It Was Always You
Pairing: Rizzles
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tess and TNT (unfortunately) and the song belongs to Maroon 5.
A/N: The first time I listened to It Was Always You, I knew this story had to be written because this song is SO Rizzles, I can't. Here it is, I hope you like it! I never watched the last seasons of the show, so I don't even know where this story goes on the timeline, be my guest to picture it where you want it. Also, I have to say English is not my first language, so you might come across a lot of mistakes and I'm sorry for all of them. Please be nice :)
I couldn't see the woman's eyes, all I could picture was her caramel locks between my legs. She was doing things to me that I was sure I was going to explode and it wouldn't take much more time. Her tongue played with my clit with such delicacy it was driving me insane… I was intrigued by her. By her hands holding me against the bed, by her beautiful hair tickling my tights, by her muscular back and shoulders… And even though I couldn't see her face, she was stunning, I could tell.
I closed my eyes and let my body feel what the mysterious woman was doing to me. I don't know if it was because it was my first time having sex with a woman, or if it was just her, but damn! I had never felt so good in my whole life. I felt like screaming, laughing, moaning, all at the same time. Maybe that's how you're supposed to feel every time… But why in hell didn't she look at me?
"Please," I said, my voice was even hoarser than normal.
She moaned between my legs and sent shivers all over my body. I was so close…
"Please! Please, look at me" I begged shamelessly.
And then, finally, the woman moved her head up and opened her eyes without ever stopping pleasuring me. I saw a pair of stunning hazel eyes and then I was done.
Woke up sweating from a dream
With a different kind of feeling
All day long my heart was beating
Searching for the meaning
Jane woke up shaking, her body was covered in sweat and she just couldn't catch her breath.
"What the fuck was that?"
Yeah, Jane Rizzoli just had a sex dream. A really good and unbelievably hot sex dream… With a woman. Ok, ok, Jane already dreamed she was kissing girls before, it was nothing. But this dream? No… It was never like this.
The detective turned on her bedside lamp and sat on the bed trying to calm down. She took a sip of water and did some stupid breathing exercises Maura taught her, but the aching between her legs just wouldn't go away. Jane closed her eyes and all she could see was flashes of caramel hair and perfect hazel eyes.
Her cell phone showed 4:07 am, Jane knew she wouldn't sleep anymore, it was simply impossible. Groaning, she got up and went for a cold shower, maybe it would help.
At 6 am the detective had already checked her e-mails, deleted random photos of her cell phone, cleaned her bedroom and kitchen and was ready to head to Beacon Hill to meet Maura for their morning run. But still, when she closed her eyes, flashes of her dream invaded her mind.
"Maura!" Jane screamed from her best friend's kitchen "Maur, c'mon! You're late!"
"I'm almost done, Jane! You're the one who's early, I am never late."
Jane arrived 10 minutes early because she couldn't wait any longer, being alone was driving her nuts. She needed a run and Maura was taking forever to get ready.
"Maur, Jesus! Hurry up, you don't need makeup and Louboutins to go for a run, c'mon!"
"Jane, I appreciate you knowing Christian Louboutin as he's one of my favorite shoe designers, but I'll never wear his shoes to run. It would ruin them!"
Jane groaned and then Maura finally appeared in the kitchen. The doctor wasn't, indeed, wearing Louboutins, her black pants hugged every inch of skin of her legs and her loose shirt left a lot to the imagination, which was a perfect contrast. As always, Maura was stunning.
"Why do you always look like you're about to do a photo shoot?"
Maura smiled, Jane always had this effect on her.
"Well, good morning Jane! Seems like you're in a terrible mood today, I'm sure you'll feel better after the endorphins hit your hypophysis okay? Don't worry."
"Oh, thank you Dr. Google!" Jane walked to her friend's door and opened it, "Now shall we go?"
"Yes Jane, we shall. But we must warm up first, otherwise, we might provoke a muscular injury."
"Jesus Christ, Maura! I'm pretty warm already!" Jane run in her place and smiled impatiently, "See? I'm warm."
"No Jane, you're not. I'm not discussing this with you, and besides, I don't have anything to do with your awful mood today, please be nice."
At this, Jane shut up and started copying Maura's movements in order to warm up. After 8 minutes the women started running at a slow pace. As Maura took the lead, Jane watched Maura's caramel locks bouncing from her perfectly arranged ponytail and was, somehow, hypnotized by it, she didn't know why.
When they reached the park, they run side by side as they speed up a little. But Jane wasn't happy, she needed more speed, more pain in her muscles, more sweat, more. So she just went for it and Maura followed, she would always do… After 15 minutes, the doctor was exhausted and even though she didn't want to, she stopped. Jane stopped seconds later.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, Jane, but I can't keep up. You go on, I'm slowing it down a little."
"I'm sorry Maur, I guess I got lost in my mind. We can go slower together, c'mon."
Maura smiled, Jane smiled back and they resumed their running. After 30 minutes they stopped by a bench and sat down without saying a word. Maura knew her friend needed time and she was more than comfortable with being silent, mostly with Jane. The years showed her that the most significant relationships were the ones in which you could spend hours talking or hours in silence and feel the same way. She and Jane were just like this.
"I'm sorry for being a bitch earlier", Jane said interrupting Maura's thoughts.
The doctor smiled knowingly.
"I had a weird dream and woke up at 4am. But it's like you said, you have nothing to do with it, so I'm sorry."
"Oh, Jane…" Maura took her friend's hand in an automatic gesture "It's nothing, really. Did you dream about Hoyt? Why didn't you call me? I would have gone to you, no matter what time it was. Do you want to talk? You know, studies have shown that when you talk about dreams, it helps you cope with whatever…"
"Maur, stop it" Jane smiled and squeezed her friend's hand "It wasn't with Hoyt, this motherfucker doesn't haunt me anymore. It was stupid, there's nothing to talk about."
"Are you sure, Jane? –Nothing- doesn't make you get up at 4 in the morning…"
"It really is nothing, Maura, don't worry about it. The endorclines already made me all happy and shiny, see?" Jane smiled her best smile, the one who showed her dimples and certainly melted Maura's heart.
"It's endorPHins, Jane."
"Okay, whatever! Let's go, cause murders won't solve themselves and dead people won't autopsy themselves."
The two women headed home talking about other things, but in the back of Jane's mind were still those hazel eyes… Why?
Jane wasn't sure if it was because of the paperwork or the stupid dream, but the day passed by without her realizing it. Only when she received a text from Maura that she saw it was actually time to go home. She typed a quick message to let Maura know she was passing by her house to pick up Jo Friday and take a bath before heading to Maura's for dinner. When she was in the car, her phone vibrated once more.
Thai or Chinese? xx, M.
Pizza, J.
Jane, it's Wednesday! Not a good day for pizza. M.
It's ALWAYS a good day 4 pizza. J.
It's not good for your health, Jane. M.
Maura, plz. Not good 4 my health is spending a whole day in paperwork. J.
Half pepperoni and half mushrooms, then. M.
That's why I love ya, J.
Yes, I know. I love you too Jane, M.
C ya in 30. x, J.
Jane and Maura shared a quiet dinner, each one lost in their own minds. Jane couldn't focus on anything but her dream, that was the reason she decided to go pick up Jo so they could spend the night at Maura's home. The detective didn't want to be alone that night. As they cleaned after dinner, Jane sat on the couch to watch TV and Maura joined her with a scientific journal. The doctor lied with her feet in Jane's lap, as she always did, and Jane lightly caressed it, as she always did. After a while, they silently decided to call it a night, Jo Friday was already sleeping on the fluffy carpet of Maura's living room.
Maura finished her night routine and got out of the bathroom to find Jane already asleep. She smiled at the image of her exhausted friend. There was something about Jane tonight that Maura just couldn't understand… Of course, she was in love with the detective, Maura made peace with that a while ago. Of course, she didn't tell Jane, she knew her best friend would freak out, and besides, Jane did best when she figured things out on her own. So Maura patiently waited and tried not to invade Jane's personal space. She could only hope the other woman realized they were perfect for each other sooner rather than later.
"Good night Jane, sweet dreams."
There she was again… Kissing her way up Jane's legs with her caramel locks and sweet devious lips. But her face? No, she was too emerged in the task of pleasuring Jane. Not that the detective was complaining, but she would give anything to see who the woman was. She needed to know for some reason.
"Please, let me look at you," Jane asked between breaths "Please!"
The woman raised her eyes and immediately hazel invaded Jane.
"Jane! Jane wake up, honey. It's okay."
When Jane opened her eyes… Hazel ones were staring back at her.
"Jane, it's me… Just Maura."
Hazel eyes, I was so color blind
We were just wasting time
For my whole life, we never crossed the line
Only friends in my mind
But now I realize, it was always you
And suddenly it all made sense, it was Maura. All along it was Maura. And Jane felt sick, how could she dream about her best friend that way? She couldn't, it was wrong on so many levels.
"Jane, sweetheart, look at me."
So Jane really looked at her friend. She was worried, her hands were holding Jane's face, her hair slightly disheveled from sleep, but still, she was beautiful. Jane realized she wanted to kiss her, but she couldn't. Could she?
"Hey…" Jane said, her voice trembled.
"Hey you," Maura smiled "Bad dream again?"
"Something like that…"
Maura lied next to Jane and took her hand. Shivers run through Jane's entire body. Why did she have to be like this? Had Jane always felt this way?
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really Maur."
"But studies have shown tha-"
"Maura-aaa…"
"Okay, okay."
They both laughed. Moments with Maura were always like this.
Can't believe I could not see it all this time
All this time
It was always you
Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied
It was always you.
No more guessing who
Looking back now I know it was always you, always you
So Jane started thinking about every other relationship she tried to have. Every date her mother (or even Maura) made her go and she didn't want to. Every smile she had to fake to please guys, every moment she was with them wishing she wasn't. Not to mention the sex… She obviously needed some release sometimes and those people helped her with the issue, but she never felt connected, comfortable, loved, safe.
And Jane thought it was because of her work, because of the things she saw and experienced every single day. She couldn't trust people that easily. But now she thought maybe it was just because –people- wasn't who she wanted.
Jane looked at Maura lied at her side. The doctor's eyes were closed and even though it was dark, Jane could see the little freckles along her friend's nose and cheeks. Jane knew very feel people in the world got to see Maura that way, so she smiled. Maybe, just maybe she was allowed to feel like this. Maybe their friendship was always destined to go somewhere else and they were actually meant to be together. Maybe Maura already knew all of this and maybe, just maybe, Maura didn't care.
"Jane, you're staring…" Maura whispered.
"Sorry, I was just thinking… I guess looking at you helps me to think."
All my hidden desires finally came alive
No, I never told a lie to you
So why would I start tonight?
"Oh…?" Maura whispered opening her eyes.
"I like looking at you when you're like this… You're really beautiful."
Jane was surprised she was so blunt, but she smiled. She was calm, even though she just realized to be head over heels in love with her best friend who happened to be a woman, just to make things more complicated. But surprisingly nothing about it felt complicated to Jane, there wasn't any alarm in her head telling her to back off, there was no running instinct screaming inside her. Jane knew she was allowed to feel whatever she felt because it was Maura, who now had a confused look on her face and clearly wasn't following.
"I'm sorry, Maur, I sound crazy I know" Jane chuckled and turned on her side to get a better look at her friend, "It's just these dreams I'm having… I can't believe how blind I was." Maura just kept Jane's gaze, waiting for her friend to elaborate. "It was always you, Maura…"
Flashes of Jane's dreams came to her mind and she could finally put a face to the woman making love to her. It was Maura kissing her way up Jane's tights, it was Maura caressing her skin, it was Maura's soft hair tickling her, it was Maura's hands of her hips, it was Maura's hot breath in her core.
"Fuck…" Jane said and then realized it was out loud. She nervously closed her eyes, as if to make those images go away. As much amazing this new discovery looked like, wasn't the time to picture Maura between her legs, she had to focus. "Sorry again, I'm…"
But then Jane saw the look in her best friend's face and she was speechless. Maura had a serious look, her pupils were so big, Jane could barely see hazel, "Jane, stop saying you're sorry".
"Okay…"
And they kept looking at each other, there was so much being said without words, so much going on that the intensity of the moment was almost unbearable. Jane knew Maura knew what was happening, so she shivered and closed her eyes, realizing she was crying.
"It's ok Jane, I promise it will all be ok."
And then Maura pulled Jane close and embraced her, soothing her best friend.
"It was always you," Jane whispered, giving out a non-humorous chuckle, "and I'm scared to admit that I think it will always be you."
.the end.