Stephanie Plum had a problem. Actually, she had many, many problems, but none seemed nearly as important as the one she was dealing with now.
Stephanie, big, bad bounty hunter, Plum, was being chased by the woman I was supposed to be chasing.
My day started off as normal as it could have. I got up, showered, did the blow dry, hairspray, gel thing and applied liberal amounts of black mascara. I did everything a Jersey girl should do to ready herself for the day to come.
On my way through the kitchen, I stopped and peered into the refridgerator. There was nothing decent to eat for breakfast, but I grabbed the remaining grape and plopped it into Rex's cage. He wiggled backwards out of his soup can and stuffed the grape into his cheek. He didn't even stop to look at me, he just scrambled back into his can to nap.
This was the kind of relationship he and I shared. We didn't want much from each other and it worked. Rex was the best roommate a girl could ask for.
I locked up behind myself and managed to escape my building without having to speak to any of my elderly neighbors. While it was nice that I always had someone to look after Rex and my apartment in my absence, I was always a little afraid I was going to scare them and I'd end up with a bullet in me. I knew full well all of them were packing.
When I got down to the parking lot, I almost thought someone had stolen my car. After sixty seconds of confusion, I realized that the car I was looking for had been blown up two weeks ago and the replacement was right in front of me.
The sky was a mix of grey-green that seemed very ominous. And the humidity level had risen fifty percent since I'd been awake. I knew it was going to rain. The only thing no one knew was when it was going to start.
I cursed myself for not bringing a hat and got into my car. Currently, I was driving a two door Chevy Cavalier. It was silver and currently matched the nasty grey clouds of the impending storms. So what if a Cavalier didn't strike fear into the hearts of FTAs or was even big enough to haul them in, it was good on gas and was extremely affordable when it came to the choice between the Mustang or it.
And it was too small for scary men to hide in.
I drove to the office on autopilot. I needed another skip. Hopefully, it would be easy because I was desperate for rent money.
When I pushed through the single glass door, I first noticed Lula doing some filing: her nails. Today, they were two-toned orange and yellow and matched the yellow leather shorts and boots she was wearing. She looked up as I walked in, but immediately went back to her nails. I wondered what I could hae possibly have done, but pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I had to focus on bringing in a skip. Any skip. I was desperate for money.
Connie was sitting at her desk and "uh-huhing" into her phone. She looked bored as she painted her own nails a deep red color. She stopped long enough to hold up one finger to signal that she would only be another minute.
After five, she finally put the reciever down.
"The cops just got one of our bonds," she said, looking grouchy.
"Which one?" I asked, hoping it wasn't an expensive, easy one.
"He was wanted for mail fraud. We bonded him for only two hundred dollars," Connie replied.
Lula finally looked up and spoke loudly, like she was trying to compensate for being hard of hearing. "I love this thing!"
Connie and I turned to her and stared in amazement.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked. Then I noticed she was wearing headphones. She was hard of hearing.
"What?" she asked, trying to read my lips.
She got frustrated though and pulled both of the earbuds out in one tug.
"I bought an iPod," she said.
The music was still playing on the mp3 player and the office was filled with pounding rap music. Or rather the bass to the rap music.
I must have made a face, actually I know I made a face, because she immediately replaced the headphones and cast me a dirty look.
"I guess I'm going out alone today," I said to Connie. "Speaking of that, any new FTAs?"
"Actually, one just came in an hour ago. Lindsey Faust, wanted for B and E."
"How much is she worth?" I asked.
"Twenty-five thousand," Connie replied.
My jaw dropped to the floor.
"Why?"
"She broke into a bank vault. The bank didn't want us to do it, but her father was the co-signer and he was good for it."
"If..."
"I know what you're going to ask, and I have no idea of the answer. I don't know why she felt the need to break into a bank if her father had money and was willing to shell it out," Connie answered.
"Oh," I said, taking her folder. I opened it and looked at the woman in the photograph. Twenty three years old. She had brown hair streaked with blonde, in thousands of tiny curls all over her head. Blue eyes. She was about 5'2" and weighed probably 165 pounds Wonderful. I could do this if she wasn't built like a brick wall. The girl's eyes stared out of the photo and looked at me. She had the face of a girl who'd never had to do any physical activity in her short life. No wonder she got caught. She couldn't run.
She lived in a house not too far from my parents. This girl must not be Burg-raised. No Burger, if their parents had money, would be stupid enough to break into a bank.
I walked back outside and was greeted by a figure in black. Ranger. He was leaning on the roof of my car, mostly because the hood was too low to the ground to work as a leaning place.
I had an awful thought flash through my mind. Ranger was bigger than my car.
"Yo," he said.
"Yo yourself," I answered back.
"On your way out?" he asked.
"Yup. I'm going to pick up a skip. It's worth a couple months rent," I said, trying to not make eye-contact. Making eye-contact with Ranger always led to problems.
He smiled at me and poked me in the nose before he walked into the office.
I never knew what to make of these Ranger situations.
I unlocked my car and climbed in. I was headed out to the old neighborhood.
As I drove in the direction of Lindsey's house, my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID; it was my mother.
"Hello?" I said into the reciever.
"Stephanie, this is your mother," she said.
"I know. What can I do for you, mom?"
"We are having ham tonight and I expect you to be there. I've already talked to Joseph," she said.
"You called Morelli?" I asked.
"Of course I called Joseph. If I left it up to you, no one would be there," she explained.
"I might not be done..."
"I am also making pineapple upside down cake," my mother told me.
"I'll be there at six," I said and clicked the phone shut.
I was a sucker for pineapple upside down cake.
But back to business. I pulled up in front of the girl's house and could hear some pop music blasting from the open windows. I double checked the girl's age and yes, she was twenty three years old.
This should be simple. I made sure I had all of my things were in order in my pocket book and marched to the front door.
A nice middle-aged woman answered the door. Clearly this was the mother.
"Hello, I'm Stephanie Plum. I work for Vincent Plum..."
The woman cut me off.
"You're here for Lindsey, aren't you?" she asked.
"Well, yes," I said.
"And you're a bounty hunter."
"Yes. Is Lindsey here?"
"Yes, but you can't talk to her."
"She needs to come with me to reschedule her court date. She was supposed to be there yesterday, and failed to appear," I explained.
"She had to go to class yesterday, she's in college, you know," her mother explained.
"Mom, what's going on?" Lindsey asked. She was dressed in too tight pink velour sweats. She looked like a slightly smaller version of Lula.
"Miss Plum thinks she's going to take you to court to reschedule," the mother said.
"Oh really?" Lindsey asked, and drew a knife out of nowhere.
She lunged towards me, pushing the screen door open. I started moving backwards quickly, then turned around to run in the right direction.
Lindsey was hot on my heels, still holding the knife, ready to stab lots and lots of holes in me.
And that is how my seemingly normal day became even more normal: I was being chased by the person I was supposed to be chasing. Isn't that lovely?
Just when I was gaining some headway, I tripped over something and Lindsey came to a halt above me.
As the knife swung down at me, I heard another girl scream at Lindsey from a car that had pulled up. Lindsey had enough time to tear my jeans and my t-shirt as it started to rain. Great. On top of everything, it was raining.
Lindsey was listening to the girl in the car and moved quickly to hop into the pink Jeep Wrangler. And before I could get the rain out of my eyes and memorize the license plate, the Jeep was a pink blur in the distance.
I'd lost another one.
A/N: Please review. I love reviews. Especially good ones.