara, noticing Sasuke starring, turned around "...were you just checking me out?"
Sasuke then looked away, blushing.
"Oh My God...," Where the last words Gaara spoke as he quickly exited the room.
The End
That's it for now...hope you enjoyed it and I can say that there's defiantly at least 4 or 5 more chapters coming.