Angel sits at his office desk, trying t go through papers. Spike sits across from him in a guest chair.
Spike repeats again and again while nodding his headed side-to-side, "Ponce, ponce, ponce, ponce. Ponce, ponce, ponce, ponce. Ponce, ponce, ponce, ponce. Ponce--"
"Spike -- do you have to do that?"
"Yes. Ponce, ponce, ponce, ponce. Ponce, ponce--"
"Spike -- you're really starting to get on my nerves."
"That's the general idea. Ponce, ponce, ponce--"
"I liked you better when you were a ghost. No, scratch that -- dead."
"Technically I am dead, you daft git."
"Dead dead."
"Ah," nods his head, "the ultimate kind of dead. Unless you're Buffy. Buffy again, you, Buffy a third time, Darla, place holder for Buffy a fourth time--"
Stops going threw the papers ands looks Spike in the eyes, "Don't use her name in this office. In fact -- I don't want to hear her name escape your lips in my presence. Got that?"
"When was the last time you got laid? Aside from Eve. The last century? You know, one day you might wake up and find it doesn't work anymore."
"Yes ... I had a friend who once mentioned something like that."
Just then Wesley walks in with an open vanilla folder holding papers.
"Good morning all," Wesley says while reading.
"Morning Merry Poppins," says Spike .
Angel shifts gears and perks up at the site of the papers, "Is that today's news?"
"Yes, just got it a bit ago."
"All right, tell me what's happening."
"There's a group of vampires subletting rental units in exchange for blood; seem peaceful enough -- at least they haven't drained anybody. Reportedly."
"Low priority. What else?"
"Reports are still coming, but apparently Andrew and a group of slayers stopped the Cleveland Hellmouth from being opened."
Spike comments, "There's a healthy bit of demonic activity there, so I hear."
Angel replies, "We got enough problems in LA; let Giles and his team take care of it."
"Right. Three vampire attacks last night. A warrior demon named Cavakis arrived this morning to kill you."
"Tell him to take a number," Angel adds non chalantly.
"But," Wesley reads aloud, "he got hit by a speeding buss. Extraction team found him dead on the scene."
"Remind me to send a thank you letter to the buss driver."
"A community of mixed-heritage demons were found dead on the island of Briole; it's off the coast of Equador."
"The Scourge."
"Yes..." Wesley briefly looks at Angel confused, "one dying member said The Scourge was responsible for the massacre. How did you know?"
"I just did. Form a task force; I want that Scourge troop killed."
Wesley cautions in a warning tone, "Angel, The Scourge number in the tens of thousands. It's best we not declare war with a demon army."
Spike interjects, "And if we do, don't even think about asking me to wear an amulet."
"Spike, no one is talking to you. I don't need to hear your thoughts on this, my penis, or anything else."
"You were thinking about his ... todger?" comments Wesley.
"The hell you do. You're about to declare war on The Scourge."
"Don't tell me how to do my job."
"I can and I will. You people may hate me, but I actually care somewhat for all of you, and we're all fighting on the same side."
"You think you can do a better job than me?"
"I've managed to stay alive this long, right?"
"Fine," picks up the phone, "Gunn, I need you in my office. Bring legal papers."
"Short answer -- Spike can't be the boss. But--"
Spike interrupts Gunn, "Buts are nice."
"There is a loop hole. You got 12 paid-days leave accumulated, and if you take some of those, you have to appoint someone to be in charge while off."
"He's always off," adds Spike.
"Spike, quiet," commands Angel. "So, I can name him temporary acting president?"
"Yup," but why in the fluffy heavens would you want to?" asks Gunn.
"Teach him a lesson."
"Couldn't we just cast a silencing spell upon him?" asks Wesley.
"Tempting, but..." stands and walks around his desk, "you're the boss."
"Damn straight I am," and with that Spike walks around and sits in Angel's chair. He starts moving things around on the desk.
Fred walks in, flipping through papers.
"Hey, Angel, I got some papers I need you to sign and," looks up, "wh ... why is Spike sitting in your chair?"