Hey Guys, this is another of my fics from another site. I never finished it there so I thought I would repost some chapters here and then just continue writing it because I like it so much. I hope you guys do too!
Introduction
I'm sitting on her front step. I've been sitting on her front step for two hours now, and I think that I'm starting to lose my cool. My palms are all sweaty and I can feel my heart rumbling inside my chest. It's like it wants to break through my rib cage, tear from my body, and run screaming down the block. That's how afraid I am. That is what she does to me.
A couple of times I imagine that I wrench open her front door, race up the flight of stairs to her room, and pull her into the best kiss that I've never had in my life. One time I even slammed her against the wall so that she could feel how much I wanted her, how much I loved her.
But then, of course, I remember who I am, and who she is and the fact that she's my best friend and she's going on a date tonight with someone who isn't me. I remember that she's not in love with me. I remember that I'm sitting on her front step like a cowardly dog.
Somewhere around love confession attempt number two, the door creaks open behind me. I freeze, not sure what to think, but then I'm pummeled by the familiar smell of strawberries and Spencer, my favorite smell.
"You're late," she whispers into my ear, kneeling down and wrapping two arms around me. She places her head on my shoulder and then puts two legs on either side of me, settling down on the step behind me. "I was worried about you," she says in the same soft voice and I'm too busy smelling her and loving her arms around me to listen. "Earth to Ashley," she says jokingly and I nudge her with the back of my head, releasing a nervous laugh.
"Sorry. My Mom made me do some last minute chores," I lie, and she plucks my ear with her finger.
"Liar. I called your Mom an hour ago and she said you were gone."
"Oh," I say absently and she doesn't say anything for a while. She just settles into me, her head finding a comfortable position on my shoulder, her breaths warm on my neck. I bite my lip to keep from shuddering. After a moment, she reaches forward and pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear.
"Ash what's happening to us?" she asks in a guarded voice and I can feel how tense she is. She's really worried. But I can't lie to her. She's my friend. She's my best friend.
"I don't know Spence," I say sadly and she just snuggles into my neck.
She really has no idea. None whatsoever. Because if she did, she wouldn't be doing this, being all close to me and touching me. She wouldn't think it all meant nothing. If she knew, I'd see something on her eyes. Something that shines just for me. Something that tells me she feels the same way.
"Ash look at me," she says pulling away, and I immediately miss her touch.
"Huh?" I ask dumbly, even though I heard exactly what she said.
"Look at me dufus," she says again with a nervous laugh, and she tugs a few of the curls in the back of my head. I laugh too and then turn around and meet those blue orbs for the millionth time in my life. It feels just like it always does, like I'm falling and I never want to stop. And unexpected smile creeps onto my face and I giggle nervously, looking way.
"There. I looked at you," I say turning back around and she just sighs.
I don't know what to make of how Spencer's being right now so I square my shoulders and try to focus on the sidewalk and the street ahead of us. But then she's nestled into my neck again and my stomach is spinning like a tornado.
"I don't want anyone to ever look at me the way you do," she says seriously, and I know better than to take it as an insult. I just lift my shoulders a bit to tell her that I understand and she sigh again, her breaths beading against my skin.
"Chris will be here in an hour," I say, but she doesn't move. She just stays there and I don't have the guts to move her. I'm too far gone. I love this too much.
"I know," she answers and then slowly, as if she doesn't want to, she stands, pulling me up by my shoulders. She grabs my left hand and intertwines our fingers. "C'mon. Let's go pick out my dress," she says wearily, and I understand that she doesn't want to go. That's the easy part. The question is why not? Why doesn't she want to go? And why all of a sudden am I feeling like we're closer than we've been in four years right now, in this very moment? Why do I feel like she knows? "Ash, C'mon" she pleads and I look up at her, realizing that I've been standing in the same spot for the past few seconds. She's watching me with big, frightened eyes, so I smile just to make her feel better. It does. She smiles right back and starts to drag me up the first step.
"Just promise me one thing," I say jokingly.
"What?" she replies.
"Promise you won't kiss him on the first date." I say quickly, closing my eyes from embarrassment as I say it. But Spencer doesn't even look back. She just laughs and her shoulders rise and fall like they always do. She keeps walking. "Promise," I say again in a louder voice and this time she turns to look at me. The light on the stair is out and I can't see her face at all, but in the strangest voice she answers, "Okay."
My heart stops for a second, but then she turns away and we're at the top of the stairs.
"So should I go with red or black..." she begins, disappearing into her doorway.
I take a deep breath, and prepare myself for the worse, or should I just say...the usual.