A Promise to You, a high school musical fanfic

A Promise to You

Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical

Summary

I'm looking at you now. I'm standing here on your balcony watching you sleep. It's creepy and weird but I need it. I need to know you're ok. You think I don't care for you–but Brie, I do. I love you so much that I left for you. Sequel to In Another Life.

A/N So yeah – I guess this could be a somewhat sequel to In Another Life. You could read it on it's own but you might not have all the background and everything. Although I guess it's basically In Another Life with Troy's POV with an added twist.

I'm writing this because in one way I didn't want to let go. I had this idea plaguing my mind for God knows how long (I think it was from the moment I read the lyrics to the song) but never actually had the full urge to sit down and write it. Then when I did its first draft turned out terribly as I wanted it to be a songfic and that didn't work. So I then wrote it again in a couple of hours which I was pretty proud of – the words just seemed to come to me then.

But then I was upset that I didn't have it anymore. Hence this – a few people asked me to continue it and I wanted to anyway because I feel that some things weren't shown. We only got to see Gabriella's POV in 'In Another Life', so now we're going to see Troy's thoughts.

On a side note – one review I received for In Another Life asked me how it was a romance. I just want to say something – my definition of romance is not something that only is fluff and happy endings. Romance to me is if there are romantic feelings between the characters (i.e. feelings more than friendly) For me, romance is not just dating and making goo – goo eyes at each other. And yes – that is romance. But for me I don't see that as the only definition of romance. Therefore, when I say romance in the genre – I mean that even though there are romantic feelings, it may not always be the fluffy mushy love story romance.

I love you

I love you so much

I know I don't deserve you – not after what I've done. But that doesn't stop me.

Every night I come here. I stand on your balcony and look at you. My hands always rest on your unlocked doors – but not once have I summoned the courage to open them.

I want to – I really do. But I can't.

I can't drag you down with me.

You're too good Brie – you deserve so much more. You don't need my fucked up self ruining your life.

You've got everything – the grades, the looks and the money. And you don't need your pathetic best friend stopping you from achieving – holding you back

I promised I wouldn't do that to you and it's a promise I intend to keep, but Brie – it's hard. So bloody hard. Every night when I stand here – whether it's a few hours or a few minutes – I crave to be with you.

But then another craving appears – one I'm unable to fight and I turn away from you. I turn my back on you – and for that I'm sorry.

It captured me Brie – you've got to know that. I'm hooked and I can't get out. The drugs are vicious and they catch a hold of you, lock themselves onto you and refuse to let go. You try and try but they're always there taunting you and no matter what you try to do they come back.

I wanted so bad to escape it but I couldn't. And I could see what it was doing to you.

So I left. I left and I hurt you.

But even when I left you were still with me. I would close my eyes and see you behind them – your face beaming back at me radiantly. I would see you lying in my arms; your hair messed up beneath you. I would see you and yearn for you.

So I came back. It was stupid of me but you were my weakness and I craved you as well. I wanted to forgot the shit that was my life and surround myself with you, even if it was just for those few pathetic hours.

I hated myself that night. After I left I came back to you three weeks later and we slept together. And I hate myself for leaving you in the morning. I left before you awoke because I was too much of a coward to face you and my problems.

But again, I returned. Again I hurt you. I would climb into your room and see the happiness on your face but I'd look in your eyes and see the hurt because you knew that in a few hours I would leave

And then you had enough. To be honest, I'd always been waiting for you to put your foot down and refuse me. I'd been waiting for it.

But even though I knew it would happen, it didn't hurt any less. The pain still stung and wrenched at me but I knew I had no one else to blame but myself

You told me never to set foot in your house – and I could live with that.

You told me that I was a fucked up bastard and I could live with that too because I knew that that was exactly what I was

But you told me you hated me. And I couldn't live with that. Because despite the fact that I hated myself for what I had done to you, hearing the words come from your mouth hurt like hell and I couldn't deal with that.

And since then I've watched you. I've never made my presence known because I'm scared of what will happen. I watch from the sidelines as you go day by day breathing through life.

I'm conflicted. On the one hand I won't you to forget about me and never look back. I want you to turn your back on our memories and move on in life making your own.

I want you to move on and be happy.

But then there's the other part of me – the selfish part – that wants you to never forget the memory of us. The part where you want me as much as I want you.

I sit here sometimes and think back to the times where it was just you and me. Just as we should have been. But then life was catching up with me and the pressure was coming down – I couldn't cope so I took the cowards way out as always.

They told me I would forget if I took the drugs. And that's all I wanted Brie. I just wanted to forget all of the pressure so I took them. And I became hooked.

I'm sorry for that night.

I remember the pain on your face as you realised that I'd been taking drugs. I remember seeing the disappointment and it hurt because I never, not once, wanted to disappoint you Brie. You were the last person I would want to disappoint.

But as I've said before that once you're using it's hard to stop. And I couldn't. I tried but I couldn't.

And you caught on but you didn't come to me because you knew that it would be a waste. You went to my dad instead and he was so furious. He threatened to send me away and into rehab and the thought scared me.

I should never have gone to your room – I don't know why I did. I was boiling with anger and I should have known better than to go to your room. But I did.

I don't know what I planned on doing when I went to your room but as soon as I got there I let all my anger release. I released it onto you and I'm so sorry.

I said horrible things to you – things I don't wish to repeat because I know how much they broke you.

I never really apologised for that night. I came back to you but I never apologised. It always amazed me how for those few hours we were together, you would forget what I said – I guess deep down you knew I never meant those words.

But Brie – I'm standing here right now. I'm looking at you now. I'm standing here on your balcony watching you sleep. It's creepy and weird but I need it.

Because I can't go on like this – I can't fuck up our lives any more. So I'm going to win you back Brie

I promise you that

I know that there's a chance you hate me for what I've done. But I also know from watching you that you're hurting.

And I want to put that right.

I will put that right

That I can promise

A/N So I'm thinking of a follow up - maybe giving them a happy ending? I'm not sure yet. If I do it would be a different story because I'd probably have it in third person narrative instead of like this. I'm not sure yet...

But tell me what you thought. Do you still hate Troy? I did try and explain his reasons but I have to say that some of his actions were hurtful to Gabriella. Anyhow - tell me what you think please and also if you'd like to see a follow up

XxxNicolexxX